ihatepizza the JT song 'bringing sexy back' came on my iPod yesterday while I was exercising. I had to laugh because there have been few times in my life that I've felt less sexy that at 34 weeks pregnant with my third kid
Older lady at work commented on the fact I was eating Funyuns for breakfast. Yes I know it's not healthy. I told her it's probably better than the Little Debbie cakes I usually eat 😂. I eat whatever the eff sounds good, when it sounds good. I weigh less now than before I got pregnant and no my Dr isn't concerned about my diet. So eff off.
Older lady at work commented on the fact I was eating Funyuns for breakfast. Yes I know it's not healthy. I told her it's probably better than the Little Debbie cakes I usually eat 😂. I eat whatever the eff sounds good, when it sounds good. I weigh less now than before I got pregnant and no my Dr isn't concerned about my diet. So eff off.
I am so tired of people questioning my food choices! I am in the same boat, I weigh less now than when I got pregnant and no my doctor is not worried about the weight! I even put this in my most recent Facebook status update. It is so annoying when people question every single thing you do. And it has become even worse since I got the GD diagnosis. Everybody wants to pretend like they know what they're talking about!
Last night my coworker said to me at happy hour "You don't look that big! You look great!" I know she was trying to be nice, but the first part got an eyebrow raise. Um, thanks?
Last night my coworker said to me at happy hour "You don't look that big! You look great!" I know she was trying to be nice, but the first part got an eyebrow raise. Um, thanks?
lol. just picture saying that to a non-prego and it's clear how ridiculous it is.
Last night my coworker said to me at happy hour "You don't look that big! You look great!" I know she was trying to be nice, but the first part got an eyebrow raise. Um, thanks?
lol. just picture saying that to a non-prego and it's clear how ridiculous it is.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on May 4, 2017 15:17:18 GMT -5
I was explaining to my dad all of these ridiculous comments people make to pregnant women and how the comments I get really wear on me. He explained that he's probably one of those people who would say something awkward because he doesn't know what to say. I explained to him that he doesn't need to say anything at all.
His response was like, well if I ran into someone who broke their leg I would look like I didn't care if I didn't strike up a conversation asking them the details of their situation. I asked him if he would be commenting about the weight of the person who broke their leg or that they seem to be carrying their additional "broken leg" weight lower today. Of if they should be eating or drinking that due to their broken leg.
He didn't understand my comparison. So I was like, bottom line, don't comment to a stranger about their pregnancy and it if it's someone you know (such as me) and you feel you must make it known that you care, a simple "congrats" or "how are you feeling" is sufficient.
My dad is clueless. Are all of these commenters just clueless???
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on May 4, 2017 15:23:14 GMT -5
As a sidenote, I'm going to a family party this weekend and some haven't seen me in a while. I'm anticipating a lot of chatter. I'm hoping it's all respectful.
The aunt who previously was hastily like "you look... PREGNANT" last time I saw her is going to be there. I will be avoiding her. Perhaps I should ask my dad to explain the above lesson to her beforehand!
Post by teachermomtobe on May 4, 2017 16:04:37 GMT -5
This isn't pregnancy related but post-baby related. Yesterday DH told his mom we wouldn't be coming for Memorial Day (his family usually does a big cookout) because it's close to the due date and we want to stay near home. (True but also I do not want an hour and a half car ride each way to sleep in an uncomfy bed and be miserable). His mom goes "guess you won't be coming for 4th of July then either?!" with attitude. Uhhh we could have a 1 month old or a like 5 day old or anything in between. We have no idea what life will be like. We are not commiting to that at all yet. I told DH even if we said we'd go, we have every right to change our minds literally last second. Sorry your first grandchild will interfere with your BBQ!
This isn't pregnancy related but post-baby related. Yesterday DH told his mom we wouldn't be coming for Memorial Day (his family usually does a big cookout) because it's close to the due date and we want to stay near home. (True but also I do not want an hour and a half car ride each way to sleep in an uncomfy bed and be miserable). His mom goes "guess you won't be coming for 4th of July then either?!" with attitude. Uhhh we could have a 1 month old or a like 5 day old or anything in between. We have no idea what life will be like. We are not commiting to that at all yet. I told DH even if we said we'd go, we have every right to change our minds literally last second. Sorry your first grandchild will interfere with your BBQ!
This sounds reasonable to me. I had a similar conversation with my mom recently. I don't know what I will be up for so I'd rather take a wait and see approach.
