Feeding babyJan 15, 2017 15:57:48 GMT -5via mobile
Post by flyinghorses6 on Jan 15, 2017 15:57:48 GMT -5
Attempting to start some new discussions as we near our due dates/full term.
Curious as to what everyone's feeding plans are for baby. Breast, bottle, both, exclusive pumping, making it up as you go along? If breastfeeding- do you have any goals set for how long? STM+ what were your experiences with previous baby/babies?
Obviously things don't always go perfectly as planned--but just curious what everyone's thinking.
My last BMB had an awesome support thread for breastfeeding. And honestly up until about ten minutes ago I haven't thought much about feeding this baby, because i assume it should be just like DD1....right?
While I'd love to breastfeed, it hasn't worked out well with either of my other kids, so I'm not putting too much pressure on myself to be successful at it this time. I'll probably exclusively pump, unless LO has some health issue that complicates things in which case we'll supplement with formula. G had really horrible reflux, where despite meds for her and diet changes on my part, she was vomitting a lot and losing weight. The only thing she could keep down was formula and a dose of ranitidine (baby zantac). I am massively hoping we don't have to go through that again.
Well, I was just panicking because I couldn't find our bottles, so.
Here's what we did last time, and I hope to mirror it pretty similarly. Hopefully baby will agree.
I breastfed, but DS was not gaining weight because my milk took forever to come in. The pedi asked me to consider formula -- done. Baby needs to be fed and growing. We used Similac for Supplementation, and in the early days, we offered an ounce after every other feeding.
A couple weeks into life with a newborn, I realized DH was getting significantly more sleep than I was because he went to bed when I started the 10pm feed. I was exhausted and BFing was not coming easily, so my LC recommended that I pump at night and let DH do some bottle feeding. I do not think she meant this as a long term thing, but we did it as a long term thing. I pumped every night, and DH gave a bottle. We also continued to supplement with 2oz of formula a night to make sure there was enough milk for daycare bottles and other bottles and the freezer. Supplementing brought me such peace of mind -- like a weight was lifted off me. So he was primarily breast fed, but I knew he could take formula. It alleviated the pressure of pumping.
At a year, we switched to cow's milk, but I continue to nurse during the day. I nursed him once a day for months and finally stopped at 18 months.
I have no goals or anything like that. I think it's best to take breastfeeding one day at a time because there's no real reason to set yourself up for disappointment if things don't work out. Why beat yourself up? Fed is best. So I'd like to BF for another 18 months, but I don't know if that's feasible. If it isn't, I'll do it as long as I can and be very happy and proud of that.
Feeding babyJan 15, 2017 16:31:08 GMT -5via mobile
Post by EmMilAlly on Jan 15, 2017 16:31:08 GMT -5
I am planning to breastfeed again, but I won't be afraid to introduce a bottle or formula once in a while. Last time I was so freaked by some of the BF-ing advice I got (some IRL, some from "experts" on this board) that I put too much pressure on myself. Now I know the occasional bottle of formula won't ruin my supply even if I don't pump during that feed, and I want to introduce pumped bottles earlier since I eventually have to go back to work. I waited too long last time out of fear of nipple confusion and then it was a NIGHTMARE to get him to drink from a bottle. So, I plan to BF but am going to be more flexible. If formula seems like a better option at any point (baby's health or my mental health) we'll do that too/instead.
I was actually talking to H about this last night. We were laughing because we went a year without having used the word nipple, and now it's back in regular rotation!
I'll put this out there, too: please do not torture yourself mentally or physically to meet an "ideal" when there are perfectly viable other solutions. Raising a child is hard enough without putting that level of pressure on yourself.
I'm exclusively formula feeding. We picked up a few different bottles to try and we'll use whatever formula they have at the hospital. I'm a little sad to miss out on breastfeeding but I forgot to take my meds one night and the next day was a disaster. I'd have to come off them to breastfeed and I just can't. I wouldn't be able to function to take care of an infant. I keep telling myself that getting her fed and being able to care for her is the most important thing. Hopefully eventually that will sink in.
I'm exclusively formula feeding. We picked up a few different bottles to try and we'll use whatever formula they have at the hospital. I'm a little sad to miss out on breastfeeding but I forgot to take my meds one night and the next day was a disaster. I'd have to come off them to breastfeed and I just can't. I wouldn't be able to function to take care of an infant. I keep telling myself that getting her fed and being able to care for her is the most important thing. Hopefully eventually that will sink in.
