It has come to my attention that I am unsupportive. So I just want to take a moment to explain myself. Due to the nature of my niece's death, I struggle reading about other young kids being ill and dying. I won't bore you with the details, but I slipped into depression when my niece died, and couldn't manage to get dressed, leave the house (aside from the funeral), or go to work, until DS was born. So when I know there is a post of a sick child or I see "trigger warning" I don't open the thread/scroll past the post without reading.
I'm selfishly doing this to protect my own mental health, so that I may not slip back into depression. I've essentially been told that I need to get over it because kids get sick and that's the nature of life. But I need to be mentally healthy for my family. If anyone views that as me being unsupportive or a bad person, then so be it. I don't need hair pats, I just wanted to explain myself.
Post by creepyeyeball on Sept 6, 2016 8:22:36 GMT -5
People are crazy. Take care of you. It's an Internet message board, so if things you read here affect your real life, you definitely should avoid them.
You've always been extremely supportive of our board. I'm sorry for your pain and loss. Release the negativity and forget about the haters.
I'm sorry you feel like you have to explain yourself. You are a valuable member of this community and I would hate for this to affect your participation here.
You don't have to answer, but I'm curious if this is something that came up on another board or privately or did I miss something? Again, I'm sorry you feel this way.
I received multiple PMs from the same person. So I wanted to explain myself in case anyone else felt the same way.
However, at this point the messages have become more of a harrassment, so I think this person was looking for drama where there was none. I've requested them to stop messaging me.
Ok well since buttercup outed herself, I will explain further. I had PMed her right after her son's diagnosis to let her know how sorry I was. I then explained to her why she wouldn't be seeing any further responses from me, rather than letting her think I was ignoring it just to be vindictive after she called me a bitch.
Oh boy. Did this have to brought public to the board? I honestly feel bad for both sides and I don't think we as a board need to pick sides without knowing the whole story. This seems like a private matter and should be handled as such, whether it be further messaging or ignoring messages and moving on. Just my opinion of course.
Oh boy. Did this have to brought public to the board? I honestly feel bad for both sides and I don't think we as a board need to pick sides without knowing the whole story. This seems like a private matter and should be handled as such, whether it be further messaging or ignoring messages and moving on. Just my opinion of course.
I wasn't asking anyone to pick sides. Multiple people here have kids with health issues, and have posted things with trigger warnings, none of which I have read/responded to. One person let me know it was crummy, so I wanted to explain myself in case others felt the same about how I never respond.
Oh boy. Did this have to brought public to the board? I honestly feel bad for both sides and I don't think we as a board need to pick sides without knowing the whole story. This seems like a private matter and should be handled as such, whether it be further messaging or ignoring messages and moving on. Just my opinion of course.
I wasn't asking anyone to pick sides. Multiple people here have kids with health issues, and have posted things with trigger warnings, none of which I have read/responded to. One person let me know it was crummy, so I wanted to explain myself in case others felt the same about how I never respond.
I didn't mean to imply you were asking people to pick sides, I just see that is the way things are headed.
I wasn't asking anyone to pick sides. Multiple people here have kids with health issues, and have posted things with trigger warnings, none of which I have read/responded to. One person let me know it was crummy, so I wanted to explain myself in case others felt the same about how I never respond.
That's fine for you to do, but really think about how that comes across when you actually tell someone that you are doing that.
Okay buttercup, I guess I now know that rather than explaining myself to you to try to avoid hurting your feelings, I shouldn't have said anything and just let you assume I was unresponsive about your son just to be vindictive after you called me a bitch. So I am sorry that I hurt your feelings.
No one should have to explain why they don't respond to a post that had a trigger or trigger warning. That's what they're there for - so people can choose to ignore. I think that jags went out of her way to make sure that buttercup knew that she was sorry about the situation but was going to ignore the posts about S's illness because it was a trigger. That should've been respected and the matter not brought up again. I don't like that jags felt that she had to bring this to the board for us to all get into. Buttercup, I think we have been pretty supportive to you as a board in general. I can't imagine the stress and worry that you deal with in a daily basis. That has got to be so hard on you and this is a place where you can vent. I hope you feel comfortable continuing to post updates because I am following your journey and praying for complete remission. I don't think that anyone should be made to feel badly about not responding. That's her choice. Can we just move on, please?
jags8 you absolutely do not need to explain yourself. People are allowed to comment on or ignore anything they want on a public forum. The fact that you were pm'd and called a bitch for not being supportive is fucking childish and rude. I'll see myself out now because wtf.
I guess I don't get the PM of ''Sorry for your situation, but I won't be responding because..." in the first place.
If you don't want to read about things, then don't. It seems odd to me to call attention to it. I'm sure no one ever sits around saying, 'hmm, I wonder why oreille didn't respond to this.'
I guess I don't get the PM of ''Sorry for your situation, but I won't be responding because..." in the first place.
If you don't want to read about things, then don't. It seems odd to me to call attention to it. I'm sure no one ever sits around saying, 'hmm, I wonder why oreille didn't respond to this.'
I've explained multiple times. I didn't want buttercup thinking it was me being an ass hole just because she called me a bitch. Sorry for thinking it was the right thing to do. I now know I should have just left it alone. Again, I apologize for doing what I thought was the right thing.
We've all known each other on here long enough that if we want to PM someone because they said something we found hurtful, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think that's a pretty fucking grown up way to handle conflict on a message board. PRIVATELY. It's personally how I choose to conduct most of my conflict on this board, out of respect for the other women here and for the sake of not turning a 1:1 disagreement into board-wide discord. And if you decide you are done with another person based on your private conversation, you can tell them that personally, in your private conversation. That's also a grown up way to behave when you have hit your limit with a person.
I am not here for dragging a personal issue between two posters out for the entire board to weigh in on and choose sides. That is immature and shit-stirring BS. And I'm pretty disappointed in the people who have not only come out swinging at buttercup for trying to privately address something she found hurtful, which is how adults should behave, but have actually defended jags8's petty behavior of pulling the entire board into a disagreement between two people. This is childish behavior more befitting middle school mean girls, not grown ass women. I am just...WTAF at all of this.
Petty behavior? I didn't bring any names into this. Buttercup thought that what I did was shitty, so perhaps other people were taking notice and thought I was being shitty too. So I wanted to explain myself. This was not intended to be "shit-stirring." It was me explaining my lack of responsiveness to anyone discussing a sick child. I didn't pull anyone into forcing sides. buttercup did when she decided to announce that she was the one who messaged me.
Post by creepyeyeball on Sept 9, 2016 18:58:58 GMT -5
FWIW, when jags started this post I just assumed it was drama from another board. I never assumed it was a poster here. I think a lot of the ladies who offered hair pats initially were under that assumption. Then it felt super awkward to find out it was another of "our" people.
FWIW, when jags started this post I just assumed it was drama from another board. I never assumed it was a poster here. I think a lot of the ladies who offered hair pats initially were under that assumption. Then it felt super awkward to find out it was another of "our" people.
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