Leaving hometown

[inwinethereistruth]

I moved 3 hours away for college, and 12 hours away for vet school. I cant even imagine every staying in the same town forever! We now live 1 hour away from both our parents, right outside NYC, but would have no problems moving to Boston, DC, Dallas, London etc... Exploring the world and variety is so much fun, and if its whats best for your kids, you have your answer there.

From a different perspective, I grew up a 2 hours flight (2 day drive) from my maternal grandparents/aunts/uncles and a 4 hours flight from my paternal family, and I dont feel I lost anything or had a crippled childhood or anything.

[grahamcrackers]

I grew up in a beautiful home in a nice town, but the town is a bit too "quiet" for me. Not much for kids to do, and you need to travel to the next town over for gas, groceries, Etc. I now live two towns over and have everything I need, family friendly, and great schools. We don't have as much land as my parents do, and our house is smaller, but it's just right for me. I love where I live.

[moutonrouge]

I am also a SS - I moved away for college, and then moved back about an hour from my hometown after grad school. In that time, my whole family moved away (to the west coast). Dad and stepmom still have their house in my hometown, but their retirement home is in the west coast and they picked it out 5 years ago. So I'd have to move further from 'home' to live near my family. DHs family is about a ten hour drive away.

I am jealous of some friends whose parents follow them and live near them when they (parents) retire. Most of my friends with newborns have their moms or MILs watching the baby. We won't move to get that, but it seems nice from the other side of things.

[Deleted]

Feb 17, 2015 14:41:23 GMT -5 moutonrouge said:

I am also a SS - I moved away for college, and then moved back about an hour from my hometown after grad school. In that time, my whole family moved away (to the west coast). Dad and stepmom still have their house in my hometown, but their retirement home is in the west coast and they picked it out 5 years ago. So I'd have to move further from 'home' to live near my family. DHs family is about a ten hour drive away.

I am jealous of some friends whose parents follow them and live near them when they (parents) retire. Most of my friends with newborns have their moms or MILs watching the baby. We won't move to get that, but it seems nice from the other side of things.

The one thing about my family is I am very close to my parents, but in terms of support, we don't have a lot. I mean, if we needed to go over for dinner then my parents would have us, but if I needed an hour or two to get something done, my parents will not watch my kids. They have never taken my kids over night, which is fine I get it. But my husband and I don't get to go on dates unless I get a babysitter. I have twin boys who are incredibly busy, so getting my parents to watch them is a nightmare.

My in laws live out of town, but they are too old to watch the boys.

So realistically, the only support we have at home is food when we don't want to cook. I live at home and get jealous of my friends who have their parents take their kids for an evening or overnight! lol

[blanche]

My parents basically kicked me out of the nest when I left for college and it was the best thing for me, honestly. They wanted me to leave where I grew up (the west) to go back east for a better education than what the local university could offer. Had I not left, there's no way I would be where I am in my career or in my life generally. Getting out of a comfort zone can be a really good thing. I live on the complete other end of the country from my parents, but still manage to see them several times a year. They stay in touch with my nieces and nephews through facetime and although of course would like to see them more, are thrilled for my siblings and me.

So long story short, go where you will find stability and happiness...

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

Feb 17, 2015 11:10:55 GMT -5 @erin2021 said:

Feb 17, 2015 11:08:20 GMT -5 expatmama11 said:

I live half way around the world from my hometown and don't regret it at all.

Wow that's awesome! I wish we had the balls to do that. My dad keeps saying go to AB (35 driving hours away), because he doesn't want us to struggle, but then I have my mother saying "Oh his (husband) interview didn't go well? Thank God!"- that was referring to an interview 3 hours away, I cannot imagine her reaction to a job in another province!

So it has been a tough pill to swallow lately.

My two cents:

I'd be so irritated with my mom if she did that. You don't need that negativity. You said it yourself: there is NOTHING for you employment-wise where you are right now. You need more that will help develop your careers. I think it is obvious that you guys have given this plenty of thought. It's time. You'll adjust. Everyone will adjust. And time spent together will be more precious.

This is coming from someone who moved from KC to central Illinois right after college. MH's and my families live in KC. We so look forward to the visits home, and their visits to see us.

Edit: spelling

[paloslee]

sorry, i am no help. I have never moved before. i wish you the best of luck!

[Deleted]

Feb 17, 2015 15:47:49 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

Feb 17, 2015 11:10:55 GMT -5 @erin2021 said:

Wow that's awesome! I wish we had the balls to do that. My dad keeps saying go to AB (35 driving hours away), because he doesn't want us to struggle, but then I have my mother saying "Oh his (husband) interview didn't go well? Thank God!"- that was referring to an interview 3 hours away, I cannot imagine her reaction to a job in another province!

So it has been a tough pill to swallow lately.

My two cents:

I'd be so irritated with my mom if she did that. You don't need that negativity. You said it yourself: there is NOTHING for your employment-wise where you are right now. You need more that will help develop your careers. I think it is obvious that you guys have given this plenty of thought. It's time. You'll adjust. Everyone will adjust. And time spent together will be more precious.

This is coming from someone who moved from KC to central Illinois right after college. MH's and my families live in KC. We so look forward to the visits home, and their visits to see us.

I was infuriated when my mom said that. I spend the whole 2 hours he was in an interview just sobbing and hoping it went well. When I found out it didn't, I was crushed.

