FFFC: I think Converse as wedding shoes is ridiculously played out, and I side-eye anyone who claims they did it because they were going for something "different." When everyone is doing it, it's not different.
Almost 5 years ago it was different since I didn't know anyone doing it. I saw them on a shelf and liked them. They were perfect for a small surprise for my DH and perfect for our surprise dance at the reception. I didn't want to wear heels and be taller than my DH and many other reasons why I choose to wear them. I don't side-eye those who choose to wear crazy heels or a colored dress. It is their day to do as they please, it may not be something I would do but everyone has their reasons why, and power to them for not going with the typical stereotypical thing.
I am totally baffled by people who don't drink or only drink a couple of times a year.
I drink a lot, especially during the TWW, because I want to get it in -- just in case I have to stop.
I don't drink at all and H has like 2 drinks a year. I don't like the way beer and wine taste and have nearly fainted from drinking before. H is an incredible lightweight. We don't miss it at all.
I also am not a big drinker. I don't like being drunk, and now that I take meds for anxiety I don't drink at all. Do I miss a good buzzed feeling now and then? Sure, but that's what anxiety meds are for! (In case anyone was wondering, I do not abuse my anxiety meds. That was a joke. Hyperbole is getting judged today, so who knows what people believe...)
Ditto this. I'm on zoloft and ever since I started it I can't let myself get drunk because I will get SO.FUCKING.SICK. Like, puking all night, hangover from hell. Awful. So I have a few drinks now and then and get a little buzz but then stop. Absolutely not worth it to me. That's the one good thing about this OOT Bach party I'm going to, I'm going to save a lot of money on booze. Shit's too expensive!
I was reading it over and over again. It sounds two types of fucked up.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
This is equivalent to saying "you don't understand because you don't have children" or "just wait until you have kids". Which is top of the list of things not to say to people who don't have kids.
FFFC: I think Converse as wedding shoes is ridiculously played out, and I side-eye anyone who claims they did it because they were going for something "different." When everyone is doing it, it's not different.
Almost 5 years ago it was different since I didn't know anyone doing it. I saw them on a shelf and liked them. They were perfect for a small surprise for my DH and perfect for our surprise dance at the reception. I didn't want to wear heels and be taller than my DH and many other reasons why I choose to wear them. I don't side-eye those who choose to wear crazy heels or a colored dress. It is their day to do as they please, it may not be something I would do but everyone has their reasons why, and power to them for not going with the typical stereotypical thing.
I'm not side-eyeing the fact anyone wears Converse as their wedding shoes...you do your thing. I side eye when people take something popular (i.e. Converse as wedding shoes) & claim they're doing it to be different. I also think that the "trend" is reaaaaaallllly overdone, but if that wasn't the case when you did it then obviously my statement doesn't apply to you.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
I was reading it over and over again. It sounds two types of fucked up.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
I just chose not to respond to that one, as I felt like we covered it the first time. Oh well.
ETA: I'm not agreeing with the "you can't understand" statement, because I try not to go there. I'm just letting it go. As Setsuna said, hyperbole is getting judged today. That's fine. I'm not taking it personally.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
This is equivalent to saying "you don't understand because you don't have children" or "just wait until you have kids". Which is top of the list of things not to say to people who don't have kids.
I am just saying a person who does not have a toddler cannot understand. It is a true statement specific to that age. Sorry if it is offensive.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
This is equivalent to saying "you don't understand because you don't have children" or "just wait until you have kids". Which is top of the list of things not to say to people who don't have kids.
Before having a kid, I was never offended by that statement. If I'm not a mom, then of course there are things I can't understand until I become one.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
Meh. I have a toddler and I don't understand. Whatever.
Maybe I am more sensitive to it as my son has a sensory delay. To someone who doesn't know him it appears that he has behavioral issues though it relates back to the sensory delay.
This is equivalent to saying "you don't understand because you don't have children" or "just wait until you have kids". Which is top of the list of things not to say to people who don't have kids.
I am just saying a person who does not have a toddler cannot understand. It is a true statement specific to that age. Sorry if it is offensive.
I think a person who does not have a toddler CAN understand. We've all babysat toddler or had nieces and nephews or just seen toddlers. We understand. We do not need to be mothers to be privy to how difficult toddlers can be. So yes. Saying we can't possibly understand is a bit offensive.
