It's just another Monday

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2017 8:27:24 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

Anyone need an escape to non-snow, come on over. Bonus, my house is already baby-proofed and we have ample coffee.

I wanna be where you are.

[sarahh]

2 pages already? I need to catch up. Dylan started feeling better yesterday. Her fever got up to 104.5 Friday night which was scary. We gave her a bath and after we got her dressed her lips turned blue and she was shaking. Cue freak out. We called the on call nurse who said to keep an eye on her. Her lips pinked back up so I guess it was the shower.

So I need some advice. Dylan is awful with the car seat. We put her in the car and she stiffens her legs and won't sit down. I feel like I've tried everything. I explain why she has to sit in her car seat (for safety), I ask her to please sit down, I bribe her with snacks/toys/etc. It always ends in me having to force her to sit so I can get her arms in which leads to her crying. I feel like there are other instances of this outside of the car seat (getting a diaper change, listening to me in general, etc). I don't want to spank her, but should I be starting time out? I want to be her friend but am I being to easy on her? Help!

[wells2010]

sarahh you can start time outs around 18 months... 1 min per year of age. The problem I'd have with punishments for fighting the car seat is that I'm usually rushing out of the house and this would be one more thing causing me to be late!

You could try talking up wherever you're going before you leave. For example, say in a really happy and excited voice that you're going to the grocery store! We can pick out a nice orange to eat later! Watch the lobsters! Whatever she likes. It won't get better overnight.

This age is just so tough. You just can't reason with them!

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2017 8:31:57 GMT -5 sarahh said:

2 pages already? I need to catch up. Dylan started feeling better yesterday. Her fever got up to 104.5 Friday night which was scary. We gave her a bath and after we got her dressed her lips turned blue and she was shaking. Cue freak out. We called the on call nurse who said to keep an eye on her. Her lips pinked back up so I guess it was the shower.

So I need some advice. Dylan is awful with the car seat. We put her in the car and she stiffens her legs and won't sit down. I feel like I've tried everything. I explain why she has to sit in her car seat (for safety), I ask her to please sit down, I bribe her with snacks/toys/etc. It always ends in me having to force her to sit so I can get her arms in which leads to her crying. I feel like there are other instances of this outside of the car seat (getting a diaper change, listening to me in general, etc). I don't want to spank her, but should I be starting time out? I want to be her friend but am I being to easy on her? Help!

I would tell her what you're going to do, give her a minute or two or whatever you can spare to cooperate - whether climb in, or help you with her arms, etc. - and if not say that you need to help her be safe in the car.

When she cries, you can say I hear you're angry. You don't want to be in your car seat. You won't be angry forever. We will get out of your car seat once we get to X. I love you even when your angry. (Some version of the sportscasting, reassuring both that the negative mood won't last forever and that I love her seems to work most of the time.)

www.janetlansbury.com/2012/01/car-seat-tantrums-handled-with-respect/

The biggest thing is, as tempting as it can be for me personally, I don't see spanking as a solution. Of course I want her to listen - I really want her to listen!! - but she's her own person and sometimes she has feelings she needs to come out. Rather than spanking her, which I think would be counterproductive, or putting her in time out, which might tell her that her feelings are scary and I can't handle them, I try to be the gentle but firm leader who sets and enforces boundaries and doesn't get flustered with tantrums.

[sarahh]

wells2010 that's a good idea to talk about it beforehand. I'll have to try that the next time we go somewhere.

[kristhegirl]

sarahh maybe some time when you don't have anywhere to be, let her explore the car. Ask her if she can get in her seat on her own. Just let her have some time in there, even though it's super boring for you.

When you need to get her in the car seat, tell her. Don't ask, don't bribe, just tell her, "I'm putting you in your car seat." She will fight this; be unmoved. You can give her a warning, like "we're going to the store. I will put you in your car seat." Or whatever. As hard as it is, embrace the boundary-pushing, but hold the boundary. There is no option, she has to be buckled.

If she's able, and you have time, you could try something like, "it's time to get in your car seat. Would you like to climb in, or would you like me to put you in?" This might come later, though. Elena can't get in yet on her own.

[rachydc]

sarahh, We had a similar phase. Yes, PHASE. Anyway, I believe it was kristhegirl that suggested to me narrating what you will be doing (like she did above in this thread). At first, I laughed and was like "OMG, my monster will NEVER listen/understand!" but she did!! I start really early on, like on our way out the door I tell her our plan. I started doing this for a lot of our daily routine (eating, brushing teeth, shoes, etc...) and it's helped so much! That's not to say sometimes it doesn't work. She still has her moments, but overall it's a great tool. It will take time, but stick with it, she'll catch on

[Deleted]

cornpop311 Give her some time, and don't force it. I think it's normal. Toddlers are just very strange little beings.

[rachydc]

cornpop311, You didnt break her and dont take it personal (easier said than done, I know)!! She just needs to get back into the swing of things.

[lovemyirishtwins]

cornpop311 V did not want me for several days when I came home from the hospital last fall. She came up to visit me and wanted nothing to do with me then either. I would agree with the others let her have time and do not force her. She will warm up quickly.

[jacks15]

Mar 13, 2017 7:39:07 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

Mar 13, 2017 7:31:30 GMT -5 jacks15 said:

Oh I just remembered that Trump is holding a rally next to my work on Wednesday.

Go undercover as a Trump supporter then report back!

Sure! But can I use your contact info to register for tickets?

