Post by katietopaz on Nov 22, 2016 15:13:03 GMT -5
Hai. I just got back from the grocery store. I was blissfully unaware that it was a holiday week therefore it would be insane, until I got to the parking lot. Why does Trader Joe's always have the most cluster-fucky parking lots?
Anyway, I still got out of there with a few pre-made sides and a small turkey breast. All our family is across the country so we're doing a quiet Thanksgiving in.
Post by ohinvrtedworld on Nov 22, 2016 15:17:39 GMT -5
I need opinions on something! May be TL;DR.
H and I are really good friends with another married couple, and we all went to a work conference this weekend. They had an argument the night before we all had to leave, and the wife friend was completely silent the whole next day. (Her husband told us what the fight was about, and I see both points of view -- both handled something poorly. If they argue or disagree, she tends to give him the silent treatment for a whole day, he says. She openly sees a counselor for some things she's gone through.)
She chewed her husband out in front of us for getting her a really nice meal to-go when she just wanted french fries (but didn't say that's what she wanted), and was completely unresponsive and silent to all the rest of us the whole several hours driving. It made the whole thing very tense and uncomfortable.
Was it rude of her to treat the two of us this way too, even though she was really probably just intending to give her husband the cold shoulder? Do I have any right to be annoyed with her for making it kind of a miserable experience, or is that selfish?
She is back to texting me stuff like normal today as her normal, fun self, but I kind of feel frustrated that she isn't apologizing for yesterday and kind of sweeping it under the rug.
ohinvrtedworld, I would totally be annoyed with her, too. I HATE being put in that awkward situation between bickering couples. I guess maybe it depends a little on how bad the argument was, but I've had arguments with my H before going out with other people and we do our best not to let it ruin it for us or the other people. Being a bit cold to her husband is one thing, but I think chewing him out in front of other people for him trying to do something nice for her, and not speaking to you guys is uncalled for.
ohinvrtedworld , I would totally be annoyed with her, too. I HATE being put in that awkward situation between bickering couples. I guess maybe it depends a little on how bad the argument was, but I've had arguments with my H before going out with other people and we do our best not to let it ruin it for us or the other people. Being a bit cold to her husband is one thing, but I think chewing him out in front of other people for him trying to do something nice for her, and not speaking to you guys is uncalled for.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
ohinvrtedworld You have every right to be annoyed at her. There's nothing more awkward than being put in the middle of another couple's drama. She should've sucked it up for the sake of the group (and the trip) and dealt with it when they got home. The least she could do is acknowledge what she did and apologize for making things uncomfortable, not completely ignore the situation. I would be giving her the cold shoulder right back.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
I'm making pecan pie bars, dutch apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies to bring to my MIL's for Thanksgiving. I'm making the cookies gluten free so MH can eat them. I'm using a new GF flour blend so hopefully these turn out okay! Decent GF baked goods are hard to come by.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
@ohinvertedworld, I do think you have every right to be annoyed with her. If ever MH and I get in a disagreement while we're around other people we definitely do our best to save it for later so others don't feel weird. Especially on an out of town trip!
I'm making pecan pie bars, dutch apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies to bring to my MIL's for Thanksgiving. I'm making the cookies gluten free so MH can eat them. I'm using a new GF flour blend so hopefully these turn out okay! Decent GF baked goods are hard to come by.
yes they are. We get a gluten free flour blend/mix from Sam's club for a decent price....brand starts with a K and I can't remember it now. Our best friends have celiacs and also can't have dairy.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
I'm making pecan pie bars, dutch apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies to bring to my MIL's for Thanksgiving. I'm making the cookies gluten free so MH can eat them. I'm using a new GF flour blend so hopefully these turn out okay! Decent GF baked goods are hard to come by.
Man, my problem in life is that I always feel like people never learn if there's no natural consequence, so I feel this strong urge to be like, that's not cool. I'm sitting on my hands trying to figure out the nicest way to type out that she at least ought to acknowledge that it wasn't fair to us and be sorry that she acted like that.
I'm an INTJ with a high T, so it's hard for me to figure out how not to be too direct and unncessarily hurt people's feelings lol.
ohinvrtedworld, I tend to worry a bit too much about hurting other people's feelings but I might say something like "I hope you and your husband worked stuff out this weekend. That was really awkward and uncomfortable for us. " and give her a chance to acknowledge and apologize.
