Seriously dinnertime and bedtime with a baby and a toddler are no joke. Haven't figured it out yet. Doesn't help DS2 is most alert and most cranky from 4 to 8 or 9 pm and wants to cluster feed. The swing and pacifier do nothing to calm him. Babywearing does help.
I do ok with both during the day but come dinner time all hell breaks loose. It's complete insanity until we put ds in the crib for the night. Must figure out how to make it easier, but don't know where to even start. It doesn't help that dh completely freaks out and just shuts down. Last night he said, "I hate my life right now." when ds threw water out of the tub and I lost it. Cried and cried some more. I know how frustrated he was but him saying that made me so sad.
In my experience I have had a much easier time dealing with the change than DH has. When he has to deal with both kiddos it is pure chaos. I've gotten into a pretty good routine with them after a month or so. I keep encouraging DH to talk to other dads to learn how they deal but it's a slow adjustment on his part.
I do ok with both during the day but come dinner time all hell breaks loose. It's complete insanity until we put ds in the crib for the night. Must figure out how to make it easier, but don't know where to even start. It doesn't help that dh completely freaks out and just shuts down. Last night he said, "I hate my life right now." when ds threw water out of the tub and I lost it. Cried and cried some more. I know how frustrated he was but him saying that made me so sad.
In my experience I have had a much easier time dealing with the change than DH has. When he has to deal with both kiddos it is pure chaos. I've gotten into a pretty good routine with them after a month or so. I keep encouraging DH to talk to other dads to learn how they deal but it's a slow adjustment on his part.
Post by activebaby on Jul 12, 2016 16:47:08 GMT -5
For everyone's enjoyment...Dh asked me when I was going to change my mesh underwear. I think he seriously thought I was wearing the same pair from the hospital for days. I told him I took home extra pairs (he looked relieved). He then told me he was going to call them fishnet panties because that sounded better - so I decided it was time for me to wear real underwear again.
First full day on pantyliners. God this feels freeing.
I hope I'm not too far behind you on this.
activebaby, I traded in the mesh for grannie panties. I tried to ditch them yesterday and my regular pairs hit my incision right on, so.... Back to grannie panties for a while. Dh asked if they were mine and if I was going to wear them when he did the laundry. Lol
I had my six week check up today. I'm all good. It did make me realize that I probably had undiagnosed PPA last time. I am much less anxious and worried about being a good mom. With DD1 I'd constantly check to make sure she was breathing and had trouble letting her out of my sight.
10mos old and still look pregnant. But on the bright side, having two gets easier. Trust me. You'll get there! Just takes a little time to find your groove.
10 months? Oh my goodness!! I agree that once the new baby gets into more of a routine, it gets easier
I had my six week check up today. I'm all good. It did make me realize that I probably had undiagnosed PPA last time. I am much less anxious and worried about being a good mom. With DD1 I'd constantly check to make sure she was breathing and had trouble letting her out of my sight.
Was it the questions they asked that made you think that about PPA?
I had my six week check up today. I'm all good. It did make me realize that I probably had undiagnosed PPA last time. I am much less anxious and worried about being a good mom. With DD1 I'd constantly check to make sure she was breathing and had trouble letting her out of my sight.
Was it the questions they asked that made you think that about PPA?
The midwife was just asking me about how the transition was going and how DD2 is compared to DD1. I was talking about how its easier with DD2 in some ways. And then I was comparing them and it dawned on me that my anxiety level is so different and how much I freaked out over last time.
I lost my shit last night and feel awful physically and emotionally. DS2 gave me a nice 4.5 hr sleep stretch. But then I couldn't get him back to sleep for 2 hours. Then finally when I did he was moaning and grunting so loud I couldn't sleep. After an hour of that I screamed into my pillow but it woke MH in the next room so I obviously didn't do a good job muffling it. I feel like a monster. I have pretty much been awake since 2am last night. Insomnia plus noisy newborn.
Now whenever I look at DS2 I get teary because I feel so bad for getting so frustrated. Although I think I'm going to have to get MH to start helping me at night. He can sleep through anything so maybe DS2 can sleep in his room (he snores so separate rooms for now) and he can bring him to me when he cries. But some nights aren't bad with the baby noises and I can sleep fine.
microworm, DH woke up to me crying that DD2 hated me when she was about two weeks old. You are not alone there. MOTN party time is a hard thing to deal with
microworm, DH woke up to me crying that DD2 hated me when she was about two weeks old. You are not alone there. MOTN party time is a hard thing to deal with
So hard. Especially when you know how well they sleep during the day (at least mine does). This is the 2nd or 3rd time I've had a MOTN meltdown. I hate it.