This isn't pregnancy related but post-baby related. Yesterday DH told his mom we wouldn't be coming for Memorial Day (his family usually does a big cookout) because it's close to the due date and we want to stay near home. (True but also I do not want an hour and a half car ride each way to sleep in an uncomfy bed and be miserable). His mom goes "guess you won't be coming for 4th of July then either?!" with attitude. Uhhh we could have a 1 month old or a like 5 day old or anything in between. We have no idea what life will be like. We are not commiting to that at all yet. I told DH even if we said we'd go, we have every right to change our minds literally last second. Sorry your first grandchild will interfere with your BBQ!
ugh why don't people get it?! i'm pretty sure she will survive if you guys miss one year's worth of BBQs in the name of raising a child.
i have so much anxiety about the summer - there are like 6 family birthdays on DH's side from early july through late august and i am DREADING dealing with the invites. of course we love those people and would like to celebrate their bdays, but these are not normal circumstances. if we decline an invitation, they will just try to move the celebration to our house. it sounds okay in concept, but i do not want 10 people in my house making noise and dirty dishes when i have a newborn no matter what kind of food or cake they bring with them.
This isn't pregnancy related but post-baby related. Yesterday DH told his mom we wouldn't be coming for Memorial Day (his family usually does a big cookout) because it's close to the due date and we want to stay near home. (True but also I do not want an hour and a half car ride each way to sleep in an uncomfy bed and be miserable). His mom goes "guess you won't be coming for 4th of July then either?!" with attitude. Uhhh we could have a 1 month old or a like 5 day old or anything in between. We have no idea what life will be like. We are not commiting to that at all yet. I told DH even if we said we'd go, we have every right to change our minds literally last second. Sorry your first grandchild will interfere with your BBQ!
Ugh the uncomfortable bed woes. That excuse did not get me out of our overnight Easter trip and it took me days to stop being sore. I have to make a 2 hour trip home sat but it's for my nephews 1st communion and my family will be there so I'm going to suck it up. But we will be driving right back home tomorrow afternoon. I need my bed!
You shouldn't have to feel bad about not committing to anything when you have a newborn or are expecting a newborn. Maybe you'll feel like going, maybe you won't.
I'm less than thrilled that DHs distant relatives are planning to visit over the summer. "Don't worry, they will stay in a hotel" says mother in law. Well... will you also be staying in a hotel, MIL? Also they don't make it up here often so I'm sure they'll want to do touristy stuff. I'm hoping their plans are never really made. Is that terrible?!
This isn't pregnancy related but post-baby related. Yesterday DH told his mom we wouldn't be coming for Memorial Day (his family usually does a big cookout) because it's close to the due date and we want to stay near home. (True but also I do not want an hour and a half car ride each way to sleep in an uncomfy bed and be miserable). His mom goes "guess you won't be coming for 4th of July then either?!" with attitude. Uhhh we could have a 1 month old or a like 5 day old or anything in between. We have no idea what life will be like. We are not commiting to that at all yet. I told DH even if we said we'd go, we have every right to change our minds literally last second. Sorry your first grandchild will interfere with your BBQ!
Ugh the uncomfortable bed woes. That excuse did not get me out of our overnight Easter trip and it took me days to stop being sore. I have to make a 2 hour trip home sat but it's for my nephews 1st communion and my family will be there so I'm going to suck it up. But we will be driving right back home tomorrow afternoon. I need my bed!
You shouldn't have to feel bad about not committing to anything when you have a newborn or are expecting a newborn. Maybe you'll feel like going, maybe you won't.
I'm less than thrilled that DHs distant relatives are planning to visit over the summer. "Don't worry, they will stay in a hotel" says mother in law. Well... will you also be staying in a hotel, MIL? Also they don't make it up here often so I'm sure they'll want to do touristy stuff. I'm hoping their plans are never really made. Is that terrible?!
teachermomtobe, eucalyptus, agm04 - Everyone needs to be flexible when newborns are involved. First, mom might not be up for a big thing. Also baby might not. Or you just don't want to deal with it. It's not the end of the world if you miss one birthday party or one BBQ.
