XP: preschool problem

[wineallthetime]

Definitely not overreacting. First off, the way she's talking to C isn't helping. At all. She could be encouraging rather than just criticizing everything he says and does. Also, she needs to remember that he's three. THREE!!! And hell no to the arm pulling. We have had teachers need to pry C away from us when he just won't let go, but they kinda pry his body away and then hold him while being comforting.

"You're mom's not coming back" made me so sad. How about saying, "Your mom needs to go to work now, but she's going to come back right after to pick you up! Look at all the fun things we get to play with while she's at work!" or something.

[lahdeedah88]

You didn't over react. If I was in that situation, I'm sure the teacher and I would have had words. She should not be pulling on anyone's child like that, and she should not be having such ugly words with three year olds. You did the right thing talking to the director and I would follow up with her to make sure that talk has happened and she understands that her attitude needs to change. I'm sorry you and C had this experience.

[klongoria11]

Nope. Not ok. Don't grab my kid. I would have done the same thing and talked to the director. I may have also told the teacher directly, "uh, no. don't grab my child like that. He is already upset and you are making it worse." I'm also not cool with the "Your Mom isn't coming back" thing. He is already upset, why put the idea into his head that you aren't coming back. To him that would probably sound like "never coming back ever". Not ok.

[JoeLies]

I read your post on Parenting, wedding, and I'm totally on your team. I've given DH an earful over comments like "don't be a baby". They are 3, they have way more in common with a baby than with us at this point. That woman should not be dealing with kids this age. It sounds like she does not understand how they tick nor does she sound like she particularly likes them. Just hell no.

[73jewels]

I would be pissed. Not pissed enough to pull him but certainly pissed enough to request a meeting to discuss

I've mentioned Sam's been having trouble at drop off. We was particularly whiney snd clingy this morning. His teacher keeps a shelf with 'special toys' and came up to offer him to pick one. Usually when this happens they ask him to be their 'helper' in whatever's going on (handing out snacks, etc). If none of that works they take him nicely from me and assure him it will be ok and then distract him with various things in the room (friends, trucks, other special toys, etc.

All that to say, they could and should handle it better. She does not sound fit to be caring for young children.

[yummeecookee]

Also in agreement that this is worthy of having been upset. The talking down is a big problem. It ridicules the child instead of giving them confidence- soooo the exact opposite of what he needs!
Then the aggressive physical contact to boot.

I'm sorry you're dealing w this. There's always those teachers that are stars and then those who seriously lack. I see it at B's DC also. I really hope they can get Miss L some better training on how to work with children.

[klongoria11]

Sunny41, idk, to be at the end of your rope already at the beginning of the day seems like you're in the wrong job position. If you have chosen to work with kids at this age, then you're going to know drop offs are hard on some days and forcibly grabbing a child is never ok.

[lahdeedah88]

I would also say that if today's drop off was worse than others, it may have been because of that teacher. I have mentioned before that we have been having bad drop offs since we moved to classes, and one of my suspicions is that he hasn't taken to any of the morning teachers well. They are just not as warm and welcoming as the teachers in his other class. I never see them smiling or really trying to be personal with the kids. They have never been bad with him, but just not like other teachers I have had interaction with. I believe he likes the afternoon teachers much better- and frankly I do too and I rarely do pick up. It may be something to think about even though it's not in any way a solution to your problem with this teacher.

[trtlcrzy]

Not ok. Sorry she treated him like that wedding. I hope the director has a good solution for you.

Sunny41 I agree with klongoria11, if she is at the end of her rope at 7am, what is it going to look like at 3pm? She needs to evaluate her decision to be a childcare worker if she can't handle drop offs.

[cagoldi]

Jan 20, 2017 11:06:59 GMT -5 klongoria11 said:

Sunny41, idk, to be at the end of your rope already at the beginning of the day seems like you're in the wrong job position. If you have chosen to work with kids at this age, then you're going to know drop offs are hard on some days and forcibly grabbing a child is never ok.

This is where I'm at.

[cagoldi]

Maybe he's having a hard time at drop-offs because he hates the thought of being stuck with this heinous bitch?

No, you didn't overreact. If she was already at her limit, she needed to walk away. She antagonizes him.

100% do not approve of her grabbing or the way she speaks with him. "You're not a baby" type comments are unproductive.

[cagoldi]

Dude has had rough drop offs periodically for whatever reason and the teachers always distract and offer hugs or will carry him around for a minute or two. Sometimes they'll take him over to the gate to wave goodbye if they're playing outside at that time.

There are a lot of other ways to handle the situation. It's very clear she made the wrong choice.

[klongoria11]

Jan 20, 2017 11:22:05 GMT -5 Sunny41 said:

Jan 20, 2017 11:06:59 GMT -5 klongoria11 said:

Sunny41 , idk, to be at the end of your rope already at the beginning of the day seems like you're in the wrong job position. If you have chosen to work with kids at this age, then you're going to know drop offs are hard on some days and forcibly grabbing a child is never ok.

I lost my cool after 30minutes today. I chose to be a parent. We all have bad days. I also didn't say it was ok to grab him.

But, it doesn't happen every day in your house, I assume. 
It is a reoccurring instance with this teacher.

[wineallthetime]

Jan 20, 2017 12:05:46 GMT -5 klongoria11 said:

Jan 20, 2017 11:22:05 GMT -5 Sunny41 said:

I lost my cool after 30minutes today. I chose to be a parent. We all have bad days. I also didn't say it was ok to grab him.

But, it doesn't happen every day in your house, I assume. 
It is a reoccurring instance with this teacher.

This. Plus, it's one thing for a parent to lose their cool a bit with their own kid (not grabbing them like that by any means), it's another for someone in a professional role to. I work with kids, not in a daycare setting, and some of them frustrate me and make me want to scream. You know what I do? Put a smile on my face, take some deep breaths and do my job. If I were to lash out at the kid or talk down to them, I'd be in some trouble. 

[mskatiep]

wedding I think you are right to be upset. At Layla's old daycare we had some difficult drop offs that resulted in basically the teacher and I working together to disentangle myself from a bear hug. But it was ALWAYS gentle and soft soothing words were used. The teacher would then bring her to the window holding her, and we would blow kisses. If someone had ever yanked her off of me I would be livid! Talking to the director was a good choice. I'm non confrontational generally by nature, so I would not feel comfortable addressing it with her at pick up today. I hope that your director takes some real steps towards resolving this. Whether that is changing her schedule so that she is no longer the person for drop off for that classroom, or moving her to another classroom all together that she may be better suited for. Toddler/Preschool rooms can be hard, I remember when I used to work in one, but the people working in them should be finding joy in these tiny people, not stealing their confidence, belittling them or hurting them.

[mamabear13]

I don't think you overreacted. First, the pulling that hard is over the line. Second, while her method might work for some.kids, it dossnt work for yours, and she should realize that. Agree with others that there are so many other ways to handle it, L has never been pulled from me.