I am just saying a person who does not have a toddler cannot understand. It is a true statement specific to that age. Sorry if it is offensive.
I think a person who does not have a toddler CAN understand. We've all babysat toddler or had nieces and nephews or just seen toddlers. We understand. We do not need to be mothers to be privy to how difficult toddlers can be. So yes. Saying we can't possibly understand is a bit offensive.
I think we can just agree to disagree. Living with a toddler is whole different ball game especially if they have special needs. I do apologize if I offended you though. That was not my intention.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
This is equivalent to saying "you don't understand because you don't have children" or "just wait until you have kids". Which is top of the list of things not to say to people who don't have kids.
Exactly. A grown woman (50 something year old) that doesn't even have kids of her own told me this, this week. She is a crazy cat lady with some nieces and nephews that nobody in the family likes her. And she was referring to the fact that, she was getting a little ball for one child and JUST HAD to have another one for the other child and started to explain why but then stopped and said "well you'll understand one day when you have kids." I already do not like this woman, she's a dramatic, know-it-all. If I would not have been at work I probably would have bit her head off right then and there. I have 5 nieces and nephews, all of my friends have children, and there are all kinds of little kids at my church. I bet I have more helpful experience than she does. I do NOT need her input. As you can tell I'm only a little ragey still from this.
So no, that's NOT something you say to a person who doesn't have kids.
I am just saying a person who does not have a toddler cannot understand. It is a true statement specific to that age. Sorry if it is offensive.
I think a person who does not have a toddler CAN understand. We've all babysat toddler or had nieces and nephews or just seen toddlers. We understand. We do not need to be mothers to be privy to how difficult toddlers can be. So yes. Saying we can't possibly understand is a bit offensive.
There is a HUMUNGOUS difference between babysitting & parenting.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
I am just saying a person who does not have a toddler cannot understand. It is a true statement specific to that age. Sorry if it is offensive.
I think a person who does not have a toddler CAN understand. We've all babysat toddler or had nieces and nephews or just seen toddlers. We understand. We do not need to be mothers to be privy to how difficult toddlers can be. So yes. Saying we can't possibly understand is a bit offensive.
I totally understand why it can be offensive and upsetting. I do try not to think or say this, because it was always hard for me to hear before I became a mom, when I WANTED to be one, wanted to understand, and truly thought I could. I did understand it could be very difficult, I had babysat, I had heard stories from mom friends/family, etc.
I truly believe I didn't fully, completely understand until I had my own baby, now toddler, and I totally judged moms for things I wouldn't even bat an eyelash at now. I know I don't understand every other mom, their story or situation. I'm not trying to be condescending. I totally get your perspective. It just really sucks to be judged as a mom, especially by people who are not or not yet moms, for something you say or do, when they have never dealt with it, but think they know know all about. I think that's kind of all we're saying here. Until you have lived it, you can sympathize, but not empathize.
I have to go do work, so I'm not abandoning the convo, but well, I'm kind of abandoning the convo.
If you don't have a toddler you cannot possibly understand.
I don't have a toddler. I have an almost 1 year old on the cusp of walking.
But I certainly understand the challenges that come with children. I understand what it's like when they think it's playtime at 3am, or cry for hours for seemingly no reason, or refuse to let you put them down, or hit you in the eye, bite your nipple for fun...whatever.
But I still would never get online and say "gee, I could have thrown/throat punched/etc my child for their behavior," even in jest. I don't think you really would hit your kid, but it doesn't give me the warm fuzzies to hear you say that, either way.
Venting is one thing, I just don't think child abuse is ever something to make light of.
I don't think venting = making light of child abuse. I think talking about frustrations even in harsh terms is extremely healthy. Also since this is a community I think it is appropriate. Now if that was somone's first post here I would find that a bit odd.
S/O yesterday's "don't call me blank" UOs. I don't give a shit what people call me. My name has changed 4 times already in my life. It is not my identity. I am still me even if my name is "Boobie Penis Fucker".
Catching up... not very far yet.
I shall be calling you this from now on (or until I forget).
I've been having an early morning pittyparty for myself. Tossed and turned last night until almost 1am. Woke up at 4:30, took my temp, it nose-dived, and now I'm in the tub frustrated, pissed and sad, because I'm fairly certain CD1 of cycle 8 is going to happen at any point. Apparently, I'm having a hard time with that particular number, don't ask me why.
