TTMA bedtime routines.

[Ray]

The nurse who did a home visit recommended establishing a bedtime routine pronto that included reading or a song or something.

What do you guys do?

What have you done with previous kids?

Is LO already passed out when you put them down or do you put them down even if they're still awake and then they just fall asleep in their own?

Tell me your ways!!



We don't really have a set routine. We're nursing on demand so basically any time he wakes up after 7 we change and lotion him, I nurse him, swaddle, nurse on the other side for a short while then put him down. Every other night we give him a bath. I felt stupid reading him a book when he was basically already passed out and if I sing him a lullaby it makes him more alert lol.

[cavewmn]

Ugh we are just on survival mode.

Really should start establishing a bed time routine though.

[melody330]

We didn't start reading to ds1 as part of his bedtime routine until we weaned his before bed nursing session. So around 18 months. Before that his routine was:

-dinner
-bath
-teeth
-pjs
-nurse until drowsy and put down awake (would put him down asleep until he was about 12 months)

Ds2 does not have a routine yet. We are in survival mode. around 3-4 months we will start to establish something like

-nurse
-bath every other day
-pjs
-nurse in rocker in nursery until asleep

Nothing fancy. We also use white noise machines all night. It really helps DS1 drown out the noise from the house

[potter713]

We don't have a routine yet. Around 9:30 or so I'll get DS2 in pjs, swaddled, then bring him into my room where I turn on his white noise and nurse him then put him down for bed. That's the extent of the routine. With DS1 we did bath, nurse with white noise on and lights dimmed, then bed. Eventually it became bath, book, bed once he was a year old or so. I'll get there with DS2 but I'm not ready for a real routine yet. He sleeps pretty well (for a newborn) so I'm not worried about it yet.

[lostinfaith225]

We are in survival mode trying to juggle both kids. Buuuut, we try to do:

Bath, lotion, pjs, bottle, book/song, rocking if needed

[comicSans]

We just go through DD's routine and DS tags along. Her routine is jammies & diaper, play in her room, brush teeth, read books, songs & snuggles with me, into the crib. (It's kind of long) We ruled out bedtime baths with her as a baby because she'd get all riled up. We had to keep books to a minimum too because she'd get so overstimulated.

It's worked out that DS usually nurses while we're doing that or slightly after, then starts his first stretch of sleep. Until tonight that is. He's been intermittently crying for an hour. He'll fall asleep for 5 minutes, then wake back up and scream in my face. Tonight sucks. Maybe he's decided he's old enough to have a witching hour.

I digress... Imo most of our babies are too little to start worrying about bed time routine, and too little to expect them to be laid down drowsy and fall asleep on their own. We started a routine with DD around 2 months and it took 3 - 4 weeks to be established and an actual bed time to be set. It wasn't until around 4 months that I could ever lay her down without being totally asleep, and it didn't always work...some kids can't do it at all without sleep training.

For DS we'll probably formalize it more around 2 months - like actually change him into pjs & give him specific snuggle and nurse time, just to set the cues that bed time is coming.

[madamewaffles]

No routine yet. I do read to him before naps (he will fall asleep while I do this sometimes), but usually just before the long stretch of night we do bath (every 3rd-4th day, or washcloth bath on days in between), new diaper, nurse 1 side, change diaper, nurse other side, change diaper if needed, and rock, if needed.

Sometimes is passed out when he is down for the night, other times, he is milk drunk and kind of lulls himself to sleep. He responds well to me stroking his tummy lightly.

[tootsie]

No routine here yet, I'm mostly trying to get her to know the difference between night and day by keeping things noisy and bright during the day, and calm and dark at night. She sleeps most of the time anyway. In the next couple of months we will try to establish a routine but I don't think we did books with DD1 until she showed interest other than eating them.

I have put her down awake and she's fallen asleep several times, which surprised me because I don't think DD1 did that pretty much ever, but again, she's a sleepy newborn so I don't expect it to last.

[sarcaztic10]

With L we started a loose routine at about 1 or 2 months old. We would give him a bath, we only used soap about 1-2 times a week the rest of the time was just water. Then lotion if needed. Then into a diaper, story time (when he was really little I read him all the Harry Potter books), bottle, then bed.

We will start that same routine when S is about 1 month old.

[prvc678]

The newborn stage is way too young for any sort of "routine", IMHO. We didn't start a routine with DD til about 2 months, once we solidly established her eating and she was gaining well (we had huge struggles with bf'ing) and she was consistently sleeping longer stretches at night. The newborn phase is all about survival.