Post by activebaby on Jul 13, 2016 11:54:04 GMT -5
microworm just sending support your way. Ds1 co-sleeps. Ds2 is in the pack and play sleeper. This gives ds1 extra cuddle time. It's probably exactly the opposite of what is recommended, but it lets me sleep (well minus the newborn stuff...) Not sure how to support you other than saying, whatever decision you make to get some sleep is a good decision, even if it may not be the "perfect/book answer"
activebaby thanks for the support. I wish I could put DS2 on his belly. I do supervised tummy naps during the day and he sleeps much sounder (and quieter).
Right now he is in a RNP. I'm going to see if he likes the flat pack n play better but I doubt it.
Oh and I've exhausted Google looking for noise cancelling ear plugs. Apparently I have the strongest kind save the fanceh ones that are ear buds but expensive.
If I were to want an Ambien prescription, do you think I would go to my Ob or my primary care? Actually I don't really have a primary care physician. I just go to this one practice if I get sick.
If I were to want an Ambien prescription, do you think I would go to my Ob or my primary care? Actually I don't really have a primary care physician. I just go to this one practice if I get sick.
No experience with ambien, but I had unisom during pregnancy and that always helped me sleep (along with helping nausea).
If I were to want an Ambien prescription, do you think I would go to my Ob or my primary care? Actually I don't really have a primary care physician. I just go to this one practice if I get sick.
No experience with ambien, but I had unisom during pregnancy and that always helped me sleep (along with helping nausea).
Yea I took unisom during pregnancy too and it really does nothing for me. I've dealt with insomnia since HS. Also unisom doesn't seem to be safe while BFing while ambien is.
Post by sstwinklinglites on Jul 13, 2016 13:37:55 GMT -5
microworm - I have really bad insomnia. I don't take Rx for it, I use over the counter. I find that by switching between medication where the active ingredient is doxylamine versus diphenhydramine helps. Like, my brains gets used to one so I have to take the other, and back and forth like that. I'm not sure if either is safe while BF though.
No experience with ambien, but I had unisom during pregnancy and that always helped me sleep (along with helping nausea).
Yea I took unisom during pregnancy too and it really does nothing for me. I've dealt with insomnia since HS. Also unisom doesn't seem to be safe while BFing while ambien is.
Well I'm glad I responded...I learned something thx!
Yea I took unisom during pregnancy too and it really does nothing for me. I've dealt with insomnia since HS. Also unisom doesn't seem to be safe while BFing while ambien is.
Well I'm glad I responded...I learned something thx!
Well I talked to the nurse. They are going to give me limited ambien but asked if I tried OTC first and said unisom is ok but Google tells me it isn't. So confusing.
I really overdid it yesterday apparently. Bleeding is much worse today. Oops.
I felt like new baby was the perfect excuse to do the least. Even after DH was back to work and family had left. I didn't feel bad about not getting much done. Take it easy and just enjoy the baby snuggles and down time.
I really overdid it yesterday apparently. Bleeding is much worse today. Oops.
I felt like new baby was the perfect excuse to do the least. Even after DH was back to work and family had left. I didn't feel bad about not getting much done. Take it easy and just enjoy the baby snuggles and down time.
I think I would have been fine if I hadn't done the toddler bath and bed time solo. Dh was working late and ds literally rolled in dirt for an hour. He had to be bathed. Today I'm not doing much, it's just me and baby for most of the day.
I felt like new baby was the perfect excuse to do the least. Even after DH was back to work and family had left. I didn't feel bad about not getting much done. Take it easy and just enjoy the baby snuggles and down time.
I think I would have been fine if I hadn't done the toddler bath and bed time solo. Dh was working late and ds literally rolled in dirt for an hour. He had to be bathed. Today I'm not doing much, it's just me and baby for most of the day.
I hear ya. Is taking a quick bath with DS an option, so you don't have to bend over the tub? I hate bathing DS because of the bending over or kneeling at the tub, so I try to pass that on to DH as much as possible.
I think I would have been fine if I hadn't done the toddler bath and bed time solo. Dh was working late and ds literally rolled in dirt for an hour. He had to be bathed. Today I'm not doing much, it's just me and baby for most of the day.
I hear ya. Is taking a quick bath with DS an option, so you don't have to bend over the tub? I hate bathing DS because of the bending over or kneeling at the tub, so I try to pass that on to DH as much as possible.
I guess I could. I was having a hard time last night because baby was crying and so I did a really quick bath for ds while I let her cry in the swing. I probably wasn't as careful as I would have been if I was taking my time. Dh will be on bath duty for the rest of the week!
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