Post by librarychica on Feb 11, 2015 7:26:10 GMT -5
Dear H,
If you want me home early to cover the evenings so you can work with your later-working people then you need to let me leave for work on time. Just a thought. I know we are getting back in the swing of things, but try, please.
Love, I don't want to just ignore you
Dear DDs,
You are awesome. I adore you. You're doubg so well this first week back to our routines.
Dear idiot driving the car pool van- My blinker and the fact that I was slowing SHOULD have been a clue that I was planning on turning left onto your street. Pay attention next time! Or, hey, here's a concept - wait until cars have actually completely passed you before trying to turn.
No love, The chick you nearly wiped out this morning.
Dear tea Please have more caffeine in this second cup love, Momma who needed just one more hour
I'm sorry that you are sick today but you are not a cuddler and won't usually stay on my lap for more than 5 seconds so I appreciate the 30 minute snuggle session we had this morning. It was definitely worth being late to work for.
P.S. - thank you DH for staying home today so I can work.
Post by erinshelley21 on Feb 11, 2015 9:10:45 GMT -5
Dear House, Please clean yourself. We have friends coming over for dinner tomorrow and there is stuff EVERYWHERE. Crumbs, toys, dog hair, socks, more toys. Dust and sweep yourself today. Sincerely, I need a cleaning lady.
Dear cough, Please leave. I'd love to sleep tonight. You kicked Nyquils ass last night and I'm not sure how I'm going to defend myself against you tonight. This should be interesting. Sincerely, tired of hacking.
Can it with super noisily eating bags of chips every two hours. I can't hear myself think between that, your loud belching, your endlessly talking to yourself, your wife's hourly phone calls, and your overly dramatic sneezing that the whole damn floor can hear.
Can it with super noisily eating bags of chips every two hours. I can't hear myself think between that, your loud belching, your endlessly talking to yourself, your wife's hourly phone calls, and your overly dramatic sneezing that the whole damn floor can hear.
Signed, Tired of reaching for the ear buds
Ugh, we used to have a guy like that in our dept. He would also clip his nails at his desk. Gross!
Dear DC kids,
Please stop getting DD sick. This is the 3rd illness she's had since she started at the beginning of January. I can't keep taking days off of work to nurse her back to health.
Sincerely, The new mom
Dear DH,
Please stop snoring at night and flopping like a fish out of water. I need sleep!
Post by xanthepants on Feb 11, 2015 9:53:01 GMT -5
Dear Butt and all other connected body parts- Stop getting bigger! It's not as exciting for me to become a "big girl" like it is for LO. What happened to the downward trend we were working on PP? It's like you decided you wanted to be back at my largest pregnancy weight and are making your way there. This Menopause thing can really suck it. Pretty soon my daily allowance is going to be a lemon wedge and some iceberg lettuce to try and keep my weight in check.
While I appreciate you giving me the material to write my own sitcom, The Office is already over. I'm glad you're going to on vacation for Chinese New Year and optimistic I'll be able to quit prior to your return.
Why can't you stay hot for three hours. Yes, it takes me three hours to drink one cup. That's just how I roll. But I just wish I could drink really hot coffee really slowly.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Feb 11, 2015 10:03:38 GMT -5
Dear DH, Thank you for getting up with DD last night. I was SO tired. Signed, Your wife who knows you're probably mad and also knows she owes you.
Dear DS, OMG THANK YOU for starting to adjust to your new class. Now stop whining about every. little. thing. at dinner. My ears are bleeding. Signed, Your mom who knows it's always something
Dear Self, Dayquil Lies. It is not nondrowsy cold medication. Do not take anymore or you will pass out on your computer. Signed, Sleepy Self.
Dear Best Buy, I love you! Signed, Happy new fridge owner.
Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 11, 2015 10:25:53 GMT -5
Dear coworker, I understand you want to work Sundays so you get the extra pay, but that's not what you bid for when our work unit started. So by filing your grievance, you fucked me by creating extra overtime for me and you still don't get to work Sundays. Nor overtime. Signed, Pissed off coworker
Post by lingeringwithcoffee on Feb 11, 2015 10:29:42 GMT -5
Dear DD,
Your dad loves you just as much as I do, and is completely capable of comforting you when you need it. Please don't freak out every time I leave the room.
