Not the Post I Imagined Writing (Trigger warning)

[rm2013]

Well ladies, at my appt today we saw a perfect little 9w0d baby with no heartbeat. I'm just devastated. 2nd loss just like this in 6 months. I felt bad about "cheating" on my midwife by seeing my old OB because she was willing to see me earlier and do early u/s to reassure me (like today) and midwife can't do that because they have to contract out u/s, but I don't feel guilty anymore. OB pulled some strings to get me a pre-op visit tmo morning, D&C on Thursday, with an order for genetic testing on the baby, and made me a referral to a RE. And wrote me a script for Xanax. All before I left her office. Last go round I had to go back the next day for a horrible "confirmation" u/s with the contracted technician, and wait a week for the D&C, and was told genetic testing was not an option. I hope to be able to get some answers from the testing, seeing a RE, or both, and pray that another baby is in the cards for me.

I've so enjoyed getting to know you all and am so sad to not be able to continue on a happy journey with you all. I hope it won't be too painful to still participate here, but I really just don't know. I wish you all a happy and healthy seven more months.

[mrstommyshelby]

No no no! I just logged in to write you back. There are no words that are right. I'm so truly sorry. I'm still in the thick of this so feel free to contact me. You must be due to win the lottery or something.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you thoughts and prayers that they are able to give you some answers.

[Cythe]

Oh rm2013 (I don't want to tag you) I'm so sorry. This is so unfair and I'm just really sorry that you're going through this again. I hope you can get some answers and if you ever need to talk, ask questions or vent about the RE route don't be afraid to holler.

[sunshineandbabytoes]

I am so sorry to hear this! T & ps your way.

[thatgirlrachel]

Oh I am so very sorry. Please remember that you'll always be an O17 mom if you ever feel like coming back to "see" us. Sending you all the hugs, thoughts, & prayers.

[NariaDreaming]

Fuck. No..... I just. I'm so sorry

[BurritosAtEveryMeal]

I'm so sorry to hear the news.

[starmile]

Oh, I'm so so sorry. RPL is so shitty, I hope you find some answers with the RE. Sending you hugs.

[bootsorhearts]

I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through that. Take care of yourself. I hope the RE can give you some answers.

[riverraine]

Oh, no. That's shitty and unfair. I'm so very sorry. I hope you're able to get answers from the testing.

[thechickencoop]

Oh hon. I am so fucking sorry. I am incredibly thankful for your OB working with you so quickly. Dragging out procedures only creates more suffering. I hope you recover (physically) well this week and are able to get some answers from the testing. Huge {{hugs}} and take care of yourself.

[Rama]

Oh, rm2013. I'm so mad at the universe right now. I am so, so sorry. It's so unfair. Please take care of yourself and your SO and don't think twice about coming to us for support as needed. You are always welcome here, always, always, always. Bless your OB for being so proactive and sweet. All my hugs, love, and pillow forts. <3

[mommabakes]

I'm so so sorry rm2013. Sending lots of love to you.

[versed2]

I'm so sorry - I'm glad your OB seems so amazing with all the suckiness that is loss. Take care of yourself.

[kj808]

Oh, no. Dammit i'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you have a good OB, and I hope you're able to get some answers.

[CoachTsWife]

I'm glad your OB was so helpful today, but I'm so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you. xoxo

[bubblefan]

I am so sorry, rm2013. All the hugs and love to you.

[danvers]

I'm so sorry. There really aren't any words. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[kboyet]

I'm so sorry rm2013. Sending prayers your way.

[wonked]

I'm so sorry, hun. So many thoughts and prayers heading your way ❤

[brittneysandra]

I'm so sorry!!! Praying for you and your family that you are able to get some answers soon please take care

[yogini kiki]

I am so so sorry. This fucking sucks. Be kind to yourself and big huge hugs to you and yours.

[cougarette]

I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself. Hugs!

[mommaashley12]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs!

[blackmamba]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your doctor has been so supportive and is getting you what you need right now. We're here for you if you need anything.

[rm2013]

Thanks so much ladies. I really appreciate all the support and love. It really helps 💗

[thecatsmeow]

I am so sorry. Sending all the hugs your way.

[trinitrotoluene]

I'm so sorry!

[gamergirl360]

I am so so sorry. Prayers for you and your SO, and many hugs.