Post by crispywheats on Nov 19, 2016 20:21:37 GMT -5
Update 12/2: Appointment yesterday. Marcus did very well. The only issues were the things that we already knew about: not as responsive to his name, and not as consistent as he should be with eye contact. The doctor suggested a couple ways to help develop those skills. He said that he did very very well otherwise. We'll have results next week. He said that he didn't want to speculate until he tabulated the results, but that he didn't think that the symptoms he saw would necessarily put him on the spectrum. And if it's anything, it's probably borderline/very mild, and would pertain to the skills that we can develop. We go back for results on Wednesday.
Thank you for all the well-wishes and encouragement. Thank you for making me feel still feel welcomed after such an absence. Outlook is good and we'll keep working on it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First, I hope everyone is well. I have a lot of catching up to do, bear with me through that.
Here's a wall of text. Sorry in advance.
So, I've been pretty withdrawn (on social media in general) because we've had some things going on. And I've been dealing (or not) with them.
After I reached out and expressed some concerns to our regular pediatrician. She referred us to another pediatrician in our practice. The visit went well, very much as expected.
Marcus likely has high-function Asperger's. I've known. For like a year. But he's high-functioning, and very borderline. So when I'd express my concerns to family and friends (who see him for a couple of hours to a week at a time) they haven't seen it. Or explain my concerns away. "He's just super smart/curious/independent!" Probably all true, they're not mutually exclusive. But many have an image of autism in their heads (arm flapping, toe walking, Rainman) and that's not Marcus. He's verbal. He met or exceeded expected physical milestones; crawling/standing/walking. He's expressive and silly. Loves some interactive play like peek-a-boo and building with blocks. Snuggles in for books all day long. But otherwise, I've always felt like I've had trouble connecting in play with him. I can play with other kids, why can't I connect with my own? What's wrong with me? I'm a stay at home mom. This is my one job and I'm not even good at it. 😔
But... while his eye contact is existent, it's fleeting. He's inconsistently respondent to his name (His hearing is fine. This kid can hear me open a candy bar from across the apartment. 😜) He's not fond of affection. He will point to things, such as a plane, but not look to see if we see it too. He's hit or miss on waving/greetings. Seems like, "if I feel like it." In combination with the well-meaning support from family and friends, I've gone through the past year feeling very confused and maybe a little like others thought I was crazy. There was doubt, but not necessarily denial. I just didn't know. It's been hard and that's where the depression and not dealing comes in.
But seeing the doctor the other day, helped a ton. A bittersweet sigh of relief. I of course wanted to be wrong. But there is some validation in knowing my kid. And now, we're on the right path to wherever this journey takes us. The next stop is the Autism Diagnostic Observational Schedule (ADOS) exam on 12/1. He'll be observed playing with us for an hour in a controlled setting designed to illicit certain social reactions. Because I'm fairly confident about a positive diagnosis, the next stops in the journey will be whatever early-intervention is deemed necessary; speech/behavioral/occupational/etc. therapy. Because we caught it early and he's high-functioning, it's possible it will be non-detectable in the future.
In the end, it really doesn't change anything. He's the same kid we adored a week ago, a year ago. Now we just have an explanation for some of his quirkiness and some of our challenges. I was worried a diagnosis will label him, but really it's just going to be a tool to get him the help and services he needs. I know there are far worse things we could deal with. But I do fear how this will probably make our lives more challenging. But most of all I fear for how this will affect Marcus. I worry about his life being more difficult than it should be.
I'm fine. For reals. I go through the range of emotions, but I'm better than I'd been not knowing. I long for hugs and kisses from Marcus, but I realize these are my hang ups, not his. He loves us exactly how he knows how to. I mourn for the idea of a childhood I expected for him, but he might not have.
This isn't a post looking for sympathy/empathy/thoughts/prayers/fairy dust/etc. I just wanted to let you all know what's going on in our lives. And while I know this is a no explanations needed group of ladies, this is why I haven't been present. And I really like you all, so I wanted to give you an explanation anyway. I'm in a better place now, and I'm going to try to be back more often. I've missed you all and still regularly think about you. But when I'm hit or miss on replying to your posts, or liking photos of your adorable littles, or seem to disproportionately like someone's stuff more regularly, or only pop in to post something about my life, I'm not being a twatwaffle friend. A lot of days, I just can't even.
At the risk of sounding preachy, my only request is that if you or a friend/family member are in a similar place of concern (doesn't have to be asd, just anything) listen to your gut and don't dissuade them from listening to theirs. I hold no ill feelings toward the friends and family trying to help/comfort/support. Every single one of them had love and good intentions in their actions. But it's not helpful to be made to feel crazy. Especially when you unfortunately end up being right.
I'll of course check in with the ASD community, but if there's anyone here in the same place, please feel free to reach out. Im ready to talk now.