I'm making pecan pie bars, dutch apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies to bring to my MIL's for Thanksgiving. I'm making the cookies gluten free so MH can eat them. I'm using a new GF flour blend so hopefully these turn out okay! Decent GF baked goods are hard to come by.
yes they are. We get a gluten free flour blend/mix from Sam's club for a decent price....brand starts with a K and I can't remember it now. Our best friends have celiacs and also can't have dairy.
MH was recently diagnosed with Celiac so we've been doing a lot of experimenting with flour substitutes and what not. GF flour blends are tricky because we use flour for multiple purposes (as a thickner, for frying, baking, etc) so one brand of flour could be good for frying, but not necessarily baking. I downloaded a GF cook book and it came with its own gluten free flour recipe to use in their recipes. The book has a lot of great reviews so I'm hoping this is the last flour blend I'll have to try! If it works out, I'll send you the recipe.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Post by katietopaz on Nov 22, 2016 16:43:47 GMT -5
ohinvrtedworld +1 to it being super rude of her to behave that way and not apologize. Though I admit it reminds me of how I used to communicate early in my relationship/marriage with DH. I grew up in a family that was extremely passive-aggressive about conflict and communication (thankfully they're a little better now), and DH/his family are on the opposite end of the spectrum. There were a lot of growing pains and miscommunications while we figured out how to meet in the middle. I still tried not to get our friends caught in the middle and apologize afterward if they did - I was always extremely embarrassed. I wonder if your friend feels similarly? Not that it excuses her behavior.
I'm making pecan pie bars, dutch apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies to bring to my MIL's for Thanksgiving. I'm making the cookies gluten free so MH can eat them. I'm using a new GF flour blend so hopefully these turn out okay! Decent GF baked goods are hard to come by.
Man, my problem in life is that I always feel like people never learn if there's no natural consequence, so I feel this strong urge to be like, that's not cool. I'm sitting on my hands trying to figure out the nicest way to type out that she at least ought to acknowledge that it wasn't fair to us and be sorry that she acted like that.Â
I'm an INTJ with a high T, so it's hard for me to figure out how not to be too direct and unncessarily hurt people's feelings lol.
Haha, I'm the same way! I feel like if you just go along with her pretending like everything is normal then you're basically saying that it is and you're okay with it. I dealt with a similar situation after our wedding with my BIL's gf at the time. We went on a second honeymoon/family vacation to Universal and my BIL's gf was fighting with my him and being a complete bitch the whole time. To top it off, we shared a hotel room with them because they couldn't afford one on their own. On the last night, she was talking shit to my BIL and I had enough and totally lost it on her. We got into a huge argument and she ended up leaving the hotel and spent the night at the airport. I think I was more mad at the fact that my BIL didn't say anything to her and allowed her to act like that and ruin everyone's time. To this day, when I think about that vacation all I think about is her bitchy attitude and our argument. Still pisses me off, lol.
Last Edit: Nov 22, 2016 16:51:24 GMT -5 by lilsneezy
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Can anyone recommend a good fake Christmas tree? I'm still debating a live one but i would be happy to find a good alternative.
I like my little Martha Stewart tree. I think it's intended to be one of two on each side of your front door or something like that, it really isn't very big. But I like it because our house is small and it already has little berries and pinecones on it. It doesn't look horribly plastic and ugly.
I can't do one with built in tinsel. That is too much "fakeness" for me.
Man, my problem in life is that I always feel like people never learn if there's no natural consequence, so I feel this strong urge to be like, that's not cool. I'm sitting on my hands trying to figure out the nicest way to type out that she at least ought to acknowledge that it wasn't fair to us and be sorry that she acted like that.
I'm an INTJ with a high T, so it's hard for me to figure out how not to be too direct and unncessarily hurt people's feelings lol.
