Meh. This is the TWW thread. I see nothing wrong with any BFP posts here. It's not like she posted it on the main board. After a live blog of a labor on GKU, which still has me scratching my head, I may never say anything about anyone posting a BFP again, especially in a TWW thread. The double standards have to stop.
If she even frequented the TWW thead, then it wouldn't be an issue. She only posted in TFAS.
She offered support and congrats within this very thread through the week. I mean, wut? How is this any different than the hundreds of women that have gotten their BFPs in the first cycle? Just because you don't recognize her doesn't mean that she hasn't been hanging out and participating in GKU. Which you can see if you look at her post history. This place has gotten so weird.
If she even frequented the TWW thead, then it wouldn't be an issue. She only posted in TFAS.
She offered support and congrats within this very thread through the week. I mean, wut? How is this any different than the hundreds of women that have gotten their BFPs in the first cycle? Just because you don't recognize her doesn't mean that she hasn't been hanging out and participating in GKU. Which you can see if you look at her post history. This place has gotten so weird.
I didn't even stay anything to the op. I was responding to rissca.
She offered support and congrats within this very thread through the week. I mean, wut? How is this any different than the hundreds of women that have gotten their BFPs in the first cycle? Just because you don't recognize her doesn't mean that she hasn't been hanging out and participating in GKU. Which you can see if you look at her post history. This place has gotten so weird.
I didn't even stay anything to the op. I was responding to rissca.
I didn't even stay anything to the op. I was responding to rissca.
Okay? And I was responding to you...
She was not an active poster on GKU, some posters said they felt like it wasn't the right place to post her BFP. She apologized. What the fuck do you want?
She was not an active poster on GKU, some posters said they felt like it wasn't the right place to post her BFP. She apologized. What the fuck do you want?
You are being strangely hostile. It's always been okay for people to post BFPs in the TWW thread. And she has been participating in GKU. Even within this thread. I just think it's really cliquey and weird to now say that you can't post in the TWW or the main board unless you're "known". But KOKO.
She was not an active poster on GKU, some posters said they felt like it wasn't the right place to post her BFP. She apologized. What the fuck do you want?
You are being strangely hostile. It's always been okay for people to post BFPs in the TWW thread. And she has been participating in GKU. Even within this thread. I just think it's really cliquey and weird to now say that you can't post in the TWW or the main board unless you're "known". But KOKO.
Hostile? Why? Because fuck was in my sentence?
I feel because you "know" her from parenting, it makes it seem like we are being cliquey and weird. But really, she hasn't posted much. Like I said earlier, when you were on this board before your BFP, there would be a bigger flaming. So are we too cliquey or are we big softies. You (General you) seem to go back and forth on that when you want to come in to tell us all the things we are doing wrong on this board.
You are being strangely hostile. It's always been okay for people to post BFPs in the TWW thread. And she has been participating in GKU. Even within this thread. I just think it's really cliquey and weird to now say that you can't post in the TWW or the main board unless you're "known". But KOKO.
Hostile? Why? Because fuck was in my sentence?
I feel because you "know" her from parenting, it makes it seem like we are being cliquey and weird. But really, she hasn't posted much. Like I said earlier, when you were on this board before your BFP, there would be a bigger flaming. So are we too cliquey or are we big softies. You (General you) seem to go back and forth on that when you want to come in to tell us all the things we are doing wrong on this board.
I actually don't "know" her. And, no? As I said, it's always been okay to post BFPs here. The fact is, there just aren't the numbers over here. That changes things. But, sure, keep alienating the few people that do bother to wander over to GKU.
I feel because you "know" her from parenting, it makes it seem like we are being cliquey and weird. But really, she hasn't posted much. Like I said earlier, when you were on this board before your BFP, there would be a bigger flaming. So are we too cliquey or are we big softies. You (General you) seem to go back and forth on that when you want to come in to tell us all the things we are doing wrong on this board.
I actually don't "know" her. And, no? As I said, it's always been okay to post BFPs here. The fact is, there just aren't the numbers over here. That changes things. But, sure, keep alienating the few people that do bother to wander over to GKU.
