new randoms thread 12.9.16

[teachermomtobe]

Dec 13, 2016 20:35:37 GMT -5 applemuffins said:

teachermomtobe, I would be mad too! I get being supportive, but couldn't he have stuck it out just a little longer? What bad timing.

Yeah I think he let his ego and his frustration with a situation get the best of him. He has definitely learned a lesson for many reasons and I know he won't do that again. He's down on himself about it and so I try not to make him feel worse but yeah, his timing sucked!!

[pinecone21]

I got my cell free DNA test results back today. Everything is normal and we're having another girl!

[marshian]

teachermomtobe - That's a tough situation. I hope they will cover it so less stress on you.

[marshian]

We're babysitting for a friend this weekend. Baby is just over 3 months old. He's their first. They haven't had a babysitter yet that I know of besides her mom helping the first 6 weeks. She just emailed me about what time to come over, etc, and sent a very long list of detailed info. Breaking down his cries (what loud vs. medium vs. soft mean), the many methods they attempt to get him to nap, etc. I'm just chuckling in my head. I'm like her and I would default to sending all the information I could, but now being on the receiving end it seems ridiculous. I've babysat many kids of varying ages. I tend to do well with infants. Everyone knows the basics.

Long story short: I've just learned a lesson in advance to trust the family and friends we have watch our baby in the future. Let them do things their way.

[agm04]

marshian haha i can only imagine what it must feel like to be on the receiving end of that. we have a household handbook for our au pair from when she first joined us - DD was about 6 months old. i opened it recently to work on modifying it for the next au pair, since so much has changed. i laughed so hard at myself. it's sooooo detailed. at the time, i thought i'd rather have more detail than not enough (if i were her), but the poor girl must have felt so overwhelmed.

[starsandshamrocks123]

marshian I can sort of relate to your friend. Babies are hard and I felt like it took me so long to figure out what baby needed so she's probably trying to make sure you have everything you need. Also, if she hasn't left him before I'm sure it's tough and it makes her feel better to prepare you. I used to have to write out a schedule for my MIL if she watched DS for a day. Nothing drove me nuts more than coming home and realizing she did something wrong (like ohhh I didn't realize you don't microwave breast milk directly... We used formula back in our day... when I specifically said to heat a cup of water and put the bag in the water to warm...) I mean that stuff I wouldn't have known pre-baby myself.

You can laugh but I would keep that list handy you'd be surprised what people assume when you don't specifically tell them!

[marshian]

@starsandshamrocks - Oh, I totally get it! Like I said, it would be my default to make a similarly detailed list. I probably still will, but will also give them something with just the highlights and leave the longer list for if they need to reference it. And for anyone who hasn't watched a baby ever or in a long time, they do need more (updated) info.

Thanks for sharing your perspective!

[agm04]

starsandshamrocks123 omg yes...i swear my MIL purposely ignored certain things bc she thought i was over the top with directions. which i probably was. but new mom + difficulties breastfeeding + postpartum anxiety...i will leave my damn detailed list!

[teachermomtobe]

I got the call today that insurance approved our the cell free DNA test so I have my appt Monday for the blood work. Yay! DH is so lucky since we missed out on NT scan timing due to him quitting his job!

[starsandshamrocks123]

marshian lol I think I just wanted to complain about my MIL! She's still clueless 2.5 years later. At least DS tells her what's up now. I'm so glad I don't have to micromanage her anymore

[dsp2013]

Dec 14, 2016 16:09:44 GMT -5 agm04 said:

starsandshamrocks123 omg yes...i swear my MIL purposely ignored certain things bc she thought i was over the top with directions. which i probably was. but new mom + difficulties breastfeeding + postpartum anxiety...i will leave my damn detailed list!

I think it's a MIL gene to ignore DIL parenting instructions. You are not alone. I'm impressed my H survived childhood. She's that bad.

[starsandshamrocks123]

agm04 we must have the same MIL...
And actually just thinking about it, I never left a list for my mom, or my sister, or anyone else. Just my MIL!

She watched DS yesterday and I'm all riled up about it. She left the basement door open so my cats almost escaped. Also, when there's a toddler around you cannot leave a door open above a flight of basement stairs! I'm lucky he didn't try to chase after the cats and fall down those stairs. Common sense is not a skill of hers.

[starsandshamrocks123]

teachermomtobe you must be so relieved. So glad it worked out!

As a sidenote, I could totally see my H doing the same thing...

[starsandshamrocks123]

dsp2013 I feel the same way! Like I hope I never get like that?

She got lost on the way to our house this week. She drove a half hour in the opposite direction. We've lived in our house for 4 years. 4 Years. How does she make it through the day? She has a good job too and is really successful.

[dsp2013]

Dec 14, 2016 16:59:53 GMT -5 starsandshamrocks123 said:

dsp2013 I feel the same way! Like I hope I never get like that?

She got lost on the way to our house this week. She drove a half hour in the opposite direction. We've lived in our house for 4 years. 4 Years. How does she make it through the day? She has a good job too and is really successful.

I'm convinced that all women become crazy after menopause. Some just show the crazy more than others. Ha. Sounds like our MILs have a decent amount. They can only hide it from so many people, and family means they let their freak flags fly. We see it all.

My MIL is also successful and in HR. I'm sure she has seen all the crazy at her job. Yet she can't handle a normal toddler tantrum. Angry employees, yes. A 2 year old meltdown, no. She has told me my child needs to be medicated because her tantrums weren't normal. She has also refused to hang out with either of her granddaughters because they were too whiny. Her children apparently never whined ever. My H told her I guess we'll see you in twenty years then.

[dsp2013]

Dec 14, 2016 16:59:53 GMT -5 starsandshamrocks123 said:

dsp2013 I feel the same way! Like I hope I never get like that?