[kristhegirl]

cornpop311 normal! Take a deep breath and let her work out her feelings. You are still mama, with whom she feels comfortable letting it all out. She'll work through it.

rachydc that's awesome that the the sportscasting is helping A!

[Deleted]

Cranky toddler here. I finally fell asleep around 2 and was up at 7. Pass the coffee please.

It's snowing. I think we're supposed to get a total of 10" through tomorrow, but we must have at least 6 already so I'm sure we'll pass that estimate. I should go out and shovel for a bit before it gets too heavy.

[sarahh]

@officedronette, I'm with you - I really don't want to spank. My parents spanked me and I just want to try it a different way with Dylan. I will definitely try talking to her about it when she cries. Usually I'm just so frustrated by that point that I'm silent.

kristhegirl, I will definitely try letting her explore the car. One of the issues is there is rear entertainment and when she is standing in her car seat, she always tries to play with the buttons. I wish there was a way to cover them so she doesn't know what she's missing being RF.

rachydc, I pray that this phase ends soon. It sucks. I'm with you, I don't feel like any reasoning or explaining will work but I will definitely try it and maybe I will have your success with it!

[kristhegirl]

sarahh can you let her play with the buttons when the car's off so they don't do anything? Elena loves buttons but quickly loses interest if they don't perform for her in any way.

[rachydc]

Mar 13, 2017 9:06:04 GMT -5 cornpop311 said:

She seems better now that we're home and not at my ILs.

It was seriously the worst thing ever though. And my MIL did not help, she picked her up and like took her away from me.

That seals the deal though, we are not going to San Fran/Napa in the fall.

Soooooooooooooo, baby making time???  

[Deleted]

We did our new bedtime routine last night-for the most part since I had to wash the pool water out of her hair and style it. Daddy put her in the crib and opted to pat her back until she fell asleep. Her amazon music playlist seemed to work, she slept all night!
My life will change bigly if she can put herself to sleep

[ashiscute]

sarahh this is a very normal phase. The important thing to remember is it is okay for her to cry! This isn't a newborn crying to get a need met. Just keep your voice as matter of fact as you can and keep your sentences simple. I always offer toys after they're strapped in but not until then.

[swarley]

sarahh this is completely a phase- it's not bad behavior. We're going through this now and unfortunately Z has decided to do this during the winter months when I have to stand outside and put him and and take him out and put him in and I get exasperated. A did this during the summer so I didn't mind as much. I just try to distract with a toy or a little snack. This phase is the worst- once I had to wait over 10 minutes- it truly is a game to them and their brains at this age really don't process the concept of safety or time management.

[kristhegirl]

Elena is quietly watching Daniel Tiger while I feed Max. Y'all, this is huge. She normally just cries and cries if I have to take care of Max. She's also not usually interested in TV. Daniel Tiger is magic.

[italianmommy]

Why is it that the only time my child plays quietly alone is when she's working on a poop?

[yl]

Meanwhile, in CA, it's supposed to be 84* today.

Yesterday we went to this local Babychella event (like Coachella, but for babies. And some of these OC moms were wearing the same outfit they probably wore to Coachella 2012. And so many babies in flower crowns. My god.) and it was SO HOT. MH and I were sweating and R was crying because of funky nap schedule and it should have been fun but all 3 of us were miserable. We had been looking forward to this for weeks, but had to leave because we were all so grumpy.

[CoachTsWife]

It snowed here all day Saturday but didn't amount to much because it has been so warm here. So far our February was like April, but our March is like February. Our trees are budding and a couple daffodils have bloomed...but now it is below freezing.

Today my company's new campus opened so I'm working in a shiny new building. We can raise our desks and stand while we work - I've been standing for about an hour now and my feet hurt. lol My wimpy feet will get used to it, I'm sure. It is much better than sitting all day!

[queenofcats]

I'm in the bathroom and she escaped me because she can reach the doorknob and she's going through the spice cabinet and bringing me spices to kiss. At least they are pretty contained.

[jacks15]

jnetx rugsusa.com or wayfair or maybe World Market
We also got a ton of coupons in the mail after we bought our house. Nothing crazy, but I'll take that 10% off thankyouverymuch.

[lonegalathome]

cornpop311 grandma's can be super fun and special - I wouldn't worry.
and I see rachydc beat me to it - baby making time??

Getting caught up at work this morning and then going to work on a grocery list for our trip this weekend. It's not going to be as warm as I hoped, but excited to get out of town!

[Deleted]

I am watching/listening to Entourage at my desk, the California setting is making me feel warm inside, because it's like 12 degrees outside.

[kasiaskis]

sarahh others have offered lots of good advice but I wanted to let you know that we are going through this phase right now too.

Car seats are a non-negotiable, so if E doesn't sit down when I ask her to, I say "I'm going to hold you down so I can buckle the seat" and do just that. She cries, sometimes for a few minutes. I'll say "you didn't want to sit in the car seat right now, but you have to" and leave it at that.

This morning she started to struggle, and I told her I was going to buckle the seat and she immediately relaxed and sat quietly. Maybe it was a fluke, or maybe she is learning that this is a limit that she can't push. Hopefully it's the latter.

[elenetxu]

When do we get to pee alone again?




Also, any tricks for a baby who has figured out how to get his arms out of a very snug carseat strap? I have the Cybex Sirona and am about to scrap it for another seat because I about had a heart attack the other day when I got him out and saw one arm was free. Not cool, dude.

[Deleted]

elenetxu when they go off to college, probably. At least that is how it feels for me currently.