It absolutely more important to care for yourself in this way. Fed is best, and your baby will be fed.
There are so, so, so many times when you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. This is a really good example. You taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your family and your baby.
Post by oldbaylover1024 on Jan 15, 2017 16:54:08 GMT -5
I've honestly been freaking out about this. I've mentioned before that I had a severe oversupply issue with J. We BF for 15 months and (honestly) it was 75% torture. My boobs exploded with psoriasis and yeast infections, the oversupply caused clogged ducts and lots of pain, I never felt full relief, I leaked all the time... it was bad. She also overate a lot so she was a puker. Like, exorcist style puker all the time. Again, we made it 15 months, but I desperately wanted to quit at 6. I had immense pressure IRL to continue so I did. We introduced whole milk at about a year and she took it fine. But she still wanted to boob. A lot.
In hindsight I wish I had moved to exclusively pumping at 6 months. Even when I was nursing J full time, I had to pump 4-5x/day at work for relief (so in an 8-hr period). I tried slowing down and developed clogged ducts. Believe me when I say I saw every LC and BF group I had available for help. So frustrating!
If this time is the same oversupply issues, we're going to exclusively pump. I can't handle the pain again. And the pressure I got from society for having such a "wonderful" problem sucked. A lot. Everyone assumes oversupply made it easier for us - when it really didn't at all.
I'm also not above FF if it's all too much. I'm playing it by ear. And now as a STM, I am not taking advice with the same guilt/shame as before. Opinions be damned - fed is best. Period.
PAL May '17 Siggy Challenge: Picnics - Feminist Picnic
Two MM/C 1/09/12 & MM/C 4/26/12 BFP#3 - Rainbow #1 born 5/11/13 via unplanned C-section Two CP 11/23/15 & 5/13/16 BFP#6 - Rainbow #2 born 2/10/17 via planned C-section
Post by flyinghorses6 on Jan 15, 2017 17:15:41 GMT -5
I completely agree fed is best! I work with moms in those first few days and it sucks seeing them struggle so much to actually breastfeed, and also to make decisions on how to feed their babies. It's not fair how much guilt is placed on us as new mothers.
With K I exclusively breastfed for 7 months including bottles of pumped milk while I was at work/in the mornings when I was sleeping. Once she slept through the night (4.5 months) I quit pumping because I work nights and barely had time/absolutely hated pumping. So we burned through our stored milk pretty quickly. We started introducing formula at that point while I wasn't there for feeds, and breastfeeding all other times. By 7 months I couldn't get her to nurse at all. She was just playing and doing acrobatics, and sucking down bottles. So I stopped, fed formula and solids, and switched to whole milk at 1 year.
Also, I held on to more weight that I thought I would of until she self weaned so I am hoping that doesn't happen this time. Especially where I wasn't the typical ravenous breastfeeding mom. I had to remember to eat. I was bummed the weight wasn't just falling off like people say happens when you breastfeed (although this is true for some women).
This time I plan to breastfeed again. I would like to make it at least as long as I did with K. But we will see how it goes. If shorter that's ok, if longer that's ok. I can't see myself nursing longer than a year...but once again I will have to see how it goes.
Post by oldbaylover1024 on Jan 15, 2017 17:19:10 GMT -5
Ugh, good point, flyinghorses6. I didn't drop weight EBF either. And I wasn't ravenous. The weight just didn't move*.
*not that I think weight loss should be a BF motivator. A healthier diet and more exercise would have probably done it for me. But I was exhausted and dealing with some PPD/PPA and not motivated to help myself.
PAL May '17 Siggy Challenge: Picnics - Feminist Picnic
Two MM/C 1/09/12 & MM/C 4/26/12 BFP#3 - Rainbow #1 born 5/11/13 via unplanned C-section Two CP 11/23/15 & 5/13/16 BFP#6 - Rainbow #2 born 2/10/17 via planned C-section
Feeding babyJan 15, 2017 18:30:35 GMT -5via mobile
Post by musicallyinclined on Jan 15, 2017 18:30:35 GMT -5
We ebf except when I was on meds to pass a kidney stone when DS was 8 weeks. It was 7 days of torture for everyone. I also have an oversupply issue. I got mastitis several times and couldn't go without pumping even if I was with DS all day. That said he just stopped one day around 13 months. Weaning was a nightmare for me, I got mastitis and had a hard time drying up.
