So I'm going back to work next week and I'm not handling it very well. I teach 2nd grade and I'm not looking forward to having to "be on" all day. It's not like I can just leave my classroom and take a minute to myself if I need to. I'll start back next Thursday and do half days that day and Friday before going back full time. I hate this feeling. It feels like another step further from Elizabeth. At least at home I can "mother" her by thinking of her and going through her pictures or clothes. But at work I have to put all of that aside and be there for my students. Any tips, advice, hair pats you can offer will be much appreciated.
I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice. I can't imagine how rough that's going to be, but I'm glad you are able to stay with half days. If only a couple. Do you have an aide in your room?
I work from home so I don't have much advice. But I can say, for me, getting back into the grind helped me move forward in a way. It's still very difficult to take that step.
Post by fikafairy67 on Mar 1, 2017 15:37:39 GMT -5
I felt a lot of the same things you did, only I work in education consulting. I went back after 6 weeks because I just couldn't stare at my living room walls anymore.
I would recommend seeing if you can work something out with your principal/counselor, to see if you can have someone available to cover your class for a few minutes if/when needed. Knowing you have that backup if you need it can be really helpful. It may also help if you decide ahead of time how you want them to handle your loss (e.g. do you want to tell your students? do they already know? how do you want them to ask about your absence? etc.)
For me personally, needing to be "on" all day long actually helped me get out of the fog I was in. I still come home exhausted more often than not, but in a lot of ways going back to work helped me focus on something OTHER than my own grief.
Best of luck, I hope your first days back are smooth for you! *hugs*
Hugs and hair pats. It's really hard, but you'll be okay. I too had the hardest part with it seeming like another step away from my baby. I was incredibly sad because I felt like I was moving away from the time I had with her, but in the end going back was okay. It's been serving as a bit of a distraction. I teach high school and I have had a few times where I have cried at my desk during my prep or lunch, I haven't in front of students, yet. For me, the easiest part of work was actually teaching my students, while the hardest has been when I'm alone in my classroom. Good luck and we're here when you need us.
Thanks everyone. @led, no aide. But my long term sub will be with me the two half days next week.
fikafairy67, our school counselor told my class when I left on maternity leave which will be so helpful. That way I won't be breaking the news or answering lots of questions.
I think it'll be good to get back into a routine and not be home alone all day but I find the world to be a terrifying place now and change causes so much anxiety after losing her.
I work from home so my situation is very different from yours, but (((hugs))) it will get better.
For me going back to work was a relief and it felt good to get back into a routine. I only took 6 weeks off and I'm glad I did because being off work longer would have been counter productive for me. I spent my leave crafting and doing holiday prep work so I was "busy" but my schedule was all out of whack.
I returned to work two weeks after my daughter passed. It was too hard just sitting at home. My coworkers were great and accommodating when I couldn't handle something.
Post by heartpresidents on Mar 6, 2017 9:20:34 GMT -5
I don't have any advice, but lots of hugs being sent! I work in an office so I was able to kind of escape and not deal with people when I couldn't handle it anymore. The good part was that it was a distraction and offered something "normal" I guess. But like you said, I missed being able to "mother" Lincoln.
I'm also a teacher but for middle school. I went back about 6 weeks after Everett was born. However,it was the beginning of the school year so that may have made it easier. As you know, you have to be "on" with teaching and I actually found myself not thinking about him much when students were in the room. There were tough days like when we were talking about Day of the Dead which also happened to be his due date. On the days I felt like I was going to burst into tears, I would just try to focus on my students and then let myself feel during lunch or plan. I noticed (notice?) that my attention span during plan isn't as good and I give myself little breaks to help myself focus. I hope your first days go well.
Jan '13: TI w/letrozole, BFP, DS born Oct '13 Dec '15: IUI#1, BFN Jan '16: Cancelled IUI (too many follicles) Feb '16: IUI#2, BFP, DS2 stillborn June'16 @22 weeks We love you baby boy! Aug '16: D&C for retained placenta Oct '16: Removal of interuterine adhesions Jan '17: IUI#3 No ovulation?!? Feb '17: IUI#4, BFN IVF sometime this summer
fknhostile, today was my first day back. I went in for a few hours to meet with my team. It was actually good to see them again. I'll go in for half days tomorrow and Friday to be with my students. My sub will be with me those days so I can run to the bathroom or step out if I need to.
@led, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. It'll be good for me to get back into the routine of things and be with people. Being alone in my house isn't good for me anymore. I needed it at first but now it's too much being alone all day.
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