TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
Post by pearlvirus on Mar 23, 2017 19:09:32 GMT -5
Went to my annual woman checkup this morning and the DR was joking about how it's not a good idea to keep having kids to get the opposite sex of what you have because the probability that you keep having the same gets higher each time. She referenced some chart, so I went looking.... turns out it's true, but barely. I have two girls and the chance that I would have a third girl is higher than before I had any babies, but it's not that far off 50/50 still....
Went to my annual woman checkup this morning and the DR was joking about how it's not a good idea to keep having kids to get the opposite sex of what you have because the probability that you keep having the same gets higher each time. She referenced some chart, so I went looking.... turns out it's true, but barely. I have two girls and the chance that I would have a third girl is higher than before I had any babies, but it's not that far off 50/50 still....
Post by flutterfly88 on Mar 24, 2017 0:19:40 GMT -5
We've had 2 boys so far. I'm hoping for a girl when the time comes, DH's family is full of boys, so they liked to joke that it was impossible for them to have girls. BIL and his wife are expecting twin girls, so they can't say that anymore!
@flutterfly this sounds just like my best friend. Her husband's family said: we only make boys. Then last December she gave birth to (identical!) twin girls!! Ha ha, too bad her SIL just had another boy....
I'm not 100% sure I would want a boy, even if I could pick. I know how to do girls. I have all the stuff. Statistically boys are more stressful... but it kinda depends on spacing too. I love that my 2 are both girls since they are 19m apart, but #2 will probably be closer to 2.5 when #3 is born, on our current plan, maybe older. So maybe a boy would feel less left out of my older twos closeness?
Post by yummeecookee on Mar 24, 2017 10:00:32 GMT -5
That's interesting what your doctor said @pearlvrius. We have one of each. I really always wanted a daughter so I am glad I had her first. At the time I wasn't sure if I was OAD or not. Once I got KU again, I honestly didn't care what sex it was, I loved the idea of another girl so my DD would have a bff for life. But I also knew mh wanted a son, so I wanted him to have that experience.
I have to say, I'm way too excited about having another girl. I have been going through DD's old clothes and they are so stinking cute. We also needed another girl so DD wouldn't be rotten. That girl has her dad wrapped around her finger.
Post by flutterfly88 on Mar 24, 2017 15:59:04 GMT -5
I'm loving and amazed at parts of this toddler stage! I was getting B ready to go out and play and explaining to him all that needed to happen before we could go out (I needed to grab the garbage, and get my shoes on) while I'm getting the garbage he goes to the door and grand my shoe!
... Then he had a melt down b/c I wouldn't pick him up while getting my socks on, that part, I'm not loving so much 😉
Post by littleredfish on Mar 24, 2017 19:15:15 GMT -5
I joke that I was meant to have DS because I was 100% positive I was having boys when I was pregnant with the girls, then he slipped in under the wire just before DH could get snipped. I'm interested to see their dynamic as they grow since 1 and 2 share a room and have had this one on one time together, but 2 and DS are only 15 months apart so everybody tells me they will be so close and people will probably think they are twins once they are even older.
Everybody asked what I was hoping for and I really didn't care. I felt like a boy would be an interesting addition to our dynamic, and a fun new kind of bonding experience for both DH and I. Another girl would have been so practical since I have girl clothes and stuff by the bin full, and we already "know" girls. I still feel like I'm figuring out how to care for a penis.
3 girls would have been so precious, but the love I have for this boy is slightly different than the relationship I have with my girls. I had heard moms of boys say that, but I never got it until I had one. I'm so glad I have both but obviously wouldn't know the difference or care if it had gone the other way. I hope I can refrain from being the psycho MIL one day because some days I look at him and think "nobody will ever be good enough for you" where as with my girls they are so powerful in their personalities I think "Bless the partners who will one day challenge you". Maybe it's also because I know he is my last.
