Post by requiressnacks on Feb 1, 2017 9:02:44 GMT -5
I feel guilty all the time. I could list a bazillion reasons, many of which stem from the fact that there are two of them and one of me. One of them is constantly waiting for something - food, diaper changes, attention. They are also getting flat heads and I'm sure it's because they aren't held as much as other babies. One is always crying and the only peace and quiet I get is at night.
Another source of my guilt is that I really like getting away from them. I'll literally take any opportunity to get some alone time. I think this will change once I go back to work.
Post by catherineoctober on Feb 1, 2017 10:32:00 GMT -5
This came at a perfect time. I was feeling guilty as I got to work after dropping Jane off at daycare for the first time that I have some feeling of freedom. But it can't be just those feelings, I have to feel guilty about it. It sucks. I know I'm trying to find our balance and I'm really lucky to have this life and the opportunity to get away as well as go get her any time I want (like at lunch today because I don't think I can last). I just have to stick to my pumping schedule or this will all get messed up. Work isn't getting busy yet so I really do get to ease into everything. How amazing is that? Still feel guilty.
I started my day with mom guilt. Parking in front of the DC, Leo looks around and starts crying "let's go, let's go". I know he'll be fine. Yesterday he didn't want to leave at pick up. Still feel guilty that I send him while I'm home. But know it's better for him and for me.
I actually got mad at my husband last night because he put the baby in the swing so I could eat dinner. I feel guilty if I'm not giving her my undivided attention 100 percent of the time. I know it's not healthy and she wasn't even crying, but I just couldn't take it. And of course, I get frustrated because I don't take breaks, and then I feel guilty for being frustrated.
My biggest guilt has been around her feedings. I get so tired and frustrated some times I just have to pass her off to dh and have him give her a bottle. Cried many times over it.
Also, not to be all, "men suck" but it must be nice not to have the guilt. All of the men I know get so much praise for doing anything with their kids. A Facebook photo of taking them on a walk or making breakfast is met with "What a great dad!" But really, it's usually the mom doing that task the other 99 percent of the time. My husband helps a lot, and I am very thankful, but he doesn't feel guilty at all for going to work, the gym, etc. I can't imagine what it feels like to not have that level of constant guilt.
My guilt is about my older kids. I feel like I'm failing them all the time because all my attention has to go towards Cora. I get frustrated at them really easily over stuff I shouldn't.
Oh my god, yes. I have all the mom guilt for the most ridiculous reasons. Any time I put her in her swing or bouncer so that I can eat or shower - guilt. If she cries because I didn't see her early hunger cues and she had to wait an extra two minutes to eat - guilt. I even feel like I have to face her bassinet when I'm lying in bed so that I can hear her breathing better.
Don't get me started on what it will feel like when I have to go back to work and she starts daycare.
Also, not to be all, "men suck" but it must be nice not to have the guilt. All of the men I know get so much praise for doing anything with their kids. A Facebook photo of taking them on a walk or making breakfast is met with "What a great dad!" But really, it's usually the mom doing that task the other 99 percent of the time. My husband helps a lot, and I am very thankful, but he doesn't feel guilty at all for going to work, the gym, etc. I can't imagine what it feels like to not have that level of constant guilt.
Post by WineNChocolate on Feb 1, 2017 14:46:49 GMT -5
Ladies!!! Sorry life has been non stop. I have missed you guys. Liam and I are alive..battling a cold.
In regards to having guilt trips..I used to for Liam. But my daughter I feel worse about. I have to be more there for the baby than her, but she wants mommy alone.. Its hard. I feel horrible that I am not there for her like she wants.
I am learning liams cries..so I know when he needs me, pain, cranky or tired. He does whine a lot so..I can't take it to heart all the time.
Post by requiressnacks on Feb 3, 2017 9:56:34 GMT -5
crimpgirl, I have yet to read a book with the babies. I sort of feel bad about that, but I talk to them all the time so I hope they learn language cues that way. I think once they are a little older I will start reading.
I feel mom guilt that I have so much more to do for Hazel right now and less time to help the big girls. Specifically today, DD2 is sick and wants to snuggle but I don't want her germs all over me, which would get all over Hazel, so she's laying in bed alone instead. 🙁
crimpgirl, I have yet to read a book with the babies. I sort of feel bad about that, but I talk to them all the time so I hope they learn language cues that way. I think once they are a little older I will start reading.
The pedi at the hospital gave me a black and white book to read to baby. I'm like seriously, a newborn?
I feel mom guilt that I have so much more to do for Hazel right now and less time to help the big girls. Specifically today, DD2 is sick and wants to snuggle but I don't want her germs all over me, which would get all over Hazel, so she's laying in bed alone instead. 🙁
Big hugs, that's a shitty feeling I know. I push Leo away when I think he may hurt Alex by accident. And Leo gets upset because he just wants to hug me or something.
IVF+ICSI March 2016 (6R/5M/5F - 3 embryos on ice) 4/7/16: first ever BFP! EDD: 12/17/16 DS Arrived via C-Section 12/19/16! FET #1 June 2019 - 1 embryo didn't survive thaw & the one that did didn't stick around. BFN FET #2 September 2019 - last embryo didn't survive thaw.
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