Update to PTC
Mar 16, 2017 6:48:06 GMT -5
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 16, 2017 6:48:06 GMT -5
Sorry this was another TL;DR so I am doing another thread. I really appreciate you guys weighing in. And I appreciate you putting up with this brain dump. My mind keeps churning on this so it helps to write it down.
Update: We had our PTC. First, she said if we want him to do kinder he can. But she thinks if he repeats 2nd level then he will be a strong K, vs a struggling one.
She thinks he has the emotional maturity of a 4 or early 5 year old when he should have the maturity of a 5.5 year old based on the way she observes him interacting with his classmates - his interests, the way he communicates. That's why she thinks his core friends are younger. However, she agreed with me that whatever is going on with his maturity, he does not have problems standing in line, throwing fits etc. He's very chill. If he gets mad, he withdraws and pouts. He's a quiet kid.
She says he's behind where he needs to be on letters and numbers both b/c he won't choose the work and because when he chooses the work it takes him longer to do (particularly on numbers) and he has trouble learning and reaching mastery relative to what she normally sees (she's been teaching 32 years...which is shocking to me b/c she looks 45 at the oldest). The memorization component of learning letters and working with numbers is very hard for him. (I have witnessed this as we worked on trying to get him to learn his numbers at home, which we did with flashcards)
His motor skills related to writing are advanced. Just, you know, he doesn't know his damn ABC's.
I brought up would he do better in a more parochial setting and she kind of responded with - I'm not sure but I like montessori best in general because it makes kids more thoughtful, curious blah blah.
She says if we hold him back we'll explain it to him like, he's going to stay working with his best friend F.
To help him catch up, we asked her to eliminate his art (and she suggested limiting instead of eliminating, which is fine). And to guide him to numbers and letters more and to focus on getting him caught up while we decide what to do.
Oh on the issue of him being a December birthday, she said she has discussed it with the administator there and they are fine with it even thought they recognized is as an issue also. She has no idea what the issues will be when we try to go to kinder in a different school. I'm guessing it will be an issue if we don't have a documented delay, but I don't know yet.
For me, I am thinking right now (cause I've been thinking about it all night) that unless he has some other delay (and I'm thinking we will not find one, at least not right now at his age) then he needs to do kinder SOMEWHERE. My fear, which we didn't discuss but I'm going to follow up, is that holding him back given that he's a Dec b-day will disadvantage him in the long run.
I'm still considering whether he needs to do it at his current school or public or possibly a private school where the class will be smaller. I'm concerned about him having problems in public school b/c of his maturity and b/c he can be quiet.
Long Anecdote: Our neighborhood is very suburban, upper class, monogram everything you own type neighborhood.
It makes me kind of twitchy but the people are overall nice.
Anyway, the neighborhood kids all got together on a very large playdate for almost all the kids his age so they could get to know each other (this is the kind of place we live in, and that is a really nice idea).
But, he did terribly. Several of the kids new each other and kind of cliqued up. He wouldn't approach them. I found him sitting under the slide crying b/c "no one was playing with him". He was too afraid to go on the slide (heights) and too afraid to join the boys who were running around on the field. To be clear, they were not mean to him, but they didn't reach out to them (they were 4-5, I'm sure it didn't occur to them to do it) and he would not take it upon himself to speak to them even when I encouraged him to do so. I got him talking to a little girl that lives on our street and he kind of hung out with her. So. That is coloring all of this for me also.
FTR they had another playdate later in the summer, only a couple other kids came, and he did well and had fun.
I really am afraid he won't do well in public school where there's multiple classes that combine at recess and he gets swallowed up socially and maybe flies under the radar of teachers b/c he's quiet not hyper or outgoing.
Also, we have playdates with a 5 year old at his school periodically. That kid is a fantastic kid and I think pretty advanced for his age. He and my son get along well although they aren't on the same level in a lot of respects. But apparently unless us moms get them together, they aren't necessarily playing together at school.
If we do the private route, I would want to do it through 8th grade at least. Talk about money though. Also if he has a learning disability...I have no idea how that would work in private school. Also, there are a couple smaller, less prestigious private schools I feel like we could go to without a huge problem (although I don't really know). But a lot of the private schools have teacher evaluations (from current teachers...not feeling enthusiastic about that) and testing. Although I guess our evaluation will tell us how he will do on those.
If we do public...I'm going to be a nervous wreck while we see how it goes. If it doesn't go well I can always pull him....I guess.
If we stay at his current school, I won't be worried about him doing poorly socially but I will be worried he won't actually catch up academically. I'm afraid this learning style isn't for him and also I'm a bit afraid that his teacher has made up his mind about him. Although she is a very kind person who is actually generally known in the school for having high standards relative to the other teacher who teaches the 3-6 class (up to now I've always liked her and DS seems to like her too).
