akraus2015 first of all...the peddlers of those MLM products drive me crazy...my friend's neighbor is a super sweet woman but if she "suggests" I try the same thing again...which I hate, btw...I'm gonna punch her. That aside...it's tough if YH isn't getting why you're annoyed. It's not just that he spends all that time with them, it's also that she has no boundaries and they seem to want to be part of your family! I wonder if she's missing out on having a baby now that she has a teen and so she wants to kind of experience it all again? Something like that? I feel like a few more turned down invites will give her the hint? I hope so at least! Or maybe if you make a plan with them a few weeks in the future and sort of suggest you're busy so you want to get something on the calendar...in a few weeks...they'll give you some space until that time?
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
akraus2015 first of all...the peddlers of those MLM products drive me crazy...my friend's neighbor is a super sweet woman but if she "suggests" I try the same thing again...which I hate, btw...I'm gonna punch her. That aside...it's tough if YH isn't getting why you're annoyed. It's not just that he spends all that time with them, it's also that she has no boundaries and they seem to want to be part of your family! I wonder if she's missing out on having a baby now that she has a teen and so she wants to kind of experience it all again? Something like that? I feel like a few more turned down invites will give her the hint? I hope so at least! Or maybe if you make a plan with them a few weeks in the future and sort of suggest you're busy so you want to get something on the calendar...in a few weeks...they'll give you some space until that time?
She doesn't even sell the product...she just uses it, which is even more weird to me! I think they're definitely feeling the missing out on having a baby. They know all about our IF and loss issues, and while they've never said anything directly about their own situation, I know they both want a baby together (their daughter is from when Sue was a teenager) but aren't having one for whatever reason. I don't want to hurt their feelings because they ARE our friends, but boundaries need to be had. Unfortunately I don't think anything will change until H understands how I feel. I almost want to tell him to try to limit our Bob and Sue time to one or two weekends a month. Does that sound terrible of me? I like your idea of suggesting plans in the future. Maybe something like "I hope you guys understand that I'm still getting used to being newly pregnant and feeling like I need H all to myself as we get used to the idea of our new family dynamics. I'll start feeling much better soon and I know I'll have some energy back in a few weeks...let's plan a night out for next month sometime!" What do you think?
akraus2015 I think that's perfect and that limit sounds COMPLETELY reasonable! And the making a plan in the future makes it less "rejection" and more...I'm so excited to hang out with you...in a few weeks...
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
akraus2015 I think that's perfect and that limit sounds COMPLETELY reasonable! And the making a plan in the future makes it less "rejection" and more...I'm so excited to hang out with you...in a few weeks...
Thank you! Sometimes it just helps to get another persons perspective on a situation. Now how do I help my husband understand that I don't need him sitting here watching me sleep or puke, but I also don't want him spending every spare second with Bob & Sue?
akraus2015 I think that's perfect and that limit sounds COMPLETELY reasonable! And the making a plan in the future makes it less "rejection" and more...I'm so excited to hang out with you...in a few weeks...
Thank you! Sometimes it just helps to get another persons perspective on a situation. Now how do I help my husband understand that I don't need him sitting here watching me sleep or puke, but I also don't want him spending every spare second with Bob & Sue?
That's tough...in my normal life I'm the one who always wants to go out and do stuff and MH can only handle other people intermittently. It took him telling and showing me this a number of times before I got it...I guess I'd say. Try telling him in different ways? Maybe he's not hearing your "why"?
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
Thank you! Sometimes it just helps to get another persons perspective on a situation. Now how do I help my husband understand that I don't need him sitting here watching me sleep or puke, but I also don't want him spending every spare second with Bob & Sue?
That's tough...in my normal life I'm the one who always wants to go out and do stuff and MH can only handle other people intermittently. It took him telling and showing me this a number of times before I got it...I guess I'd say. Try telling him in different ways? Maybe he's not hearing your "why"?
I'm not sure I know my "why" either. I'm usually such a fun and social person, but being pregnant changes things a little bit. I tired a lot. It takes a lot of my energy just to be at work all week. And maybe I'm feeling a little needy?
Anyway...thanks for listening and providing such good advice. I appreciate it!
That's tough...in my normal life I'm the one who always wants to go out and do stuff and MH can only handle other people intermittently. It took him telling and showing me this a number of times before I got it...I guess I'd say. Try telling him in different ways? Maybe he's not hearing your "why"?
I'm not sure I know my "why" either. I'm usually such a fun and social person, but being pregnant changes things a little bit. I tired a lot. It takes a lot of my energy just to be at work all week. And maybe I'm feeling a little needy?
Anyway...thanks for listening and providing such good advice. I appreciate it!
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
akraus2015 sorry you're in a tough spot. Instead of telling your H to limit his time with B & S, which might make him feel like you are being controlling, could you explain that you need space from them (or S in particular) and that you don't think you can achieve that without the two of you taking a breather from them together as a couple, and that you would really appreciate his help? I imagine the dynamic is a bit different when your H is hanging out with just B as opposed to B & S together, whether or not you are there, and it sounds like it's S feeling so close to your H and therefore you two as a couple that is causing you to feel smothered, so maybe you can compromise by telling H that he can still spend time with B but that you think it would be helpful if he declined hanging out with both of them when you don't feel like hanging out as couples (or at least some of the time).
And I think that is a perfectly reasonable "why" and it's okay to tell your H that you would like a little more time for the two of you. You are going through a lot of changes both physically and emotionally and it's okay to admit to feeling needy and I'm sure that your H would be sympathetic.
Thanks PirateCat. I definitely don't want to be that controlling wife, but you're right, I do need him to help me out with this...I need him to be on my team on this one.
Post by silvermelody on Jan 7, 2017 16:54:43 GMT -5
I've been busy organizing baby stuff all day. All the freebies have been sorted by size. All the newborn and 0-3 stuff has been de-tagged and is in the wash.
I also finally went through a bin of stuff for DS that a friend gave me months ago. Mostly 4-5T but some 2-3T (he's in 2T now). So that feels good to be done.
We're currently watching the Raiders hopefully win their first playoff game in 14 years. With their third string quarterback
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
ETA: posted too soon and thought I had edited, heh. I started knitting a blanket for SIL's new baby. It takes me a long time to knit blankets but she's not due until end of May so hopefully I'll have plenty of time to knit at my leisure. I'm excited to get back into knitting, and TV- watching.
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
We bet on the whole weekend of games...loser owes winner three course meal
Nice. Do you get to request the meal?
Yup winner picks meal. If I win, I'm going to have him make me fish and chips (he makes the BEST) with these pumpkin bars for dessert...just need to think of an app. Of course...I first need to win.
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
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