Post by somebabiesmom on Feb 12, 2015 14:56:09 GMT -5
My DH never loses his keys. He does, however, lose mine. For some reason his keys go in the dish, but when he uses mine they stay in whatever pants or jacket he was wearing.
My DH never loses his keys. He does, however, lose mine. For some reason his keys go in the dish, but when he uses mine they stay in whatever pants or jacket he was wearing.
Totally this. Whenever he's taken my car somewhere on Sunday and I can't find my keys Monday morning 99% of the time they are in his jacket pocket. I know he's going to leave for work one day with my keys in his pocket, thankfully he does drop off most days and we leave around the same time.
Post by anewadventure on Feb 12, 2015 16:23:28 GMT -5
continuing the theme of H's never knowing where things belong in the house...i specifically have this issue in the kitchen and pantry.
we have lived in our current house for 5 years. the organization has been the same since DAY ONE. everything has a place. except apparently what i think a place is and what he thinks a place is for the same item is...not the same. drives me BATSHIT.
Post by anewadventure on Feb 12, 2015 16:27:31 GMT -5
tas1883 omg golf. luckily my H agrees with me on the topic, i feel for you. he likes to play golf, and played regularly when he was single in college. i come from a golfing family, so he kind of feels bad that he is the worst player when he plays with my dad / brother / uncle.
however. golf is a hobby for rich people and or people with lots of free time. the clubs, the shoes, the fees for playing every stinkin' round, driving ranges, whatever. if it was expense alone, we could negotiate a reasonable compromise. but golf is just so damn time consuming! there is no quick round of golf. when our free time is so limited, him disappearing for basically an entire day or weekend to play is not good for anyone.
i guess my relationship with H and with spending is different but i would be enraged if my H went out and spent all that money and time on a new hobby without discussing it with me or making sure it was ok for us as a couple / family. i understand wanting to have hobbies but that doesn't give you free reign to do whatever you want regardless of consequences. ack.
I love my DH, I really do, and usually he is amazing. However, it's hard to get him to do anything around the house. Yes, I know he works long hours. But I also work and it's like he forgets that. His commute may be an hour each way while mine is 20 minutes each way, but that doesn't mean that I should then be responsible for 85% of the work around the house.
If I ask him to take out the recycling for the next day (they come really, really early and DH is not a morning person), he says he'll do it in the morning. I'm sure you can guess how that goes. Our water filter in the fridge has needed to be replaced for a month. I've been assured that'll happen this weekend. We'll see.
I was also rushing around last night picking crap up because I have cleaners tomorrow. DH sits on the couch playing on his ipad the entire time. When he gets home from work, he spends the whole night relaxing. I'm happy if I can get 30 minutes to myself. It's like he has no concept of what needs to be done and I feel like I shouldn't have to constantly point it out.
I DO have to give H props for stepping up when I ask and when I'm not around. He dresses the girls, gives them breakfast and gets them to daycare each morning. DD1 and I pick out clothes the night before and we are REALLY routine about mornings. If a crazy show goes on in the house after I leave for work, there's no evidence of it by the time I get home.
Still, when I'm around, it's, like, he becomes clueless sometimes. Especially, *especially* if the TV is on or he's in front of the computer. I wish I could tune things out the way he does.
This all sounds really familiar, and I feel like a jerk because H has been AMAZING this week with our sick LO, but....
Why am I in charge of the location of every item in our house? Do you not know where we keep literally anything. I don't move it around or try to be tricky.
That's me. Feeling awful for criticizing a wonderful husband, but I hate helping him find his things. It's to the point where I have to take a deep breath and count to 10 before responding to the "Do you know where my........?" questions some times.
I'm sure he hates how stressed out I get. Eye for eye...
I'm a little late to the party but my favorite is whe. DH asks how many crackers we have left if he's making the grocery list. He'll be like "how many eggs are in there?" As if I've memorized the entire contents of the fridge and pantry.
