My DE journey

[kathrinethegirl]

Hi, everybody. I’m infertile due to a low ovarian reserve and PCOS. My husband and I have been TTC for nearly 4 years. We have already had two IVFs, and after the second one the fertility expert we consulted advised us to try egg donation. Both of us are UK residents, but at present we are living in France because of my husband’s work. Egg donation is forbidden here, so we have to go somewhere abroad to donate an oocyte.

We’ve got interested in one Ukrainian clinic. It’s called [DELETED]. We’ve chosen it because we have found loads of favorable feedbacks about this clinic on various fertility and pregnancy forums. In addition, our close friends who were also infertile advised us to contact it, because they had a successful egg donation program there.

We contacted this clinic via email, and two weeks ago we visited Ukraine for the first time.

I’m going to share my feedback with you and ask you to give me a piece of advice in order to understand what to do further.

When we came to Ukraine, we were met at the airport by a very courteous translator. Then we were taken to a nice apartment to have some rest.

The following day, a driver took us to the clinic, and this was the end of the things we liked about this clinic.

[DELETED] is a tiny clinic located in a small private villa. When we entered the hall we were surprised to see large queues everywhere. There wasn’t even a vacant place to stand. Some people were even sitting on the stairs. We saw loads of couples with newly born children there. Some of them were crying and it made the atmosphere in the clinic unbearable…

A cold and unfriendly administrator told us that our manager in charge is busy, so we have to wait our turn. Overall, we waited nearly 2 hours before the manager came into the clinic hall and invited us to see a doctor.

The doctor who spoke with us seemed to be a real expert, but she treated us so formally….

We’ve decided not to sign up a contract yet, and went back to France.

P.S. We visited another Ukrainian clinic in Kiev. It was called Isida. The things were different there… Extremely polite and friendly administrator, very understandable and sympathizing doctor and empty clinic hall. There were no queues and noise. The atmosphere is very calm and even frightening.

Now I have one question: both clinics suit us, but we don’t know which one to choose: a noisy or quiet one??? Maybe, there is anybody here who has got an egg donation in Ukraine??? Please share your experience with me.

[bootsorhearts]

Hi and welcome!

There are a couple of ladies who had success at a clinic in the Czech republic, longhornwino0907 and kaliRN. Not sure if you'd consider putting a new clinic in the mix. They both had very positive experiences if I remember correctly.

At the end of the day, you are going to be spending a bit of time there, you should feel comfortable with the place you choose. Sort of unrelated though, I had some plastic surgery done a few years ago and the clinic has a super creepy vibe. I can't put my finger on what. But despite that, I liked the doctor and I went through with it and had a good experience. So who knows, sometimes maybe those weird vibes can be misleading.

I didn't realize how lucky we are to be able to do DE in the US. I never realized before joining this board it was not allowed in other countries. I'm sure there are good reasons but it must be very frustrating to have to go abroad.

[springgirl]

Hi, ladies! Kathrinethegirl, I think you should check everything properly before making the final decision. It’s vital to understand what their true success rates are. At least, you’ll see whether they’re effective or not. You may also google some information about them on various fertility forums. Try to check all possible things about them and then you’ll see what to do further. I wish you good luck, hun.

[bootsorhearts]

kathrinethegirl, I forgot to mention, you are more than welcome to join us on the DOR check in on the main 3T/IF board if you would like. There are 3-4 of us going through donor egg IVF. We love having new people join us!

[longhornwino0907]

I'm bad at TCF lately! But happy to share my Czech experiences with you!

[kathrinethegirl]

Hi, ladies. I’m really glad to meet you here. I just wanted to share my story with somebody, and it’s really great that you’ve joined me here. The thing is I did check quite a lot of things about this clinic. We visited their official website and loads of fertility forums. There were quite a lot of feedbacks about them. One lady even wrote that they had helped a 66-year-old woman get pregnant. Sounds amazing!!! However, I couldn’t understand why they make their clients wait in large queues and hire impolite staff…

[4furrypaws]

Hi and welcome!

If it were me choosing between the two I'd have to go with the quiet place. It gives me all the feels when anyone has a LO in my clinic. Can't handle that.

I am so saddened that you have to leave the country to even consider DE.

Please join us in the DOR Ckin as boots suggested!

[tinywoman]

Hi. I think you should check carefully the way they’re going to choose an egg donor for you. I should be a young woman. It will be great if she’s totally healthy and has a good heredity. I would also check the way the clinic treats egg donors. These women do a great job! They deserve the best of the best!

