Natural chemical pregnancy 8/2013 Clomid #1 and #2: BFN IVF 1 :0 to use IVF 2:4 great embryos after PGS testing. FET 1: BFP EDD 6/20/15 Chemical Pregnancy FET 2: BFP EDD 11/14/2015 MMC 9.5 weeks twins IVF #3: 2 fair embryos after PGS testing Surprise BFP during break cycle and DD born 4/2016
Post by teachermomtobe on Feb 5, 2017 9:02:35 GMT -5
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
I feel like this is such a personal thing. We called both sets of parents on the way to the hospital both times. My parents lived 7 hours away, drove overnight, and arrived at the hospital to hear the final push through the door. They hung out to meet baby E, then went to my house to take care of our dogs and get some rest. They stayed for a week I think. I couldn't have done it without my mom. E was a very, very, very challenging, fussy baby and we needed all the hands we could get to hold her. My IL's stopped by for an hour to meet her then left. That worked for everyone.
With my 2nd, my parents came as soon as I went into labor again, picked E up from the nanny, and kept her at our house until we came home (we only stayed 24 hours including labor.) they were super helpful hanging out with big sister, but P was such a sweet, calm, easy baby that I really didn't need their help.
So very long story short, it all depends on your relationship with your families, the kind of baby you have, and your personality. But I will say that you are going to be in pain, swollen and puffy and feeling gross from the inside out. And you'll be too tired to put on makeup or fix your hair and all the pics taken will be appalling reminders of you looking your worst haha. So... keep that in mind too regarding visitors (if you're vain like me.)
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
We told my parents once we were checked into the hospital (my water broke at 3am so didn't want to wake anyone up). Both my parents live 2,000 mikes away and weren't planning to be here for the birth so I had no problem telling them. Although, I ended up being in labor for 30ish hours so having to give updates of "still nothing" was probably a little annoying for MH. We told FIL right away too because he was going to be staying at our house watching our dogs. My sister stopped by the hospital for a bit and it was nice to have company while we were just waiting for things to progress. She only stayed for a short time so I didn't have to worry about telling her to leave or anything like that. I think as long as whoever you tell will respect your wishes of staying away if you don't want visitors, telling them right away isn't a big deal. Just keep in mind that you could be in labor for a while so if you do tell people right away, they're going to expect updates (not that you should feel obligated to give them, just throwing it out there).
We didn't have anyone staying with us when we first got home from the hospital and I was kind of happy to have it that way. I also had no idea what to do with a newborn, but having the time with just MH, myself, and C gave us time to figure out things as a family of 3. My mom did come when C was about 2 weeks old and it was nice to have the help at that point.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married: 2010 | TTC since Jan 2012 Met RE: March 2014 | Official DX: unexplained 04/2014-12/2014: 5 IUIs, all BFN IVF #1 March 2015 25R/20M/17F: Freeze-all, 12 frosties! FET #1 - May 2015: BFP! Beta #1 361, Beta #2 726 Baby boy, C, born 1/19/2016
I would caution against having everyone unless you think you can handle 24/7 attention. We live several hours away from both families and because MH had work he could not miss the week before our due date I had my Dad come to town a week early just in case. DD was a week late and we had a scheduled induction. MIL and brother-in-law as well as all my sister came the night before. Everyone stayed at our house and to get away from eachother came to the hospital all three days I was there. We literally had people from 8 am to 9 pm EVERYDAY. My father in law tried to walk in the room as they wheeled me in right after delivery. Thank God I was still pretty high from the meds. I think we did not get a moment to ourselves the day she was born until 10 pm and we had her at 2 pm. Long story short this time around, except for those we ask to watch DD no one is getting a call until after the birth.
It's a really complicated and personal decision. I felt eincrwdibly strongly that we not have family with us the first few days as we were learning to be parents.
However, I acquiesced and said my parents could visit in the hospital. We called after BabyShy arrived and asked them to come visit in the hospital and help us get home from the hospital. (The roads were closed so after a blizzard they hiked to the Uber waiting for them at the main road). As soon as we got home and we're settled, they left and MH was home for a week. When he transitioned back to work, my mom came back to help me.
Bottom line: think about and talk about what works for you, keeping abilities (and personalities) in mind.
ETA: had an emergency c section so it changed the game a bit.