[katelou]

No routine. Last time we started around 8 weeks when sleep got more consistent. I didn't do books til 9+months, so our routine was bath every other night, and nursing and singing while in the rocking chair. Right now she tags along for DD1's bedtime story sometimes, I'm not sure if we'll try a combo bedtime routine as she gets older or not.

[rungirlrun]

A bit before I want to go to bed, he gets a new diaper, gets in pj's, and I nurse him in his room (usually to sleep) and put him in his crib. I go to bed and hope for the best. That's our routine. No clue when we started a real routine with the older one, but it was probably a few months down the road when he was sleeping more consistently.

[Susan0utLoud]

Honestly, we didn't start an actual routine until 6 months, which is when we moved him from our room to his room and big crib. The routine of bath milk bed worked at first and he slept through the night but slowly devolved and we were miserable. We ended up sleep training at around 10 months and since then we've had the following routine:

Dinner
Bath
Milk
Teeth
2 books (strict limit)
Music box
Into crib awake

Most nights I feel like a robot, but the routine works! I think our babies are too young at this point. We'll sleep train sooner this time if she needs it. We will not be suffering for months this time

[littlesthobo]

Right now with DS2 the only reason we have a "routine" (I'm using the term loosely) is because of DS1. DS1 picks jammies for DS2, then we do a bath/wipedown and diaper change, and bottle while DS1 goes on to his routine of bath, teeth, story, bed. This is to involve DS1 and show him that baby goes to bed too when DS1 does.

With DS1, it was 8ish weeks when we started the routine of bath, jammies, milk, bed. I would put him in his crib in his own room for the first stretch of sleep. We didn't read before bed until we ditched the bottle at 20ish months (swapped bottle for a book). We kept up this routine and added to it as needed (eg brush teeth).

Remember that routines are flexible and you can adapt them as baby's (and your!) needs change. Also, your routine can be as short or long as you want it to be. I'm pretty strict with not spending more than 20-30 mins on DS1's routine.

[beebe918]

We are only just now doing a bedtime routine with our 14 month old and that is just reading a book while he drinks a sippy of milk. What is the reasoning behind starting a bedtime routine? We never had trouble with sleep so I guess that's why I never saw a point. I know a lot of people who do a bath every night then book etc. I do not have time for all that.

[comicSans]

Jul 31, 2016 23:25:02 GMT -5 beebe918 said:

We are only just now doing a bedtime routine with our 14 month old and that is just reading a book while he drinks a sippy of milk. What is the reasoning behind starting a bedtime routine? We never had trouble with sleep so I guess that's why I never saw a point. I know a lot of people who do a bath every night then book etc. I do not have time for all that.

DD didn't have a solid bedtime until we established a routine. She'd hang out and sleep in the rnp downstairs until we went to bed. Pedi urged me at 2 months to pick a bedtime and start a routine - they start to be able to distinguish patterns and pick up on the cues that bath + jammies + milk = night sleep is next (or whatever the routine). The goal is to set a bedtime with the idea of hem sleeping, still waking just to eat, for 12 hours, and just as importantly to give yourself some adult time each evening.

We originally started the routine at 8 with the goal of bedtime eventually being at 8. It took a couple weeks, and later we figured out that she slept better if she was down by 7. Now at 2 bedtime is more like 7:30ish because she's always pushing it, but her routine starts between 6:30 & 7. We'll probably aim to have DS down by 7 once we really get him on a routine.

[comicSans]

It's interesting to me how many didn't do books until later. DD always loved books and would really look at them pretty early on. Her first word was book, and for a while every time we'd go into her room she'd insist on reading books - signing it and saying it - so books are a big part of bedtime and naps.

It'll be interesting to see how this differs with DS's personality.

[rungirlrun]

Jul 31, 2016 23:48:30 GMT -5 comicSans said:

It's interesting to me how many didn't do books until later. DD always loved books and would really look at them pretty early on. Her first word was book, and for a while every time we'd go into her room she'd insist on reading books - signing it and saying it - so books are a big part of bedtime and naps.

It'll be interesting to see how this differs with DS's personality.

We also started reading books to DS1 very early. We probably read him stories when he was a few days old. Seems silly to look back bc he was probably sleeping during story time, but we had the time so why not? Now he is obsessed with books and the library is his favorite place.