I'm not alienating anyone. Look at my post history. I've never said one thing to a drive by op. Except on 3t. You're directing your anger at the wrong person.
I actually don't "know" her. And, no? As I said, it's always been okay to post BFPs here. The fact is, there just aren't the numbers over here. That changes things. But, sure, keep alienating the few people that do bother to wander over to GKU.
I'm not alienating anyone. Look at my post history. I've never said one thing to a drive by op. Except on 3t. You're directing your anger at the wrong person.
Sigh. You are not #new. You inserted yourself into the conversation. I responded to what you said. That's how this goes.
I'm not alienating anyone. Look at my post history. I've never said one thing to a drive by op. Except on 3t. You're directing your anger at the wrong person.
Sigh. You are not #new. You inserted yourself into the conversation. I responded to what you said. That's how this goes.
No I am not new. But I'm also not going to let you say that I'm alienating posters. And I'm the farthest from cliquey.
Sigh. You are not #new. You inserted yourself into the conversation. I responded to what you said. That's how this goes.
No I am not new. But I'm also not going to let you say that I'm alienating posters. And I'm the farthest from cliquey.
I may be a little weird.
Okay. For clarity. I meant general you are alienating people. I thought by referencing the board as a whole in the previous sentence that was clear. But the fact is, you can't come in and comment with something along the lines of, "this wouldn't be an issue if she was an active poster" without being lumped in with the people that share that sentiment.
No I am not new. But I'm also not going to let you say that I'm alienating posters. And I'm the farthest from cliquey.
I may be a little weird.
Okay. For clarity. I meant general you are alienating people. I thought by referencing the board as a whole in the previous sentence that was clear. But the fact is, you can't come in and comment with something along the lines of, "this wouldn't be an issue if she was an active poster" without being lumped in with the people that share that sentiment.
What are you even upset about? As long as I have been on ttgp, drive bus have been frowned apon. She only posted like a couple times. She's active in other places, so she could've participated here if she was really interested in getting to know the board. She just wanted the squees.
If you weren't active, you went to your bmb and came back to the grad thread. That's how it's always been. And I answered rissca's post reminding her of how it has always been.
Post by bunnyfungo on Aug 28, 2016 14:44:11 GMT -5
Look, do whatever you want. Comment however you want. And I'll do the same. I just think that when you have only a handful of active posters left on a board that you need to be more inclusive. The definition of "active" has to change. I mean, we just switched to a weekly thread because of low activity. But, I can't dictate how anyone else feels. I just call them like I see them.
Look, do whatever you want. Comment however you want. And I'll do the same. I just think that when you have only a handful of active posters left on a board that you need to be more inclusive. The definition of "active" has to change. I mean, we just switched to a weekly thread because of low activity. But, I can't dictate how anyone else feels. I just call them like I see them.
Yes, there are not a lot of posters here. But if you post once and get a BFP the next day, it's not like you'll stick around. So we are alienating drive bys? Or potential posters who don't feel like they want to be a part of this board, just want the congrats after the BFP? I'm confused.
Besides the OP, who have we been excluding? I see new and posters getting to know each other. This was not the case with op.
Edited to add that I'm very sick and hopped up on meds, so I may be missing your point.
Look, do whatever you want. Comment however you want. And I'll do the same. I just think that when you have only a handful of active posters left on a board that you need to be more inclusive. The definition of "active" has to change. I mean, we just switched to a weekly thread because of low activity. But, I can't dictate how anyone else feels. I just call them like I see them.
Yes, there are not a lot of posters here. But if you post once and get a BFP the next day, it's not like you'll stick around. So we are alienating drive bys? Or potential posters who don't feel like they want to be a part of this board, just want the congrats after the BFP? I'm confused.
Besides the OP, who have we been excluding? I see new and posters getting to know each other. This was not the case with op.
Edited to add that I'm very sick and hopped up on meds, so I may be missing your point.
It's the idea that you (general you) are going to get jumped on if you post a BFP without the requisite number of posts. Or without being "known". I checked her post history. She has posted here quite a few times. For me, this is exactly where her BFP belongs. In the TWW. Not the main board. We can agree to disagree. But maybe people would stick around if there weren't so many rules about what is and isn't okay to post. Just my opinion.
