5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Post by silverspoon on Nov 28, 2016 15:29:12 GMT -5
FTR, I think the vast majority of us are truthfully representing ourselves.
I just don't think we also have the right to know if someone isn't who they say they are. I get there is satisfaction in an AE being outted, but I don't think it should happen for everyone to see. If they are violating the TOU, then ban them. An admin publicly outting an AE feels very cliquish.
Maliciously posting personal information about other members should obviously end with a ban. I don't think anyone would argue that.
silverspoon , and on the flip side of what you said, if you are posting on a public message board, you also give up some of your rights to your privacy, such as IP addresses.
This is actually not limited to posting on a message board. When you visit sites in the internet they get a log of your IP address. That's why some sites will have news labeled with your exact city in their clickbait. It's because they've pulled your location from your IP. I've even seen widgets on blogs that have a running list of cities people have visited from that updates in real time. Your IP address is essentially on every site you've ever visited.
Ok well duh but those sites also aren't message boards where we are sharing details about our lives and such and are accepting the risk of being outed over....still not sure what. This is such a bad comparison.
I have never felt worried about being outed publicly other than on this very forum. Here I just make sure not to do anything that would "toe the line" that could lead to me being outed for anything. Because, well, there's no clear answer as to wtf that is (I still think a simple owning by Naria of hey I fucked up the other day that was an overstep and wasn't the right thing to do would go a LONG way, but again I'm just one cute dog).
I don't have any AEs and never will for this exact reason. Because I assume you all check the associated names of all known and/or suspected AEs and either just store it in your memory banks or laugh out loud amongst yourselves. Either way not something I'm interested in.
This is actually not limited to posting on a message board. When you visit sites in the internet they get a log of your IP address. That's why some sites will have news labeled with your exact city in their clickbait. It's because they've pulled your location from your IP. I've even seen widgets on blogs that have a running list of cities people have visited from that updates in real time. Your IP address is essentially on every site you've ever visited.
Ok well duh but those sites also aren't message boards where we are sharing details about our lives and such and are accepting the risk of being outed over....still not sure what. This is such a bad comparison.
I have never felt worried about being outed publicly other than on this very forum. Here I just make sure not to do anything that would "toe the line" that could lead to me being outed for anything. Because, well, there's no clear answer as to wtf that is (I still think a simple owning by Naria of hey I fucked up the other day that was an overstep and wasn't the right thing to do would go a LONG way, but again I'm just one cute dog).
I don't have any AEs and never will for this exact reason. Because I assume you all check the associated names of all known and/or suspected AEs and either just store it in your memory banks or laugh out loud amongst yourselves. Either way not something I'm interested in.
I wasn't comparing, just commenting about IP addresses in general.
Do you have a specific instance of this happening that you can recall (or point us to a thread in question where posts have been moderated).
I can't give exact incidences but I remember there was a period where posts would be deleted if they were deemed "mean" towards certain members. Maybe somebody else can be more specific?
Time difference means I miss a lot of posts so I can't comment as to what content deleted.
Maybe we're talking about two different message boards, but other than a particular vicious call out thread I don't know of anytime where threads were deleted because they were "mean".
I actually have some concern at how breezily admin admits it's "too lazy" to visit the desktop version of the site most of the time; is that just me? We were promised a website, and useful content, et cetera. But that seems to have gone away in favor of... what?
Since we don't pay for content or access to the site or any membership fees to the admins directly then no, I'm not bothered by it. They really don't owe us anything.
@hazeldublin please keep in mind as well that members can actually delete their own posts individually at any given time. Otherwise the only cases for higher powers deleting posts are what NariaDreaming just mentioned.
This still boggles my mind.
I've never been on boards(and I've been on dozens over 20 years) on the internet where you could delete your whole post, there was only very limited editing for spelling. and some places not even that, which makes autocorrect a bitch. mods/admins would only do limited editing to remove personally identifiable data from single posts in rare instances and always leave a signature of *post edited by admin to remove personal data* so it was super transparent.
definitely no other board I've been on where you could simply ask admin for your content be deleted and it would poof.