I feel like we should start with books ASAP this time around, but I know it will be much harder due to toddler demands. We are 3 days in, and I already feel super guilty about what DS2 isn't going to get that his big brother got :-(

[littlesthobo]

Jul 31, 2016 23:48:30 GMT -5 comicSans said:

It's interesting to me how many didn't do books until later. DD always loved books and would really look at them pretty early on. Her first word was book, and for a while every time we'd go into her room she'd insist on reading books - signing it and saying it - so books are a big part of bedtime and naps.

It'll be interesting to see how this differs with DS's personality.

With DS1 I felt like I was the only one not reading to my baby. I had friends who were like "I read three books per day with my two month old!" Like it was a competition. But I didn't bother because DS1 wasn't really interested and I felt dumb reading to him when he didn't get it. Now he loves reading and brings me books randomly! I'm glad to see it wasn't just me not reading to my itty bitty baby. comicSans that's amazing that your DD was so interested from such a young age!

[housecarder]

Ray I would say to you that that nurse doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Newborns have no routine. Once they start having longer stretches of sleep then maybe you can have a routine. For now I would just focus on keeping nighttime feedings quick and calm with as little noise/light as possible.

You probably know that routine =/= schedule. The order is more important than the time.
Our basic bedtime routine for the older kids is:
Dinner
Bath (not every night)
Pajamas
Tooth brushing
Book/song/prayers
Tucked into bed

I plan on starting something similar when we transition to the nursery:
Bath (not every night)
Pajamas
Bottle in the nursery
Rocking and singing
Tucked into bed

comicSans we do books even now, but not as part of the bedtime routine, even with my older kids we don't do a book every night, but we read almost every day and multiple books.

With babies/toddlers even just allowing them to hold/touch/mouth board books or the cloth ones really can set the foundation for loving books.

[housecarder]

Also, even with my background in early childhood education, nursing, and two older kids, it's easy for me to forget exactly when I'm supposed to be transitioning. I love the emails I get from Lucie's list because they are a great reminder. This week's email was about infant sleep:

6 Weeks Postpartum
Written by Meg Collins, Edited by Stephanie Power

Right now, you probably haven’t seen much rhyme or reason to your baby’s sleep patterns. While it may be a little aggravating, it’s totally normal.

In the next 6 weeks or so, you will start to notice that baby’s sleep will become more organized, both during the day and at night. Right now, his tummy is growing to allow him to drink more at each feed; he’s also starting to produce hormones like melatonin and cortisol that will help him experience circadian rhythms, like adults do.

While sleep will become much more concentrated at night, most babies are still up twice a night to eat during this time period (6-12 weeks); for some, it’s once a night.

Daytime

By the END of this period (12 weeks), your baby should be moving toward 3 regularly scheduled naps per day. This should allow you to create a (somewhat) predictable daily schedule. The duration between naps will be about 45 minutes to 2 hours for a total of 11-15 hours of sleep per day.

Many babies only take crappy little 20-30 minute naps (the “crap nap”), especially when they suspect you have important things to do. While frustrating, this is actually quite normal because 20-30 minutes is the length of time of a daytime sleep cycle, so we sometimes see babies wake at this point if they become aroused and don’t enter into another sleep cycle. You can try to get them back down, although it doesn't always work. Don’t sweat it; you can only control so much.

At Night

The Holy Grail: Sleeping Through the Night

The next month is when most babies start extending their sleep to 4, 5, or 6+ hours at a time during the night; around eight weeks seems to be a popular time for this to happen. Yippy Skippy! About half of you lucky dogs will have a baby that will sleep through the night (STTN) by 12 weeks, defined as 7+ hours of continuous sleep. For others, it will take a little longer. Try not to get frustrated; there’s not much you can do to rush it. If your baby is sleeping 5+ hours by 12 weeks, I’d say you’re in pretty good shape! Try to be patient.

How long a baby will sleep depends on MANY factors, but weight is the most significant one. Most babies are “eligible” to STTN when they hit the 11-13 lb mark. Those of us that had babies the size of a Thanksgiving turkey (10+ lbs) will get there REALLY fast, while those with small babies will take a while longer [hey, count your blessings, at least your cooch didn’t get destroyed; you win some, you lose some ;-) ].

During the next 6 weeks, my goal for you is to reduce the number of times you are waking at night to feed, hopefully to one or zero times per night by the end of 3 months (although some will still wake twice to feed). Trust me, I will not let you become one of those moms who is waking twice a night to feed a 1-year-old merely out of habit. But for now, it’s still quite early: if your baby needs to eat, he needs to eat.