Yes, there are not a lot of posters here. But if you post once and get a BFP the next day, it's not like you'll stick around. So we are alienating drive bys? Or potential posters who don't feel like they want to be a part of this board, just want the congrats after the BFP? I'm confused.
Besides the OP, who have we been excluding? I see new and posters getting to know each other. This was not the case with op.
Edited to add that I'm very sick and hopped up on meds, so I may be missing your point.
It's the idea that you (general you) are going to get jumped on if you post a BFP without the requisite number of posts. Or without being "known". I checked her post history. She has posted here quite a few times. For me, this is exactly where her BFP belongs. In the TWW. Not the main board. We can agree to disagree. But maybe people would stick around if there weren't so many rules about what is and isn't okay to post. Just my opinion.
I was at the grocery store so had to stop posting. But yes, this was the point I was trying to make, as well. Along with the idea that we have a bit of a double standard that's weird to me. But that's neither here no there, I guess.
Post by icaughtfire on Aug 28, 2016 18:07:54 GMT -5
I thought a drive by was a BFP post on the main board from an unknown/still relatively new poster. In which case the general response was always "this should have gone in the TWW thread." Except now it can't go there either?
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Listen, I thought I was going to be participating here way longer and so I intro'd and tried to give some support where I could. I remember ttgp from the dump and I recognize (now too late) how frustrating bfp posts are from newish people and because of that I apologized.
I had hoped to give someone struggling an anecdote maybe, that this could and maybe will happen for you. This was not my first cycle TFAS but my 8th and I explained some of my if history in my op.
Again. Sincere apologies if I offended anyone and I realize this should have gone in TFAS.
I had hoped to give someone struggling an anecdote maybe, that this could and maybe will happen for you. This was not my first cycle TFAS but my 8th and I explained some of my if history in my op.
I haven't been around long enough to know what the accepted definition of a "drive-by" is. I personally would not have announced my pregnancy anywhere on this board after only posting a handful of times but babys2015 apologized and was nice about it and that's all fine with me.
I do think it is interesting that the only people that are speaking out in favor of her or anyone else in her situation announcing on this board (specifically in a TWW thread) are grads/people that don't post on this board regularly (and I apologize if I have this wrong, as I'm not familiar with everyone's history here). And I'm really not trying to polarize, I love when grads/whoever post on this board because I think conversations are generally more fun with more people participating. But when the main theme of the board is for people trying to get pregnant, and those people that are TTGP are offended/hurt/annoyed/whatever by a certain behavior that is specifically related to TTGP, it seems weird for people that are no longer TTGP to say that those people shouldn't feel that way. I understand that you have been active members in the past and that you have all been there and that you are lurking/hanging out here because you care about the board and the people that are still here, but board cultures change along with the people that participate regularly (whether you are new or have been around for a long time, or even if you are a grad) at any given time and I think you have to let that be.
Anyone is obviously free to post their opinions and I am in no way attempting to speak for anyone else on this board. As someone that is relatively new to this board and not familiar with all the history, maybe it is not really my place to comment either. However, I do think I am qualified to say that I don't agree with the idea that this board alienates new members, as I have felt quite welcomed when I started posting here.
I haven't been around long enough to know what the accepted definition of a "drive-by" is. I personally would not have announced my pregnancy anywhere on this board after only posting a handful of times but babys2015 apologized and was nice about it and that's all fine with me.
I do think it is interesting that the only people that are speaking out in favor of her or anyone else in her situation announcing on this board (specifically in a TWW thread) are grads/people that don't post on this board regularly (and I apologize if I have this wrong, as I'm not familiar with everyone's history here). And I'm really not trying to polarize, I love when grads/whoever post on this board because I think conversations are generally more fun with more people participating. But when the main theme of the board is for people trying to get pregnant, and those people that are TTGP are offended/hurt/annoyed/whatever by a certain behavior that is specifically related to TTGP, it seems weird for people that are no longer TTGP to say that those people shouldn't feel that way. I understand that you have been active members in the past and that you have all been there and that you are lurking/hanging out here because you care about the board and the people that are still here, but board cultures change along with the people that participate regularly (whether you are new or have been around for a long time, or even if you are a grad) at any given time and I think you have to let that be.