[kathrinethegirl]

The clinic has a set of criteria they use for selecting egg donors for their clients. Firstly, it should be a young woman of 18-25 years old. She must be totally healthy. Having at least one healthy baby is a real must for egg donors. The woman must also have a healthy heredity. It means the clinic’s specialist will study her family tree to find out whether her parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles don’t have any hereditary diseases.

[mistique]

Hi, Kathrinethegirl. I may sound a little bit sharp and unpleasant, but why don’t you want to adopt. You will use eggs of another woman, so this child won’t be yours genetically. There are so many little parentless angels. They need our care and love!!! Don’t you agree with me?
P.S. I don’t think they would choose a donor who would resemble you as each person is a unique one. Even twins are different in some way.

[bootsorhearts]

mistique, there is another board for adoption and fostering. I'm not sure it's appropriate to question someone on the method of becoming a parent that they are choosing. These are very difficult personal decisions we all struggle with. I'm not sure if you've looked into adoption, but there are many reasons people don't wish to pursue that.

It's important that as a community we respect each others' decisions. I would never question anyone's decision to choose adoption, please do not question someone's decision not to.

We do appreciate your input on the board, but please try to be respectful in your comments. Thank you!

[trytobearunner34]

Feb 9, 2017 11:55:14 GMT -5 mistique said:

Hi, Kathrinethegirl. I may sound a little bit sharp and unpleasant, but why don’t you want to adopt. You will use eggs of another woman, so this child won’t be yours genetically. There are so many little parentless angels. They need our care and love!!! Don’t you agree with me?
P.S. I don’t think they would choose a donor who would resemble you as each person is a unique one. Even twins are different in some way.

Unfortunately your post is inaccurate in addition to being dismissive and disrespectful to the different ways people choose to have a family. My husband and I were a waiting prospective adoptive family for two years without the hint of a match. I suspect if we had not chosen to do IVF with donor eggs we might be still waiting without any concrete sign of becoming parents in sight.

[NariaDreaming]

Feb 9, 2017 11:55:14 GMT -5 mistique said:

Hi, Kathrinethegirl. I may sound a little bit sharp and unpleasant, but why don’t you want to adopt. You will use eggs of another woman, so this child won’t be yours genetically. There are so many little parentless angels. They need our care and love!!! Don’t you agree with me?
P.S. I don’t think they would choose a donor who would resemble you as each person is a unique one. Even twins are different in some way.

Because it's not as easy as "just adopting". There isn't some sort of warehouse of newborn babies where you can just go pick one up. Many prospective adoptive parents wait 2 to 3 years to even be matched with a newborn. And adopting an older child is awesome, but it's not for everyone. It comes with its own special set of challenges, and any child adopted out of foster care deserves a family who are willing and ready to give 100%. Not all infertile couples are there emotionally.

It's not the responsibility of the infertile community to rescue the orphans of the world, and I say that as an adopted person myself.

And while I might not share DNA with my donor-conceived child, epigenetics means that my body will help determine what physical characteristics express themselves.

[kathrinethegirl]

I’m really thankful to all those ladies who tried to answer to post, Mistique. People who haven’t faced infertility would never understand the woman who tries to become pregnant and can’t actually do this. Your advice wasn’t a polite one. I really want to become pregnant and see how it is to carry and give birth to a child. If it wasn’t my dream, I would have never dealt with a fertility clinic. I know that the baby may not resemble me, but he would resemble my dear hubby whom I love greatly. In addition, the clinic promised to show us the donor’s 3D photo if we sing up a contract with them. I think it’s better than just read a short profile.

[bootsorhearts]

Good luck with your journey kathrinethegirl, if you know you are making the right choice that is the only thing that matters. Haters gonna hate. ;-)

[missrose2017]

Hi, ladies! Kathrinethegirl, as far as I understood, you’ve got interested in a Ukrainian clinic. Aren’t you afraid to go there? As far as I know, it’s not a peaceful place nowadays…
P.S. I’ve asked you such questions as I’m also interested in going to Ukraine for a reproductive treatment. We still hesitate whether to go there or not… My DH says it’s not the best place to visit at present…

[kathrinethegirl]

Hi, missrose! We visited Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. It was rather peaceful. We quite liked it. It seems to be modern and old at the same time. It’s very cheap btw. We didn’t have to look for an accommodation or hire a car as the clinic provided as both with an apartment and the personal driver. I would advise to google more information about Ukraine. Maybe, the clinic you’ve got interested can provide you with the same services.

[missrose2017]

Kathrinethegirl, thanks for your feedback about Ukraine. I have one more question to you. What kind of eggs are you going to use for your ED IVF? Some fertility clinics offer fresh eggs. They are considered to be more effective than frozen ones. The clinic we’ve got interested offers both frozen and fresh ones. Now we have to decide which one to choose…
P.S. I ask such a question as ED IVF with fresh eggs is more expensive than with frozen ones.