Content deletions also deletes all threads that individual poster ever started, even randoms or long useful discussions where people post their own personal stuff for discussion. other boards don't routinely delete all user data. It makes too many holes in the history cause you delete other people's posts along with deleting the post started by the person in question.
I actually have some concern at how breezily admin admits it's "too lazy" to visit the desktop version of the site most of the time; is that just me? We were promised a website, and useful content, et cetera. But that seems to have gone away in favor of... what?
It's actually in the works and a lot of progress has been made. I think she was joking about being too lazy. The reason we're mostly mobile is because that's the easiest way to quickly access TCF while we still go about our daily work and lives. I spend a lot of time trapped under a boppy right now without an ability to get to my desktop easily and when I'm on my desktop I'm working on the website which is actually why I haven't been on TCF as much over the past however many months. The website is currently mostly ready, we are just fixing bugs and minor issues and working on adding more content and tools. We're trying to do it right and not half-assed, but miscarriages, moves and babies have definitely delayed us more than we would like.
@hazeldublin please keep in mind as well that members can actually delete their own posts individually at any given time. Otherwise the only cases for higher powers deleting posts are what NariaDreaming just mentioned.
This still boggles my mind.
I've never been on boards(and I've been on dozens over 20 years) on the internet where you could delete your whole post, there was only very limited editing for spelling. and some places not even that, which makes autocorrect a bitch. mods/admins would only do limited editing to remove personally identifiable data from single posts in rare instances and always leave a signature of *post edited by admin to remove personal data* so it was super transparent.
definitely no other board I've been on where you could simply ask admin for your content be deleted and it would poof.
Content deletions also deletes all threads that individual poster ever started, even randoms or long useful discussions where people post their own personal stuff for discussion. other boards don't routinely delete all user data. It makes too many holes in the history cause you delete other people's posts along with deleting the post started by the person in question.
Actually, we do not typically delete threads started by a user requesting a content deletion unless there is a substantial amount of identifying information in them.
One of the biggest concerns during the meltdown at the dump was the refusal of their admin team to delete a poster's history. From day one we have felt it important to allow users to retain that option to wipe their post history.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
I wonder how many times AmyG is going to mention the vast majority of boards she's been on over the years.
We should make this into a drinking game.
It's a curse of how old I am. I've btdt been at the birth of a bunch of message boards working thru these kinds of issues. It's all new to most of you, so it's an oh so important life changing discussion. If you go hang at a bunch of other message boards, you can see how they run their place, and maybe this place needs a little bit of that perspective.
I wonder how many times AmyG is going to mention the vast majority of boards she's been on over the years.
We should make this into a drinking game.
It's a curse of how old I am. I've btdt been at the birth of a bunch of message boards working thru these kinds of issues. It's all new to most of you, so it's an oh so important life changing discussion. If you go hang at a bunch of other message boards, you can see how they run their place, and maybe this place needs a little bit of that perspective.
It's a curse of how old I am. I've btdt been at the birth of a bunch of message boards working thru these kinds of issues. It's all new to most of you, so it's an oh so important life changing discussion. If you go hang at a bunch of other message boards, you can see how they run their place, and maybe this place needs a little bit of that perspective.
Or maybe it's nice that they consider us individuals and treat us as such.
I appreciate that the admins ask us our opinions, but I also feel that they can do whatever they want and if I don't like it, I will leave and go to another board.
Naria/Theo, thank you for all that you do around here.
Lol. But forget you, Biblio.
No but seriously of course the Admins do what they do around here. It's great, and they should, because it's their business.
They can of course do whatever they want. But either be up front about it (like promised with transparency or whatever) or don't (and then don't claim transparency).
When running a business, these are things that need to be considered. The fact that this is just coming up now is kind of long overdue in my opinion. The whole admin screen name/personal screen name is something I've said since day one. I don't know why these things weren't considered but they weren't so either fix it or don't but just tell us what the deal is so we know.
