Tantrums and such

[hoosiermama76]

I hope someone sees this!

I know we all must be dealing with this lately, but DD is so hard to deal with. I don't really know what approach is best for discipline or even how to really do a timeout. DD is biting us and thinks it's funny. She doesn't go to daycare, but I'm worried she will bite one of her playmates. Everything we want her to do, she wants to do on her own or she screams. When I put her in timeout, she counts and sings. How do you structure time out? We aren't spanking her, so besides time outs, what are my options?

[gratefulgirl]

You can check out Love and Logic. Sometimes that worked well for DD1. I also like Janet Landsbury's blog and have Positive Discipline to read.

Ignoring tantrums (crying with intent to provoke a reaction) but soothing meltdowns (getting so upset she looses it completely) is our usual strategy at this age, though we are not perfect at it by any means. Ignoring tantrums sometimes means putting her in a safe space by herself and having her work it out. Worked really well for DD1, less so for DD2.

DD2 is extremely independent. I have yet to figure out how to handle it. Sometimes she just had to be properly dressed to go somewhere. Giving choices has not helped make her need to do it all herself yet, but you can try it. Usually I just tell her I have to do it this time and then do it. She hates it.

[peachesncream]

Redirection is great for us. Sometimes I will start singing, sometimes I will whisper to her so she is forced to quiet down in order to hear me. She does get a timeout if she lashes out physically with hitting or kicking and we talk about how it's not okay to hurt people and she sits in time out until she says I'm sorry.

[jules1614]

Pretty much what PP said. We put him in his high chair so he is contained for a timeout. They don't last long and we always tell him what behavior he did that is not okay and ask him to say sorry. We also try to talk about how things make us feel- mad, frustrated etc but he doesn't quite get that.

[briarrose]

I try to do some Love and Logic and some Happiest Toddler on the Block. That DVD is worth watching, and if you have a good library you can probably get it there. I have gotten very luck with no major tantrums lately, so I will probably get paid back for saying this tomorrow.

[skylark002]

For time outs, we just randomly picked a corner in the room. We give him a warning, then another warning mentioning time out, then he goes in the corner and we stand there with him for about 45 seconds.

I think it's because we're angry more than because he's in the corner, but he really hates time outs.

After time out we hug him, tell him what he can't do again, then go play together.

I don't know is this is right either but I think I saw it on super nanny.

[2redtulips]

I honestly can't imagine R. sitting still for a timeout at this point. We do what the other ladies above have said: redirect or ignore. Ignoring him really gives him the time and space to calm down, because it's really hard to get him to listen at all when he's in the thick of the big emotions.

Once he does calm down, we offer hugs and then focus on something positive together. He is reassured by that.

If he's done something like smack the dog (which is a thing lately, sigh), we also have him say sorry to her and pet her after he has calmed down. Maybe something similar would work for your DD with the biting??

[hoosiermama76]

@2redrulips I am grateful for advice. I'll try it:-)