All said I plan to breastfeed for as long as this baby wants but if he doesn't take to it, I'm ok with feeding him what he needs to grow and be happy. I have a lot less stress associated with it this time.
Ugh, good point, flyinghorses6. I didn't drop weight EBF either. And I wasn't ravenous. The weight just didn't move*.
*not that I think weight loss should be a BF motivator. A healthier diet and more exercise would have probably done it for me. But I was exhausted and dealing with some PPD/PPA and not motivated to help myself.
I completely agree. But I know there are health benefits for both mom and baby with breastfeeding. So I selfishly want to reap ALL the benefits. Also, I WAS exercising and was eating relatively well. It's like my body just wanted to hold on to it. Once she weaned it started to come off. But I had to work for it.
staz I was one of the lucky twin moms who could produce plenty of milk to feed both babies, but it made me miserable and I didn't feel like I could care for my babies and breastfeed at the same time. A happy mama is better than breast milk for the baby.
oldbaylover1024 I *hated* leaking everywhere. That was one of the many reasons I quit last time.
Primary plan is to exclusively formula feed since trying to BF last time was a nightmare for many reasons. I've been considering casually BFing, though, as in one baby at a time and maybe not *every* feed. Very little to no pumping. Milk comes in anyhow, right? So I may as well use it while it's there and if it dries up, we're done BFing.
Question for STM+: Will this completely screw with my hormones? Is there a minimum time you'd recommend BFing so I'm not on a complete hormonal roller coaster?
I am *not* pumping every 3 hours while trying to also feed them at the breast every three hours. While that works really well for supply, it sucks the life out of me. No good for the kids to have a mama who just wants to crawl in bed and cry.
Post by billybumbler on Jan 15, 2017 20:04:04 GMT -5
With DD I was able to EBF to 6 months. When I went back to work at almost seven months I didn't have a good setup to pump at work so she had formula while I was gone but I kept BFing until 10 months or so.
While on ML I pumped occasionally to keep a small stash for when I was gone and she was with relatives or sitters. She always switched between bottle and breast with no problem.
It was so important for me to have a pedi that was very knowledgeable about breastfeeding - she taught me things like put DD on the breast every two hours and when to pump to increase my supply.
If you have access to a lactation consultant or doctor who knows a lot about breastfeeding they can help you through most things that make you wanna quit. But if you wanna quit that's obviously totally fine.
Post by billybumbler on Jan 15, 2017 20:05:32 GMT -5
With this baby I'd love to BF a little longer - honestly I loved it and hope I can pump at work this time around so I can make it longer. But it's not something I worry about.
Feeding babyJan 15, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5
With LO1 I set mini goals for Bf which helped me. Try/6 weeks/maternity leave/6months/1 year. We BF for 15 months and weaned due to a 10 day vacay DH and I were taking.
Since this PG is twins I'm going in with a similar mentality. Try and see if I can actually feed 2 babies. If yes then I'll start my mini goals and go from there!
Post by zcookiemonster on Jan 15, 2017 20:58:22 GMT -5
Oh I love this thread. I also agree fed is best and I will do whatever I have to this time to have a healthy baby! Having said that, my preference is to breastfeed again. And I know there is a lot of benefit to it but to be honest formula seems so overwhelming to me! So many brands and different kinds and bottles, bfing just seemed easier so that's a big reason I pushed for being ebf. Last time we had a hard time latching and I used a shield. At exactly 3 months DS literally took it and spit it out then latched perfectly and we continued to Bf until he was almost 27 mo (I was a few mo pregnant). And I was pretty proud we made it that long. I plan to go as long as this LO wants to again. I started doing some pumping around 3 mo and he did take bottles but refused those around 8 mo. So I was really lucky I have a flexible job and could come home to feed. I'm hoping all goes well with bf again but will def look for support for bfing or for formula if that doesn't work.
Post by wildflower810 on Jan 15, 2017 21:33:25 GMT -5
With DS1, I exclusively breastfed, and weaned at 14.5 months. We introduced solids at 6 months, and he took a bottle of bm maybe twice, ever?
