I'm here, admittedly because I was bat signaled. I realize that in this case the poster was trying to basically WK herself and turned out to be herself and an AE, but what exactly was the reason why her IP should have been checked? There was zero malicious trolling happening and...there are many AEs here that aren't outed.
I realize the admins here are friends with the regular posters and become friends with new posters who stick around but this was super unnecessary.
I also feel some kind of way about commenting on who is reporting what lemonliz
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
Married 10 years. DX: AMA, DOR, endo, one tube, +NK, homozygous MTHFR C677T, and abnormal endometrial function test. MFI with high DNA fragmentation and pericentric inversion on chromosome 9.
I also feel some kind of way about commenting on who is reporting what lemonliz
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
Wait so now we call posters out for that? I mean come on this is ridiculous.
Call it what it is - a poster who wasn't liked because of this thread got Admin/Mod abused. I don't care if she was dumb or not or had 50 AEs or not. She didn't do anything to warrant 1. Having her IP checked and 2. Being outed. If that's the way this forum is going to be run then I'd prefer for the Admins/Mods to just say so instead of coming up with some random excuse for why she was checked and then outed.
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
So it has nothing to do with Daisy being a 3T reg that you specifically came into this thread?
Yes. Let's just say if like it is instead of this pretending nonsense.
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
So it has nothing to do with Daisy being a 3T reg that you specifically came into this thread?
Didn't even know that when I came over here to vet the thread from the admin page.
When something gets reported, self-reported or not, every mod gets a page to the report. It could be parenting or knitting. Doesn't matter, I still get it. Mods don't know anything about it until we come and read through the thread to assess who said and did what so that mods, as a group, decide a course of action. Most of the time it has nothing to do with 3T. And I still read them.
Married 10 years. DX: AMA, DOR, endo, one tube, +NK, homozygous MTHFR C677T, and abnormal endometrial function test. MFI with high DNA fragmentation and pericentric inversion on chromosome 9.
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
So it has nothing to do with Daisy being a 3T reg that you specifically came into this thread?
Really? Why are you in this thread but to further your own opinion?
That's fine, but if you can't figure out how to DD your own thread or post or SN instead of reporting it, you earn the right to be called out. Because it wastes my time and the time of every mod that has to respond. Just saying.
Wait so now we call posters out for that? I mean come on this is ridiculous.
Call it what it is - a poster who wasn't liked because of this thread got Admin/Mod abused. I don't care if she was dumb or not or had 50 AEs or not. She didn't do anything to warrant 1. Having her IP checked and 2. Being outed. If that's the way this forum is going to be run then I'd prefer for the Admins/Mods to just say so instead of coming up with some random excuse for why she was checked and then outed.
Some posters accused her right away that she made an AE. They've checked IPs for us when we think we are being trolled. And if it's in favor to you, I'd bet you wouldn't mind.
Wait so now we call posters out for that? I mean come on this is ridiculous.
Call it what it is - a poster who wasn't liked because of this thread got Admin/Mod abused. I don't care if she was dumb or not or had 50 AEs or not. She didn't do anything to warrant 1. Having her IP checked and 2. Being outed. If that's the way this forum is going to be run then I'd prefer for the Admins/Mods to just say so instead of coming up with some random excuse for why she was checked and then outed.
And a weak excuse at that. Like it is what it. This was over on 3T. Posters where upset one of their own was hurt and that's cool you want to protect a friend but don't make up excuses to cover your ass now.
So? And Frank was bat signaled. So what exactly is the issue as to who is here and why?
Wait so now we call posters out for that? I mean come on this is ridiculous.
Call it what it is - a poster who wasn't liked because of this thread got Admin/Mod abused. I don't care if she was dumb or not or had 50 AEs or not. She didn't do anything to warrant 1. Having her IP checked and 2. Being outed. If that's the way this forum is going to be run then I'd prefer for the Admins/Mods to just say so instead of coming up with some random excuse for why she was checked and then outed.
Some posters accused her right away that she made an AE. They've checked IPs for us when we think we are being trolled. And if it's in favor to you, I'd bet you wouldn't mind.
Ok. If this is the type of forum that will check IPs on request and then put them publicly, then that's good to know. Because to me that's never ever been the case. You don't get to randomly request to have an IP check because your spidey senses are alerted.
And if it's in favor to me FOR WHAT?! The chick asked a stupid question that ended up being hurtful (not that she could have known that by the initial response - that knowledge came later) and she wasn't an asshole to anyone. This was a bunch of posters ganging up on another because one of their friends had her feelings hurt. Fine by me, I will always stand up for my friend if she's hurt - but for the Admins to be checking IPs and publicly outing over that is so far beyond over reaching I can't even believe this isn't upsetting to more people on principle.
I didn't ask for any IPs to be checked, just to be clear. Why don't you ask NariaDreaming why she checked it instead of assuming there's something going on behind the scenes?
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
I didn't ask for any IPs to be checked, just to be clear. Why don't you ask NariaDreaming why she checked it instead of assuming there's something going on behind the scenes?
