Post by beenandgone on Sept 25, 2016 15:43:21 GMT -5
It seems like all my children have that one friend that drives me batty. Unfortunately for me, the most annoying one of them all lives just a few doors down from us. I seriously can only handle a limited number of hours a week with this child because she makes me want to scream. Even worse, DD1 turns into a bossy, mean, snotty child every time she spends more than 10 minutes with this child. Instead of playing nice with the little children, or just playing around them (i don't insist they play TOGETHER, but we have a tiny house with only one play room space), the older girls get rude and obnoxious and try to kick the preschoolers out of the playroom/backyard/play house/wherever they currently want to be. If any of the littles so much as looks at them, I hear yelling and screaming.
Depends on the age. If they are getting to annoying, and they are old enough they walked to my house, I send them home. If it is a play date where the parent dropped them off I try to redirect them, or get them started on something. It can be hard and frustrating at times. I hope my kids are never the annoying ones, but who knows. I tell them to do what the mom says, never go in a parents room, and don't ask for food. I say this is the way to a friend's mom's heart, and if you do that you will always be welcomed back
Post by expatmama on Sept 27, 2016 14:38:18 GMT -5
I've posted here before about my struggles with one our neighbors and how I have struggled a lot with her. We worked a lot on that relationship because she lives so close and is so close to DS1's age I thought it would be useful.
I can honestly say now that I really love this kid. And have built up a stronger friendship with her mom. But it took a lot of work and it is still a struggle. She has a diagnosis and she doesn't do well with social cues, so she sometimes gets 'stuck' and can lash out, but we now have a system in place where I contact her mom at a certain point of escalation so we can control things and she comes over immediately.
It's been working well, and I have seen how her Mom has struggled with some of these things, so I'm glad I can be there. But I had to make a conscious choice to take this approach, and at times I really just wanted to say 'no, we won't play anymore' but I'm glad I didn't.
Post by brachysira on Sept 27, 2016 21:13:37 GMT -5
I feel like big girls do deserve some time to play without little ones. Can you say, "big sis has a friend over so they are going to be in the backyard and we are going to give them big girls space for a little while?" Then also tell big sis that you're keeping the littles inside for an hour, but that they are her siblings and she needs to show her friend how to treat them nicely when everyone is around, or friend won't be able to come over any more.
Is friend's house safe? Can you send them there? Say, if you don't want to play with 3 tots, then go to friend's house?
Is it possible for you to tell friend, "the little ones have to take a nap now so our house is going quiet time and friends have to go? Or, we're going to library storytime, so playtime at our house is over?"
I feel like big girls do deserve some time to play without little ones. Can you say, "big sis has a friend over so they are going to be in the backyard and we are going to give them big girls space for a little while?" Then also tell big sis that you're keeping the littles inside for an hour, but that they are her siblings and she needs to show her friend how to treat them nicely when everyone is around, or friend won't be able to come over any more.
Is friend's house safe? Can you send them there? Say, if you don't want to play with 3 tots, then go to friend's house?
Is it possible for you to tell friend, "the little ones have to take a nap now so our house is going quiet time and friends have to go? Or, we're going to library storytime, so playtime at our house is over?"
Like I said, I don't insist they play WITH the littles, but we only have one playroom, and all the toys are in there. :/ In our tiny house, with all these people, I simply cannot handle toys strewn in every single room. The big girls are the biggest mess makes, too.
I do let DD1 play over there occasionally, but they smoke heavily, and one parent (forgot which one) refuses to smoke outside. Every time DD1 plays at their house, she gets crazy sick from the smoke. It's just frustrating.
The situation just annoys me as a whole. The other child's mother is incapable of making plans in advance, which drives me bonkers from anyone. Even more, she is always trying to send the other child over to me (I'm sure greatly in part to DD1 getting sick, but still, don't just assume I have no other plans and want to watch your kid all freaking afternoon, every day...) It has reached a point where I'm almost afraid to go in my front yard, check my mail, or even take out the trash because this mom will start hounding me on Facebook to let her dd come play. HER DD'S school has adopted the no homework policy, but my DD1's school has not-which the mom doesn't seem to grasp. DD1 goes to private school, neighbor child goes to a public school in a different district that her mom drives to daily.
Post by beenandgone on Sept 28, 2016 4:04:21 GMT -5
I think I need to start with more conversations with the mom about what works with our schedule. I just can't have her hounding me all the time. Maybe that will help alleviate some of the issues.
Any recommendations on how to manage the annoyance while the child is here? The other child is very much the baby of the family, and every whim is catered to at the dip of a hat. Her siblings are SIGNIFICANTLY older (20+ years), so she doesn't seem to comprehend that DD1, as my oldest, can't help the littles following and wanting to play, too.
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