Changing Diapers

You should be entering a no-pooping-during-the-night period very soon, if you haven’t already. When baby wakes up, give her a sniff to see if there’s a poop and only change it then.

One woman told me she changes her son’s diaper every couple of hours at night “to help him sleep better”. She’d wake him up, take off his diaper, then WIPE him. Ha! Trust me, nothing wakes a baby faster than a cold, wet wipe on his crotch! Hey, why not give him a cold shower and a shot of espresso while you’re at it? I hear people say, “But he can’t sleep with a wet diaper!” Studies show this is not true. If he wets his clothes or bedding, that’s a different story, but for regular peeing, try not to worry about it…

[beebe918]

Jul 31, 2016 23:48:30 GMT -5 comicSans said:

It's interesting to me how many didn't do books until later. DD always loved books and would really look at them pretty early on. Her first word was book, and for a while every time we'd go into her room she'd insist on reading books - signing it and saying it - so books are a big part of bedtime and naps.

It'll be interesting to see how this differs with DS's personality.

We did books with DS1 when he was a newborn but there came a point when all he wanted to do was eat the book or rip it and wouldn't stay still to listen so we gave up for awhile. Only just now is he starting to really like books which I'm loving.

[spartyon]

Yea we don't have one. She's 12 days old...as long as she's changed, fed, and swaddled for bed, I feel like I'm doing something right.

[Ray]

Aug 1, 2016 1:56:58 GMT -5 housecarder said:

Ray I would say to you that that nurse doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. [\b]Newborns have no routine. Once they start having longer stretches of sleep then maybe you can have a routine. For now I would just focus on keeping nighttime feedings quick and calm with as little noise/light as possible.

You probably know that routine =/= schedule. The order is more important than the time.
Our basic bedtime routine for the older kids is:
Dinner
Bath (not every night)
Pajamas
Tooth brushing
Book/song/prayers
Tucked into bed

I plan on starting something similar when we transition to the nursery:
Bath (not every night)
Pajamas
Bottle in the nursery
Rocking and singing
Tucked into bed

comicSans we do books even now, but not as part of the bedtime routine, even with my older kids we don't do a book every night, but we read almost every day and multiple books.

With babies/toddlers even just allowing them to hold/touch/mouth board books or the cloth ones really can set the foundation for loving books.

Ily. Lol

Also - thanks for sharing that email!

[housecarder]

Ray

And you are doing great. Flint is not going to be harmed from not having a routine at 2 weeks old. I hate that there are professionals out there that are making you and other moms feel differently.

[TheTuna15]

Literally zero routine with the new squish. I want to say that DD1 was AT LEAST 10-12 months before we really started getting a routine going. So for DD1, we do:
6:45 - bath
7:00 - sippy with milk
7:15-8:00 - PJs, Diaper change, Read a book or two, and watch a few cartoons while cuddling on the couch
8:00 - Down to bed with her bunny.

DD2: Is nursing on demand, and doesn't do much. Sooooooo. She wears a onesie all day and night, she does not like being swaddled. This kid literally just eats and sleeps. I put her down awake and she falls asleep on her own. This is completely opposite of DD1, thus, I'm at a total loss of what else to do with her. Lol

[katelou]

+1 to what housecarder said. And your son will not be an illiterate book hater if you don't start reading him books at 3 weeks old.

[katelou]

TheTuna15 my DD also didn't have specific pajamas vs clothes for a long time. She hated clothing changes so much that i'd leave her in the same thing for 2-3 days or until it was spit up on/pooped on, whichever came first.

[littlesthobo]

Aug 1, 2016 10:41:32 GMT -5 katelou said:

+1 to what housecarder said. And your son will not be an illiterate book hater if you don't start reading him books at 3 weeks old.

This made me lol! And I was totally led to believe this with my first!

[icaughtfire]

No on having a routine. Every night he gets a quick wipe down, we'll transition to tub baths soon every couple days, I change him, lotion him up, feed him & then before I put him down swaddle him. He gets put into the bassinet asleep and we face the night from there. We've been staying up waaaay too late this week, midnight to 1am so I've just got to figure out a way to get all this done at a reasonable hour. The day just flies by.

I don't remember when we started an exact routine for DD, but it was definitely well past the newborn stage.