I have a question for everyone, what are you planning to do for the holidays if you celebrate? MH has decided he really wants to go to my SIL's for Christmas Eve. However, there are going to be quite a few people there, including some kids, and Vivi has been struggling with gaining weight and her bottle schedule. I told him let's reserve a decision until after we see her neonatologist this week, but the idea of taking her out is giving me so much anxiety.
The first year DS was home, we participated in holidays, but said no one could touch or hold him or anything. People stuck to that pretty well.
BUT don't feel guilty about doing whatever you need to do. If it's better to skip it, skip it. Everyone will understand!!
The first year DS was home, we participated in holidays, but said no one could touch or hold him or anything. People stuck to that pretty well.
BUT don't feel guilty about doing whatever you need to do. If it's better to skip it, skip it. Everyone will understand!!
That's the thing, my ILs haven't been the best about respecting boundaries. We have to keep reminding them about hand washing/smelling like smoke/disrupting her schedule, etc. MH is usually so go with the flow about everything, its kind of surprising that he has completely dug in his heels about wanting to go, especially when I have explained all the reasons why I don't want to.
Totally not being snarky here, but maybe your H can go by himself? Is it on Christmas day? I know it's so hard to juggle this stuff but maybe that's a good middle ground?
Post by motownthrowdown on Dec 17, 2016 14:51:51 GMT -5
The first year, we did nothing. We were on luck down through that whole first year. It was nice though, having the holiday with just the three of us.
I have been the germ freak on many occasions. DD needed me to be, and still does. You wash your hands or you don't come in the house. You take your shoes off at the door or that's as far as you come. I'm not going to apologize or make excuses for trying to keep my baby alive. That's what it is: keeping her alive. A cold or the flu last year would have put her in hospital on a ventilator, no questions asked.
Post by peaseblossom55 on Dec 19, 2016 9:18:12 GMT -5
Over the weekend they mentioned E could come home as early as today. (spoiler- she is not coming home today), she may be coming home over the weekend or later this week. So either she will still be in the NICU and we will see our family as planned or she will be home( hopefully so) and we will be staying home.
Post by penguin129 on Dec 20, 2016 22:12:48 GMT -5
powerofbacon I say do what is best for you and your immediate family. If you feel safer keeping her at home and just having it be the 3 of you do that. The rest of your extended family should understand that you want to keep her safe. I'm sorry some of the family doesn't listen to you about boundaries.
I hope you came up with a plan you're comfortable. My baby was due in November and came in September, so pretty tiny last holiday season. We didn't do any alternate plans, though. She wasn't born super early (early 30s) and she has an older brother who was bringing home all kinds of germs anyway. So, what I was probably different than what somebody with an earlier preemie and/or a firstborn would have done. But the only thing that matters is that both you and your child's doctor are comfortable with the plan and anybody else can go kick rocks.
penguin129 , he never has, and I'm thinking it is likely he never will. This is the same person who came to the hospital two days after V was born, reeking of cigarette smoke. I told him and my MIL they couldn't go to the NICU smelling like cigarettes. He went home, got drunk, got my MIL to call me, and got on the phone and screamed at me.
Oh my goodness. That is so unbelievable to me. I'm so sorry they are like that.
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