Post by trebletrouble13 on Apr 6, 2017 18:33:15 GMT -5
Mid-20's male friend with social anxiety: "Did you already have the baby?" Me: "Noooo, I still have two months to go before I'm due." Friend stumbles over words in embarrassment. Me: (with a smile) "I know I don't look pregnant from behind and in general am smaller this time around." Friend: "Yeah, that's what I meant." Okay, dude. 😄
Me: 29 DH: 35 NTNP since May 2013 charting since June 2014 dx: Graves disease (radioactive iodine), Crohns disease (abdominal surgeries) MMC October 2015 (9 weeks) Severe MFI diagnosis July 2015
Family member today- When are you due? June 10th *Looks at belly* Huh you're pretty small for being due so soon. *Me internally screaming*
I was always concerned I was "too small" so these comments never made me feel good. Now I actually measured a little too small and I'm worrying so these comments are even less appreciated! Why do people think any comment on size is okay?!
Family member today- When are you due? June 10th *Looks at belly* Huh you're pretty small for being due so soon. *Me internally screaming*
I was always concerned I was "too small" so these comments never made me feel good. Now I actually measured a little too small and I'm worrying so these comments are even less appreciated! Why do people think any comment on size is okay?!
I have no idea! It's such a weird thing to say when you think about it. Although it doesn't stop once baby is here either. Dd was a petite baby and everyone commented on it. EVERYONE! Even strangers at the store, "omg she's almost one! There's no way, she is so tiny". Meanwhile around seven to mine months we struggled to get her to put on weight. So thanks, assholes. Ugh sometimes I really hate people. I'm sorry people are being so inconsiderate.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on Apr 16, 2017 21:30:23 GMT -5
I'm wondering if people think they're giving a compliment when they say you're small. Like they assume it's necessary for a follow up comment once they ask the due date. I'm so over the body comments in general.
I figured I'd get at least one comment today at Easter "You're carrying really well this time around. Seems you're growing all in one spot. Last time you gained all over the place" From my uncle. Weird is that I know he's right. Weird that I actually took it in stride and didn't say anything snarky. Perhaps I'm growing as a person!
Let me say that it's also no picnic to have people talk about how huge your belly is all the time either. Everyone just needs to not comment on a pregnant woman's size.
Let me say that it's also no picnic to have people talk about how huge your belly is all the time either. Everyone just needs to not comment on a pregnant woman's size.
So very true! I think a simple "You look great!" would suffice.
Let me say that it's also no picnic to have people talk about how huge your belly is all the time either. Everyone just needs to not comment on a pregnant woman's size.
So very true! I think a simple "You look great!" would suffice.
That should be the only body-related comment someone makes to a pregnant person.
honda13, we got the same thing with DD. She really struggled to gain weight and was super tiny. With all the effort we put in to trying to get her to gain weight, it really stung when someone would say something. Then around 1 she suddenly went in the opposite direction and she is super tall for her age so now I get the "She is only 3, we thought she was about 5." Plus, I find myself mentioning her age to people because they would have higher expectations of what she can do thinking she is older.
@pamom it was very hurtful. She starting gaining weight when we switched to formula around 9 months, but I felt like a failure because she wouldn't gain with breastmilk.
Family member today- When are you due? June 10th *Looks at belly* Huh you're pretty small for being due so soon. *Me internally screaming*
I get this all the time too. I have in each of my pregnancies, actually. It really hurts since I've had an IUGR baby and this one is being monitored because it's starting to fall behind too. I especially hate it when I hear this when DS is around. He's about the size of a 12 month old but he's really 19 months. By the way he runs, talks, etc. it's obvious he's small. I think people are trying to give a compliment? But really, no comments on a pregnant lady's size are OK. Ever.
iris1264honda13 ugh pregnant or not i am just mad that telling someone they're small is supposed to be a compliment. i get it, but it's gross and i have major feels about it because i think about DD growing up and having body image issues.
