Can I Just be a Brat right now?
Feb 10, 2015 12:44:57 GMT -5
Post by amshark on Feb 10, 2015 12:44:57 GMT -5
Yes, yes, I understand I'm a spoiled brat, but I could not be less excited that they are preparing my room for roommate #7 to move in.
I hate splitting my one room existence in half, so I can share my tiny space with a stranger and her guests. I hate feeling awkward when I talk on the phone, or get an exam, or am aware of someone else getting an exam on the other side of a thin curtain, while one of us gets the privilege of loudly answering questions about things like "what's coming out of your vagina today?" and "are you having regular bowel movements?" Yes, please - Please remind me that I am also sharing a tiny bathroom with this stranger, and all of her stranger guests (despite the sign on the door that says "Patients only"). Remind me that if I do have a bowel movement, I get to first walk past any number of strangers in my pajamas, and then close the door to a room separating us by a thin wall, where it is painfully obvious to anyone who gives it any thought that I am having a bowel movement. I really hate sharing a tiny bathroom with a stranger.
I absolutely, 100% above all WANT to make it to 34 weeks, so my babies can have the best chance at survival, and a shorter time in the NICU. I will sit through a dozen more roommates, and their guests, and the dark, claustrophobic enclosure that this room becomes when the curtain is drawn to separate the beds. I will give up all privacy in phone conversations, personal and business related, as well as my ability to sleep through the night without being woken by the world's loudest snoring. I will do all of this for the sake of my unborn children.
but also, I wanna go home! Six and a half weeks of hospital bed rest is not the relaxing spa vacation everyone seems to think it is. For some reason, everyone talks to me as if being bored is the great obstacle I need to overcome. I constantly hear sentences that end with, ".... at least it gives you something to do." Boredom is not my issue. Lack of movement, lack of fresh air, sunshine, privacy, dignity, freedom of choice over what I eat, lack of a shower that's not so small that my elbows hit the curtain when I wash my hair, lack of the ability to leave this room without permission, or leave this building at all, lack of a mirror, or contact with my kitties, lack of the ability to sleep 6 hours without interruption for monitoring, vital signs or medication, lack of a comfortable bed, lack of more space than a closet with a broken door and a window ledge to store my personal belongings - these things are my issue, not boredom.
Well, that opened up the flood gates. I thought I was just going to whine about getting a new roommate (which I shouldn't because I've been really lucky, and roommate free for over a week). As it turns out, I seem to think hospital bed rest sucks, and I just let you all know it. Go figure.
I hate splitting my one room existence in half, so I can share my tiny space with a stranger and her guests. I hate feeling awkward when I talk on the phone, or get an exam, or am aware of someone else getting an exam on the other side of a thin curtain, while one of us gets the privilege of loudly answering questions about things like "what's coming out of your vagina today?" and "are you having regular bowel movements?" Yes, please - Please remind me that I am also sharing a tiny bathroom with this stranger, and all of her stranger guests (despite the sign on the door that says "Patients only"). Remind me that if I do have a bowel movement, I get to first walk past any number of strangers in my pajamas, and then close the door to a room separating us by a thin wall, where it is painfully obvious to anyone who gives it any thought that I am having a bowel movement. I really hate sharing a tiny bathroom with a stranger.
I absolutely, 100% above all WANT to make it to 34 weeks, so my babies can have the best chance at survival, and a shorter time in the NICU. I will sit through a dozen more roommates, and their guests, and the dark, claustrophobic enclosure that this room becomes when the curtain is drawn to separate the beds. I will give up all privacy in phone conversations, personal and business related, as well as my ability to sleep through the night without being woken by the world's loudest snoring. I will do all of this for the sake of my unborn children.
but also, I wanna go home! Six and a half weeks of hospital bed rest is not the relaxing spa vacation everyone seems to think it is. For some reason, everyone talks to me as if being bored is the great obstacle I need to overcome. I constantly hear sentences that end with, ".... at least it gives you something to do." Boredom is not my issue. Lack of movement, lack of fresh air, sunshine, privacy, dignity, freedom of choice over what I eat, lack of a shower that's not so small that my elbows hit the curtain when I wash my hair, lack of the ability to leave this room without permission, or leave this building at all, lack of a mirror, or contact with my kitties, lack of the ability to sleep 6 hours without interruption for monitoring, vital signs or medication, lack of a comfortable bed, lack of more space than a closet with a broken door and a window ledge to store my personal belongings - these things are my issue, not boredom.
Well, that opened up the flood gates. I thought I was just going to whine about getting a new roommate (which I shouldn't because I've been really lucky, and roommate free for over a week). As it turns out, I seem to think hospital bed rest sucks, and I just let you all know it. Go figure.