Anyone is obviously free to post their opinions and I am in no way attempting to speak for anyone else on this board. As someone that is relatively new to this board and not familiar with all the history, maybe it is not really my place to comment either. However, I do think I am qualified to say that I don't agree with the idea that this board alienates new members, as I have felt quite welcomed when I started posting here.
Or maybe some grads are/were planning on coming back here and don't want to come back to a place that turns into you can't post a BFP in a TWW thread. I understand culture changes but this was absolutely an unwarranted side eye, IMO. Opinions differ, as they tend to do. Posters post their differing opinions, and so it goes.
I second what Fire said upthread - any point at which a poster has done a drive by BFP thread on the main board, they've been told it would have been betters suited for the TWW thread. The point of the TWW thread is to *hopefully* see BFPs, FFS.
I get people are frustrated or whatever but the annoyance with this poster's "drive by" is super head scratchy and it's not even like it was one post of annoyance and move on. The poster was new to this board - she, just like anyone else, anticipated she'd be here so she participated as one tends to do. It's not her fault she got KU and wanted to share it with people she thought she'd been supporting/getting support from. Jesus.
My understanding of the situation was that it felt like a drive by because the poster primarily posted in TFAS, not TWW. Just like main board posters may view a TWW reg as a drive by if they don't post on the main board, a TFAS poster may feel like a drive by to TWW regs if said poster doesn't also post regularly in the TWW thread. To me, asking her to keep it to the TFAS thread is similar to asking someone who only posts in the WTO/TWW threads to post a BFP there and not on the main board.
Met in May 2011 Engaged November 2011 Married November 2013 Started TTC November 2015 Began Infertility Workup November 2016 BFP! Lucky #13 Cycle TTC Due Date: 9/5/2017
I feel like this is getting blown out of proportion. The "rule" has always been that pretty much anyone can post a BFP in the TWW thread. Whether they have been posting for 2 days or 2 years, if they want to post their BFP in the TWW, then it should be okay. That is one of the primary reasons for the TWW thread - to share BFPs when they happen. Main board posts have been reserved for regs, but I don't think anyone has been called out before for a BFP in the TWW.
Do I know this poster? No. Do I care that she got a BFP? No. So I don't bother posting "Congrats" and move on. I don't think this warranted a call out.
My understanding of the situation was that it felt like a drive by because the poster primarily posted in TFAS, not TWW. Just like main board posters may view a TWW reg as a drive by if they don't post on the main board, a TFAS poster may feel like a drive by to TWW regs if said poster doesn't also post regularly in the TWW thread. To me, asking her to keep it to the TFAS thread is similar to asking someone who only posts in the WTO/TWW threads to post a BFP there and not on the main board.
I get it. I just think it's stupid. The TWW thread is a thread where people are posting about being in the TWW. The end goal of the TWW is a BFP. BFPs are expected in this thread, from anyone. TWW has never been a thread where you have to post every day of your TWW or else no posting your BFP. It seems way to rule-y and you can't sit with us weird to me.
I'm not a grad and I have no problem with babys2015's post (congrats!). I really don't see how it's different than someone posting their BFP after one month of trying. She's been through some stuff ttc and got excited.
Not saying people can't be annoyed, but I personally don't see the issue.
So come back and participate and change the tone of the board if you want to. We are all free to have and voice our opinions but you can't deny that certain aspects and feelings of this specific board do not apply to those that are not currently TTGP. Several people expressed their opinions, she said she understood and apologized, so clearly it was not completely unwarranted, especially according to some that are TTGP.
There have been plenty of new posters recently that got pregnant very soon after joining, on their first cycle trying even, and I have seen them get plenty of congratulations and well wishes here. I really don't think it is fair to say that the board in general is not welcoming. Either way, you can't attempt to change something you won't be a part of, if you're implying that grads that are TTGP won't return because we're not welcoming.
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