[kathrinethegirl]

As far as I know you may use both fresh and frozen oocytes for your ED IVF. My gyny told us that fresh eggs are much better. They give better success chances. Frozen eggs are also considered to be ok, but they require a certain level of expertise from the fertility specialist who would work with them. Unfortunately, not all fertility specialists know how to handle such kind of eggs correctly. As far as I know when the oocytes are frozen, they become damaged in some way. We’re going to use fresh eggs. If we sign up a contract with the clinic, the fertility specialist will study my menstrual cycle and determine the best date for the embryos transfer. My hubby’s sperm will be picked up and used to fertilize the donor’s oocutes. Then three embryos will be transferred into my uterus. I will have to take hormone medications to support my possible pregnancy. In two weeks the first pregnancy test should be done. If it’s a positive one, I will have to take some hormone medicines up to the twelfth week of pregnancy. This the way ED IVF with fresh eggs is done in [DELETED]. However, I think this procedure is a standard one. You may check this on the net, hun.

[missrose2017]

Hun, you’ve described a standard DE IVF with fresh eggs. As far as I know, nearly all fertility clinics do it in this way. There isn’t anything special about it… However, did they ask you to do any additional tests for your DE IVF. Some clinics do this to charge additional fees. What about the clinic you’ve got interested in? Did they do the same?

[kathrinethegirl]

I don’t think they would charge any additional fees for their services. We have to sign up a contract with them. According to this contract, the clinic will charge a fixed sum. As we’re going to book several shots, the sum we’ll be divided into several installments. We’ll be able to make the payments either in cash or via a bank transfer. This is the way they charge the fees for their services. What do you think about it?

[goldensnake]

Hi, there! Kathrinethegirl, would you please share the list of the tests the clinic requires? I have a tough PCOS. We’ve been TTC for nearly 4 years without any positive results. I had an ovarian drilling, but it didn’t work with me. I’m sick and tired of all those treatments. This is the main reason why we want to try ED.

[kathrinethegirl]

Hi, goldensnake! Nice to meet you, dear! I think the list of the tests they require is quite standard. I did some blood and hormone tests. They also required me to do several ultrasound checks. My hubby did a sperm test. I would advise you to visit their official website to check the list of the tests they require. You may also find there the samples of the contracts they offer their clients to sign up.

[goldensnake]

Thanks for the clue, Kathrinethegirl. I did visited their official website the other days and found the list of the tests they require there. Hun, have you made up your mind what to do further? Will you you deal with them or not?
P.S. My DH and I liked the egg donation packages they offer. I’m just curious to know what you’re going to do further.

[kathrinethegirl]

We visited the clinic one more time the previous month. I should say that they tried their best to make our visit more comfortable this time. We dealt with a new program manager. She seemed to be so sweet. We didn’t have to wait much time in the queues this time and it was so exciting. We signed up a contract with them, and I’m going to have FET next month. Frankly speaking, I feel a little bit nervous about it now.

[goldensnake]

Hi, Kathrinethegirl. I’m really happy about you. It’s great that your DE IVF journey started at last. I liked the fact that the clinic’s reps managed to fix their faults. At least, it may mean that they are real professionals. So have you already gone to Kiev? Looking forward to read your updates!!!

[kathrinethegirl]

We came from Kiev a week ago. I did have a FET. I don’t know the results yet, as there is one more week to wait, but I think something has changed in my body. I started to eat more than I used to eat the previous month. I think my breast has become more sensitive. Maybe, these are the first signs of pregnancy. What do you think about it?

[tinywoman]

I think it really might be the first signs of pregnancy. I used to have the same when I got pregnant with my first son. All started with a great appetite. My bf and I were walking along the street, when I suddenly felt that I’m dying from hunger. I also started to feel that my breasts are becoming bigger. But all these things started after I did my pregnancy tests. They all showed positive results.

[kathrinethegirl]

Tinywoman, thanks for your post! So I did a test and… I got a BFP result. Yeah, I’m pregnant!!! I feel so happy right now!!! My hubby too!!! When I showed him a test, he started to cry. He was so touched that I didn’t even expect him to react in such a way…

[dani]

Hi there I think it doesn't matter if a clinic is crowded or not, the thing which matters is how your treatment will take place. I have seen many couples at first complaining about these issues about the clinics but later on living their journey in a respective clinic.So I think you should think about the long terms. Do talk with common people of the area. They will surely help you more about the clinics.Good Luck