We had a really, really tough time starting. Oversupply, flat nipples, baby wouldn't latch, you name it. I cried, a lot. We used a shield for 4 months and he never did latch on my right side properly, so we nursed off of my left side only. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't glorious. But I made my goals and am really really happy with how we did.
My goal with this baby is to again nurse until a year without attempting to wean (though obviously he will be nursing less at 12 months than at 12 days!), then gently wean from there. My additional goal is to nurse on both sides. I did not like being sooo lopsided and having no relief when he was biting.
I do have the advantage of being a SAHM and so I never had to figure out pumping or bottles. I did every single motn feed ever... but I also learned how to nurse in bed and with DS1 in a bed right next to us I was able to get him, nurse, and put him back without ever getting out of bed. I'm honestly not sure if having H do bottles at night would have helped me? I'm a light sleeper and would have been waking up anyway.
Post by coffeeonice on Jan 15, 2017 21:40:13 GMT -5
With DD1 I nursed her till 15 months, when she basically weaned herself. I pumped almost immediately due to dd being jaundiced. She was so lethargic she would barely nurse and her numbers were getting worse. So I pumped and got her bottles early on to fill her up. But whenever I was with her I nursed after she got better. Pumping at work for 12 months really wore me out, but I made it to exactly her birthday and quit cold turkey. I'm 100% nervous about making time to pump at home and work with dd1 taking my time. It was hard enough to convince myself to pump when I only had one little taking my time and energy.
I do fully intend to bf an entire year and beyond again. Even with any issues we had, clogged ducts/mastitis nearly monthly and various nursing issues, I loved breastfeeding and am very much looking forward to it again.
Post by littleredfish on Jan 15, 2017 23:20:19 GMT -5
I plan to EBF/pump again. I want to set a goal of 1yr but my girls both self weaned; my first at 8 months and my second just before 11 months. We did BLW for solids and once they really got on to it they gave up on the boob. So while I was sad they gave up on me, I've resigned to the fact that I can't control everything. This time though I want to try to dedicate more time to pumping so I have a stash. I never really bothered with my others since I have he 1yr mat leave in Canada so I wasn't worried about going back to work without a huge stash, but I'd like to keep up with it so I can give BM in a cup longer this time even though whole milk was fine for my girls.
Last time I set mini goals, get started, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year. My N15 board did a BF check in which was great for motivation and support when things got hard.
With DD we bf'd for 14 months. It was a wonderful, frustrating, fulfilling marathon full of sacrifice and stubbornness.
My first 5 weeks of ebf'ing were not fun. DD had a horrible latch from the word go and I had blood blisters, a clogged duct, and lots of pain. I dreaded every feeding. I saw an LC and life improved. As DDs mouth got bigger, bf'ing became more comfortable and less torture. It was sheer stubbornness on my part to not throw in the towel.
I pumped 3x a day at work from 3 -11 months. It was not easy to carve out that time in the work day, but I managed.
At 12 months we started introducing wcm and weaned fully at 14. I plan to do all of the same with DS.
I'm also happy to report that with DS I'm finding a lot of the hard ground work was laid by DD. My milk came in faster his time around and I understand how to get DS latched well, despite his short tongue. We're off to a much better start!
Post by shawnabm1320 on Jan 16, 2017 6:46:25 GMT -5
With DS we BF until around 14 months. Once he started walking he was hard to get to sit still for nursing anymore - and let's be honest, my nipples hated nursing him while pregnant. We had significant challenges during the first 6 weeks, including a tongue and lip tie, having to use a shield, having a LC that freaked me out about losing my supply if I didn't pump after every nursing session (since I was using a shield), long marathon nursing sessions because he didn't latch well, etc. I hated it at first, but am stubborn (and cheap - I didn't want to pay for formula since I was SAH!), so I decided we were sticking with it. No one else pressure me (except grandma to give him cereal in his bottle at like 4 weeks old...which I did not do). We got his ties revised at 6 days old, had to figure out a different position for him to nurse in, and he dropped the shield around 5/6 weeks, so things were much better after that. I actually started enjoying it around 4/5 months. Ha!
With this LO, we plan to do the same. I'm not leaving the hospital until someone checks her for a lip and tongue tie, and we will stop at the plastic surgeons place on the way home if we have to. I wish I was kidding
I was worried about nipple confusion too, and couldn't figure out how to get my kid to take a pacifier for a long time, but I think I will try both of those things earlier. One advantage of sahm-ness for me was that it wasn't a huge deal if DS didn't like taking bottles. He took enough to keep him from starving if I wasn't there, and if I was with him I just nursed him in public (with a cover). I'd like to nurse this baby a little longer, assuming we don't try for a third in the same timeline.
Post by billybumbler on Jan 16, 2017 7:22:05 GMT -5
For those of you who are FTMs I would also steer clear of most people's advice. If you have a knowledgeable professional who is helping you, try to ignore everyone else. Breastfeeding is something it seems like everyone has an opinion on but much of it is outdated or doesn't apply to you. Practice smiling and nodding!
For those of you who are FTMs I would also steer clear of most people's advice. If you have a knowledgeable professional who is helping you, try to ignore everyone else. Breastfeeding is something it seems like everyone has an opinion on but much of it is outdated or doesn't apply to you. Practice smiling and nodding!
Totally agree! And every single baby/momma combo is unique. What works for some won't work for others. Every single person will have an opinion and advice. Smile and nod, and do whatever you think is best.
I BF and supplemented with formula for about 4 months with DD until fully switching for formula. She had latching issues and we had to use a shield which was a pain in the ass. Also, I got laid off while I was on maternity leave last time and was interviewing/job searching during my last month and a half of leave. I think the stress of that plus trying to BF was too much. I started my new job when DD was 3 months old and we weaned during that month. Honestly we were all much happier once we switched to formula.
With this one I'd like to make it to 3 months and then pump at work and nurse in the morning/night for however long it seems best. I am going to be relaxed about it like I was with DD. If I feel like the baby needs some formula then baby will get formula. If BFing isn't working out then we will wean and switch to formula. We're just going to play it by ear.
ETA: I had the opposite issue from a lot of you. I had family pressuring me to FF instead of BF. DH and I were both formula babies and MIL and others had opinions that our baby should be the same. Not insane pressure or anything but every time I would complain about BFing there would be comments like "Well just stop and FF. It's much easier" Etc. Etc.
I plan on trying breastfeeding again. It worked out really well with my son (we breastfed until a little over a year) so I have my fingers crossed that it'll go well again.
I was FF but H was BF. MIL was talking to me on the phone the other day and said something about how I'm going to be doing all of the night feedings because H will be returning to work after 3 weeks (and he "needs his sleep"). I almost spit out blood from biting my tongue so hard. One of the benefits of FF is that H can get up MOTN too! So H and I talked and he laughed when I asked him if he plans on getting up. He was all "Um, yeah, it's my baby too? Why wouldn't I if we're formula feeding?" and I remembered why I fell in love with him in the first place. So yay!
For those of you who are FTMs I would also steer clear of most people's advice. If you have a knowledgeable professional who is helping you, try to ignore everyone else. Breastfeeding is something it seems like everyone has an opinion on but much of it is outdated or doesn't apply to you. Practice smiling and nodding!
Totally agree! And every single baby/momma combo is unique. What works for some won't work for others. Every single person will have an opinion and advice. Smile and nod, and do whatever you think is best.
Yes! And just because somebody is some kind of medical professional does not mean you can't look for a second opinion. My family doctor for DD1 was not a pediatrician and recommended I supplement on day 3 because she wasn't back up to birth weight already. I felt defeated but decided to talk to a trained LC nurse with my health unit who came to my house to help me and found out it was just a latch issue, my supply was great.
Also my cousins doctor was terrible and long story short she found out at about 8 months that her daughter wasn't "just little" she had basically been starved the whole time because her supply was so low and should have been supplementing. Go with your gut and get a second opinion if you feel unsure.
Post by billybumbler on Jan 16, 2017 11:40:06 GMT -5
littleredfish oh yeah, I totally agree. I don't know what it's like in the US but here a lot of pedis and family doctors are really not trained/don't know a whole lot about breastfeeding. I've seen people get terrible advice from pedis and usually they're too quick to suggest supplementing in my view - because they know nothing about how to increase supply (this is not meant to criticize anyone who had to supplement - a lot of times you really have to).
You really have to look for a pedi with specific training or for a lactation nurse or consultant.
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