PgAL/PAIF 1*31*17

[doodler]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!

The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

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PgAL Mantras

www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras

www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting



**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**


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Please feel free to include your IF and/or Loss history if this is your first check-in.

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety?

[doodler]

How far along are you? 6w1d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm a disaster. Two of our babies only grew to 6w5d even though they were missed MC and we found out later. I'm having all sort of anxiety. I just need to get this damn week over with and get past this.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I have my first ultrasound on Thursday. I will be 6w3d.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Sure! I'm such a basket case right now.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nope

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I usually step outside in the fresh air and practice deep breathing. That's hard right now when it's freezing out though!

[Deleted]

doodler, @mattsgirl2004, I'll be thinking and praying for you both this week as you pass major loss milestones!

How far along are you? 6+5 today.

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I am doing okay. I didn't expect to make it this far so I think I've kept myself a little disconnected. Our U/S is tomorrow and I'm trying to just keep my expectations and excitement in check.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? My first ultrasound is tomorrow.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Yeah always.

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I think exercising regularly helps and staying busy. The last few weeks have been nonstop so I haven't had much time to dwell on anxious thoughts.

[doodler]

Jan 31, 2017 10:31:39 GMT -5 @mattsgirl2004 said:

doodler I'm sorry that you're struggling this week as well. Just know you're not alone love. I hope your u/s goes perfectly this on Thursday.

Sending so much support your way for this afternoon!!!

[laurenash323]

How far along are you?
9w 2d


How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Feeling okay. I was super nauseous yesterday and had diarrhea all day. Today seems to be better, but I also started the day off with a better breakfast than I did yesterday. 


Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Had my ultrasound yesterday, which was fantastic. Baby is measuring right on track. I had been a little worried after my last appointment when baby measured a few days behind, but I know those measurements are so arbitrary since it depends on exactly where the dr places the cross hairs to measure. 


Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
I'm having my cerclage placed Monday. I'm anxious about it since this is brand new to me. I'm mostly worried about the pain of it more than anything. I know the risks are low with a cerclage, still scares me. I can't believe I'm less than 4 weeks away from 2nd tri! 


Anything else you'd like to share?
I do have to say that going through all that I have has given me so much more empathy for people. Just last week, I found out one of my dearest friends was gong through a miscarriage. She confided in me because she knew I knew what she was going through. Unfortunately she ended up losing a tube and an ovary over the weekend. The sadness I've felt for her has been so strong, and I've never felt that before for others. Every time I've had a loss or a struggle, I take that struggle and try and channel it into good. I think the empathy I can feel towards people now is so humbling and will help me throughout life. 


QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Reading/thinking positivity. I did a one week positivity challenge on Instagram which was great. My mom gave me a positivity book that I've been reading. Just overall trying to be that first time pregnant person who doesn't realize things COULD go wrong...right now things are going right, and I just want to be happy in this moment. 

[mambo]

How far along are you? 8+2

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Tired I'm fighting a cold. Emotionally I'm anxious and crazy and short tempered.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I'm waiting for an appointment right this second

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? My 2.5 year old is super sick and is being tested for influenza and pneumonia

Anything else you'd like to share? Not much is happening

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Sleeping and binge watching bones

[salmon2017]

How far along are you? 9w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically about 85% of normal, still a little.....grungy. Like a mild hangover, I guess. Emotionally I have been pretty sad. Thinking about my DD a lot, much more than normal. Not sure why. I found myself bawling in the shower last night after my train of thought somehow landed on her birth/loss day, remembering holding her in my arms, my wonderful OB using holy water to bless her, leaving the hospital without her. She would have been 3 this month, maybe that's why she is on my mind. Or because I will be doing chromosomal testing for this baby next week. Who knows. But it seems that grief has been rearing its head again, unexpectedly.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Just a blood draw for chromosomal testing next Monday

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Let's just pray this baby is healthy.

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Just allowing myself time and space for all the feelings. laurenash323 your words about positivity really touched me. Maybe I really can will myself to be a carefree, hopeful pregnant woman. I will certainly try.

[salmon2017]

laurenash323, my cerclage last time was not painful at all. I had a spinal block (I think? I was numb from the waist down), but was awake during the procedure. The next day I had a little bit of cramping. A couple of times later in my pregnancy (I think when DS's head was right on my cervix) I thought I could "feel" the stitches. Kind of like if a tampon is not quite in correctly? Not painful, just a little uncomfortable. Wishing you lots and lots of luck!

[mambo]

They changed my due date again... This was the high risk doc to September 7.

