I don't know how to do that. I'm really bad at impulse buying.
Normally I am too, but we are going to be living off of savings (kinda) for a while once baby comes so I'm trying to be really careful.
I so wanted this cute maternity dress and I'm obsessed with some of the toys at Target but tried to ask myself "want or need" each time I picked something up. The only "want" I let myself have was a shopping cart cover. I've wanted one forever because I liked the idea of a barrier between the cart and baby.
Hopefully your baby will go in the cart! We have two of those and only used them once or twice as DS1 refuses to be in the cart..
I wouldn't recommend buying better slippers for use at the hospital unless you are buying them solely with L&D in mind. You never know if they're going to stay clean enough to bring back home after.
Yeah I was going to look for something on clearance. I plan on throwing away my flip flops that I've packed too.
In used a pair of flip flops from like Old navy or something.
No idea. I apparently need to do some more digging because there are multiple campuses on the hospital. So I'm hoping she works in another campus.
The women's hospital is part of a bigger hospital system. The main hospital is about 15 minutes away but there's other satellite areas farther away. As far as I know, the women's hospital is the only one under the system that has its own specific name instead of being "X Hospital - Y campus"
My husband thinks I'm being a raging bitch because I don't want my MIL here a week after I push a baby out my vagina. And I want to clobber him upside the head for not giving a shit about my feelings.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
I have a two week limit on my ILs. I give no fucks whether she likes it or DH thinks it is fair
ETA: its due to the shit she pulled when DS1 was born and I'm not putting up with it again.
I need to buy better slippers. Mine have zero traction.
ETA: I have Vaseline packed for my lips.
I wouldn't recommend buying better slippers for use at the hospital unless you are buying them solely with L&D in mind. You never know if they're going to stay clean enough to bring back home after.
They gave me socks but I pretty much was just barefoot. I never left my room until discharge.
Safety reminder: infant seats need to go in the actual buggy, not on top seat/handle bar as you will normally see in the cart. I didn't know this until someone else told me shortly before I had DS1...
There was one time I had hit an unseen pothole in the lot with the cart and DS would have toppled off if he was on the handle bar/top seat combo. Since he was in the back, his car seat only rocked a bit /anecdote
My husband thinks I'm being a raging bitch because I don't want my MIL here a week after I push a baby out my vagina. And I want to clobber him upside the head for not giving a shit about my feelings.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
You are not being unreasonable at all. Is he pushing a baby out of himself? Then he can take a step back and realize that post-birth is super vulnerable and you should only have the people that make you feel safe and comfortable around. Shouldn't he know this from DD?
Sorry, this topic gets me heated lol. #teamyoualltheway
W she pulled this shit when my DD was born. It was the most miserable week of my life. It ended in me having a sobbing meltdown. I really don't want her here. But I do feel guilty that my family is coming to visit (granted their visit was planned before we conceived this baby because they're coming for my graduation).
No guilt! And especially no on her coming if she fucked up your last postpartum time.
Anecdote: My parents are getting on a plane as soon as I'm in labor. H's family can't come till at least a month after the birth. Fair does not mean equal when it comes to this.
My husband thinks I'm being a raging bitch because I don't want my MIL here a week after I push a baby out my vagina. And I want to clobber him upside the head for not giving a shit about my feelings.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
NOT unreasonable at all. I hated having so many visitors for so long when DD was born. I even had to go to another room to breastfeed my days old baby in MY OWN HOME because I was uncomfortable around my in-laws. Girl, you do what you think will be right FOR YOU! This is about you and your baby. No one else. They can come spend more time when YOU'RE ready.
My husband thinks I'm being a raging bitch because I don't want my MIL here a week after I push a baby out my vagina. And I want to clobber him upside the head for not giving a shit about my feelings.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
You are not being unreasonable at all. Is he pushing a baby out of himself? Then he can take a step back and realize that post-birth is super vulnerable and you should only have the people that make you feel safe and comfortable around. Shouldn't he know this from DD?
