~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in week of Jan 22 ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

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PgAL Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

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Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood?

[muscari]

How far along are you? 10+3

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Still exhausted, but no longer continiously nauseas thanks to the emesafene. Emotionally I've been feeling rather out of sorts. Relieved and thankful that things are going well with the baby, but I still don't really feel like this is MY baby. Feeling rather detached from the pregnancy somehow? Not sure how to describe. I hope that once we reach 2nd trim I'll start feeling a little better physically which should also make me feel better emotionally, right? I do have a history of depression and I guess I'm secretly starting to get a little worried about prenatal depression.. Being exhausted all the friggin time meanwhile juggling 5 days of work, housechores (uhh haha right) and social life (what?) is just rough and probably doesn't help with me feeling down and out of sorts.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
We passed our first loss milestone earlier this week, though in all honestly I can't wait to get through the first trimester!
No appointments until our NT scan and a consult with the MFM on 2/7. Also got an appointment with my own cardiologist some time in February. Anomaly scan is scheduled for 3/27.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not right now, thanks. Ohh it's so nice to be able to say that means I'm finally starting to feel a bit more confident in things.

Anything else you'd like to share?
We were apperently released from the RE with our U/S on 1/11 but no one really told us.. And as we had our dating U/S scheduled at the same hospital on the 16th and will also do our NT scan there (and I was given a lab form for the BW for the combination test at the dating scan) I was just thoroughly confused when they said I had to see my midwife for the BW for the combination test and other stuff. But uhmm I don't have a MW yet and wasn't even sure yet whether I could be seen by one due to my own health issues. Long story short; after putting our loss/IF hx and my own medical hx (specifically my heart issues and Asherman's Syndrome) on the table they realized that perhaps a MW wasn't ideal for me and we were scheduled in for an intake at the OB department this past Friday. I felt a little overwhelmed, but it was a really good meeting which made me&MH feel heard and taken seriously pretty much for the first time these past 2 years. I'm now officially 'high risk' and will be seen by a MFM throughout the pg. Since I work at the same hospital it's actually quite ideal and I look forward not needing to make arrangements with work and/or lots of traveling back'n'from the midwife office

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood?
We didn't have a whole lot of holiday traditions while growing up I don't think.. so now it's more of making our own traditions rather then to continue old ones. I try to make a point spending certain holidays with my family and loved ones (think Christmas but also Easter, and Sinterklaas - especially now that my sister has lil ones and we hope to add one to the family later this year as well I'm really looking forward to celebrating Sinterklaas the oldfashioned way with surprises and gifts and poems again:))

[king26]

Hey,
I finally feel comfortable enough to join in. I'm both PAL and PAIF.

How far along are you? 9w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically I feel good. I haven't had hardly any morning sickness. I am extremely tired and go to bed around 9 every night. DH finally started talkign to and about the baby after we heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks. I also don't feel like this is real yet. I felt like it was real after hearing the heartbeat but now I'm back to the whole is this real?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I have an appointment with the RE on Wednesday. 10 week ultrasound and my IV infusion. I'm looking forward to seeing the baby again.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not right now.

Anything else you'd like to share? I'm just anxious to get out of the first trimester. We haven't told ANYONE yet, not even my parents. We are waiting until this appointment then we might tell me parents and my brother but we are waiting to tell everyone else until I'm 13 weeks. I'm just so anxious about everything.

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood? Well, we still go to my parents (2 1/2 hours away) and hunt for Easter baskets on Easter morning. As for Christmas, we open 1 gift on Christmas Eve just like we did as kids.

[yoshijo28]

king26 it's so good to see you here!!

[yoshijo28]

No @eliida I'm so so sorry. Please take care of yourself

[PepperPottsJ]

@eliida, I am so sorry, sending you all my love and so many hugs.

[muscari]

@eliida 💛💛💛 I am so so very sorry - this shit is just too unfair. Heartbroken for you and YH. Much love and tight hugs.

[elliecat17]

How far along are you? 9w5d, a jack!

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically exhausted and nauseous. My nausea is actually less the last 2 days then over the end of last week, so it's playing mind games with me.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Nothing this week.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
They are always welcome!

Anything else you'd like to share?
Not much is happening.
I've been very constipated, so I ended up caving and trying some fiber gummies. This has helped which has really gotten rid of the pain I was feeling on my left side.