[Deleted]

salmon2017, that is so tough. Thinking of you this week as you do chromosomal testing.

[caybeh]

salmon2017 praying for you this week. Hugs.

[salmon2017]

Jan 31, 2017 18:09:28 GMT -5 @mattsgirl2004 said:

I had my u/s this afternoon. Baby was measuring 5w6d with a heart rate of 91. I was (am) a little concerned with how low it is, but both my doctor and the u/s tech said it was right in line with how far along I am. They said they like to see anywhere from 80-100 bpm for anything under 6 weeks.
So, my OB said I can come back again within the next few weeks anytime I want to check growth. I asked about next week and she agreed. So, I go back next Tuesday for another one. ETA: I've been guessing when it comes to how far along I am, since I don't know when I ovulated. My new EDD is 9-27-17

Wonderful, wonderful news! So happy for you

[springbeduk]

So glad to see your positive ultrasound report, @mattsgirl2004! I had looked in the randoms first and didn't see anything there so was getting nervous. That's great that your OB will let you get extra scans to monitor growth!!! FX for you for next week, and hope your two little rugrats keep your mind off of worry most of the time (and also let you sleep!) until then!

[springbeduk]

FX for your ultrasounds doodler and @helgahufflepuff!! And for the chromosomal testing salmon2017 though I know that'll be a long wait for the results still. Hugs and positive thoughts to you as you're remembering your angel.

[laurenash323]

@mattsgirl2004, I think that HR is great. I had my first scan at a day or two before where you are and we didn't even see the heartbeat. So I think to even see the heartbeat this early is awesome news!

salmon2017, thanks for your cerclage experience. I think we are just doing laughing gas for mine, but I'm not 100% sure. I'm having my blood test done next week too. I just keep telling myself that we get to find out if it's a boy or girl, but am deep down inside so worried about other findings of it. We still don't know why we lost our son last year, all tests came back normal, but I just wonder if it was something else!? It's funny how grief just pops up like that. Our son was born a year ago last week and I've been a mess just thinking about it and I never got to see/hold him so I cannot imagine how you must be feeling!

[salmon2017]

Thanks to all of you ladies for your kind words. I am so grateful to this community for being a place of understanding and compassion.

[magaroni86]

First check in here. I have had an early loss in 2/2012, DD in 2/2013, early loss 10/2014 and DS in 7/2015.

How far along are you? 5 weeks 5 days

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically I had my first bout of morning sickness today. Emotionally I am a mess. I had some spotting yesterday with cramping.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Waiting on my second beta tomorrow. First one yesterday after the spotting was 22,639. If my beta tomorrow looks good I will finally call to make an actual appointment.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Definitely for a good betas tomorrow!

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Talking to my husband. He's the only one who knows in "real life" and he's great at calming me down.

[luciddreamer]

How far along are you? 5+4

My loss history is in my signature, all 4 losses were in the first trimester. I had just completed RPL testing and everything came back normal. I was supposed to have an appointment with my nurse coordinator at the RE office to discuss the upcoming plan for doing injects/femara (to increase chance of healthy egg), but I got my BFP the day before. FX that this is a lucky one.


How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Emotionally, feel pretty good about not feeling well. Symptoms come and go, but they seem to pick up the minute I start to get worried that they're fading away. Nausea is kicking in today, which is both "yay" and "yuck." I'm sure you ladies can relate.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? First ultrasound on Wednesday, 2/8 at RE's office.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just that this is a healthy baby.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nothing

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Repeating the PGAL mantras everyday, allowing myself to get excited about this pregnancy. Also, keeping up my exercise routine and doing yoga to combat stress.

[kellykapow]

How far along are you? 8w3d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically not great right now. MS has been getting worse, and I'm exhausted but having a hard time sleeping. Emotionally I've been okay.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
I had my first appointment and US on Monday. It went well, and we saw a heartbeat.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not at the moment.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety?
I try talking to husband and watch a lot of mindless television.

[RajahMD]

How far along are you? 9w1d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Meh. The nausea has settled to a not quite intolerable level, but still shitty. Speaking of shitty, I'm still dealing with diarrhea every few days. I couldn't keep anything in me this weekend. Emotionally, I'm definitely anxious. I didn't get an ultrasound at my NP appointment last week, and my next one isn't for two weeks. It'll have been 5 weeks since my first (and so far only) ultrasound at that point. All I can think about is how many things can go wrong in 5 weeks.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope. Next appointment is in a few weeks.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Not for me. But please continue to keep my coworker that lost her baby last week in your thoughts and prayers.