If you made it this far, thanks. 😉
TLDR; My kid is probably an Aspie. We're working through it. Sorry I'm flakey in the group. 😆
Also, here's a cute photo of him mean muggin' (Probably due to his horrid chop job of a haircut. In all fairness, he was far less compliant than on his first go 'round. 😆)
Thank you for all the well-wishes and encouragement. Thank you for making me feel still feel welcomed after such an absence. Outlook is good and we'll keep working on it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First, I hope everyone is well. I have a lot of catching up to do, bear with me through that.
Here's a wall of text. Sorry in advance.
So, I've been pretty withdrawn (on social media in general) because we've had some things going on. And I've been dealing (or not) with them.
After I reached out and expressed some concerns to our regular pediatrician. She referred us to another pediatrician in our practice. The visit went well, very much as expected.
Marcus likely has high-function Asperger's. I've known. For like a year. But he's high-functioning, and very borderline. So when I'd express my concerns to family and friends (who see him for a couple of hours to a week at a time) they haven't seen it. Or explain my concerns away. "He's just super smart/curious/independent!" Probably all true, they're not mutually exclusive. But many have an image of autism in their heads (arm flapping, toe walking, Rainman) and that's not Marcus. He's verbal. He met or exceeded expected physical milestones; crawling/standing/walking. He's expressive and silly. Loves some interactive play like peek-a-boo and building with blocks. Snuggles in for books all day long. But otherwise, I've always felt like I've had trouble connecting in play with him. I can play with other kids, why can't I connect with my own? What's wrong with me? I'm a stay at home mom. This is my one job and I'm not even good at it. 😔
But... while his eye contact is existent, it's fleeting. He's inconsistently respondent to his name (His hearing is fine. This kid can hear me open a candy bar from across the apartment. 😜) He's not fond of affection. He will point to things, such as a plane, but not look to see if we see it too. He's hit or miss on waving/greetings. Seems like, "if I feel like it." In combination with the well-meaning support from family and friends, I've gone through the past year feeling very confused and maybe a little like others thought I was crazy. There was doubt, but not necessarily denial. I just didn't know. It's been hard and that's where the depression and not dealing comes in.
But seeing the doctor the other day, helped a ton. A bittersweet sigh of relief. I of course wanted to be wrong. But there is some validation in knowing my kid. And now, we're on the right path to wherever this journey takes us. The next stop is the Autism Diagnostic Observational Schedule (ADOS) exam on 12/1. He'll be observed playing with us for an hour in a controlled setting designed to illicit certain social reactions. Because I'm fairly confident about a positive diagnosis, the next stops in the journey will be whatever early-intervention is deemed necessary; speech/behavioral/occupational/etc. therapy. Because we caught it early and he's high-functioning, it's possible it will be non-detectable in the future.
In the end, it really doesn't change anything. He's the same kid we adored a week ago, a year ago. Now we just have an explanation for some of his quirkiness and some of our challenges. I was worried a diagnosis will label him, but really it's just going to be a tool to get him the help and services he needs. I know there are far worse things we could deal with. But I do fear how this will probably make our lives more challenging. But most of all I fear for how this will affect Marcus. I worry about his life being more difficult than it should be.
I'm fine. For reals. I go through the range of emotions, but I'm better than I'd been not knowing. I long for hugs and kisses from Marcus, but I realize these are my hang ups, not his. He loves us exactly how he knows how to. I mourn for the idea of a childhood I expected for him, but he might not have.
This isn't a post looking for sympathy/empathy/thoughts/prayers/fairy dust/etc. I just wanted to let you all know what's going on in our lives. And while I know this is a no explanations needed group of ladies, this is why I haven't been present. And I really like you all, so I wanted to give you an explanation anyway. I'm in a better place now, and I'm going to try to be back more often. I've missed you all and still regularly think about you. But when I'm hit or miss on replying to your posts, or liking photos of your adorable littles, or seem to disproportionately like someone's stuff more regularly, or only pop in to post something about my life, I'm not being a twatwaffle friend. A lot of days, I just can't even.
At the risk of sounding preachy, my only request is that if you or a friend/family member are in a similar place of concern (doesn't have to be asd, just anything) listen to your gut and don't dissuade them from listening to theirs. I hold no ill feelings toward the friends and family trying to help/comfort/support. Every single one of them had love and good intentions in their actions. But it's not helpful to be made to feel crazy. Especially when you unfortunately end up being right.
I'll of course check in with the ASD community, but if there's anyone here in the same place, please feel free to reach out. Im ready to talk now.
If you made it this far, thanks. 😉
TLDR; My kid is probably an Aspie. We're working through it. Sorry I'm flakey in the group. 😆
Also, here's a cute photo of him mean muggin' (Probably due to his horrid chop job of a haircut. In all fairness, he was far less compliant than on his first go 'round. 😆)
I've missed seeing your & M's sweet faces here and on insta but totally get minimizing social media to focus on your family and figure out what's going on. 
