Do you go to bed at the same time?

[mrsmonogrammed]

Do you and SO go to bed at the same time as each other?

[mrsmonogrammed]

Weeknights- no. I'm usually in bed and asleep before DH comes up from unwinding in his man cave.

Weekends I stay up later and we usually go up to bed together. I'm almost always the one who's actually asleep first.

I tend to wake up earlier on the weekdays and he is up earlier on weekends. We are weird, I think.

[dmoney]

Nope. I usually am upstairs getting things done by 8:30 and unwind watching tv in bed. He is in the basement/man cave. He usually comes up around 11ish. On the weekends I usually go to bed by like 11 and he is up until about 1

[sugarkissed]

Usually when he's home we do, or I go to bed a bit earlier.

When he's working away he is in bed super early because he has to work at 5 am.

[alayne926]

Sometimes...Lately he's been working on his motorcycle in the garage, and I'm not waiting for him to be done tinkering to come to bed. Weekends we usually go to bed at the same time.

[musicfrk2002]

No he goes to bed before I do. There's nights I'm not even home from work when he goes to bed, and weekends he still goes to bed earlier than I do.

[sabrinaml]

We always go up to bed at the same time. One of us may stay up later reading or messing around on our phone though.

[silv3rlining]

Ideally yes, but most nights no. Usually DH stays up later.

[mrsmonogrammed]

Oct 25, 2016 8:36:22 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

We always always always go to bed at the same time.

Interesting- I brought up the topic because I read an article about it being helpful for a relationship to have both partners go to bed together, even if one leaves after the 1st falls asleep (if they aren't on the same schedule). Do you think going to bed at the same time influences your relationship?

[mrsmonogrammed]

Kristykristyleelee I like the thought of that system. You and DW might be on to something:P

And you too @jemomma & sabrinaml!

[jessila]

We used to go to bed at the same time when we had to get up near the same time. Whenever we're on vacation we always go to bed at the same time and it makes me miss it. But he doesn't have to be into work until 2-3 hours after me so he comes to bed later and sleeps later. It works for us.

[tiffbot]

We almost always go to bed at the same time.

[veggiemo]

I voted yes, but some nights there is a 10-15 minute delay. I am usually in bed first and H has a little routine that lasts anywhere from 5-15 minutes (picking up the living room, getting his clothes set out for the next day, things like that) so sometimes I'm already passed out by the time he gets in bed, sometimes not.

We go to bed around 12:30 and 1:00am each night.

[mrsmonogrammed]

Oct 25, 2016 9:58:13 GMT -5 @scoop said:

Oct 25, 2016 9:47:50 GMT -5 mrsmonogrammed said:

Interesting- I brought up the topic because I read an article about it being helpful for a relationship to have both partners go to bed together, even if one leaves after the 1st falls asleep (if they aren't on the same schedule). Do you think going to bed at the same time influences your relationship?

I think it's very situational. In my case, DH works a stressful job and sometimes long days and 3 nights a week he solo parents through bedtime. So I get that he needs alone time to decompress and often that happens best after I go to bed. It took me a really long time to fully understand and accept it but it's what works best for us.

Now if he was staying up late enough to interfere with his ability to be an adult and a participating member of the relationship and family that would be a different issue.

I definitely see your point. I also find myself craving alone time just to have my own space (aka not be touched or needed) sometimes!

[mrsmonogrammed]

Oct 25, 2016 10:09:04 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

I voted yes, but some nights there is a 10-15 minute delay. I am usually in bed first and H has a little routine that lasts anywhere from 5-15 minutes (picking up the living room, getting his clothes set out for the next day, things like that) so sometimes I'm already passed out by the time he gets in bed, sometimes not.

We go to bed around 12:30 and 1:00am each night.

I love your DH's routine but my mind is blown about going to sleep so late! What time do you wake up in the morning?

[veggiemo]

I am reading some of the other responses now, about unwinding time. I feel like that's mine and H's couch time. After both kids are asleep, we crack a beer and watch trashy reality TV. There is a of talking going on during this time, ranging from the day in general or even about what dream vacation we want to take some day.

We do that 5 days a week. Then H gets one day out with friends and I get one day out with friends a week. We deviate from that some weeks, depending on our schedules/friend's schedules, but in general that's how each week goes. (I know I got off topic a little but I thought it was somewhat relevant to add to the discussion).