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood?
Very few actually. Some of my traditions are hard to do here, just because of the climate differences between Hawaii and Michigan. However I have carried forward religious holiday traditions like the advent wreath at the table every night.

[cravingchocolate05]

Oh no @eliida. I am so very sorry to hear that.

[Mom2Ms]

How far along are you? 8w5d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Meh. I've got a serious cold or the flu or something. So I'm having a hard time discerning what's pregnancy related and what's just sickness. I'm still struggling with the whole "twin" idea! This weekend I had some very, very very minimal spotting, but it has since stopped.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?no appointments or anything until 2/&.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just that the internal bleeding stops.

Anything else you'd like to share? Does anyone else feel like they can really exhale until after week 12 and the genetic testing? I just feel in edge until then.

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood? I don't think anything special. Just kind of the run of the mill stuff. We have created some of our own traditions!

[Mom2Ms]

Jan 23, 2017 11:27:58 GMT -5 @eliida said:

XP CAR:

This morning's 9 week US revealed that - despite our last two promising scans - the baby's heart stopped beating over the weekend.

Thank you everyone for your support. Take care, I'm rooting for all of you and your rainbows. I'll be lurking.

I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. All the hugs in the world.

[jt2378]

@eliida, this is so unfair, I'm so so sorry, hugs and love to you and YH

[yellowcat]

@eliida, I am so sorry

Mom2Ms, I felt much better after the NT scan, but never completely ok, it sucks

How far along are you? 13 wks

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Just tired and a little stressed but that is work related.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? OB next Tuesday, nothing major though.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share? We got the results of the NT scan back yesterday everything is low risk. I didn't ask about gender because last time it was wrong. We are waiting until the anatomy scan in early March. I am pretty sure it is a boy.

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood?
We had so many it is hard to think of one. I guess celebrating little christmas on Jan 6. e would have a nice dinner, get one more present and then take the xmas tree down the next day.

[addymac]

How far along are you? 10+4

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Meh. Nausea comes and goes. Headaches are fairly constant. My boobs are HUGE! (For me) it's so funny. Me and DH keep joking about how much they're growing bc I used to be an A, now I'm a good C. Goodness. I'm always fucking hungry and not interested in eating ANYTHING. I eat bc I get super sick if i don't but I'm not a fan of food lately. And ugh. Constipation. Finally bought some colace last night

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Had a f/u on Monday. Nothing to report. He wouldn't do a Doppler bc he said 10w was too soon to definitely hear the hb. We also saw the genetic counselor and sent blood work for the cell free DNA test - tests t13,18,21 & sex chrome issues. I'm apathetic about it bc it didn't help last time but I keep having to tell myself this is different.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Nah I'm okay

Anything else you'd like to share? 🤷🏻‍♀️

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood? I really can't think of much. I guess having a Christmas tree (DH was raised Jewish) and placing more emphasis on Christmas Eve rather than day. But so far I've worked every xmas so I don't really do much of anything. Idk what will be done when a kid comes along- holidays are a sore subject bc of religion so we just kind of avoid it for now. 😕

[yoshijo28]

How far along are you? Eta 12w5d


I posted an AW thread and appreciate the support you ladies have given me! I'm not looking for more hair pats here, just wanted to update since I never did this week


How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically good except now I'm getting headaches. Emotionally I was good until last night. Since our u/s looked good at the NT scan I finally let go of some anxiety. I let my guard down a bit too soon because we didn't get the blood test results back until last night around 7pm. The dr left me a voicemail saying he has my results and wants to go over something but it's not an emergency. Ha. That freaked me out. I called back and luckily got in touch. He said the results weren't TERRIBLE. He said the risk for Trisomy 18 was 1/8000 but the risk for Downs was 1/97. A 1% chance but I still got nervous. He was on speaker and H was there. The Dr. said that whoever is the calm one should calm the other down because it's likely OK. Then I mentioned that baby was a PGS tested embryo and he said oh, then your risk is even lower.

Huh? So I was 29 during egg retrieval, had a PGS tested embryo, NT u/s was good, but I still have a 1/97 risk? I don't get that.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? NIPT (Harmony) test tomorrow

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Yes please for good results from the Harmony test

Anything else you'd like to share? thanks for the support I appreciate it!