Haha, I'm the same way! I feel like if you just go along with her pretending like everything is normal then you're basically saying that it is and you're okay with it. I dealt with a similar situation after our wedding with my BIL's gf at the time. We went on a second honeymoon/family vacation to Universal and his gf was fighting with my BIL and being a complete bitch the whole time. To top it off, we shared a hotel room with them because they couldn't afford one on their own. On the last night, she was talking shit to my BIL and I had enough and totally lost it on her. We got into a huge argument and she ended up leaving the hotel and spent the night at the airport. I think I was more mad at the fact that my BIL didn't say anything to her and allowed her to act like that and ruin everyone's time. To this day, when I think about that vacation all I think about is her bitchy attitude and our argument. Still pisses me off, lol.
OMG did I just quote your pecan pie post?? Sorry hahaha. I can't internet today.
Can anyone recommend a good fake Christmas tree? I'm still debating a live one but i would be happy to find a good alternative.
My brother got a real tree last year that apparently came with a spiders nest. He woke up to hundreds of baby spiders covering his living room wall. That's when I decided I will never, ever get a real tree. EVER!
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Haha, I'm the same way! I feel like if you just go along with her pretending like everything is normal then you're basically saying that it is and you're okay with it. I dealt with a similar situation after our wedding with my BIL's gf at the time. We went on a second honeymoon/family vacation to Universal and his gf was fighting with my BIL and being a complete bitch the whole time. To top it off, we shared a hotel room with them because they couldn't afford one on their own. On the last night, she was talking shit to my BIL and I had enough and totally lost it on her. We got into a huge argument and she ended up leaving the hotel and spent the night at the airport. I think I was more mad at the fact that my BIL didn't say anything to her and allowed her to act like that and ruin everyone's time. To this day, when I think about that vacation all I think about is her bitchy attitude and our argument. Still pisses me off, lol.
OMG did I just quote your pecan pie post?? Sorry hahaha. I can't internet today.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Ugh. I should be asleep but apparently my body doesn't agree. Worked 12hrs last night and doing another 12 tonight. Not awful but tomorrow our flight to my parents is at 12. With holiday craziness I want to get to the airport EARLY so I won't be able to sleep til we get on the plane and I'm going to die of sleepiness and get an awful headache. Happens every time I stay up past 10/11am. Not looking forward to it.
Also not looking forward to going to visit my family anymore.
*trigger warning loss mentioned* LSS, I finally unleashed on my sister how hurt I am that she has not been the support I needed these last few months from the cyst diagnosis through the death of the baby and how it took her over two months to ask me a genuine "how are you doing", bc she wouldn't stop going on and on about how I'm not working on our sister relationship and it's all my fault..... and her response (which took over a week for her to respond- she has no job- she's "networking" right now) was essentially "it's your own fault. We didn't know what you wanted from us." Bc my text from the day we found out there was no heartbeat literally said "Hi family. Went to the doctor. Not good news- we lost the baby. I just need some time to cry and be alone (with Ben). Please don't call me, I will call you when I'm ready to talk. I love you.". Then I called my mom the day after and my dad and sister two days after. And apparently my calling them didn't mean they could talk to me. It meant that since I said don't call me that first day, they're not allowed to call me, ever. 🙄
I'm so fucking mad. What kind of person takes someone's statement of "it really hurt me that you weren't there for me supporting me during my pregnancy and miscarriage" and say "well it's your own fault I didn't support you the way you wanted?
Can anyone recommend a good fake Christmas tree? I'm still debating a live one but i would be happy to find a good alternative.
My brother got a real tree last year that apparently came with a spiders nest. He woke up to hundreds of baby spiders covering his living room wall. That's when I decided I will never, ever get a real tree. EVER!
Can anyone recommend a good fake Christmas tree? I'm still debating a live one but i would be happy to find a good alternative.
I didn't want to spend a ton of money but I got one on the smaller side from Walmart last year. It's like 3.5 ft? And really cute. It was my first fake tree and I love it!
Can anyone recommend a good fake Christmas tree? I'm still debating a live one but i would be happy to find a good alternative.
My brother got a real tree last year that apparently came with a spiders nest. He woke up to hundreds of baby spiders covering his living room wall. That's when I decided I will never, ever get a real tree. EVER!
OMG, I'm going to have nightmares about this.
We have always bought a real tree but this year we opted for a tiny fake tree so that we don't have to worry about our foster sons knocking it over. Now I'm feeling a bit happier about this decision...
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