Tandem nursing advice?

[iqeb]

I've never posted here before, but I'm currently 37+1 with my second baby. The first is 19 months old. She doesn't nurse between 7:30 pm and 7 am, but nurses very frequently throughout the day. We may have had a few days where she only really nursed 3 or 4 times, but on a typical day I can't even count how many times she nurses, although many times it's just for a minute or two. I'm pretty sure my supply is very low (she was sick a few weeks ago and literally nursed all day but still barely peed until she finally drank some water) but I can always squeeze out a few drops effortlessly after she unlatches. In addition to loving to nurse, she's pretty clingy and pretty attached to me. So I foresee some challenging times ahead. I imagine she'll probably want to nurse a lot when my milk comes in, and I have no idea how nursing a toddler and a newborn simultaneously will go. Also we're leaning towards not having her visit the hospital because it seems like it would just upset her, but I'm not 100% confident in that decision. 


I'm not sure I have any super specific questions, but I was wondering if anyone has been through a similar experience and has any advice. Everyone I know irl who is pregnant with a second has weaned, or is due after me and I'm getting lots of comments about what a challenge/spectacle it's going to be. 

[melody330]

I can't tag ATM, but if you jump into the extended BF check in there's usually a few moms there who are tandem nursing.

FWIW I was pregnant and nursing my son. I wound up weaning him for my own reasons, but I thought I had wanted to tandem nurse. Everyone said I was nuts and people apparently have feelings about it, but it's up to you and your LOs.

[vvvvvfee]

i got pregnant with DS2 when DS1 was a little over 2. he nursed through my entire pregnancy and i tandem nursed both kids for a little over a year (so until the kids were a little over 4 and 1- i am still nursing DS2).

it's definitely doable, but don't be afraid to set limits! for instance, you will want to set a rule that the newborn has priority when it comes to nursing. i know your 1st is still little, but try to explain about how she can eat other yummy foods but the baby can't, so the baby has to get his/her milk first. if you can manage nursing both kids at the same time, that solves that problem, but i personally couldn't psychologically handle the two of them both latched on at once. so 99 times out of 100, DS1 had to do a little bit of waiting. oh, and if you do opt to nurse both kids at the same time, get the newborn positioned first, and then have your DD climb on and get herself positioned afterwards. a nursing pillow can be helpful, but in those early days i did a lot of laid-back nursing with DS2 with no pillow, so i basically had one kid lengthwise on either side of me.

DS1 was absolutely insatiable after my milk came in, and he wanted to nurse about a billion times a day at the beginning. this was fine for the first week or so, when i was pretty engorged, but after that i started setting limits with him about when he could nurse and for how long. you can definitely be flexible, but for your own sanity you will probably want to cut back on how much the older kid nurses, otherwise you will be doing nothing but BFing all day!

DS1 visited me in the hospital and also nursed in the hospital without issue. yes, there were/are jealousy issues at various times, but that is likely to happen with any new sibling, regardless of whether or not you're tandem nursing.

i'm happy to answer any other questions you have!

p.s. valie do you want to weigh in?

[valie]

Aww so happy to get this tag! Our littles will be about the same spacing and I hope it goes just as well for you.

For me it went really smoothly. DS (my 19month old) was on a schedule where he nursed when he woke up, after naps (two at the time), and before bed. We started prepping him at 36ish weeks and he knew that babies need milk too and that I'd make lots of milk for him and his sister.

When DD came along I nursed on alternating sides with the recommended 2-3h spacing. DS stayed on his schedule and I'd give him the same side DD had. It was easy peasy and my nipples and boobs (engorgement) didn't go through the same adjustment they did the first time 'round.

Learning to tandem feed was a game changer for me. I would nurse DD side-lying and DS would kneel at my back and flop himself over for a drink. They used to hold hands while nursing. (Now they try to pick each other's noses...)

Yeah, anything I can help with please let me know. So excited for you!

[iqeb]

Thanks, melody330, vvvvvfee, and valie. I'm definitely hoping to figure out how to nurse them simultaneously, because I imagine a lot of the toddler flinging herself on the floor crying while her brother nurses otherwise. Fortunately as my belly has gotten bigger she's gotten more flexible about nursing positions so that should help. Unfortunately she's used to nursing on demand so setting limits is going to be new territory.

[musicalsilver]

My older, DS, was a little over two and a half when DD was born. He was also suuuuper into breastfeeding, and breastfed with gusto all through my pregnancy. We had night weaned him at 18m, so there was no overnight nursing, just very frequent nursing during the day.

I think tandem nursing made things so much easier with a newborn around. Most times DD nursed, DS would as well and we'd just read books. I did limit him to one side (apart from some engorgement relief), and DD never had weight gain issues or a lack of wet diapers, so the one side nursing worked out for her.

I also feel like it made the transition to having a sibling easier because even though breastfeeding was now shared, it was still very much there.

As DS is approaching 4, we're doing some cutting down of nursing sessions (he just gets morning and night now), and those sessions that he shares with DD in the morning - he always nurses longer and is more reluctant to finish. DD is such a nonchalant nurser! It's very interesting the breastfeeding mentality differences between kids!



Eta: And positioning is important. DS had gotten pretty practiced nursing while sitting next to me because we mostly read books while nursing, which worked best for us. When DD was small she could then be in my lap. Now I just have one on each side.