How do you praise your child?
Jan 20, 2017 11:16:31 GMT -5
Post by brachysira on Jan 20, 2017 11:16:31 GMT -5
DD has become an insane perfectionist. I am going to talk to her doctor and see if maybe she needs therapy. Almost everything she says is, "yes, that sounds fun. I'll try it when I'm 5." She's so worried about things going badly that she can barely function. Almost everything about perfectionist kids is for school-age kids. They say parents cause this at least partially due to early expectations of a child being perfect. I am critical of DD because she tantrums and stalls so often, but that's probably due to her perfectionist tendencies, so it's like a feedback loop.
She has in the past been a very brave child. Her natural tendencies are too do everything, be active and extreme, and never decline. She doesn't have typical childhood anxieties...no monsters under the bed or aversions to mom leaving. When she was 2, she could write some letters and liked to draw, but she stopped at 2.5 because she "wasn't good at it" and hasn't done anything but scribble since. She loved riding her balance bike, but her friend practiced and got fast, and now DD won't do it because she's "not good at it." I feel like many things she once enjoyed are not fun for her once she realizes there is a way to be better that she can't do. I tell her what matters is that it's fun, and she's doing great, but it doesn't seem to matter. She does not have any interest in dressing herself because it's "too hard," although she's been able to do it for a long time with only a bit of help.
I need to stop this and build her up more, but I also need to discourage regular tantrums, motivate her to do things like get dressed, and maintain adherence to rules (e.g. no hitting her brother).
Any suggestions?
She has in the past been a very brave child. Her natural tendencies are too do everything, be active and extreme, and never decline. She doesn't have typical childhood anxieties...no monsters under the bed or aversions to mom leaving. When she was 2, she could write some letters and liked to draw, but she stopped at 2.5 because she "wasn't good at it" and hasn't done anything but scribble since. She loved riding her balance bike, but her friend practiced and got fast, and now DD won't do it because she's "not good at it." I feel like many things she once enjoyed are not fun for her once she realizes there is a way to be better that she can't do. I tell her what matters is that it's fun, and she's doing great, but it doesn't seem to matter. She does not have any interest in dressing herself because it's "too hard," although she's been able to do it for a long time with only a bit of help.
I need to stop this and build her up more, but I also need to discourage regular tantrums, motivate her to do things like get dressed, and maintain adherence to rules (e.g. no hitting her brother).
Any suggestions?