Sorry, this topic gets me heated lol. #teamyoualltheway
The nurse that did our tour at the birth center said the exact same thing. Grandmothers also tend to relive their own deliveries and how they felt but may neglect to realize you may not feel the same, according to the nurse
I'm now remembering when FIL told me I had no say in when he came to visit, and that he'd be here in May. Keep it up, old man, and you'll be lucky if you meet her before her first birthday.
I'm now remembering when FIL told me I had no say in when he came to visit, and that he'd be here in May. Keep it up, old man, and you'll be lucky if you meet her before her first birthday.
I'm now remembering when FIL told me I had no say in when he came to visit, and that he'd be here in May. Keep it up, old man, and you'll be lucky if you meet her before her first birthday.
ladytiffany24, right? I was speechless with rage. H talked to him later and FIL insisted he was just kidding. Yeah, okay. In the same conversation, he also condescendingly said "well you might not have a choice" when I mentioned that I'd be trying to avoid meds (H had brought up something that prompted me saying it). He wasn't even at his son's birth!
lol I'm rage-hijacking this, sorry ourcrazynavylife! But I fully support you putting a damn MIL electric fence around your house if you have to.
My husband thinks I'm being a raging bitch because I don't want my MIL here a week after I push a baby out my vagina. And I want to clobber him upside the head for not giving a shit about my feelings.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
Team everyone on this one: Not unreasonable, especially considering it was a bad experience with your first.
Person who pushes or has baby cut out of them gets complete and final say in when people visit. You need to heal, and it's not just physically.
ladytiffany24 , right? I was speechless with rage. H talked to him later and FIL insisted he was just kidding. Yeah, okay. In the same conversation, he also condescendingly said "well you might not have a choice" when I mentioned that I'd be trying to avoid meds (H had brought up something that prompted me saying it). He wasn't even at his son's birth!
lol I'm rage-hijacking this, sorry ourcrazynavylife ! But I fully support you putting a damn MIL electric fence around your house if you have to.
What the F to your FIL. I'm a believer that things said even in jest have a little truth to them. He needs to learn to keep his thoughts to himself (or at least not say them out loud in front of you).
Thank you everybody. I'm just trying to figure out a good compromise for her to come visit because I do feel bad. But she drives me bananas.
How far away is she? My ILs have to fly in (thankfully) and we're limiting them to a long weekend. Plus they're staying at a hotel (walking distance). They were at my SIL's for a week, but so far they seem fine with a shorter time frame. If they complain, too bad, because neither H nor I can handle them much longer than 4 days.
Thank you everybody. I'm just trying to figure out a good compromise for her to come visit because I do feel bad. But she drives me bananas.
At least you feel bad!
I give no fucks to the rules I have in place:
Come the two week ban, the rules are:
-visit for up to 7 days, provided DH is off -each day is limited to 3 hours max and must find something else to do with their time as I cannot tolerate her for any longer than that and she'd stay for 12 hours straight holding the baby if we'd let her -they must stay in their own hotel (they are not allowed to stay overnight with us, ever) -no alcohol -any overstepping will get them kicked out prior to 3 hours being up.
Thank you everybody. I'm just trying to figure out a good compromise for her to come visit because I do feel bad. But she drives me bananas.
At least you feel bad!
I give no fucks to the rules I have in place:
Come the two week ban, the rules are:
-visit for up to 7 days, provided DH is off -each day is limited to 3 hours max and must find something else to do with their time as I cannot tolerate her for any longer than that and she'd stay for 12 hours straight holding the baby if we'd let her -they must stay in their own hotel (they are not allowed to stay overnight with us, ever) -no alcohol -any overstepping will get them kicked out prior to 3 hours being up.
I give no dicks.
That should say fucks but I'm leaving it
Oh yes, we have other rules which we won't spell out unless needed. They get to hold baby as long as I want them to. When I want baby back, for any reason or no reason at all, that's it. We will not entertain them. If they need something to do, it's a big city, go out and do it. Also not cooking for them unless by some miracle H or I want to.
