Trying to stay positive (fingers, toes, everything crossed)

[rm2013]

Hi ladies, I apologize for not being very active lately, I've really been struggling with PGAL brain due to my first loss a few months ago. It's been hard to not worry over every little thing, so I kind of pulled back from here.

I've had a nagging worry that my symptoms weren't strong enough, and am trying not to freak out this morning because I'm 7w and tried feeling around my belly to see if I could find my uterus and can't feel any bulge or anything. (I'm pretty small so I should definitely be able to feel it). I'm sitting here crying because I'm thinking the worst and just hoping everything is really ok. I have my first appt tmo but it seems like an eternity. Thanks for letting me vent, I just really need to get this out with people who would understand.

[mrsklm09]

Sending so many hugs! We're here so vent as much as you need.

[Cythe]

I know PGAL brain is so, so hard and I'm sorry you're struggling. At 7 weeks you will not feel your uterus (and not at your belly button) as its still hanging out behind your pelvic bone. If you really want to go poking and digging by the bone for it, I still don't think you'll have much feeling it this early, so don't freak out! I think about 12 weeks is when it meanders up towards your belly button.

Hang in there, I know it's hard! I will be crossing everything for you and your appt tomorrow!

[bootsorhearts]

I can relate to the PGAL brain! Hang in there, I'm sure everything is fine. Usually they can't feel your uterus unless they also have a hand on the inside (sorry, gross).

[Rama]

Mar 2, 2017 8:47:16 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

Hi ladies, I apologize for not being very active lately, I've really been struggling with PGAL brain due to my first loss a few months ago. It's been hard to not worry over every little thing, so I kind of pulled back from here.

I've had a nagging worry that my symptoms weren't strong enough, and am trying not to freak out this morning because I'm 7w and tried feeling around my belly to see if I could find my uterus and can't feel any bulge or anything. (I'm pretty small so I should definitely be able to feel it). I'm sitting here crying because I'm thinking the worst and just hoping everything is really ok. I have my first appt tmo but it seems like an eternity. Thanks for letting me vent, I just really need to get this out with people who would understand.

PgAL is the absolute worst. I'm so sorry it's been taking a toll on you.

Let me assure you, though, that no matter how small you are, your uterus at 7w is still well inside your pelvis. It doesn't matter how small you are, it's impossible to feel the fundus right now. Even if you were carrying quads, four blueberries would not be big enough to pop your uterus out of its cradle.

I know better that to tell you to calm down, because, hey. If it were that easy, we'd all be able to. Take it hour by hour if you have to. Tomorrow is coming. I'm looking forward to hearing good news.

And chatting in randoms did great for me ticking away the time for my appointment. Maybe if you join in more, it'll help pass the time? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow regardless.

[bubblefan]

Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts for tomorrow!

[sunshineandbabytoes]

I have been doing this the last few days. Feeling for hardening of my uterus.. I know better. This is #3. I just want a sign. So we can be crazy together!

[mimi]

Hugs, mama. I know it's hard not to worry, but ^^these ladies are wise - there's no way you should expect to feel your ute at 7 weeks, not matter how small you are. I didn't feel mine until 13ish weeks with my first. And I had very few symptoms. None of that means anything is wrong.

[littleowl913]

((hugs)) PGAL brain is the worst and I struggle with it too. Just try to keep your mind busy until tomorrow. Being on here definitely helped pass the time when I was PG with my rainbow.

[rm2013]

Mar 2, 2017 9:34:54 GMT -5 Rama said:

Mar 2, 2017 8:47:16 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

Hi ladies, I apologize for not being very active lately, I've really been struggling with PGAL brain due to my first loss a few months ago. It's been hard to not worry over every little thing, so I kind of pulled back from here.

I've had a nagging worry that my symptoms weren't strong enough, and am trying not to freak out this morning because I'm 7w and tried feeling around my belly to see if I could find my uterus and can't feel any bulge or anything. (I'm pretty small so I should definitely be able to feel it). I'm sitting here crying because I'm thinking the worst and just hoping everything is really ok. I have my first appt tmo but it seems like an eternity. Thanks for letting me vent, I just really need to get this out with people who would understand.

PgAL is the absolute worst. I'm so sorry it's been taking a toll on you.

Let me assure you, though, that no matter how small you are, your uterus at 7w is still well inside your pelvis. It doesn't matter how small you are, it's impossible to feel the fundus right now. Even if you were carrying quads, four blueberries would not be big enough to pop your uterus out of its cradle.

I know better that to tell you to calm down, because, hey. If it were that easy, we'd all be able to. Take it hour by hour if you have to. Tomorrow is coming. I'm looking forward to hearing good news.

And chatting in randoms did great for me ticking away the time for my appointment. Maybe if you join in more, it'll help pass the time? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow regardless.

Thanks Rama. I was pressing right above my pubic bone (around my c/s scar from DD1) and it just felt so.... empty. I swore even with my loss at 8w that I felt more fullness, so it just freaked me out.

I'll definitely try my best to take your advice! I honestly have been scared of getting too attached to this board ☹️

[rm2013]

Thanks ladies for all the kind words. It really helped me off the ledge. Last time just was such a shock, I went in for my 1st appt at 10wks feeling like everything was fine and we found out I had a MMC at 8 weeks. This go round my DH wanted me to wait until passing that loss milestone for the first appt, but I told him I'd rather have the chance to see a HB once even if something were to happen after that. With all my prior pregnancies I've had raging all day MS by now so that's making it harder to not think about what ifs.