I think a person who does not have a toddler CAN understand. We've all babysat toddler or had nieces and nephews or just seen toddlers. We understand. We do not need to be mothers to be privy to how difficult toddlers can be. So yes. Saying we can't possibly understand is a bit offensive.
There is a HUMUNGOUS difference between babysitting & parenting.
And I understand that. But just because I'm not a parent doesn't mean I don't understand. But I have a brain that's capable of taking in the world around me. I've observed my siblings and friends. I also raised my ex boyfriends toddler for 3 years. I was not his parent. But I was up with him sick in the middle of the night, spent time explaining why biting is bad, and why not to stick his finger in the dogs eye, and I sobbed for weeks because I didn't get to say goodbye to him because his father was a loser who left me. You don't know other people's life experiences. You aren't inside their brains looking at what they are taking in about the world around them. I just don't think it's fair to say that because someone isn't a parent they can't possible know anything about parenting.
FFFC: Even though I have sworn up and down I would never read 50 Shades, part of me wants to see the movie just to see what the fuss is about.
I read it and will see the movie at some point... I am however not looking forward to all the crazy arguments and reviews about the movie. I think people will take the whole thing to a level it doesn't need to go to. I can see why there will be controversy, but I don't want to hear about it and see it all over social media.
This precisely. I read the first two books, and want to see the movie just "close the loop" I guess. But they were candy. Terrible writing and not some great literary achievement. But the movies are going to cause a big ruckus about how terrible the concept is or how bad the acting is. Meh, it shouldn't be taken so seriously.
Post by thechickencoop on Feb 13, 2015 14:29:59 GMT -5
I was judging these women at the gym this morning - They were on the ellipticals and just chatting chatting chatting, then I was in the circuit room and they came in a few minutes after me and were just sitting on the machines chatting chatting chatting.
I mean, I don't really care, they weren't in my way or anything and I really don't give a shit that they're not working out, but why 'pretend' to work out? I dunno. It sounds so stupid typing it out but I did want to roll my eyes at them.
Edited - sentences are hard today.
Oh, ETA I think it bothered me more because I couldn't, for the life of me, get my fucking phone to connect to Pandora OR Slacker so I didn't have my jams blaring in my ear. Actually...now that I think about it I think that's what I was most mad about. They just happened to be slightly annoying too
I don't think venting = making light of child abuse. I think talking about frustrations even in harsh terms is extremely healthy. Also since this is a community I think it is appropriate. Now if that was somone's first post here I would find that a bit odd.
Yep, I know there's a difference. I'm saying this crossed that line.
Vent: I am so frustrated with my kid sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall. Making light of abuse: My kid is so frustrating, I want to bang my child's head against a wall. jk!
The posts today felt more like the latter.
So when I say that I want to strangle my husband because he forgot to take out the trash again, then I'm making light of domestic abuse? Sorry, but NO.
I don't think venting = making light of child abuse. I think talking about frustrations even in harsh terms is extremely healthy. Also since this is a community I think it is appropriate. Now if that was somone's first post here I would find that a bit odd.
Yep, I know there's a difference. I'm saying this crossed that line.
Vent: I am so frustrated with my kid sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall. Making light of abuse: My kid is so frustrating, I want to bang my child's head against a wall. jk!
The posts today felt more like the latter.
I think people can vent how they want. You are more than welcome to judge, but there is nothing wrong with how a person vents. What matters is that people are not abusing there children. Descriptive venting does not lead to child abuse.
Yesterday I spent the day at home with my kids while my husband went on an interview. I was cruising Netflix, trying to find something to watch when they were napping, and I saw "The Fault in our Stars". I heard it was good, so thought why the hell not.
I spent the entire movie sobbing. Not a little tear here and there, but ugly cry, snot, red face kind of cry. When my kids woke up they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn't stop hugging them while continuing to ugly cry.
Probably wasted 4 hours of crying over that movie.
I finished the book while watching my kids play out back last year. DH came out to ask me about dinner and freaked because I was sitting there bawling. Movie was the same way.
My FFFC: I made DH a basket of stuff for a Valentine's date night in (movie, candy, popcorn, gift card to order food to go).I had a shitty morning so as I was putting it all together I ate the Reese's I had bought for him. I hid the wrapper in the bathroom trash so he wouldn't see it. Not because he cares what I eat, but he'd be jealous.
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