Anything else you'd like to share? I hate being on call. Like, really hate it. Fuck this shit.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Playing mindnumbing games on my phone. And honestly, last week (especially the weekend) being on call kept me so busy that my brain didn't have time or energy to overthink everything.

[wannabmama]

How far along are you? 9w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
So exhausted, headachy, can't sleep.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nothing this week

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? I'm good right now!

Anything else you'd like to share? Just willing time to move faster to the end of first tri so I can feel comfortable doing stuff to prep!

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? I like the "today I'm pregnant and I love my babies" mantra. I'm also treating myself to little treats here and there (including watching tons of mindless TV).

[holdingouthope]

Thank you for the check-in. Thinking of you today, doodler . And sending so many hugs your way, salmon2017 .

How far along are you? 7 weeks

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically, tired and headachey. Emotionally, it's been a rough week. I had some very light spotting the day before yesterday and was preparing myself for the worst. Yesterday, nothing at all. I hate to let myself feel hopeful again, though.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nothing until Feb 13, which is doing nothing to help my anxiety.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just praying there is no more spotting. I'll gladly accept T&Ps.

Anything else you'd like to share? I am officially past the milestone for my natural early loss, which began just before 6 weeks. But it's hard to be hopeful until I have an u/s because I've had two u/s's in the past reveal blighted ovum. I am pretty sure I will have to cover my eyes during my first u/s on the 13th, just like I did last time with my rainbow baby. I wouldn't even let myself look at the screen until my 20 week scan with her.

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? Throwing myself into my FT job and my new business. Staying busy means I have less time to obsess and worry.

[doodler]

Ultrasound went great! Baby measured exactly right at 6w3d and we got to see a beautiful little heartbeat!!!

ETA: Sorry for the huge pic!

[salmon2017]

doodler hooray! Wonderful news!

[doodler]

Feb 2, 2017 11:20:44 GMT -5 @mattsgirl2004 said:

doodler Woohoo!!
Hi little baby!

I saw a different RE than usual because mine wasn't there today.  I literally cried from the moment he walked in the door until the moment he walked out.  He was like uhhh these are happy tears, right?

[springbeduk]

Hooray for the good u/s doodler!

[laurenash323]

That ultrasound picture reminded me...does it blow anyone elses mind how amazing it is that the yolk sac is such a PERFECT circle? It just proves to me how much of a miracle pregnancy and child birth is.

[Deleted]

Congrats doodler!! I missed this yesterday. Such great news!!

holdingouthope, I'm sorry for the spotting scare this week! I hope it stays away and you can get some peace of mind. Any idea why you have to wait so long for your first appt?

[hopeful29]

Hi ladies, quick intro, been married for 5 1/2 years, started TTC in Nov 2013. Had a chemical pregnancy in May 2015. Found out we were pregnant again in Jan 2016. Then in May 2016 we miscarried DD at 18 weeks due to triploidy (3 complete sets of chromosomes). We found out about 3 months afterwards what the cause was.

How far along are you? measuring 9w0d as of yesterday's ultrasound

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Cautiously optimistic since we've been reassured that triploidy is a not a recurrent thing... but of course it's always in the back of my mind. We have genetic testing on 2/28, so I'll be a little uneasy until then. Since the baby is measuring ahead it made a us feel better since last pregnancy she was behind a week at the first scan. (of course it probably doesn't mean anything but we took it as a good sign). We were trying to just take it day by day, but after seeing the little peanut we're all in...

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? none coming up, our first dating scan was yesterday and went perfectly, measuring 3 days ahead (should be 8w4d, or at least that is the absolute latest with our timing) and HB of 175

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? would love T&P for the genetic testing coming up later this month

Anything else you'd like to share? just glad to have a group of ladies to talk with, not many people understand fertility/pregnancy issues or how a loss can truly affect you, don't think I'll ever be the same

QoTW: What are you doing these days to combat the anxiety? not much, games on my phone lurking or on pregnancy boards, I'm not really sure what I could possibly do to keep my mind off of it

[salmon2017]

hopeful29 welcome to our check in and I am so sorry for your losses. We can all identify well. I lost my DD at 24 weeks to Trisomt 18 and although that was 3 years ago she is in my thoughts every day. It changes you forever, but not only in bad ways. Have hope. T18 is also considered random and although I was very fearful during my last pregnancy, we now have our very healthy son. I will be keeping you in my prayers as you go through the genetic testing. I hope it will bring you a sigh of relief.