I'm with you, agm04, moving a celebration to your house is not helping.
agm04 I feel for you about the celebration being moved to your house! My mom and sister decided Easter should be at my house, without asking me first. My sisters kids are allergic to my mom's cats, but my sister just didn't want to clean her house.
starsandshamrocks123 - My grandparents on one side said they were going to come visit when baby was here and we were "settled". I'm not too worried because they haven't visited in the almost 8 years we've lived here. Extremely unlikely they will come now. I did set boundaries with my family that if anyone was going to visit and it was more than one person, they need a hotel. No room at our place and I don't want them underfoot. You can absolutely set that boundary. And cross your fingers they don't follow through with their plans.
agm04 I feel for you about the celebration being moved to your house! My mom and sister decided Easter should be at my house, without asking me first. My sisters kids are allergic to my mom's cats, but my sister just didn't want to clean her house.
I'm having the opposite issue about holidays. My H thinks I should tell my family if they want to see us at Christmas they need to all come here. We always travel to where my parents are because my dad has to work over the holidays (car sales, ugh). I know H is thinking it would be easier to not cart a 6-month-old on a plane trip, but our place can't house my immediate family (parents + 2 sisters + their SOs), so I'd rather go down there on my own schedule.
However, we're going to have to have a discussion with my mom because she's going to be mad we won't stay at her house. She has a cat and I am extremely allergic (to the point of getting asthmatic and then suffering from bronchitis for weeks after). We stay with my one sister instead, but I'm sure my mom is going to want the grandkid at her place. Too bad. I'm not sacrificing my health for that.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on May 5, 2017 17:29:23 GMT -5
marshian you nailed it. My MIL won't even let us go over to BILs without her when we visit. She needs to be there since DS is there and she doesn't want to miss out. Before DS we would stay with BIL in his guest bedroom, have a nice relaxing dinner... sleep on a nice comfy bed, ton of privacy and *gasp* shades on the windows. That option is non existent now. We even planned a trip down when we knew she'd be away (LOL sort of cruel) and she canceled her weekend away. FOMO is legit when your grandkids are involved I guess
starsandshamrocks123 - Wow, I guess you're right on the FOMO! Thankfully my H will be very forceful about us not sleeping at her place because he knows how sick I can get. So it's either the cat stays or you get your grandbaby to sleep over. They won't get rid of the cat. So, decision made. I also can't sit around their house all day either because it will get to me, so we have to spend time other places. Thankfully she's gotten used to that but I have a feeling she'll be breaking down my sister's door each morning super early to get at the baby.
starsandshamrocks123 yeah my sister is kind of a slob. I actually feel bad for her kids sometimes. Like, not so bad it's a health hazard or anything, but just not good.
Also, I think it's great you are saying no overnight visitors for 12 weeks! I would love to put a time limit on that too. I've just said 'no overnight visitors for a period TBD' and take it from there.
Post by brandiewine11 on May 5, 2017 19:02:08 GMT -5
My MIL came to help right after my first was born. We get along so it was awesome. I had to tell my parents that no, they were not welcome to visit for a week and bring my 2 year old niece and teenage sister to stay in my house right after birth. Hell no. They are totally needy, completely unhelpful and require constant hand holding. And they would have to stay in my room downstairs because my dad can't do the stairs. Huge no. They were pissed but I did not care.
teachermomtobe, eucalyptus, agm04 - Everyone needs to be flexible when newborns are involved. First, mom might not be up for a big thing. Also baby might not. Or you just don't want to deal with it. It's not the end of the world if you miss one birthday party or one BBQ.
I'm with you, agm04, moving a celebration to your house is not helping.
The problem for us is that my in laws think the baby should just be able to go along with whatever - it's a baby! They can sleep anywhere! They're happy anywhere! Sorry, no. I respect that my child is a person who has needs and wants and preferences and while I don't think it's realistic that they'll always be met, every situation does not warrant messing with them.
My FIL (who I love) got into it a couple months ago bc we had just gone from vacation to living with the in laws for 2 weeks - poor DD was sooo out of whack and unhappy and I said something in her defense about being out of her element and FIL was like "she's fine, she's 2." I said, "exactly, she's 2!" My MIL is forever talking about how none of her 3 kids napped past age 1. Poor kids! They were probably being dragged along to her tennis lessons and errands and god knows what else and never got a chance. Obviously it's different with a 2nd+ kid and you can't stop life, but there is middle ground.
They've always thought we are too accommodating with the baby. If they want to have another one and do it differently they should feel free...these two are ours. Lol.
I wish people thought about what they were really asking. "oh do you mean is my cervix partially open so that I am able to push a baby out of my vagina? I don't know."
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