She got lost on the way to our house this week. She drove a half hour in the opposite direction. We've lived in our house for 4 years. 4 Years. How does she make it through the day? She has a good job too and is really successful.

I'm convinced that all women become crazy after menopause. Some just show the crazy more than others. Ha. Sounds like our MILs have a decent amount. They can only hide it from so many people, and family means they let their freak flags fly. We see it all.

My MIL is also successful and in HR. I'm sure she has seen all the crazy at her job. Yet she can't handle a normal toddler tantrum. Angry employees, yes. A 2 year old meltdown, no. She has told me my child needs to be medicated because her tantrums weren't normal. She has also refused to hang out with either of her granddaughters because they were too whiny. Her children apparently never whined ever. My H told her I guess we'll see you in twenty years then.

[marshian]

It's 1° here. Feels like 18 below. I have to walk the dog. Hoping we don't become popsicles!

[marshian]

Finally got our NT scan results back. Low risk for DS and Trisomy-18. I hate the way they phrase it, though I understand why: "Lower risk than the general population of 31-year-old women."

Phew, I feel better. Now to order the announcement for my grandmother! She's going to be so excited!

[sdlaura]

Dec 15, 2016 8:54:57 GMT -5 marshian said:

It's 1° here. Feels like 18 below. I have to walk the dog. Hoping we don't become popsicles!

marshian oh no! I hope you have one of those knee length sleeping bag-like coats . That's the only way I survived a couple of New Hampshire winters!

[panda]

Hey y'all!

I haven't been around in a couple/several weeks. I had a sprain in my rib area and I was just generally too lazy lol. I'm catching up on all the good news.

[marshian]

Dec 15, 2016 10:27:38 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

Dec 15, 2016 8:54:57 GMT -5 marshian said:

It's 1° here. Feels like 18 below. I have to walk the dog. Hoping we don't become popsicles!

marshian oh no! I hope you have one of those knee length sleeping bag-like coats . That's the only way I survived a couple of New Hampshire winters!

I went 7 winters without one and bought one in a big sale last spring. It is amazing.

[marshian]

Dec 15, 2016 10:31:03 GMT -5 panda said:

Hey y'all!

I haven't been around in a couple/several weeks. I had a sprain in my rib area and I was just generally too lazy lol. I'm catching up on all the good news.

That sounds painful!

[dsp2013]

marshian I'm right there with you. I had to drive to South Bend today and was freezing with my coat on, heat cranked, and max butt warmers. I got here and its majorly snowing. Yuck.

Also, I thought my jacket was concealing my bump. Yep. Not so much. Had a doc call me out with 5 other docs in the room. Totally told them to go nice on me because I'm pregnant. I had to have turned bright red. They better by my monitor now!

[violetrose]

Serious question- has anyone experienced more than "normal" anxiety during this pregnancy? (or previous pregnancies)? I'm finding that I'm just getting anxiety over everything lately and it's starting to concern me. When I'm in the grocery store with DD and DS, I actually have to stop frequency to calm my nerves. I know it seems weird and dumb, but I'm just constantly anxious and I hate it. I have an appointment next week and am bringing it up to the DR- just wondering if anyone is experiencing the same thing?

[cateyes]

Dec 15, 2016 13:10:36 GMT -5 violetrose said:

Serious question- has anyone experienced more than "normal" anxiety during this pregnancy? (or previous pregnancies)? I'm finding that I'm just getting anxiety over everything lately and it's starting to concern me. When I'm in the grocery store with DD and DS, I actually have to stop frequency to calm my nerves. I know it seems weird and dumb, but I'm just constantly anxious and I hate it. I have an appointment next week and am bringing it up to the DR- just wondering if anyone is experiencing the same thing?

I have had pretty bad anxiety this whole pregnancy. I know mine is a lot attributed to PGAL/PGIF/FTM stuff but at times it feels crippling. I wish I had advice, but I just take it day by day and minute by minute if needed. My doctor was little help but hoping your will be better!!! 

[marshian]

violetrose - I have anxiety issues in normal life. I worried it might get worse while pregnant but so far it's been better. I would definitely talk to your doctor about what you're experiencing. I have my H watching to see if mine gets worse at any point because then I will do the same. Always better to be safe than sorry. Hope you feel better. Anxiety is a bitch.

[violetrose]

cateyes I'm worried my doctor will act like there's really nothing I can do about it. I find myself trying to practice deep breathing and pep talking to myself to get me through the day

[violetrose]

marshian I'm sorry you normally have anxiety but I'm glad it's actually better with pregnancy! I'm normally not an anxious person so this is very weird to me. It sucks and is affecting everything in my life right now.

[cateyes]

Dec 15, 2016 13:17:30 GMT -5 violetrose said:

cateyes I'm worried my doctor will act like there's really nothing I can do about it. I find myself trying to practice deep breathing and pep talking to myself to get me through the day

That is basically my story. Everyone just keeps saying "calm down, everything looks perfect and you are normal". Like there is no hand holding and no understanding that it took us 3 years, failed fertility treatments, all our money, and donor embryos to have this little one. Everything is not "normal". 

[violetrose]

Dec 15, 2016 13:21:42 GMT -5 cateyes said:

Dec 15, 2016 13:17:30 GMT -5 violetrose said:

cateyes I'm worried my doctor will act like there's really nothing I can do about it. I find myself trying to practice deep breathing and pep talking to myself to get me through the day

That is basically my story. Everyone just keeps saying "calm down, everything looks perfect and you are normal". Like there is no hand holding and no understanding that it took us 3 years, failed fertility treatments, all our money, and donor embryos to have this little one. Everything is not "normal". 

I can't even imagine! Of course you will have some anxiety which is completely normal. Do you try yoga or anything like that? I'm considering trying a yoga DVD or something like it.