Telling your employer

[jessa1228]

When do you plan on telling your employer? Or have you already?

With DS I told pretty early on because I couldn't hide my morning (aka all day) sickness. I think I was around 7ish weeks. This time I'm tempted to wait until after my 12 week scan, except that I'm having a really hard time hiding this "blump".

[PepperPottsJ]

Nope nope nopety nope for me. I'll go as long as I possibly can without sharing, although changes to a work trip I'm planning may be a dead give away...

[yoshijo28]

My immediate boss knows. We're really close so he knew about the FET and assumed it was good news based on my mood.

I'll tell my higher boss after the NT scan. It's awkward, I thought about having my boss do it.

I need to travel to TX in the middle of Feb so I want to let them know before just so they know I may not always be free to travel.

I don't even know how to tell my team (I'm a manager). I don't want to seem AWish and I remember how much it stung when I learned people at work were pregnant. I know that's kind of dumb but I don't want to make anyone feel upset.

[jt2378]

Yeah this is tough, I want to hold off as long as possible at least through first tri but depending on how ill I am all day it might not work out!

[maddisonrose]

I work in a family business with my dad and my sister so obviously they all know. I don't really have to tell anyone but I might let a few of my team members know so I can work on having my projects squared up and ready to go in advance.

[saltandvinegar]

I'm planning on telling at the end of the first tri if I can hide it that long. One of my coworkers is out on maternity leave and she is coming back early/mid Feb. I would like to tell everyone when she gets back so that she's here for the news. I will tell my immediate supervisor first. My plan is to write "FYI going to need maternity leave around 8/31. K Thanks" on a paper airplane and zoom it into his office. He gets jokingly upset when we talk about people having to take so much time off for babies (he's not a baby/kid person). Then the next morning I will probably get a couple dozen donuts to share the news with the rest of the office.

[violajack]

I have a meeting with my principal this afternoon. It was scheduled before I knew I was pregnant because I wasn't feeling good in this role anyway and wanted to talk through some things. I was supposed to get much more administrative support than I've gotten and I was feeling pretty abandoned, but it's because the poor principal has just been hiring all year. The previous music teacher's husband got an out of town job offer and she put in her two weeks notice on the 1st day of school. The art teacher moved away over winter break. There are two teachers going out on maternity leave this spring. The swim instructor quit back in November. We're on our third office manager. And this is a small private school, they don't even have a very big sub list to pull from to cover anyone. And then I'm going to walk into today and let her know I'm not coming back next year. At least this is plenty of warning and nothing she'll have to hire for immediately.

It'll be a much different meeting than I had originally planned on, and the timing is awkward because my first appointment isn't until tomorrow. But I want to be upfront with what's going on. I also need to withdraw my son's Kinder application. If I'm not working, we can't afford (and don't need) private school.

I'm not going public to the whole school yet though, and I'm not telling the director of the other orchestra program I teach at yet. Although, I'll probably tell my assistant sooner since she'll likely take on most of my role next year. Not sure when I'll do that. I don't think I'm going to go for an NT scan this time around, so perhaps it'll just be when I can't hide under loose tunics and leggings anymore. I'm hoping to make it to Marchish.

[salmon2017]

I plan to tell the lady who sits next to me when I start to get nauseous I might need her to cover for me! I won't tell my supervisor until I am out of the first tri. Last time I didn't start properly showing till about 18 weeks so I am hoping 13 weeks will be ok this time.

[nutmeg8484]

I told my boss on Monday because it's notoriously difficult to get people in to do my job and I'm not planning on coming back full time. I'm going to drop down to per-diem because no one can afford full-time daycare for 2.

I found out today that my boss was let go because of a hospital merger. So I guess I'll have to tell someone else at some point? I think they will be restructuring the lab anyway and I hopefully won't have to deal with it.

[Deleted]

I told my immediate boss last week. There are a few patient populations I can't care for while pregnant (influenza, for example). Also, I was really sick last time. And we are expanding our unit by almost double in Sept, so I figured the earlier she knows she'll be down a nurse during that time, the better.

[mrshall1027]

I run a business with my husband and dad, so I don't have to worry about that part. I'm more concerned about telling my employees. I just don't want any extra attention.

[yoshijo28]

Jan 7, 2017 9:55:32 GMT -5 mrshall1027 said:

I run a business with my husband and dad, so I don't have to worry about that part. I'm more concerned about telling my employees. I just don't want any extra attention.

Thats how I feel. Employer is easier than the employees

[mominthemaking14]

I'm not telling til end of January/ early February I just want to be further along. I haven't even told all my family and friends yet.

[jessa1228]

I ended up telling my manager and assistant manager yesterday because I saw that people were already putting in for vacations in August, plus we're getting ready to open a new branch in November and I think I may be a part of that. I don't plan on telling my coworkers until after my next appt in the beginning of February, unless they figure it out before then.

[muscari]

Originally I hadn't planned on telling work until I passed all our loss milestones and preferably not until 2nd trimester. However, like at jessa1228 's work, my supervisor started planning for July/August and I felt it was unfair for them to think they could schedule me fulltime (or at all..) then having to redo the schedule lateron, since we already have a hard time with team availability and understaffing. Also, since I work at the hospital, I was starting to get worried about handling certain patients while pregnant, so figured it was better to tell sooner rather then later, so no eyebrows would be raised etc.

So I planned on pulling her apart some time this week to let her know. However she surprised me the other day by asking whether we wanted kids of our own (I've only been at my current job since December 1st and the topic -luckily- never came up before). Well I couldn't really nót tell after she asked that heh. I answered that we indeed really would like to have children, that we had had losses and trouble conceiving due to DOR and POF, but that much to our surprise we actually managed to get pregnant recently.. I had been worried about the response as I felt bad falling pregnant so soon after starting - we had just started our 2nd IVF cycle just prior to me applying for this job, and I hadn't mentioned this during interviewing as well, obvious reasons I guess, my first weeks at the new job fell in the TWW heh - but she responded so enthusiastic! Hugged me and said she was so incredibly happy for us, and not to worry about scheduling stuff etc, they'd figure it out. Timing ended up being great, as a patient with a ESBL bacterial infection came in that afternoon so I could skip out on that one without issues phew. I will also tell my other supervisor so he'll know why I may skip out on some patients etc, but won't tell the rest of the team until we feel more confident about the pregnancy so probably after our NT scan?

[violajack]

I totally cheated and got off the hook when my son wasn't feeling well and had to be picked up from school right after lunch (before the planned meeting) so I had to take care of him and reschedule the meeting with my principal. I made it through a major gig without telling bandmates and two more classes with my other orchestra program without telling anyone. But I had a good ultrasound, so I suppose I'm ready to break the news if it comes up. I just don't know when it might come up now. Might be a while.

[yoshijo28]

muscari ah I'm so happy your supervisor was excited for you! And that when someone asked if you want kids you had some good news to share!! I know that question could usually be a stinger

[yellowcat]

Wow so any of you have/are telling early! Last time around I waited until 18 weeks. I did go to HR after our NT scan bur did not tell my department or Dean until later. I basically waited until they were setting the next semesters schedule. I plan to do the same the same this time around. It is a hard decision.

[bsouls]

I told my supervisor early last time, because she knew I wanted a baby and I figured if I had a loss then I'd need time off.

This time I'm more scared about a loss, but don't know how to tell my new supervisor. We don't have scheduled weekly or monthly meetings, so I'd pretty much have to go into her office to tell her. I think I will until I know when my NT scan is and maybe tell her after by showing the ultrasound picture. Unless it comes up sooner - the office knows I was interested in having another kid.