Have you used a Doula?

[greenball]

I wasn't planning on it but as I research childbirth classes, all the reviews seem to rave about them. 
It seems a bit excessive/expensive, but if it's worth it? 
My husband is ultra supportive and I know he'll be amazing in the delivery room, but he's a rookie, lol. My OB is also amazing and she should be present at the birth (not entire labor, but birth)(she opened up a private practive this past year and made a commitment to be at her clients births for the first year, so unless she's sick, she should be there) 

I'm also contemplating saving that $ for having a doula at the birth and just hiring one for coming to my home every week/other week or so for the first month or two to just help me figure out what I'm doing/be a support system (and one service even said "we'll let mom take  break and nap or shower!) 

ETA: I'm not a "I have to have this kind of birth plan" kind of person, etc. I just wonder: is it worth spending $1k on this?? That's alot of $ (we COULD technically make it work but I'd prefer to spend that on other needs!) 

Those that have had/have doulas, do you recommend them? 

[ThankfulSnail]

Take my opinion for what it is, because my doula is free through a volunteer program at my hospital, but I absolutely think it is worth it.

First I want to address that while your OB will probably check on you a few times and be there when you actually deliver the baby, don't count on her being there for the duration of your labor/birth. I've never heard of one being present the duration, and if that's a major source of the support you're looking for during your birth, you'll want another person there.

I don't know what kind of birth you want, but I am hoping to have a birth without an epidural this time for a bunch of reasons, and I know I will need help achieving that. MH was so supportive last time and I felt very loved by him, but he doesn't know the first thing about what will help me during childbirth. My hopes for my doula are that she'll help suggest techniques to keep me from losing control of myself during labor, to keep myself present and get through the contractions.

Even with my first birth, where I had an epidural, I could have used another pair of hands there just so there was someone to get me more ice chips AND refresh the cool cloth on my forehead between contractions, not one or the other. I had 2 great nurses in the room with me (one was a student) and while they were helpful, another person there, trained in helping moms through labor, would have made the experience much better.

[LadyNymeria]

I did not have one and no not regret not having one.

During labor it was usually just me, MH, and my nurse. Dr came and went to check on me, then was there for the delivery.

I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.

[marshian]

We have a doula as part of our "birth team". It will be me, H, and doula, plus whatever nurses are there. Midwife on call is in and out and not really there until actual birth.

Our reasons for wanting a doula are:
1. I am aiming for a no- or low-intervention birth. Doulas have been shown to increase your odds of going natural and avoiding a c-section.
2. This is our first rodeo and I need someone who can provide a "toolbox" of things to try during labor for pain management, bringing baby down, etc.
3. H really wanted one because he's in the medical field and needs someone to ground him and keep his focus on me and the process.

[teraiin]

Take this with a grain of salt.

I did not have one and sort of wish I did. My husband did the best he could to coach me through but was not very helpful or comforting and that was hard on us both.

Now I ended up with an emergency c-section because my son's head got stuck so ultimately a doula probably wouldn't have chnagced the outcome, but maybe would have made the long labor a bit easier. Idk

[Deleted]

If the money is the only thing holding you back, look at doula schools in the area. If there are any local to toy they probably have a program for free or nearly free for students. At least they did in my area.

[amandamh2]

For me, a doula would have been a waste because when I'm doing hard things or in pain I like to be left alone and this was true when I was in labor as well.
I wound up laboring mostly alone with my midwives checking on me occasionally and I only really wanted DH at the end when I was pushing. I didn't want to talk to anyone or have people help me with pain, I prefer to focus inwardly. DH and my midwives mostly communicated with each other since they all knew what I was hoping for in regards to interventions, etc. and only included me in conversations if necessary. I had a med-free, no intervention birth aside from stitches for tearing.

How do you typically handle pain/stress? Do you know how your DH does? If your styles are different and you're a person who prefers more hands on support, it may be helpful for you to find a doula who meshes with your coping style.

[ourcrazynavylife]

We did not have a doula with my first. I didn't even really know about it. But, we are absolutely getting one this time around.

My DH is useless during labor/ in the delivery room. So I needed somebody there for me.

Like other people have mentioned don't plan on your OB being in there all the time unless you're like magically the only patient having a baby that day.

