Called the contractor to put us on the list for our addition! Hopefully we can get this going. I am to the point that I am tired of talking about it.
DS will start football weight training next week for the high school!
I currently cannot lift my arm over my head due to my quest to master the overhand serve.
Applied for a school job, that I have applied for in the past. These jobs seem to go to people with connections, but at this point, what the hell. Probably won't hear anything, but knowing my luck, they will actually be interested, and at this point it is a cut in pay.
I think I have mentioned this couple before. One of my husband's soldiers has a baby in the NICU. Baby was born at 24 weeks and has been in the NICU for over a year. HE COMES HOME TODAY!!!! I legitimately cried at my desk when I saw the update.
Post by judyblume14 on Mar 23, 2017 11:22:39 GMT -5
Baby A's baptism was on Sunday and it went well. The party afterwards (deli trays, veggies, fruit, chips, dips, cake, booze) went well and was low-stress.
I go back to work in two weeks. (Sobbing into my soft pants...)
DH went to the psych. