Post by andtheheartbreakers on Apr 23, 2017 11:58:25 GMT -5
I had a 24 hour labour (starting at 10pm), and then my daughter was not doing well at birth and had to be transferred to another hospital. I was so thankful to have both my parents and MH there because it meant my parents went in the ambulance with her and MH stayed with me. My dad already had a plan that my mom would stay with me and him and MH would go with L, but I said hell no if I can't have my baby I need my husband. It was the longest worst night of my life and even though I had been up for about 42 hours straight I could not sleep. So this time if I'm lucky enough to have my baby with me there is no way I could send her away. I feel like I missed out on so much with L.
This time my parents will be watching L and I'm having so much anxiety about the fact that MH could be out of town this time, and my parents can't be there so if something happens again there will be no extra people to stay with me or go with baby.
andtheheartbreakers, that sounds like a traumatic experience. I'm glad you both came out of it ok. Hopefully, you won't have the same experience and you won't need your parents at the hospital.
Post by salmon2017 on Apr 24, 2017 14:08:41 GMT -5
I was also in a baby friendly hospital so they didn't have a nursery. I am not sure if I would have used it, given the option. DS woke to nurse, I nursed him, we went back to sleep. It was fine. The annoying thing was when we had just gotten back to sleep and someone would come take our vitals and wake us again. This time I would either go home earlier, or ring for a nurse while we are awake, so that sleep is more consolidated.
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Post by saltandvinegar on Apr 25, 2017 7:41:39 GMT -5
+1 to going home early. I'm not sure what most hospitals do but ours usually kept new moms & babies for 2 nights. We stayed 1 and they discharged us the next day without any issues because we were both doing well & DS was nursing just fine.
Thinking about this going home early business - I think I will try to do it this time, but I don't think I would have wanted to last time. I needed to be sure that I had things under control - how to hold him, diaper him, bathe him. How to nurse and make sure he had the right latch. As tough as it was not being in my own bed, it would have been much worse to get home and feel unprepared.
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Thinking about this going home early business - I think I will try to do it this time, but I don't think I would have wanted to last time. I needed to be sure that I had things under control - how to hold him, diaper him, bathe him. How to nurse and make sure he had the right latch. As tough as it was not being in my own bed, it would have been much worse to get home and feel unprepared.
Definitely depends how you're feeling. DS was born at 10ish am and we were discharged around 4:30pm the next day. I didn't feel like the night nurses did a whole lot to help since he was already nursing well & I felt comfortable going home. My plan is to just play it by ear but hopefully we will all be feeling good enough to go home early. Of course this all changes if I have to have a Csection too. Baby girl was breech at our last appt so hopefully she flips for me.
Thinking about this going home early business - I think I will try to do it this time, but I don't think I would have wanted to last time. I needed to be sure that I had things under control - how to hold him, diaper him, bathe him. How to nurse and make sure he had the right latch. As tough as it was not being in my own bed, it would have been much worse to get home and feel unprepared.
DD had a horrible latch. I ended up back at the hospital 3 times meeting with a LC just to make sure we could nurse successfully. My poor nipples were in so much pain.
Post by saltandvinegar on May 4, 2017 15:08:40 GMT -5
So I guess this is technically a question for third timers...
I don't do well cooped up in the house so I'm a little worried about being stuck at home with a toddler and a newborn. I was thinking of activities to get us out and about and I am thinking of signing DS (he will be 2.5) up for gymnastics once a week. I plan to take MIL with me to watch the baby for that hour and then she also gets time with us under set parameters rather than just stopping over at the house & driving me nuts. I'm thinking that after the first few weeks of getting settled that gymnastics would give DS and I some time together and get us both out and about. Thoughts? Is that a reasonable expectation?
What other activities would be good? Story time at the library? That's all I could come up with so far.
ETA: I'm nervous about going from 1 to 2 in general so any advice there would be appreciated as well.
saltandvinegar, I think the gymnastic idea is good. I would also plan simple trips to the park. Story time would be good too. It can get crowded in those rooms though. Which always makes me feel overwhelmed.
You can expect the first few months to be rough. It will feel extremely hard until you develop a new normal. It took me about 6 weeks to get a good schedule that worked for us. I'm expecting the same this time around too.
saltandvinegar, gymnastics sounds like a great idea! The park, like leviosa mentioned is also a good place. The mall? I know I used to take both kids and just walk around the mall, stop at the play area for a little bit. I also need to get out of the house for a little bit most days. It makes the day go by so much faster.
I agree, it will take awhile to find your routine so don't get discouraged.
I would often nurse DD while playing cars with DS. And don't feel bad if one kid has to cry while you attend to the other. It will happen, and it is ok.
caybeh, is right. There was so much crying the first 2 months. DS2 ended up CIO some because I wasn't where I could stop what I was doing with DD. I also had no help from my H (he is in residency) so that was a huge part for me. Like caybeh said, it's ok. You have to take care of one need at a time. I know we all want to be a supermom but in reality, we are just one person and we do the best we can.
saltandvinegar you could also look for a Mother's Day out program. DS is currently in a daycare while I am working, but they have a short day program as well. So once #2 arrives he will go to school from 9-3 4 days a week. I think it will be good for all 3 of us because he is used to that level of social interaction. At first I felt sort of ashamed that I didn't think I could handle having them both at home all the time, but I really believe this will be the best decision for my sanity and DS's too!
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
saltandvinegar you could also look for a Mother's Day out program. DS is currently in a daycare while I am working, but they have a short day program as well. So once #2 arrives he will go to school from 9-3 4 days a week. I think it will be good for all 3 of us because he is used to that level of social interaction. At first I felt sort of ashamed that I didn't think I could handle having them both at home all the time, but I really believe this will be the best decision for my sanity and DS's too!
I love this idea and plan to look into something like this eventually. The problem is that I'm not sure where we will be living once the baby comes so I'm hesitant to make plans. Since he goes to DC/sitter with other kiddos every day now I also think it would be good for him to keep some social interaction.
Post by salmon2017 on May 12, 2017 14:06:11 GMT -5
Okay, so I am not sure how many FTMs we have on here, but I thought of a few (maybe vain) things that I wondered about last time. So, some unsolicited question answering:
1) Yes, I pooped during labour. It was not a big deal although MH does like to tease me about it from time to time.
2) I did not get stretch marks on my belly or boobs, but did on my hips. I slathered myself every evening through my pregnancy with coconut oil, but have no idea if this helped. I think it's mostly genetics.
3) I did lose "the baby weight" mostly I think through breastfeeding, but no, my body was not the same. I was definitely wider on my bottom half than I was before, and the skin on my belly was loose, even once I regained my strength.
4) After weaning my boobs did not become pancakes. They were about the same size as pre-pregnancy, although my nipples were a bit droopy.
5) The one thing I wished that I read about before DS arrived was sleep. I figured that sleep was something that just happened. It ended up causing me a lot of stress because I didn't know what was "normal"
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
salmon2017 I didn't get stretch marks with my first...but did with my second.
Also the after labor pains were way worse with my second that my first. I wished that someone would have warned that they may be worse with each kid.
Well that is disappointing news haha! But thanks for the heads up
If it makes you feel better, I didn't really have any after labor pains after my third (didn't have any with my first either). My second was a different story but I also had an episiotomy which was the source of all of my pain.
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