[veggiemo]

Oct 25, 2016 10:11:53 GMT -5 mrsmonogrammed said:

Oct 25, 2016 10:09:04 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

I voted yes, but some nights there is a 10-15 minute delay. I am usually in bed first and H has a little routine that lasts anywhere from 5-15 minutes (picking up the living room, getting his clothes set out for the next day, things like that) so sometimes I'm already passed out by the time he gets in bed, sometimes not.

We go to bed around 12:30 and 1:00am each night.

I love your DH's routine but my mind is blown about going to sleep so late! What time do you wake up in the morning?

I don't work until 10am, so me and the kids sleep until 8.

H has a different wake-up time everyday. Some days he's up and out by 6:30am and other days he can sleep as late as the kids will allow him to. 

[tiffbot]

lol, apparently I needed to post that twice, ignore

[belle0720]

One of us definitely usually falls asleep before the other but when one of us goes to lay down the other usually follows behind shortly thereafter.

[erbear]

Almost always.

[ashbash]

Always. Its a good connecting time for us to talk and relax. And Im needy and cant fall asleep without him

[mrsdee1982]

I wish we could, but it literally never happens. DH is usually at work until 1am-2:30am and I have to get up for work at 5am, so yeah no.

[jillywilly]

We almost always do. It's funny we literally just had this conversation last night while watching a movie that H was into, I wasn't:

Me: I'm going to go upstairs. I'm sick of my phone, so I'm going to watch HGTV in bed.
H: But I don't want to watch HGTV.
Me: So don't. Stay down here.
H: But I like being with you.

It's sweet, and I do enjoy our conversations we have before falling asleep, I just think that after dealing with a clingy toddler lately, I've been craving some alone time. I need to figure out some kind of balance there. But I do generally like that we always go to bed together, even though I almost always fall asleep before H. He'll normally keep watching TV in bed, or play some game on his phone, or occasionally if he's having major problems falling asleep he'll go back downstairs and play video games.

[silv3rlining]

Oct 25, 2016 9:47:50 GMT -5 mrsmonogrammed said:

Oct 25, 2016 8:36:22 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

We always always always go to bed at the same time.

Interesting- I brought up the topic because I read an article about it being helpful for a relationship to have both partners go to bed together, even if one leaves after the 1st falls asleep (if they aren't on the same schedule). Do you think going to bed at the same time influences your relationship?

I once heard a sermon that stressed the importance of going to bed at the same time for healthy relationships

[heartofglass]

Pre-baby and before we quit our jobs and moved we went to bed at the same time job allowing. H worked swing shifts for a while.

Now we do occasionally. H likes staying up until 2-3am working in the garage and I would rather sleep if I get the chance. I try to stay up until 11-12 a couple nights a week to spend time with him on the couch, but since I'm the one that gets up with A in the morning it's not frequent.

I wish we did have the down time together that we used to, but it just doesn't get prioritized.

[periwinkledaydreams]

veggiemo thats basically us. After dinner cleanup bath bedtime we both kinda flop on the couch and chill with TV and sometimes a drink, and we chat for an hour or more during this time. He flops on the couch before I do though, and I'm the night owl, he's the early riser, and he falls asleep in .2 seconds vs it takes me an hour or more to fall asleep. So yea he usually ends up ready to sleep before me, but I generally go in and lie down within 10-15 minutes, even if I know I'm gonna get back up after he falls asleep. So kinda? Its basically hang out on the couch chatting, he goes to bed, I go in 10 minutes later and wake him up for ST lol, he falls asleep and I stay up for a while longer.

Lately (always?) though Jazz has had such messed up sleep that he ends up on the futon and she ends up in our bed with me. So nothing is normal right now.

[tjanca22]

When I go to bed, H will come lay down for 10-15 mins and we talk/unwind. He leaves so I can fall asleep and he gets some alone time downstairs. He will come to bed a couple of hours later.

[blueskiessmiling]

Rarely. We actually used to often before DD, but when her slept was so bad, he started staying up later to resettle her, then I got the early wake up. If he is home in the evening (often not because of work), we hang on the couch together like many others here.

[holliberry28]

apparently my husband goes to bed at 9 at bootcamp. I usually can't stay awake past 9:30 solo parenting.

When he's home he usually would go to bed an hour or so after me.

FFTC: if the other person was going to sleep later, they would come "tuck" the person in, meaning 5 min of cuddling. That's embarrassing to admit haha.

[wegrowsheep]

Almost never. T sleeps in our bed though,so it's not like we get to snuggle and chat there anyways. I usually stay up cleaning while he sleeps, or he stays up watching a movie while I sleep.