"Aggressively" secular

[estrellas]

I was called this recently by my mother-in-law, after sharing the LA Time article about secular families, on Facebook. Apparently she's concerned that with my lack of faith (and, frankly, my general dislike of Christianity) that I won't be able to educate my kids about religion fairly. 

I countered with the fact that I can present to them an even and fair view, and if she's concerned I can't present impartially, then my husband/her son can do it, since he still identifies as Christian (but in a different way from her). She didn't seem happy with that as a compromise, either, and in the end just called me aggressively secular, and how that would be no way to raise a family, etc. 

Have you ever been called something similar? How have you handled it?

[earthian]

This has not happened to me, as I have gotten lucky that DHs family is incredibly open minded. (My family could not care less about religion).

However I'm angry for you. I agree with what anarossi says.
Sorry you have to deal with that.

[Deleted]

Wow, that is such nonsense. I'd say 'agressively secular' would be calling religious people stupid to their faces and trying to ' convert' them in a nasty manner. She sounds very narrow minded of she feels educating your kid about religion 'from the outside' is agressiever. Like everyone who thinks differently threatens her system, quiche cannot be tolerated. Now, that is agressive.

[Deleted]

Feb 17, 2015 15:16:09 GMT -5 . said:

Feb 16, 2015 16:19:27 GMT -5 @dutchkatie said:

Wow, that is such nonsense. I'd say 'agressively secular' would be calling religious people stupid to their faces and trying to ' convert' them in a nasty manner. She sounds very narrow minded of she feels educating your kid about religion 'from the outside' is agressiever. Like everyone who thinks differently threatens her system, quiche cannot be tolerated. Now, that is agressive.

I agree with you --- but I really cracked up at "quiche" I know it's prob an autocorrect fail but you are right: quiche cannot be tolerated!

Yeah, total autocorrect fail there. My phone is set to Dutch, I am still trying to teach it some English, so things like that happen from time to time. FTR: I don't think there is any wrong with quiche. 

[olivegoose]

That is maddening on several levels. What business is it of hers what or how you teach your kids about religion? There is no such thing as a person who is unbiased about religion. Second, she's clearly biased against your views to think it's appropriate to say that. She needs to mind her own business.

[olivegoose]

Whoops, duplicate post

[gallumbits]

Oh yeah you sound totally aggressive. *eyeroll*
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Sounds like she's found a way to criticize your beliefs in away that just makes it sound like you're doing something wrong and she had a right to question you. You're not doing anything wrong. She doesn't have a right to question you. Keep being awesome and try not to worry about her (I know, easier said than done)
eta: I know she's your MIL and you want to keep the peace but her input on this matter should really end here if she can't be respectful. This is up to you and your partner.

[somerandomchick]

Why do you have to educate your children "fairly" about religion? Nobody does that, unless she considers being HER religion and teaching that to your kids to be educating your kids 'fairly' about religion. "I don't think all religions are incorrect" is no less fair than "I think all religions but one are incorrect"

Why do you have to present religions fairly and impartially? Pfft.

[tinkerham]

Feb 19, 2015 0:30:53 GMT -5 somerandomchick said:

Why do you have to educate your children "fairly" about religion? Nobody does that, unless she considers being HER religion and teaching that to your kids to be educating your kids 'fairly' about religion. "I don't think all religions are incorrect" is no less fair than "I think all religions but one are incorrect"

Why do you have to present religions fairly and impartially? Pfft.

Agreed. All is not fair when it comes to religion. I highly doubt she taste tested a variety of religions with her kids.

[acpruchnik]

My MIL likes to argue us raising our kids as atheists but I like to remind her that she goes to a single's service to meet men, not to worship her God. That usually helps shut her up for a little while. Any chance you have some leverage to shut yours up?

[MissMusic]

TBH, anything you teach your kid will have a bias. I'm a musician, so DD's activities lean a little more heavily in that direction. We do more singing and playing at home than, say, someone who loves baseball. Its nothing to worry about.

Its also none of her damn business how you educate YOUR children about religion, or any other subject. Of COURSE you're going to have a bias, and there's nothing wrong with that. Religious families will have a bias, too. Its how the world works. She needs to put a cork in it.

[Deleted]

My dad makes comments and asks if I still don't believe in god. The nagging stems from a conversation we had when I was in high school. Im now 31 and won't even humor him with a response. Thankfully, he stopped bugging as much after my niece was born. My SIL identifies as a pagan and will not give them a straight answer about how my niece will be raised. It appears that having a pagan grandchild terrifies them more than no religion at all.

[amelandre]

I have heard these comments too. Always coming from the type of person who thinks you can't have a moral code or compass without the threat of being smote (smited? Smitten?) by a big bearded guy in the sky. Whaaaatever.

I usually just tell them they're entitled to their opinion and are welcome to raise their own children as they see fit. If their children are grown and capable of making their own choices, too bad so sad, they already had their chance.

[somebirdswalk]

Sometimes the DH calls me a "raging atheist" but that's probably cuz I do most of my raging behind closed doors with him. He grew up Mormon and has retained quite a tolerance despite leaving behind the beliefs (identifies as agnostic now). Guess that tolerance doesn't extend to the occasional bashing of religiousness in general

Unless you were walking around knocking on peoples' doors passing out flyers and fear, I wouldn't call you "aggressively" anything!

Freakin' Girl Scouts are more aggressive than such a FB post. 

[blushballoons]

Lol, I know plenty of aggressive Christians. I am just as passionate about my "religion" as they are. And with the comment about it being no way to raise a child? Yeah, I'd be pissed. I can raise my kid however I want with zero input from the peanut gallery, thanks.