Post by somebabiesmom on Nov 28, 2016 15:54:15 GMT -5
My 2 cents? Generally, I don't think it should be against the TOU to create an AE, but only one account should be active at a time - which can be verified by admin. If someone is using more than one account, admin should send a PM indicating that admin will delete/deactivate the oldest account unless the user indicates otherwise.
Otherwise, whether the person is an AE or working under an original account, they should be held to the usual TOU. If they don't cause trouble, there's no issue. If they cause trouble but do not violate the TOU, the board can regulate. If they violate the TOU, they are deactivated (or whatever recourse the TOU allows).
My 2 cents? Generally, I don't think it should be against the TOU to create an AE, but only one account should be active at a time - which can be verified by admin. If someone is using more than one account, admin should send a PM indicating that admin will delete/deactivate the oldest account unless the user indicates otherwise.
Otherwise, whether the person is an AE or working under an original account, they should be held to the usual TOU. If they don't cause trouble, there's no issue. If they cause trouble but do not violate the TOU, the board can regulate. If they violate the TOU, they are deactivated (or whatever recourse the TOU allows).
I don't worry about getting banned because I don't do anything ban worthy. If I do, then I guess I deserve it.
I did delete my content because I didn't know if I would be back. But I like it here. I'm pretty comfortable in my relationship with this place
I'm pissed that the newspaper my exILs posted the wedding announcement in is still up. I have tried to get them to delete the content, but they won't. So when you google my name, it's the first thing that pops up. Awesome. Naria, can you call them up and get them to delete that content? Kthxbai.
I'm just glad that Sofa is back in your avatar. Well....I guess I'm sort of attached to you too...or whatever.
My 2 cents? Generally, I don't think it should be against the TOU to create an AE, but only one account should be active at a time - which can be verified by admin. If someone is using more than one account, admin should send a PM indicating that admin will delete/deactivate the oldest account unless the user indicates otherwise.
Otherwise, whether the person is an AE or working under an original account, they should be held to the usual TOU. If they don't cause trouble, there's no issue. If they cause trouble but do not violate the TOU, the board can regulate. If they violate the TOU, they are deactivated (or whatever recourse the TOU allows).
What's wrong with having 2 accounts if you aren't doing anything wrong? What if I have some personal info I want to talk about but don't feel comfortable talking under my own name? I miss Loki, and she wouldn't have existed w/o being able to have 2 accounts.
I actually have some concern at how breezily admin admits it's "too lazy" to visit the desktop version of the site most of the time; is that just me? We were promised a website, and useful content, et cetera. But that seems to have gone away in favor of... what?
It doesn't bother me in that sense. It's essentially their volunteer job, but I have seen similar reasoning when we have had these types of discussions before. I think with these sensitive issues, people are on edge. I'd like to know some thought goes into it in these hard situations and our information is protected for more than a reason beyond "I'm lazy."
Post by Cherhorowitz on Nov 28, 2016 16:06:03 GMT -5
I don't know that I agree that you need to notify admins if you want a new account to start over. This plays into my gray area how I fear it will be discussed with their friends on the board.
My 2 cents? Generally, I don't think it should be against the TOU to create an AE, but only one account should be active at a time - which can be verified by admin. If someone is using more than one account, admin should send a PM indicating that admin will delete/deactivate the oldest account unless the user indicates otherwise.
Otherwise, whether the person is an AE or working under an original account, they should be held to the usual TOU. If they don't cause trouble, there's no issue. If they cause trouble but do not violate the TOU, the board can regulate. If they violate the TOU, they are deactivated (or whatever recourse the TOU allows).
What's wrong with having 2 accounts if you aren't doing anything wrong? What if I have some personal info I want to talk about but don't feel comfortable talking under my own name? I miss Loki, and she wouldn't have existed w/o being able to have 2 accounts.
We will still be allowing silly AEs and AEs who admit they are an AE to discuss private issues.
What's wrong with having 2 accounts if you aren't doing anything wrong? What if I have some personal info I want to talk about but don't feel comfortable talking under my own name? I miss Loki, and she wouldn't have existed w/o being able to have 2 accounts.
We will still be allowing silly AEs and AEs who admit they are an AE to discuss private issues.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
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