[Rama]

Mar 2, 2017 11:44:13 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

Mar 2, 2017 9:34:54 GMT -5 Rama said:

PgAL is the absolute worst. I'm so sorry it's been taking a toll on you.

Let me assure you, though, that no matter how small you are, your uterus at 7w is still well inside your pelvis. It doesn't matter how small you are, it's impossible to feel the fundus right now. Even if you were carrying quads, four blueberries would not be big enough to pop your uterus out of its cradle.

I know better that to tell you to calm down, because, hey. If it were that easy, we'd all be able to. Take it hour by hour if you have to. Tomorrow is coming. I'm looking forward to hearing good news. :)

And chatting in randoms did great for me ticking away the time for my appointment. Maybe if you join in more, it'll help pass the time? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow regardless. <3

Thanks Rama. I was pressing right above my pubic bone (around my c/s scar from DD1) and it just felt so.... empty. I swore even with my loss at 8w that I felt more fullness, so it just freaked me out.

I'll definitely try my best to take your advice! I honestly have been scared of getting too attached to this board ☹️

I want to hug you. I hate PgAL.

It could be that you felt some bloating last time. I know gas has definitely been so bad for me (especially lately) it makes me feel like an overfilled water balloon. It's no bueno.

You are an October 17 mom forever. No matter what happens tomorrow or later. You belong here. It's okay to be scared, but try not to be scared of growing friends. We'll be here to support you and cheer for you and cry with you. You don't need to be scared of us. <3

[NariaDreaming]

You belong here. And I know PGAL brain sucks.

Would it be helpful if we started a weekly PGAL/PAIF check-in?

[abfor3]

Mar 2, 2017 11:59:45 GMT -5 NariaDreaming said:

You belong here. And I know PGAL brain sucks.

Would it be helpful if we started a weekly PGAL/PAIF check-in?

I would love that. I know I'm riding the PGAL strugglebus all day/every day.

[carsaidyes]

vent away girlfriend. I am kinda in the same boat as you as far as symptoms go. I hope tomorrow is speeding your way. I know its so hard to be positive after a loss but I hope tomorrows appt will bring you peace and comfort. ((HUGS))

[carsaidyes]

Mar 2, 2017 12:11:45 GMT -5 abfor3 said:

Mar 2, 2017 11:59:45 GMT -5 NariaDreaming said:

You belong here. And I know PGAL brain sucks.

Would it be helpful if we started a weekly PGAL/PAIF check-in?

I would love that. I know I'm riding the PGAL strugglebus all day/every day.

Me too! I would love a PGAL/PAIF check in. 

[brittneysandra]

I can also relate! Praying that time passes by quickly!!

[brittneysandra]

Mar 2, 2017 12:44:08 GMT -5 carsaidyes said:

Mar 2, 2017 12:11:45 GMT -5 abfor3 said:

I would love that. I know I'm riding the PGAL strugglebus all day/every day.

Me too! I would love a PGAL/PAIF check in. 

+1

[rm2013]

Mar 2, 2017 11:59:45 GMT -5 NariaDreaming said:

You belong here. And I know PGAL brain sucks.

Would it be helpful if we started a weekly PGAL/PAIF check-in?

Thanks NariaDreaming. And a checkin thread would be great!!!

I'm glad I'm not just crazy 😊

[gamergirl360]

Big hugs. We're here for you, so vent away whenever you feel the need.

[thinkingofthree]

mkrupar PgAL = Preg After Loss

Sending thoughts your way rm2013 , I echo what everyone has said above that it's still really early to be able to feel any hardness. PgAL brain is SO hard. If it helps any the Almighty Internet shows that your uterus is barely, barely peeking up at 8 weeks:

[thatgirlrachel]

I'm just here to send you all the hugs and good thoughts. This board is full of great women who have given great advice.

[rm2013]

thinkingofthree thanks that diagram really helps

[thinkingofthree]

Mar 2, 2017 16:35:44 GMT -5 mkrupar said:

Mar 2, 2017 15:49:50 GMT -5 thinkingofthree said:

mkrupar PgAL = Preg After Loss

Sending thoughts your way rm2013 , I echo what everyone has said above that it's still really early to be able to feel any hardness. PgAL brain is SO hard. If it helps any the Almighty Internet shows that your uterus is barely, barely peeking up at 8 weeks:

Oh, I know what it means, I was just saying I don't have any experience with it, so I didn't have any specific advice. I'm just here to dole out the hugs.

Rereading & that's totally what you said, sorry for misunderstanding. I'll blame pregnancy brain?

[cougarette]

Hugs! I've also been feeling around too, even though I know I won't feel anything for weeks yet.

[thechickencoop]

{{hugs}} I hope your appointment brings you some reassurance today.

[Rama]

Thinking about you, rm2013.

[rm2013]

Just coming back from my appt and got to see a happy little bean! 💗💗💗😊😊😊🎉🎉🎉

Thanks so much for the love and support. Baby measured a few days small but had a nice strong heartbeat. PGAL brain can suck it!

[Rama]

Mar 3, 2017 12:24:36 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

Just coming back from my appt and got to see a happy little bean! 💗💗💗😊😊😊🎉🎉🎉

Thanks so much for the love and support. Baby measured a few days small but had a nice strong heartbeat. PGAL brain can suck it!

Yaaaaaay! This is awesome news!!

[Cythe]

Wonderful update!