I love my doula and I'm so excited for her to be there at my son's birth. I absolutely think she's worth it.

But it all really depends on what you're looking for in your birth. Low intervention vs. high intervention.

[mrsjene]

I had a postpartum overnight doula to get through the first week. It is one of the best things I have ever paid for. Nothing prepared me for the level of exhaustion and lack of sleep that first week, plus you're dealing with crazy hormones and your own healing. Having a doula help during the overnights that first week was good for my own wellbeing. I also learned a lot from her during that week like creating a good sleep environment, some breastfeeding tricks, etc.

[greenball]

Thanks all.

I'm leaning towards no doula in birth. H really wants to do a birthing coach course and I have no doubts he'll be a rock in the delivery room and be what I need in time of crazy insane-ness. We're going to save that $ and I want to look into a doula for the first week or month instead, I think that will be more valuable for what I need.

[greenball]

Mar 16, 2017 19:09:45 GMT -5 amandamh2 said:

For me, a doula would have been a waste because when I'm doing hard things or in pain I like to be left alone and this was true when I was in labor as well.
I wound up laboring mostly alone with my midwives checking on me occasionally and I only really wanted DH at the end when I was pushing. I didn't want to talk to anyone or have people help me with pain, I prefer to focus inwardly. DH and my midwives mostly communicated with each other since they all knew what I was hoping for in regards to interventions, etc. and only included me in conversations if necessary. I had a med-free, no intervention birth aside from stitches for tearing.

How do you typically handle pain/stress? Do you know how your DH does? If your styles are different and you're a person who prefers more hands on support, it may be helpful for you to find a doula who meshes with your coping style.

I stress and H is always the calm voice of reason and is a fantastic compassionate caretaker. We're a great match in times of stress, so I'm leaning towards not hiring a doula for birth, rather for the first few weeks when I have no idea what I've gotten myself into lol

[icedtea]

We're having a doula. H and I both get pretty freaked out, and she's there to keep us grounded. I also want someone to support him while he's supporting me. We met with several, and the prices varied widely (we ended up with one that was $600).

She also gives a lot of breastfeeding support, which was important to me.

[cateyes]

Mar 17, 2017 12:32:28 GMT -5 greenball said:

Thanks all.

I'm leaning towards no doula in birth. H really wants to do a birthing coach course and I have no doubts he'll be a rock in the delivery room and be what I need in time of crazy insane-ness. We're going to save that $ and I want to look into a doula for the first week or month instead, I think that will be more valuable for what I need.

Check out the Bradley method birth class. We have learned so much and H feels super educated and empowered to do amazing things and be a great support/coach. Even if you choose not to go med free, the knowledge is so powerful!!!!

[hangry]

I didn't have a birth doula and wouldn't have wanted one a)based on how I deal with pain; inwardly, as pp mentioned and b) my labours were very fast.

I did have a pp doula after my first and since you're considering that I'll give you my experience.

We met with her before the birth to discuss what our concerns, questions, and goals (by priority) were. She broke down her practice by areas needing help with. This was 3 years ago, so from what I can remember, the areas included breast feeding, newborn care (like changing diapers and giving baths), moral/emotional support, housekeeping, and caring for children so you could nap/shower/ cook / go for a walk.

My doula had a minimum commitment, so like 10 total visits. I had her 3x/wk for 2 weeks, then 2x/wk for 2 more. We mostly just sat around and talked about babies. I usually showered while she was there. I took her on my first few errands so I could figure that out.

Given that I didn't have family around, it was totally worth it to have the support. Even just the socialization. If I were to do it again, I would have a more specific goal for each visit. You could get ideas from the doula.
Also, my doula was an apprentice, so cheaper rates.

[onesweetworld]

Mar 17, 2017 12:32:28 GMT -5 greenball said:

Thanks all.

I'm leaning towards no doula in birth. H really wants to do a birthing coach course and I have no doubts he'll be a rock in the delivery room and be what I need in time of crazy insane-ness. We're going to save that $ and I want to look into a doula for the first week or month instead, I think that will be more valuable for what I need.

I posted this in the other thread but I highly recommend The Birth Partner for your H.