I'm sorry you could not find your pacifier last night and it woke you up. But that does not mean you need to come sleep with Mommy and Daddy. You are 9 month old and can still take up an entire King size bed. How do you do that??? It's like you bend the time/space continuum.
Still love you, Exhausted Mommy with a crick in her whole body
Dear Nose:
Admins in other buildings have started handing me tissues before I even ask. Proud of yourself? Stop dripping already.
Don't love ou but you are on my face, The lady who can't escape you
Please stop bickering back and forth over the dumbest things. Example: DD2: Lets go to the store. DD1: No lets go to Fred Myer (a store). DD2: No, no the STORE. DD1: Fred Myer.
Post by RiseAndWine on Feb 11, 2015 11:21:40 GMT -5
Dear Sister,
I think you are being really selfish. You asked our mother to babysit your kids so you can go out overnight on valentines day. Here are the reasons you suck:
#1. Our mom is trying to pack and get ready to move. She asked for your help packing that weekend and you told her you were too busy and couldn't help. Then you have the nerve to ask her in the SAME conversation to watch her kids overnight so you can go out.
#2. You don't even like your boyfriend! You tell me every day why you shouldn't be with him and that he loves you more than you love him and that you're only with him because he can take care of you financially.
#3. Your son is 14 and can stay home with your 8 year old daughter. You don't need to go overnight you can go out for the evening and let him babysit.
#4. DH and I have been out 3 times in the entire 21 months of DS's life. All three times it has been to a 2 or 3 hour dinner night out. We have never left him overnight. We are legitimately married and deserve to have one night out, but now our mom is watching your kids. I didn't even ask her because I was being considerate of her time as she is trying to get ready to move. But nevermind you swooping right in. So we will just sit here and celebrate valentine's day at home, as per usual.
In summary, you suck, you suck, you suck. How are we even related?!
I'm new to this group and can relate to most of you. I have a 7 month old daughter. I work for the state government and actually like my job but not all of my coworkers.
Sincerely, Kam3100
Dear daughter, I know you had your flu shot and are getting a new tooth and I feel really bad for you, but nursing every hour and screaming when you don't have boob in your mouth has exhausted me. I need some sleep pretty please.
Dear DD Please eat with daddy. I find it very generous of you to refuse to eat until I get home so you can eat with me and talk with me at the table but it is pushing bedtime back to the point where you are overtired. Plus you still have to shower at some point. Mommy who is missing you
Dear DD Great job writing. I was so excited when you asked me to make you practice sheets to do at school today last night at the table. Maybe it will get your half ass teacher to teach instead of just babysit. Proud Mommy who is frustrated with your current teacher
Dear DS YOU ARE AWESOME. I am so glad that you embraced the structure provided by your OK to Wake Owl. It would be great if you can reset your internal clock, too, but I will take hearing that thing tell you to go back to sleep every morning at 4:57 instead of either getting up with you or listening to you scream. Bonus points for adorably telling us what a good job you do "sleeping in like a big boy" every morning. Love, Mommy who much prefers getting out of bed at 6:15
Dear work, Remember how I have 2 kids at home? And how I have explicitly said that DH is not home any night this week? That means that when you suggest a meeting for 5 PM, 7 PM, and 8 PM I'm not going to be happy or in attendance. Especially since I'm leaving on a 6 AM flight for a work trip that popped up with less than a week's notice. Signed, Those pictures on my desk are real kids, not stock photos!
I love that you're sleeping 7-9 hours a night in your crib at 8 weeks! Now if I could just have any clue as to when or for how long you were going to nap during the day we'd be perfect.
Love, Mommy
Dear Husband,
When I make dinner and you decide you will wait until the girls are in bed to eat that's fine. But it means that you need to put away the food I left out for you before you go to bed. Leaving the leftovers out all night is gross, wasteful, and when the cats inevitably taste the people food it makes them barf.
Love from your wife who doesn't get good you can be such a neat freak and then do this.
Post by ladylonghorn on Feb 11, 2015 15:37:59 GMT -5
Dear "M" (former nanny of ours who's returned to help us out):
I'm thankful you were willing to come and help us out for a month during this time of transition, however for the love of all that is holy, if you can't remember something....WRITE IT DOWN!
I have now made a daily calendar for you to take home AND put on my fridge of all the various child pick up times and what time you need to show up to work and when you are off. Please make sure you look at it daily and more than just once per day.
Signed, Remembering why I didn't bring you back after mat leave with #3
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