Post by yummeecookee on Mar 24, 2017 21:41:15 GMT -5
littleredfish, my MIL has provided a pretty good example of the type of MIL I don't want to be. Don't get me wrong, she is great w my littles and loves them to pieces. She is just too much though and often oversteps the bounds as if she is actually their mother. It's really irritating. I vow to give my future DIL space and acknowledge when it is HER turn to be the mommy and I will step back.
Post by littleredfish on Mar 24, 2017 21:49:02 GMT -5
yummeecookee, my MIL likes to overstep too but in the I'm going to enjoy being the grandmother by getting the kids obnoxious toys, giving them tons of candy, and ignoring general parenting rules kind of way.
Example, the time she bought DD1 a bouncy castle big enough for 4 children "for the basement". Or the other day she brought each kid a big bag of marshmallows or yesterday when she brought a garbage bag full of bouncy balls the size of DD2s head. Where TF did she think I was supposed to put those? Answer turned out to be, in the garbage when my border collie lost his shit over all of the balls and popped them one by one.
Toys grandparents buy stay at THIER houses. Keeps them in check a little with how much they buy and makes it more fun for the kids when we visit!
This isn't exactly practical when there are 4+ other grandkids and we only see our family every couple months or more. What works for you might not work for everyone else.
Toys grandparents buy stay at THIER houses. Keeps them in check a little with how much they buy and makes it more fun for the kids when we visit!
This isn't exactly practical when there are 4+ other grandkids and we only see our family every couple months or more. What works for you might not work for everyone else.
This is us. The grandparents live in Alaska, 8 hours away, and 16 hours away. What they buy stays here.
My MIL is the actual crazy kind. She got pissed at me when I told her not to give DD a water bottle she had been using to massage her foot on. So gross and all she had to say was, "well, my sock is clean." I don't care that is still gross!!!! She also visited right after a double wrist surgery and wondered why I wouldn't leave her alone with DD. Umm, last week you weren't suppose to pick anything up and this week you expect me to let you pick up my 28lb child. I don't think so. She was told she couldn't come by one day when she was visiting (even though she was invited to the zoo with everyone earlier that day and refused to come) because it was way past bedtime and she ended up telling me to F off. She didn't visit for almost 18 months after that and basically had no contact with any of us. You can't act like a psycho and then pretend everything is peachy.
There are so many more things she acts crazy over. Another is what I bathe the kids with. She told me I should never use Johnson and Johnson. So of course anytime she visits it is sitting out on the counter for her to stare at.
She spent 3 hours lecturing me about vaccines. I was like, "I have no clue what they plan to give her today but she is getting whatever they offer." She wasn't pleased, lol!
She lectured me over delayed cord clamping. Even flooded me with what she calls research articles. I don't like delayed cord clamping and my kids are always born in distress (so far at least) so it has never been an option. I would decline anything more than 30 seconds. She wanted me to do 2 hours....what??!! That is ridiculous.
Sorry, her crazy goes deep so I just needed to share!
Toys grandparents buy stay at THIER houses. Keeps them in check a little with how much they buy and makes it more fun for the kids when we visit!
This isn't exactly practical when there are 4+ other grandkids and we only see our family every couple months or more. What works for you might not work for everyone else.
It's just what we do, obviously not workable for everyone. Not sure why you took it that way.
This isn't exactly practical when there are 4+ other grandkids and we only see our family every couple months or more. What works for you might not work for everyone else.
It's just what we do, obviously not workable for everyone. Not sure why you took it that way.
Because you are known to be very opinionated. And when you word it like you did, you made it seem like that's what all grandparents/parents should do.
Because you are known to be very opinionated. And when you word it like you did, you made it seem like that's what all grandparents/parents should do.
I was commiserating with undesirable grandparent behavior - that is all. What exactly was inappropriate in the way I worded my experience?
Apart from the one "we" at the end, you used fairly generalized terms of "grandparents" and "they". So yes, it could be seen as you being blunt and telling everyone that grandparents need to keep toys at their house. Given your history, it's not a bad assumption to make. You tend to be very direct with your opinions and that is how it read. If that wasn't the case, then fine.
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