I think my main problem is I HAVE to get my parents blessing no matter what I do. I know I shouldn't but my parents opinion is everything to me, but right now I have to look at the bigger picture, and it's hard.

[icequeen]

My husband and I were in a similar situation in August 2013. I got a fellowship a thousand miles away from all of our family and friends and luckily his job was able to transfer him right away. I was pregnant at the time, but I am extremely close with my mom and have never been away from home. It was so incredibly hard for both of us and my mom still guilt trips me, especially now that I have DD. I know she misses me and DD terribly, but we do our best to Skype and have weekend visits. I know that what we decided was ultimately the best decision for our family and we have to stick by that. It will be ok, promise. Best of luck with the whole process, I know how hard it is!

[Deleted]

Feb 17, 2015 15:52:27 GMT -5 @erin2021 said:

Feb 17, 2015 15:47:49 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

My two cents:

I'd be so irritated with my mom if she did that. You don't need that negativity. You said it yourself: there is NOTHING for your employment-wise where you are right now. You need more that will help develop your careers. I think it is obvious that you guys have given this plenty of thought. It's time. You'll adjust. Everyone will adjust. And time spent together will be more precious.

This is coming from someone who moved from KC to central Illinois right after college. MH's and my families live in KC. We so look forward to the visits home, and their visits to see us.

I was infuriated when my mom said that. I spend the whole 2 hours he was in an interview just sobbing and hoping it went well. When I found out it didn't, I was crushed.

I think my main problem is I HAVE to get my parents blessing no matter what I do. I know I shouldn't but my parents opinion is everything to me, but right now I have to look at the bigger picture, and it's hard.

My parents do stuff like that. I don't ask for their approval about much. They just like to give their anyway. They constantly ask when we're moving back or coming to visit. My husband makes beer for a living, it's not an easy job to get. We've lived up north for 2 - 1/2 years and they have never come to visit.
I love my parents. They are just overly opinionated people.

[diamondsndaisies]

So I'm not the best example of this but I left for college and me ex-h got married, bought a house, had DD and separated. I moved back home during my divorce and made me realize how much I liked being home even though I used to hate the place. Nothing like being home but, at the same time you need to do what is best for your family.

[Lollipop]

I literally had zero choice about leaving my hometown. I was almost 9, and my dad got a job in AB, so we left NB. I was angry at my parents for a very long time. Looking back, they definitely made the right choice. My dad did apply for jobs closer to where we lived, but only the one worked out. I would never go back to live, as much as I love my family, there are no opportunities there, so obviously we're better off here.

Plus Smudge has grandparents and other close family here.

[LadyNymeria]

I no longer live in my hometown, but my current town is only about 20 minutes from where I grew up. 20 minutes the other direction is where MH grew up.

I like being really close to family and friends so I don't think I could handle moving far away. But we also try to get together every other week or so, so being far away would be strange for me.

[rufus426]

I moved away for college about 4 hours. I met my husband so we stayed. After about 4 years, we felt very isolated from our families and moved back to my home town. I have been so happy since coming back, just because of the level of support we have here. Some people don't need the support or can meet a great group of friends to support them. I mised my family. No regrets.

[joy]

Feb 17, 2015 15:52:27 GMT -5 @erin2021 said:

Feb 17, 2015 15:47:49 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

My two cents:

I'd be so irritated with my mom if she did that. You don't need that negativity. You said it yourself: there is NOTHING for your employment-wise where you are right now. You need more that will help develop your careers. I think it is obvious that you guys have given this plenty of thought. It's time. You'll adjust. Everyone will adjust. And time spent together will be more precious.

This is coming from someone who moved from KC to central Illinois right after college. MH's and my families live in KC. We so look forward to the visits home, and their visits to see us.

I was infuriated when my mom said that. I spend the whole 2 hours he was in an interview just sobbing and hoping it went well. When I found out it didn't, I was crushed.

I hink my main problem is I HAVE to get my parents blessing no matter what I do. I know I shouldn't but my parents opinion is everything to me, but right now I have to look at the bigger picture, and it's hard.

I was like this. To a certain extent, I still am like this. But, there have been decisions that I've had to make where they didn't like it and I *knew* in my bones that I picked right. That first time is hard, but it gets easier.

You need to make the right decision for you and not the right one for them.

[michelleca]

I moved about 10 hours from my hometown to go to university, and I met my husband here and never left. It sucks not having family around, and I wish I lived closer. My parents are going to be moving here in a few years to retire.

[cjchio]

We moved from OH to FL, and I don't regret it. I'd be lying if I said I don't get nostalgic for my hometown, especially at the holidays. I miss my family too. But iverall this move was better for us. I have a job I love, there are more teaching opportunities for my husband and there are things to do here.

We go back for the holidays and my family comes and visits us here. I feel like we spend more quality time together when we are together now than we did before.

[mrsgbmack]

I'm going to go with SS. I moved 10 hrs away about 10 years ago and don't regret it. However my husbands family is all about 10 min away. We're not overly close but not not close if that makes sense. Our son actually has an insanely better relationship with my parents than he does with the IL's. My parents are always face timing with him, send him occassional boxes while my IL's seem content to see him at holidays. Irks me but oh well.

[Ruca]

Feb 17, 2015 10:05:11 GMT -5 treble said:

SS: I left and came back. I have no regrets.

This.