[greenball]

Mar 18, 2017 20:11:07 GMT -5 onesweetworld said:

Mar 17, 2017 12:32:28 GMT -5 greenball said:

Thanks all.

I'm leaning towards no doula in birth. H really wants to do a birthing coach course and I have no doubts he'll be a rock in the delivery room and be what I need in time of crazy insane-ness. We're going to save that $ and I want to look into a doula for the first week or month instead, I think that will be more valuable for what I need.

I posted this in the other thread but I highly recommend The Birth Partner for your H.

Awesome! I'll check it out !

[mikaela20]

I had a doula that cost me $1200. I regret it and wish I used that money on something else like newborn photos or a chase for the nursey.

I had a c-section and she really didn't provide enough support where it would have been noticeable had she not been there. The doctors and nurses at my hospital were amazing though which I think makes a big difference.

I mainly wanted one to help with initial breastfeeding support. But the hospital had LC' s that came bedside to offer help and many nurses also has some kind of breastfeeding certification.

I was really pro doula before my experience and now, I would recommend saving the money. Even for some postpartum support- but I would do a la cart hours instead of buying a package of hours incase you don't find it helpful.

[juliayadda]

My husband admitted that he will be useless and probably not emotionally strong enough to get me through on his own. So we went ahead and hired a doula. She is about a year of experience so we are paying 500 for her.

If my DH was more confident I would have signed us up for child birth class and went with that.

[emilie]

I interviewed some doulas when I was pregnant and decided against using one. My main reason was that when I asked them what would happen if I had a c-section or didn't end up needing them, I would still have to pay at least half of their fee. As it turns out, my kid was breech and a scheduled C-section. I'm really glad I didn't throw down hundreds of dollars to have a doula come to the hospital for a scheduled C. That said, I know lots of people who loved using a doula, and obviously my case was an exception to the norm.

[juliayadda]

Mar 22, 2017 15:35:15 GMT -5 emilie said:

I interviewed some doulas when I was pregnant and decided against using one. My main reason was that when I asked them what would happen if I had a c-section or didn't end up needing them, I would still have to pay at least half of their fee. As it turns out, my kid was breech and a scheduled C-section. I'm really glad I didn't throw down hundreds of dollars to have a doula come to the hospital for a scheduled C. That said, I know lots of people who loved using a doula, and obviously my case was an exception to the norm.

My doula will come right in the operating room . My DH has admitted he cannot handle it.

[agm04]

Mar 22, 2017 15:35:15 GMT -5 emilie said:

I interviewed some doulas when I was pregnant and decided against using one. My main reason was that when I asked them what would happen if I had a c-section or didn't end up needing them, I would still have to pay at least half of their fee. As it turns out, my kid was breech and a scheduled C-section. I'm really glad I didn't throw down hundreds of dollars to have a doula come to the hospital for a scheduled C. That said, I know lots of people who loved using a doula, and obviously my case was an exception to the norm.

I totally get this and it's valid - I had the exact same concerns.  Just to offer a different perspective, my daughter was also breech, and I am so glad that we had our doula.  We ended up with a vaginal delivery, and she was with us in the operating room (had to push there bc of breech positioning) - there is no way I could have done it without her.  She was so valuable in helping me explore my options in the weeks leading up to my daughter's birth - options for trying to get DD to turn, options for delivering if she didn't.  Never pushed me one way or another, just provided support and recommendations for different professionals to help me in whatever scenario we chose.  We would have been so lost without her, despite 12 weeks of Bradley classes.  After DD was born, she helped us BF (actually hand expressed for me and fed DD from her finger in the OR while I was getting stitched up and holding DD and she wouldn't latch - wouldn't have been as comfortable with a LC I didn't know doing that), helped advocate for me during labor, got me food.  I could go on and on.  Perhaps the most important thing she did for me was help me make peace with the idea of a c-section if that's where we ended up.  

I do think that the person you choose makes all the difference.  Our doula specializes in hospital births, and is very well respected by local nurses and doctors - doesn't get in the way, doesn't push parents to make the crunchy decision or go against recommendations - and has a huge network of local professionals.  Like I got all kinds of appointments I never would have been able to get without her.  She's a true support person with no ulterior motives.  I don't know that that's always the case (though it should be!).