There is no point to this post except to say what's on my mind.
I cannot believe I should have an almost 1 year old. I should have wrapped gifts for her, instead she was VERY noticeably absent during the wrapping of gifts.
I should be stressing about making her first birthday, on the 29th, so perfect...instead, I'm stressed about spending Christmas without her, and shortly after, spending her birthday missing her.
No smash cake. No cute "my first birthday" things. Nothing.
I'm so worried that through time she will be forgotten so close to Christmas. I'm so sad without my sweet girl.
I hope that everyone is able to find some peace this holiday season. I love you all and I am so thankful for the women I've met on TCF. You've become so important to me, and to my grief/healing process.
I think worrying that she'll be forgotten shouldn't be a worry at all. There's nothing that could make you forget her, even in all the madness of the holiday. You'll feel her every year. Maybe start some traditions if you're worried about it to make sure there's always some sort of remembrance.
Post by peaseblossom55 on Dec 23, 2016 23:34:07 GMT -5
So many hugs to you rslh10,. I actually was thinking the same thing the other day about Anne.liese. I miss her so much. It is so hard to not think of what should be and be fearful that you will forget.
Jan '13: TI w/letrozole, BFP, DS born Oct '13 Dec '15: IUI#1, BFN Jan '16: Cancelled IUI (too many follicles) Feb '16: IUI#2, BFP, DS2 stillborn June'16 @22 weeks We love you baby boy! Aug '16: D&C for retained placenta Oct '16: Removal of interuterine adhesions Jan '17: IUI#3 No ovulation?!? Feb '17: IUI#4, BFN IVF sometime this summer
Post by iheartbroccoli on Dec 24, 2016 18:11:25 GMT -5
Hugs @rshl10. This time of year is so hard.
I worry that others will forget about Theo as time goes on. In some ways, I think it's already happening but I'm not sure if that's me just being overly sensitive about things. You will never forget about K though, she is always a part of you.
Sending you so, so much love. Today completely sucked for me in ways I didn't even expect. No one wanted to talk about my daughter or what has happened and it's all I want to talk about. I don't want to forget her or what today was going to be like pregnant with her and so full of hope. Loss sucks.
Christmas was harder than I expected as well. I cried as we went to bed Christmas Eve night, I would do just about anything to still be pregnant with Ava (she wasn't due until January 12th) or to have her with us. Christmas morning I was sad when we got our stockings down and hers was still hanging there, empty.
Throughout the day I was irrationally angry at my in-laws over things that were no big deal and I cried again last night as we went to bed.
Post by professormcgonagall on Dec 26, 2016 22:35:34 GMT -5
Hugs April. I was upset with FIL because he posted a picture of my 1 year old niece saying Newest and Cutest Lastname. I cried over that because Alex is the newest and I feel like she is already being forgotten by everyone else.
Christmas was so hard. We buried Elizabeth the day before Christmas Eve. I wasn't due until Jan. 22. I just miss her so much and I hate that she was born and buried so close to Christmas. I hate that she wasn't there with us.
Christmas was so hard. We buried Elizabeth the day before Christmas Eve. I wasn't due until Jan. 22. I just miss her so much and I hate that she was born and buried so close to Christmas. I hate that she wasn't there with us.
I hate that Kenley was born so close to a Christmas, too. It's very upsetting for many many reasons. ((Hugs))
Post by heartpresidents on Dec 28, 2016 8:45:02 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, Christmas is such a hard time. I hate it for all of us. I hate having to go to the cemetery to visit Lincoln. He should be at home playing with new toys. Add in a birthday at the same time of year? That must be torture and I'm so sorry. Always sending hugs!
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