Post by ourcrazynavylife on Feb 13, 2017 14:03:58 GMT -5
They're not bad and she really does mean well. But she does stress me out because they're not "easy" houseguests like my family. She always needs to be entertained or wants to go do things and they don't clean up their messes.
I think we've come up with a good compromise. I asked my cousin if she would switch her plans and come around little man's guess date and then MIL could come around Memorial Day (when my cousin was supposed to come originally).
They're not bad and she really does mean well. But she does stress me out because they're not "easy" houseguests like my family. She always needs to be entertained or wants to go do things and they don't clean up their messes.
I think we've come up with a good compromise. I asked my cousin if she would switch her plans and come around little man's guess date and then MIL could come around Memorial Day (when my cousin was supposed to come originally).
I'm in a similar boat. My ILs are fantastic. But they're not easy house guests either. Thankfully they don't stay with us because they know they have high standards for the bed they sleep in, etc. They also don't just jump in and do things like my family will, which would be helpful with a newborn.
Your compromise sounds good! Hope she doesn't push back.
I'm arguing with billing departments today, apparently. My MWs' billing company billed last weeks 28 app as a separate appointment using the wrong code so my insurance is charging a copay.. I have complete maternity coverage when it's billed as routine supervision for pregnancy but not when the bill it as a general visit. Bleh. I hate billing companies
Normally I am too, but we are going to be living off of savings (kinda) for a while once baby comes so I'm trying to be really careful.
I so wanted this cute maternity dress and I'm obsessed with some of the toys at Target but tried to ask myself "want or need" each time I picked something up. The only "want" I let myself have was a shopping cart cover. I've wanted one forever because I liked the idea of a barrier between the cart and baby.
Hopefully your baby will go in the cart! We have two of those and only used them once or twice as DS1 refuses to be in the cart..
Hopefully your baby will go in the cart! We have two of those and only used them once or twice as DS1 refuses to be in the cart..
Did not consider this...
Yeah... babies are weird, man
you know those moms who have their toddlers in baby carriers on their backs while shopping? Yeah, I'm one of those for that reason. He won't go in a cart, and he won't go in a stroller. It's be carried, stand and throw a temper tantrum for hours, or run around like a maniac. We've tried, many times. He just won't do it, and it's not worth the screaming and fighting to us.
I think the first time we tried without him being in the car seat was around 5 months when he was able to sit up supported. He would only tolerate being in his car seat in the cart if he was sleeping or being moved. The moment the cart stopped moving, he was done with it
Post by ladytiffany24 on Feb 13, 2017 15:27:33 GMT -5
My ILs are also not easy houseguests. But they always stay with us. And MIL came up on her own in October and stayed for 2 weeks (it's a long story and it involves her being manipulative regarding the length of time she was staying). But yea, that'll never happen again. I wouldn't be so anti people staying so damn long if they'd get their own hotel. Problem is, we have more than enough room at our house so everyone assumes they can just stay whenever they want to visit. This is a totally different situation though. Newborn baby in the house and you are in the way. Ugh.
Working from home is pretty sweet. I've taken over the office and the desktop so H is keeping himself busy making an adorable cat door and baking cookies.
Thank you everybody. I'm just trying to figure out a good compromise for her to come visit because I do feel bad. But she drives me bananas.
At least you feel bad!
I give no fucks to the rules I have in place:
Come the two week ban, the rules are:
-visit for up to 7 days, provided DH is off -each day is limited to 3 hours max and must find something else to do with their time as I cannot tolerate her for any longer than that and she'd stay for 12 hours straight holding the baby if we'd let her -they must stay in their own hotel (they are not allowed to stay overnight with us, ever) -no alcohol -any overstepping will get them kicked out prior to 3 hours being up.
I give no dicks.
That should say fucks but I'm leaving it
This list is similar to our rules for FIL, except he can't come for a month and then it has to be for only a few days.
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