Post by turquoisequeen on Feb 5, 2017 20:41:26 GMT -5
I think it all depends on how close by your families live and what other things may need their attention to help you out (like pets). One set of our parents is very close by and we just let them know when we went to the hospital and said we would update as we felt able. We texted after baby was here and asked them to come visit the next afternoon to give us some alone time. I think if you have family that NEED something to do to feel helpful and may not leave you alone otherwise.. give them some tasks that would help. Our family came to our house and did the dishes and vacuumed and got dinner ready for the day we came home and grabbed a few things we wanted from the grocery store (fresh fruit, milk, etc) . It was nice to come home to a clean house.
teachermomtobe Whatever you're happy with is the right decision for the hospital. As long as the people who would be there are okay with the idea that you have the right to change your mind about anything at any time, you're golden. If YH can run interference if needed (say you want to try BF and need to feed the baby or pump and don't want anyone in the room), that's the most important thing.
When coming home, in my particular case, my mom stayed with us for 2 weeks after. When we planned it, I was a little unsure about it, but it ended up being amazing because I had to BF/pump/bottle feed for 4 weeks and MH was back to running our business immediately, so that wouldn't have been as doable without her. What surprised me most was that I was okay with my MIL staying over for weeks 3-4. Since MH was often working overnight, she helped me with the triple feed stuff. So I'm glad I was open-minded on that score.
Post by teachermomtobe on Feb 5, 2017 21:13:54 GMT -5
I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences and reasoning. I will talk more with DH but I am leaning towards family visiting in the hospital (my parents can stay at our house if they don't want to drive 2 1/2 hours each way) but then coming home just the 3 of us. When DH goes back to work I may want my mom to come back.
I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences and reasoning. I will talk more with DH but I am leaning towards family visiting in the hospital (my parents can stay at our house if they don't want to drive 2 1/2 hours each way) but then coming home just the 3 of us. When DH goes back to work I may want my mom to come back.
I think this sounds like a good plan. I was shocked at how sad I was about mh going back to work. Also, I don't know how long yh has off, but you may or may not be able to drive. So having someone around who could drive you might really help. I had a breakdown and made mh come back home from his first day so he could drive me to the breastfeeding support group.
We are thinking about getting the Halo Bassinet to keep baby girl close to the bed, until we are ready to transition her to the nursery.
The question is how long should we anticipate her sleeping next to our bed? I know eventually we want her to sleep in her nursery. Also, will she outgrow the bassinet soon, like within weeks? I'm kind of clueless.
Also, when did you start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions? I'm 23 weeks and I've been feeling like these little tense feelings in my uterus some days.
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
In my birthing class they recommended not telling people until it was nearly happening. So once you are nearly fully dilated or getting wheeled to the OR (if that's the plan or case). Mainly because you don't want people rushing right over to the hospital if you may be in labor for quite a while. That's not really a time you want to "entertain". Even if people aren't close, you're bound to keep getting calls or texts asking for updates which can be really annoying. Obviously it depends on your wishes and what makes you most comfortable. I didn't want anyone other than DH there. That's me though. Oddly enough, my parents ended up being in town when my water broke and we had to keep them at bay because I was in labor for a very long time and didn't want to see anyone. I think I finally let them in just before I ended up going in for a c/s but asked my nurse to make sure we kept it short.
ttcbabyj we used (and loved) the rock n play. She was right by my side for 6 weeks and then transitioned into her crib. Everyone is different, but I was happy we went with the rnp overabassimet.
ETA: I preferred it to a bassinet because even after a c section, I could move it around the apartment. And also, it was great because we had a baby who didn't like to be flat.
ttcbabyj we used (and loved) the rock n play. She was right by my side for 6 weeks and then transitioned into her crib. Everyone is different, but I was happy we went with the rnp overabassimet.
Natural chemical pregnancy 8/2013 Clomid #1 and #2: BFN IVF 1 :0 to use IVF 2:4 great embryos after PGS testing. FET 1: BFP EDD 6/20/15 Chemical Pregnancy FET 2: BFP EDD 11/14/2015 MMC 9.5 weeks twins IVF #3: 2 fair embryos after PGS testing Surprise BFP during break cycle and DD born 4/2016
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
I had a scheduled c section so my parents arrived at the hospital 3 hrs after surgery. My parents stayed for 3 weeks after the birth because I assumed c section recovery would be a nightmare, but it wasn't so 3 weeks was way too long!
teachermomtobe all of our family is close. My dad was for whatever we wanted, my MIL was insisting she be at the hospital to wait. H and I decided that we would tell my dad when going to throw hospital so he could get our dog to stay at his house, and we wouldn't tell MIL until baby was here. My water actually broke while in laws were in Norway, so we went ahead and told them.
I didn't think I'd want anyone there at all, but I had a friend come twice (over 32 hours of labor) and she was a great distraction. She also knew when to leave, so that was nice.
M was born at 12:10am. H called parents and siblings to let them know I was okay after c section and sex of the baby since we were team green. We then told everyone we would call when we were ready for visitors, so we invited people to stop by after 10 the next morning I think, after I had had a chance to shower.