H gets mad I don't ask for help. Fine, while I'm feeding E, I tell him things he could be doing (walk the dog, feed the dog, wash bottles, make bottles, makes your sandwiches, etc). Now he's mad I'm barking out orders... Sorry I didn't fall at your feet with appreciation.
This weekend I'm getting a white board and putting everything that needs to be done every night, so I can just direct him to that... Because he can't remember. Fingers crossed it helps.
When my kids were that young, I did have a big sheet that listed daily chores for DH on the fridge. It actually was a huge help.
mana8503, I've tried the white board and it was a giant fail. Worked great for 2 days and then he just stopped looking at it. I get the you don't ask for help but then when I do I get the grumpy teenager response of "do I have to" it drives me crazy.
My SOS today is golf. H has gotten back into golf in the last year via a friend. He has bought new clubs, bag, membership for handicap, etc and now wants to play tournaments with said friend. Great but when I told him we need to sit down and make a golf budget and a golf time budget he throws a fit. He wants to go and play when he wants to and doesn't care how it affects me or DD the "he never gets to do stuff for himself" deal. First tournament is the weekend after tax deadline for 3 days and he wants me to go with. I told him no he could go alone as I needed to recoup plus there is no way in hell DD and I are following him around the golf course for 3 days. I don't care that he wants to play I just want a nice compromise on how often and cost. Money doesn't grow on trees and golf is expensive!
We had this for a while, except my hubs would race quads and want us all to go. He did it before the kids were born every weekend over the summer and wanted to keep up that same schedule. We had NUMEROUS discussions about it, and I tried to accomplish the exact same thing - a time/money budget and have him understand that it wasn't awesome for me to chase our son around and be on duty all day while he raced. It took a bit, but eventually he realized things had changed and we've finally got it settled. I hope you are able to have him see it from your side soon!
My DH has been a dream lately. Honestly, he turned a corner a while back and life changed so much for the good.
Having said that, the other day we agreed to trade off with the kids (they're on school break). I took them from the time they got up (7:30ish) to about 1:45. I took them skating, took care of breakfast and lunch and he was able to sleep in, exercise and chill out.
When we were at the 'switch' point, he dawdled for 2 hours and suggested that I *might* like to sit at the Laundromat with a big load of his stuff so it could go through a drier cycle (we air dry everything here, he wanted to shrink/tighten up some items).
Dude. You've had all morning off, you've gone on to stall getting out and away so I can be ALONE for a little while and your unsolicited suggestion that I do YOUR LAUNDRY for my quiet time while you take the kids to the pool ain't cool.
ETA: my husband and I both basically gave up golf when the kids were born. We used to golf all.the.time. It's just not reasonable to assign 5+ hours for a round of golf on the weekend. Not for me, not for him. Clubs gather dust right now. Not forever, just for now.
Another from the wedding... DH, I know it is not awesome that we spent your birthday traveling to this wedding. That's not fun. But we are celebrating your birthday next Friday with friends. There is a plan. You won't be ignored. This is no excuse to whine "pretty crappy birthday" about EVERYTHING. sorry you didn't want to eat dinner with my parents or entertain our kid and wanted to spend the evening in the hotel bar bemoaning your horrible fate. Suck it up.
Remember what we did for my birthday this year? No? That's cause it was a Tuesday and we did nothing.
Another from the wedding... DH, I know it is not awesome that we spent your birthday traveling to this wedding. That's not fun. But we are celebrating your birthday next Friday with friends. There is a plan. You won't be ignored. This is no excuse to whine "pretty crappy birthday" about EVERYTHING. sorry you didn't want to eat dinner with my parents or entertain our kid and wanted to spend the evening in the hotel bar bemoaning your horrible fate. Suck it up.
Remember what we did for my birthday this year? No? That's cause it was a Tuesday and we did nothing.