teachermomtobe so.annoying. i know we've discussed this topic a lot around here, but i've been getting lots of the "will you have a third to try for a boy?" lately. like...first of all i have no idea what life will be like with two. give me a minute to wrap my head around that. there's just so much wrong with those comments i can't even deal.
agm04 I'm very worried about DD growing up with body image issues! I'm very careful at home not to talk about weight and such, but I can't help what other people say and do.
iris1264honda13 ugh pregnant or not i am just mad that telling someone they're small is supposed to be a compliment. i get it, but it's gross and i have major feels about it because i think about DD growing up and having body image issues.
iris1264 same. my ILs talk about how skinny DD is, their own weight, other people being "fat", etc. ALL THE TIME and i cringe.
i'm probably overly sensitive to that stuff. i also get pissed when MIL tells DD she has "crazy hair" (it's super curly). her hair is beautiful, she is beautiful, and i never want her to hear or think anything else. i'm mad about all the years i spent beating up on myself too...it's just so unnecessary in a world that's tough without that stuff!
iris1264 it really is! and they have two beautiful daughters, who MIL will say have gained weight without hesitation. she loves DD and helps us out a lot too - she's not all bad - but holy cow.
People are so dumb. I was often told how huge and how small I was in the same day. Someone should start a "don't comment on a pregnant woman's size" campaign. Or any person's really. Can you imagine going up to a non pregnant stranger and telling them how huge, or small they are? It drives me crazy.
This is my everyday. How can I be tiny and huge?? I will support your campaign.
Post by applemuffins on Apr 18, 2017 20:36:16 GMT -5
I still can't believe that people tell me how huge I am almost every day. And they use that exact word. Huge. I've been told twice this week at work already. I know. I feel like a cow. Even maternity clothes seem to be getting too tight. My norm this pregnancy has been to gain 1.5-2lbs per week. My food intake doesn't seem to matter much. I hate it. I'm ready to have my tubes tied.
I still can't believe that people tell me how huge I am almost every day. And they use that exact word. Huge. I've been told twice this week at work already. I know. I feel like a cow. Even maternity clothes seem to be getting too tight. My norm this pregnancy has been to gain 1.5-2lbs per week. My food intake doesn't seem to matter much. I hate it. I'm ready to have my tubes tied.
I still can't believe that people tell me how huge I am almost every day. And they use that exact word. Huge. I've been told twice this week at work already. I know. I feel like a cow. Even maternity clothes seem to be getting too tight. My norm this pregnancy has been to gain 1.5-2lbs per week. My food intake doesn't seem to matter much. I hate it. I'm ready to have my tubes tied.
+1 to all of this. DH came home a bit early the other night and told me to go get a pedicure. It was such a nice treat because I never spend money on myself because I will always feel bad about it and I never have time alone. I was so happy but as soon as I sat down in my pedicure chair 3 women around me started with the comments. "Oh wow! You must be due any day! You look like you're going to pop!" and it just went on and on with the questions. Everyone was shocked that it was my 3rd (because I've been told I look young) and had to make comments regarding that too. I wanted nothing more than to leave. Then to top it off- I ran into SAMs real quick to pick up a few things since it was on the way home. Four different people approached me to comment on how large I am. I couldn't get home fast enough. I can't wait to never be pregnant again. It messes with my body image issues so much.
Solidarity likes for you applemuffins and violetrose. I don't think I should have to be, but I've found that being really careful about what I wear in public cuts way down on the comments. Brightly colored or striped top, or something that is too loose and doesn't show where my body comes back in under the bump = lots of huge comments. Dark colors and a little more form fitting, especially with a open sweater or jacket over it = no huge comments. For me at least...
I spend a lot of time deciding what to wear everyday lately. And again, I feel like I shouldn't have to, but it does make me feel better to not get as many comments about my large size...
applemuffins, violetrose, sdlaura - I wish I could smack all these people for you! Just so rude. I agree with honda13: Give the next person a taste of their own medicine. Make a derogatory remark about their appearance and follow it with "How did that make you feel?" Maybe they'll learn something. Either that or don't respond and do a 180 and walk away.
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