H had to go back to work almost immediately, but my dad was able to drive me around. MIL came over to help and let me get sleep. Then she made comments about how cluttered my house was (with baby stuff) so she wasn't invited back.
It's okay to ask people to leave. They need to be there to support you. If they aren't supportive they don't really need to be there.
ttcbabyj we used both. I was fine with the bassinet at first, but once reflux happened the RnP was a life saver. I do like that he had times where he slept flat in the bassinet, I think it made crib transition easier.
We moved M out of our room at 4 months. He was a really loud sleeper and I kept checking on him, which woke him up. We all sleep better with him in a different room.
We are thinking about getting the Halo Bassinet to keep baby girl close to the bed, until we are ready to transition her to the nursery.
The question is how long should we anticipate her sleeping next to our bed? I know eventually we want her to sleep in her nursery. Also, will she outgrow the bassinet soon, like within weeks? I'm kind of clueless.
Also, when did you start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions? I'm 23 weeks and I've been feeling like these little tense feelings in my uterus some days.
We went with the Pack n Play instead of a bassinet because I thought we'd get more use out of it. We kept C in our room until he was about 4 months old. At that point I was back at work and my getting ready in the morning seemed to be waking him up. The transition from the PnP to the crib was really seamless since he laid flat in the PnP and was going to the crib where he also laid flat. I think the transition was harder for me since I had really gotten used to being able to peek over at him to check on him whenever I woke up.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married: 2010 | TTC since Jan 2012 Met RE: March 2014 | Official DX: unexplained 04/2014-12/2014: 5 IUIs, all BFN IVF #1 March 2015 25R/20M/17F: Freeze-all, 12 frosties! FET #1 - May 2015: BFP! Beta #1 361, Beta #2 726 Baby boy, C, born 1/19/2016
Thinking ahead to the birth: we are trying to decide when we would notify our families (in labor, after birth, etc) and what we want for visitors. I'd be happy if both families visited in the hospital and then gave us time alone. I'm also terrified of bring home a neeborn and having no idea what to do with just DH and myself.
As others have said, this is very personal. I tend to want a lot of personal space, but was ok with family being at hospital right away (plus there was probably no stopping either side!). Don't be afraid to tell people when you need to rest though (i.e. kick them out). Everyone will understand.
For me, it was when we got home that I kind of went "oh shit". I couldn't do stairs (C-section), and I took for granted that everything we needed was already in the one room in the hospital. People brought meals over, and it was a huge help. Play it a bit by ear, set expectations, and again, tell people when you've had enough.
We are thinking about getting the Halo Bassinet to keep baby girl close to the bed, until we are ready to transition her to the nursery.
The question is how long should we anticipate her sleeping next to our bed? I know eventually we want her to sleep in her nursery. Also, will she outgrow the bassinet soon, like within weeks? I'm kind of clueless.
Also, when did you start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions? I'm 23 weeks and I've been feeling like these little tense feelings in my uterus some days.
My baby would have no parts of the fancy, passed down generation to generation bassinet we had. The RnP was a 4am construction project that saved our lives. It cuddles them in (and vibrates), rather than the bassinet where they just lay flat.
She was in the RnP in our room for 10 weeks, and then we transitioned her. As others have said, this is going to vary widely among parents. I felt like I was on the early side at 10 weeks, but some people go right to crib. The book I read said to transition between 2 and 4 months, and you really need to set the routine by 4 months.
She won't grow out of it. I reverted back to it for one night when she was supa sick around 6 months, and my baby is gigantic.
BH at 23 weeks sounds about right. I don't remember specifically when they started.
We are thinking about getting the Halo Bassinet to keep baby girl close to the bed, until we are ready to transition her to the nursery.
The question is how long should we anticipate her sleeping next to our bed? I know eventually we want her to sleep in her nursery. Also, will she outgrow the bassinet soon, like within weeks? I'm kind of clueless.
Also, when did you start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions? I'm 23 weeks and I've been feeling like these little tense feelings in my uterus some days.
We attached the crib to the side of our bed as a bed extender. It made side nursing to sleep super easy. M still sleeps with us and will until he's ready for his own room (I realize this isn't typical). The AAP did just recommend cosleeping for 12 months, but everyone is different.