So.
Update: We had our PTC. First, she said if we want him to do kinder he can. But she thinks if he repeats 2nd level then he will be a strong K, vs a struggling one.
She thinks he has the emotional maturity of a 4 or early 5 year old when he should have the maturity of a 5.5 year old based on the way she observes him interacting with his classmates - his interests, the way he communicates. That's why she thinks his core friends are younger. However, she agreed with me that whatever is going on with his maturity, he does not have problems standing in line, throwing fits etc. He's very chill. If he gets mad, he withdraws and pouts. He's a quiet kid.
She says he's behind where he needs to be on letters and numbers both b/c he won't choose the work and because when he chooses the work it takes him longer to do (particularly on numbers) and he has trouble learning and reaching mastery relative to what she normally sees (she's been teaching 32 years...which is shocking to me b/c she looks 45 at the oldest). The memorization component of learning letters and working with numbers is very hard for him. (I have witnessed this as we worked on trying to get him to learn his numbers at home, which we did with flashcards)
His motor skills related to writing are advanced. Just, you know, he doesn't know his damn ABC's.
I brought up would he do better in a more parochial setting and she kind of responded with - I'm not sure but I like montessori best in general because it makes kids more thoughtful, curious blah blah.
She says if we hold him back we'll explain it to him like, he's going to stay working with his best friend F.
To help him catch up, we asked her to eliminate his art (and she suggested limiting instead of eliminating, which is fine). And to guide him to numbers and letters more and to focus on getting him caught up while we decide what to do.
Oh on the issue of him being a December birthday, she said she has discussed it with the administator there and they are fine with it even thought they recognized is as an issue also. She has no idea what the issues will be when we try to go to kinder in a different school. I'm guessing it will be an issue if we don't have a documented delay, but I don't know yet.
For me, I am thinking right now (cause I've been thinking about it all night) that unless he has some other delay (and I'm thinking we will not find one, at least not right now at his age) then he needs to do kinder SOMEWHERE. My fear, which we didn't discuss but I'm going to follow up, is that holding him back given that he's a Dec b-day will disadvantage him in the long run.
I'm still considering whether he needs to do it at his current school or public or possibly a private school where the class will be smaller. I'm concerned about him having problems in public school b/c of his maturity and b/c he can be quiet.
Long Anecdote: Our neighborhood is very suburban, upper class, monogram everything you own type neighborhood.
It makes me kind of twitchy but the people are overall nice.
Anyway, the neighborhood kids all got together on a very large playdate for almost all the kids his age so they could get to know each other (this is the kind of place we live in, and that is a really nice idea).
But, he did terribly. Several of the kids new each other and kind of cliqued up. He wouldn't approach them. I found him sitting under the slide crying b/c "no one was playing with him". He was too afraid to go on the slide (heights) and too afraid to join the boys who were running around on the field. To be clear, they were not mean to him, but they didn't reach out to them (they were 4-5, I'm sure it didn't occur to them to do it) and he would not take it upon himself to speak to them even when I encouraged him to do so. I got him talking to a little girl that lives on our street and he kind of hung out with her. So. That is coloring all of this for me also.
FTR they had another playdate later in the summer, only a couple other kids came, and he did well and had fun.
I really am afraid he won't do well in public school where there's multiple classes that combine at recess and he gets swallowed up socially and maybe flies under the radar of teachers b/c he's quiet not hyper or outgoing.
Also, we have playdates with a 5 year old at his school periodically. That kid is a fantastic kid and I think pretty advanced for his age. He and my son get along well although they aren't on the same level in a lot of respects. But apparently unless us moms get them together, they aren't necessarily playing together at school.
If we do the private route, I would want to do it through 8th grade at least. Talk about money though. Also if he has a learning disability...I have no idea how that would work in private school. Also, there are a couple smaller, less prestigious private schools I feel like we could go to without a huge problem (although I don't really know). But a lot of the private schools have teacher evaluations (from current teachers...not feeling enthusiastic about that) and testing. Although I guess our evaluation will tell us how he will do on those.
If we do public...I'm going to be a nervous wreck while we see how it goes. If it doesn't go well I can always pull him....I guess.
If we stay at his current school, I won't be worried about him doing poorly socially but I will be worried he won't actually catch up academically. I'm afraid this learning style isn't for him and also I'm a bit afraid that his teacher has made up his mind about him. Although she is a very kind person who is actually generally known in the school for having high standards relative to the other teacher who teaches the 3-6 class (up to now I've always liked her and DS seems to like her too).
So.