OMG this is my DH. What is it about their birthdays?? He starts talking about it at least a month before and has to be completely blown away by whaterver we do, plus there better be a damn good present too, or he will complain for 2 months until chistmas.
Meanwhile, my birthday that falls in the middle of the summer...Yeah we have spent my birthday "weekend" at HIS family reunion for 7 out of 9 years that we have been together. Which he somehow thinks is perfectly fine, because we couldn't ever miss the reunion OR request that they move it to an alternate weekend.
continuing the theme of H's never knowing where things belong in the house...i specifically have this issue in the kitchen and pantry.
we have lived in our current house for 5 years. the organization has been the same since DAY ONE. everything has a place. except apparently what i think a place is and what he thinks a place is for the same item is...not the same. drives me BATSHIT.
This! He always put the cookie sheets, crock pot and mixing bowls in a cabinet where they don't belong. Soup, baking supplies, grains and snacks were always in the wrong place in the pantry.
So I cleverly relocated everything to where he was consistently putting them. Genius right? Nope. He then put them in different wrong locations. Can't win.
H gets mad I don't ask for help. Fine, while I'm feeding E, I tell him things he could be doing (walk the dog, feed the dog, wash bottles, make bottles, makes your sandwiches, etc). Now he's mad I'm barking out orders... Sorry I didn't fall at your feet with appreciation.
This weekend I'm getting a white board and putting everything that needs to be done every night, so I can just direct him to that... Because he can't remember. Fingers crossed it helps.
This is our method for communicating about dinner. I write up a weekly schedule on the white board every weekend. Every night MH still asks me what we're having for dinner. Every. Night. Check the board!
We have this issue too! I put it on the board and he still asks. The one week I forgot, he got all pissy about it.
i guess my relationship with H and with spending is different but i would be enraged if my H went out and spent all that money and time on a new hobby without discussing it with me or making sure it was ok for us as a couple / family. i understand wanting to have hobbies but that doesn't give you free reign to do whatever you want regardless of consequences. ack.
Oh no, I was pissed! He did it over time so it didn't seem like a lot plus he used his bonus from work for most of it. Actually all of his hobbies are expensive and time consuming. He has hunting, fishing (dawn to dusk style), ATV riding, archery, golf, woodworking, and kayaking. I put my foot down when DD was born and said he could go but I wasn't taking DD out to watch him do any of it anymore. So he stopped all of them. The only thing we really have done since DD has been born is kayak and she loves it so win-win we just do it on her time schedule and not all day adventures. I guess if he would just compromise I wouldn't be so annoyed. Truthfully if he wants to play once a week after work at one of the cheaper short courses in town and one Saturday a month at an bigger/nicer course I wouldn't care but that suggestion was like I was saying NO to all of it.
sugarcraze...how long did it take your H to come around? We just started this argument late last summer.
continuing the theme of H's never knowing where things belong in the house...i specifically have this issue in the kitchen and pantry.
we have lived in our current house for 5 years. the organization has been the same since DAY ONE. everything has a place. except apparently what i think a place is and what he thinks a place is for the same item is...not the same. drives me BATSHIT.
This! He always put the cookie sheets, crock pot and mixing bowls in a cabinet where they don't belong. Soup, baking supplies, grains and snacks were always in the wrong place in the pantry.
So I cleverly relocated everything to where he was consistently putting them. Genius right? Nope. He then put them in different wrong locations. Can't win.
I literally have baskets with labels like "Crackers" "Canned Food" etc on then in our pantry. DH STILL ASKS where stuff is or puts things away wrong.
Post by sugarcraze on Feb 13, 2015 21:31:00 GMT -5
tas1883, I would say at bit. I didn't push too hard on the beginning because I know how much he loves it. I think the next season is when I really started having more to say. But, once I made it known that it was too much (time & money), he came around. If I had really made an issue the first summer, I think it would've been way shorter. The thing that really pushed me, was having #2 on the way.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.