Post by fightersince83 on Feb 6, 2017 14:54:33 GMT -5
Regarding visitors at the hospital I will add that my hospital does a "golden hour" post delivery. It was longer for DD since she was born via c-section. She got skin to skin with DH right away in the baby bonding/recovery room and then I got an hour of skin to skin bonding time with her. After that it was our call as to when they would allow people to come up and see us. I allowed my parents to come in and DH's bff because he doesn't really have family so he was kinda like his family.
ttcbabyj , We had a bassinet and a RnP and I preferred the bassinet because the RnP can limit their movement and increase risk of things like torticollis (tight neck muscle, which WF got) and plagiocephaly (which WF also got, but more as a function of the torticollis). (WF was team no1curr where she slept the first few weeks, so she was fine with either.) We did end up having her in the RnP a lot despite the tort, because she also developed reflux. But as far as fitting in a bassinet, they should have the actual weight limit somewhere on Halo's site. Obvi that can vary baby to baby, but at the latest, you'll need her out of there by the time she starts thinking about rolling, which can be as early as 3 months or so. (Or earlier, sometimes, but not too often.) IIRC, we had WF mostly in a crib by 11-12 weeks. (And then the sleep sh*t-show after that was a whole other story.) ETA: let's start a running tally of how many parenthetical statements I can use in a single post.
Post by dancerspose on Feb 6, 2017 18:24:09 GMT -5
ttcbabyj our plan was to use a pack n play with a bassinet inset in our room for the first few months before transitioning to the crib. Best laid plans and all, Z will not sleep in the thing at all. Best theory we have is she still likes feeling something with sides around her, not flat. A rock n play was a lifesaver so we have that next to our bed for her currently.
I'm not sure yet when we'll transition to her crib, but I know the current recommendation from the pediatrician association is to have your baby in your room until one year. That said, I don't know think I know anyone who went longer than 6 months.
Post by remylove1011 on Feb 6, 2017 21:12:08 GMT -5
ttcbabyj DD is still in our room in a packnplay. She's 5.5 months. We initially had the raised sleeper portion in it a long with the changing table portion, but lowered it when she went over the weight limit. For us this has worked and continues to work well. We have no set plans on when to move her to her room. I think how long you keep baby in your room is a personal decision, but just as an information sharing the American Academy of Pediatrics does have recommendations on this. It's 6 months-1 year of room sharing (not co-sleeping, just being in the same room as baby) to decrease SIDS. I'm not sure we'll make it to that year mark, but we'll be past the 6 month point.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
ttcbabyj our plan was to use a pack n play with a bassinet inset in our room for the first few months before transitioning to the crib. Best laid plans and all, Z will not sleep in the thing at all. Best theory we have is she still likes feeling something with sides around her, not flat. A rock n play was a lifesaver so we have that next to our bed for her currently.
I'm not sure yet when we'll transition to her crib, but I know the current recommendation from the pediatrician association is to have your baby in your room until one year. That said, I don't know think I know anyone who went longer than 6 months.
teachermomtobe even if you want it to be just the three of you, it was really nice to have someone come do the dishes and laundry and clean so that DH could sleep or bond. One of my friends had an online sign up of ppl to bring meals and clean. Also if things go south it's nice to know your mom could stay or step in to help.
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ttcbabyj it seems like I am the only one without a rock n play. I got the Guava Lotus travel crib (for travel) and then bought the bassinet conversion kit for it and that's what we are using for our in house bassinet. If you are considering the Halo (which is $$$) I would consider this setup instead as it's in the same price range and you get out of it a travel crib and a bassinet that you can use for in home or for travel. Also, it's very light and can be moved easily from room to room. The Halo is heavy. I have the bassinet in our bedroom at night and in the living room during the day for naps. If you do get this bassinet buy the Kushies bassinet sheets from Amazon! The Lotus brand ones are scratchy and overpriced.
However, I know I got lucky in that I have a baby that will sleep no problem in a flat bassinet. I have many friends who have said the rock n play was a life saver and was the only thing their kids would sleep in. My kid is the opposite and will only sleep in the bassinet - she seems to think swings and bouncy chairs are fun rides to stay awake in
teachermomtobe what everyone else said, but I would also recommend spacing out your visitors. My DD is 7 weeks now and for the first month, we had tons of help and a million visitors. It was great but a little overwhelming. And now, suddenly, H is back at work, everyone is done visiting, and I'm alone with the baby all day. In retrospect it would have maybe been nice to have someone here at this point, to transition from the early newborn visiting madness to the kind of isolated daily grind reality of caring for an infant.
ttcbabyj, we used the RnP until about 5 months when she flat out sat up in it and started trying to get out. We moved her to her own room at about 4.5 month. We went cold turkey in the crib without a swaddle and toughed it out for about a week. As soon as she learned to roll onto to her tummy she started sleeping really well.
TTC #1: March 2014 Dx: MFI Medicated IUI #1: March 2015-BFP Baby Girl born 11/5/2015! TTC #2: August 2016 Medicated IUI #1: Feb 2017-BFN Medicated IUI #2: March 2017-BFP Baby Boy expected Dec. 1
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