I keep getting upset at DH. Last night he asked me if it would be okay if he said yes to a 2-night trip in 2 weeks. I cried about that because I feel like the bad guy saying that there's not really a situation where I'm okay with that - if the baby is here, I don't want to be left alone so soon, and if the baby isn't here then he definitely can't go because I'd be induced while he was gone. I just don't even know why he'd be considering it.
Then a friend asked if we wanted to buy tickets with him for a big formal event downtown in 3 weeks. DH was like haha, obviously not. But then today asked if he could go with the friend by himself.
I told him I feel like he's looking for a chance to leave me alone with the baby and I don't appreciate it.
This LO is y'alls first kid right?
I don't think asking to do stuff this close to go time is cool. At all, I think you are justified by getting upset.
moutonrouge I'm with @priss08 he is in complete denial. Quite often the dad doesn't get it until there is a physical baby outside of you. I would be straight with him and tell him you (and 99% of women) are not comfortable with it.
I'm still in denial if I'm being honest. Lol I keep making plans for this week and the I'm like, NOPE, HAVING A BABY TOMORROW.
I keep getting upset at DH. Last night he asked me if it would be okay if he said yes to a 2-night trip in 2 weeks. I cried about that because I feel like the bad guy saying that there's not really a situation where I'm okay with that - if the baby is here, I don't want to be left alone so soon, and if the baby isn't here then he definitely can't go because I'd be induced while he was gone. I just don't even know why he'd be considering it.
Then a friend asked if we wanted to buy tickets with him for a big formal event downtown in 3 weeks. DH was like haha, obviously not. But then today asked if he could go with the friend by himself.
I told him I feel like he's looking for a chance to leave me alone with the baby and I don't appreciate it.
Agree with PPs and I wouldn't be ok with either situation either. With DD1, H went to a 2 night bachelor party in Chicago (we live in New England) when DD was about 4 weeks old. I was NOT happy (& dealing with pretty bad baby blues & struggling with nursing), but it was for his longest term friend so I couldn't tell him not to go. This time, there's another party (a "diaper party"...aka a bachelor party for guys before they have a baby. I had never heard of this before moving to where H works now...is this an actual thing?) at a casino, overnight, about 3 hours away. We're close with the couple having the baby (& I'm hoping to briefly stop by the baby shower for the mom that same day), but it's so convenient that H only ever gets overnight plans when we have a 4+/- week old. I've told him "we'll see"; it depends on how I'm doing with 2 kids b/c I've been SUPER anxious about having to do bedtime x2 alone and he knows that. He clearly hears "yes", though, so I'm sure it'll result in some unhappy conversations as the trip gets closer.
Post by moutonrouge on Mar 4, 2017 19:17:16 GMT -5
Thank you guys for reassuring me. It is our first baby. If I'm being fair, I'm also in denial. Plus I feel torn - I'd like to have the baby now but also I'd like to wait a few days/week/while.
DH is the first of his friends to be having a baby. I know what it's been like for my friends, but he doesn't have that context. And I agree @justinslovo it won't be real for him until baby is here and there are needs to be met and things to do.
He apologized and said he realizes he shouldn't have been considering it or asking me about it. He agreed not to bring up post-baby plans until after baby is here.
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 4, 2017 19:23:40 GMT -5
kaits8 diaper parties are a thing here, but not like what you're describing. Ours generally include a keg and diapers are your ticket to drink from the keg. They are also coed. I've been to one that was a wiffle ball tournament so it was an all day event on a Saturday. They are usually just parties though. And lots of fun!
moutonrouge I agree with others that your H is in denial and has no idea what things are really going to be like. I'm glad he realized he wasn't smart and apologized for even considering the events.
Post by moutonrouge on Mar 4, 2017 19:28:45 GMT -5
Hugs @justinslovo - I'm sorry you're feeling weepy and also have physical discomforts - that's a miserable combo. I hope at the weight check they might have some advice for the puking!
moutonrouge a few weeks ago MH was asked if he could go to some whiskey tasting thing 5 hours away for today. He looked at me and I was like "I'll be 36 weeks, and could go into labor at any point, and would be so sad if you were 5 hours away and drunk." He agreed, and stayed home. I agree he must be in denial this is happening and you just need to be straight with him that you need him and are counting on him to be there.
eta: RTFT and see you talked to him, glad he got the dose of reality needed!
@amc25 congrats on the family all being together! I think everyone would understand if you dropped off the face of the earth for a while to bond with H and baby!
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 4, 2017 22:05:18 GMT -5
My cleaning lady just called me to tell me to leave her a list of extra stuff I want her to do when she comes on Monday. She was saying how excited she is for us and it was the best. But only because she was drunk lol
My DH actually went so far as to buy tickets to Vegas for a bachelor party (one of his best friends) for next weekend. I'll be 38.5 weeks (and we're in Seattle). Honestly I think I was in denial too bc our first came at 39+5 so I was pretty sure we had at least til 39 weeks. But at my 36 week appt when I mentioned it to my OB she practically yelled "NO!" at me. So he's a little disappointed and now hoping baby will come this week instead so he can sneak off for 24 hrs while my parents are here to help. Meanwhile I'd just like baby to stay inside a little longer so I can work and not need to cancel any patients. But if I make it thru this Tuesday (38 weeks) I'll consider it a win work-wise. Oh, and DH is going on a work trip to LA this Mon-Tues. Fingers crossed little man doesn't come during that 24 hrs!
Guess I'm just trying to say I feel you ladies. And this is our second so DH has been thru it before! AAAAAAnd we have the same bachelor party friends wedding in NY about 6ish weeks after my due date. DH is in the wedding so we're making the trek! 😬
moutonrouge, glad y'all talked and he understands. With our first, I don't even think DH got it after she was born. He played hockey two nights a week. I told him to keep doing that, as he had played on those teams for years. But then about two weeks before DD was born he started going out for drinks once a week with his cousin. After doing so two weeks in a row after she was born, I found out they were planning on making this a weekly thing. We had to have a discussion that I couldn't be home all day and evening 3 days in a row.
Then a week or two later his hockey team was planning a camp out when DD was 2 months. They do his yearly and it is a lot of fun, but gets a bit rowdy and lots of drinking. I told him you can't take an infant to that, and he said "fine, I'll just go on my own". Ummm, nope. We had to have another chat, and he stayed home.
It sucks having to have those conversations, but you do have to speak up and tell them what you want/need. They just don't always get it.
Oh you know just up 3am walking my house timing some contractions... seeing if they stick around
Exciting!!
They're definitely getting stronger, and I'm just googling how long they need to happen for until I need to get my "crew" (mom and sister) together lol
daisylola11 I'm timing contractions with a snoring husband next to me too! I thought maybe some of the east coast ladies may be up, but you're west coast like me, right?
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 5, 2017 7:15:11 GMT -5
DS got up at 6 right before DH left for work. We laid in bed for a bit but then I started having contractions about 8 minutes apart so we got up and moving to see if they were legit. They were not.
My pelvis hurts so stinkin bad though. I wanted to cry changing into sweatpants from my pj shorts. Not sure what DS and I will do all day because of it. I need to straighten up my house for my rum loving cleaning lady though.
DD woke up at 615 (normal wake up time is 7ish), so I just let her hang out in her room while I got ready. I saw her get her Finding Nemo sticker book off her dresser and climb back into bed, perfect. About 10 mins later I look at the monitor to see her eating stickers...so now I had to go in. She had 3 stickers in her mouth. Ugh..someday she will know not to eat stickers and I won't have to watch her every move...
Hoping everyone with contractions has a smooth but eventful day! I'm jealous of you all near/at your due date.
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