I mean I assume she's reading this thread. Doesn't matter to me if she was asked or did it on her own. Still shouldn't have been done unless that's what they're doing for every single AE/suspected AE.
ETA and I'm referring to both checking IP (which is clear is done pretty regularly/willy nilly) AND publicly outing who the AE is linked to.
I've been holding off on responding to this, but I can't any longer.
@sugabee22, this post comes off very condescending. Especially for someone who's only on cycle 2 of TTC. The way your worded your questions was hurtful. You even admitted to not knowing what Femara is. Next time, before asking insensitive, assinine questions, maybe do some research on your own first.
This post right here is the biggest piece of bullshit in this thread.
A-fucking-men! It's the entire reason why I even said anything in the first place.
Post by NariaDreaming on Nov 27, 2016 21:49:57 GMT -5
The only time we check IPs is when there's decent evidence of CG/TOU violations. In this case, more than one admin had concerns that it was ruther. Hence why we looked into it.
And honestly, we don't check IPs that often, because the admin panel is exceedingly difficult to navigate via mobile, and frankly I'm entirely too lazy to pull my laptop out most days.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Post by frankenboom on Nov 27, 2016 22:50:26 GMT -5
Ok. I mean I don't really believe that anyone was so convinced this was Ruther after what, 10 posts? I think a reg was hurt and other regs (rightfully or not) were pissed and so Admins decided to show good faith to their friends by checking the IP and then publicly outing her.
Even IF you guys seriously suspected her of being Ruther (and it took way more time last time she was back for the suspicion to even be brought up), then seriously once you found it wasn't her, what possibly was the point of the public outing of the AE as the OP? Even if she was what you'd classify as a troll, she wasn't a malicious troll, so she didn't violate the TOU.
Make some rules/guidelines for how you're going to address this type of thing and then stick to them - universally. Or don't. But then don't expect people to trust you at all. You can't run a business by treating anyone who *seems suspicious* like a pariah. I'm sorry that Daisy was hurt - I truly am - but I really think this was handled poorly.
theophania - This entire thread devolved after Rajah decided it was her duty to come in here and restart shit after two days. I called her on it (Look I am fully admitting to doing so) Her answer to me, which I am paraphrasing was "I didn't want to start drama, I just wanted to voice my opinion". That's such bullshit.
Throwing your argumentative opinion into a thread almost two days after the argument has taken place makes zero sense. What purpose could voicing her opinion have really served other than to create drama. It was an upsetting conversation for all parties involved and there was absolutely no need to bring it back up again. It's not the first time she's done something like this and probably won't be the last.
Things like this bother me more than anyone's AE ever would.
I'm not bothering with tagging Rajah because she has been loving titting posts in this thread all day so I know she will see this.
FFS! No one is running off newbs. They are mostly trolls.
And fuck off that the people here are too sensitive.
Seriously? Shown me one place a newb can post and not be assaulted for any mis-step or question without being told to use Google or read years of post history.
We'll take that opinion in consideration. However, if TOU is violated that typically results in a ban not being outed. The TOU is not black and white. It's all shades of grey so we try to handle these things pretty uniformly and outing AEs pretending to be someone else is part of that. It would be a clarification added to the TOU, not some new rule. This is how it's been handled the entire time. In fact, I've been on message boards for about twenty years and this is how most of them have handled AEs as well with the exception of silly AEs and AEs to discuss a private situation. Honestly, I'm pretty shocked to see that some of you are okay with someone pretending to be someone else to WK themselves. Our past experiences here as admins have shown that when that happens it becomes a bigger issue later. This has been a real problem on a few boards here.
Regardless, we will keep your thoughts in mind and discuss how to either handle this situation differently in the future or how to clarify our position on this situation so there's no doubt for members how it will be handled when they create an AE and pretend to be someone else.
I mean this was so benign that I can't believe I'm having to defend myself on this. But yeah I'm okay with what happened in this thread. I went back and read and reread again. The drama started when a poster came back 2 days later to start it - ok, that happens. And then the name Ruther is mentioned (which I kind of thought was dumb but also in jest) and all of a sudden we have a situation of Admins being SO convinced (or not, maybe it was because they were inconvenienced because they had to help her delete her content? Still unclear as to what exactly the reason for the check/outing was) that it was her, that the rest of it ensued. There was nothing malicious either with the OP or with her AE. We have stupid AEs all of the time and I really don't see a difference between these. By definition, AEs who we KNOW are someone else here are catfish. So if you're going to apply the rule to one, apply it to all. But, again, I don't think this was a case of swooping in to deliver fairness to the forum.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
I mean this was so benign that I can't believe I'm having to defend myself on this. But yeah I'm okay with what happened in this thread. I went back and read and reread again. The drama started when a poster came back 2 days later to start it - ok, that happens. And then the name Ruther is mentioned (which I kind of thought was dumb but also in jest) and all of a sudden we have a situation of Admins being SO convinced (or not, maybe it was because they were inconvenienced because they had to help her delete her content? Still unclear as to what exactly the reason for the check/outing was) that it was her, that the rest of it ensued. There was nothing malicious either with the OP or with her AE. We have stupid AEs all of the time and I really don't see a difference between these. By definition, AEs who we KNOW are someone else here are catfish. So if you're going to apply the rule to one, apply it to all. But, again, I don't think this was a case of swooping in to deliver fairness to the forum.
yes, Frank, I brought up Ruther as a joke. She was notorious for the non-apology apologies. Then the 2nd time, it was so obvious the baily profile was an AE.