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood? MH and I drive around to look at Christmas lights. I can't think of more but I'm sure there are many!

[cali]

XP from PAIF:

Sorry guys, I've been struggling a lot this week with anxiety so I haven't been posting much but I'm lurking. Quick update, u/s on Monday went well, but was measuring 1 day behind, not sure if that is a big deal, I've been avoiding googling. Other than that baby was moving and heart rate was 170. I graduated the RE and have my first OB appointment tomorrow morning. For some reason, that is making me so anxious!

[yoshijo28]

cali ((hugs)) 1 day is NBD! I'm glad you at least have the OB apt quickly, hopefully that will reassure you

[yoshijo28]

Is it weird I still get "jealous" or a weird feeling when I see very pregnant women/ children at my OB's office. Idk why!

[cali]

Jan 26, 2017 14:58:54 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

Is it weird I still get "jealous" or a weird feeling when I see very pregnant women/ children at my OB's office. Idk why!

I do too but for me I think I'm jealous that they are in a more "secure" place with their pregnancies and I'm still ridden with anxiety daily.

[cravingchocolate05]

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 10w2d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Queasiness is worse this week, morning afternoon and evening, especially if I don't eat for a few hours. I have been having lots of stretching cramps which is a little comforting because I never had that with my last pregnancy. Okay emotionally for the most part. Just waiting for my next appt Feb 9. I'll feel better after 13 weeks and NIPT testing.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not for anything specific.

Anything else you'd like to share? My mind is blank right now.

QoTW: Which of your childhood holiday traditions have you continued into adulthood? Mostly decorating for holidays. I love love love decorating for all the major ones. Dh hates it, but he's catching on!

[cravingchocolate05]

Jan 26, 2017 14:52:17 GMT -5 cali said:

XP from PAIF:

Sorry guys, I've been struggling a lot this week with anxiety so I haven't been posting much but I'm lurking. Quick update, u/s on Monday went well, but was measuring 1 day behind, not sure if that is a big deal, I've been avoiding googling. Other than that baby was moving and heart rate was 170. I graduated the RE and have my first OB appointment tomorrow morning. For some reason, that is making me so anxious!

cali Mine is also measuring a day or so behind by ovulation date and about a week behind by LMP. It's hard not to worry, but people have told me a day or two should be no concern. I hope you feel less anxious. It's really the worst. I vacillate from "I'm pregnant. Yay!" to "OMG something's wrong" all the time, and it's a pain.

[yoshijo28]

Jan 26, 2017 15:04:40 GMT -5 cali said:

Jan 26, 2017 14:58:54 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

Is it weird I still get "jealous" or a weird feeling when I see very pregnant women/ children at my OB's office. Idk why!

I do too but for me I think I'm jealous that they are in a more "secure" place with their pregnancies and I'm still ridden with anxiety daily.

this exactly

[yoshijo28]

@ketchup maybe when I start to show I'll feel more like I belong there or something. Good point though, I don't know what they've been through

[addymac]

I feel the same way when I see pregnant women. I get so jealous and angry and I want to punch them all in the face. Esp when I know they haven't struggled. Then I feel like an asshole. Pregnant women are such triggers for me, I really need to work on it, I guess. ☹️

It's slightly comforting to know I'm not alone in this jealousy. 💓

[addymac]

cali - one day is nothing to worry about. Lots of Drs don't even change the due date if you're measuring within 5 days of your the expected date bc measuring on an u/s isn't an exact science- each texhcould place the marker .1mm off and at that small size, it can change the date by a few days!

But, I understand the nerves, as my little one is still measuring a week before my O date, which is a week behind my LMP. And we didn't have sex after my O date so I KNOW my new EDD is wrong bc my egg and his sperm didn't just stare at each other for six days before coming together. BUT since it's growing appropriately I'm trying to let it go and not worry as much. (Hah!)

[yoshijo28]

((Hugs)) @xamountofwords. You won't jinx this by personalizing them. Personalize them, you've waited for this!

[muscari]

I am sorry you had such a nasty dream @xamountofwords *hugs* I second @yoshjio28 - personalize them as you had planned! You won't jinx things and you deserve these personalized announcements to be as you like them best.

[muscari]

cali Sorry to read you are struggling love. HUGS Glad the US went well - as has been said by PP measuring a day behind is NBD and nothing to worry about xx