The point is that in the explanation(s!!!!!!) that Admins/Mods are providing, one of them is that if people think that someone is a past malicious poster/troll/ae, then they will check IPs. You were the only one who brought up Ruther (and yes I get it was a joke), so that being one of several explanations for why her IP was checked was ridiculous.
Also I mean ok duh Bailey was an AE but we have 23904823 AEs here and just like those, Bailey wasn't malicious - she was actually having a positive back and forth with several posters. She was dumb, sure, but again to the broader point...there was no reason for her to be outed.
yes, Frank, I brought up Ruther as a joke. She was notorious for the non-apology apologies. Then the 2nd time, it was so obvious the baily profile was an AE.
The point is that in the explanation(s!!!!!!) that Admins/Mods are providing, one of them is that if people think that someone is a past malicious poster/troll/ae, then they will check IPs. You were the only one who brought up Ruther (and yes I get it was a joke), so that being one of several explanations for why her IP was checked was ridiculous.
Also I mean ok duh Bailey was an AE but we have 23904823 AEs here and just like those, Bailey wasn't malicious - she was actually having a positive back and forth with several posters. She was dumb, sure, but again to the broader point...there was no reason for her to be outed.
She was having a "positive back and forth" AFTER she came back to defend herself and accused me of being paranoid for calling her out. Malicious is too strong of a word, but she's definitely not innocent in this.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
The point is that in the explanation(s!!!!!!) that Admins/Mods are providing, one of them is that if people think that someone is a past malicious poster/troll/ae, then they will check IPs. You were the only one who brought up Ruther (and yes I get it was a joke), so that being one of several explanations for why her IP was checked was ridiculous.
Also I mean ok duh Bailey was an AE but we have 23904823 AEs here and just like those, Bailey wasn't malicious - she was actually having a positive back and forth with several posters. She was dumb, sure, but again to the broader point...there was no reason for her to be outed.
She was having a "positive back and forth" AFTER she came back to defend herself and accused me of being paranoid for calling her out. Malicious is too strong of a word, but she's definitely not innocent in this.
Ok, so she lied when she said she wasn't sugabee. Sugabee wasn't malicious in the first place, and BG wasn't malicious either. They were both just dumb. So you seriously think the appropriate course of action in this case was to 1. check her IP/associated SNs and then 2. publicly out her?
To me - that's just not the type of thing I'm cool with, personally.
Post by frankenboom on Nov 28, 2016 10:37:38 GMT -5
And, IMO, until the Admin(s) can separate their personal feelings (and personal SNs which I have argued in the past) from Admin business, this type of thing will continue to happen.
If Naria wanted to participate in this thread as Naria on a personal level that would have been one thing, but she did so as an Admin (in that capacity in checking the IP or associated SNs or whatever - something only she and a select few have access to) and there was absolutely no reason for Admin (acting as Administrators of the forum) to be involved in this thread.
Not tagging because if I did I'd want to tag Naria but it's tagging Admin which is the exact point I'm making.
She was having a "positive back and forth" AFTER she came back to defend herself and accused me of being paranoid for calling her out. Malicious is too strong of a word, but she's definitely not innocent in this.
Ok, so she lied when she said she wasn't sugabee. Sugabee wasn't malicious in the first place, and BG wasn't malicious either. They were both just dumb. So you seriously think the appropriate course of action in this case was to 1. check her IP/associated SNs and then 2. publicly out her?
To me - that's just not the type of thing I'm cool with, personally.
BG came in here to throw her two cents in and to make me look stupid. I called her out, she lied and people ran to her defense. So yeah, I think she deserves to be called out. If she just intro'ed and didn't come back into this thread to start more trouble then I don't think she would've had her IP checked in the first place
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Ok, so she lied when she said she wasn't sugabee. Sugabee wasn't malicious in the first place, and BG wasn't malicious either. They were both just dumb. So you seriously think the appropriate course of action in this case was to 1. check her IP/associated SNs and then 2. publicly out her?
To me - that's just not the type of thing I'm cool with, personally.
BG came in here to throw her two cents in and to make me look stupid. I called her out, she lied and people ran to her defense. So yeah, I think she deserves to be called out. If she just intro'ed and didn't come back into this thread to start more trouble then I don't think she would've had her IP checked in the first place
To make you look stupid?
She came in here to WK herself, dude. That's it.
You and I will not agree on this - you think it's ok for THAT to warrant IP check/public outing, I do not. Plain and simple.
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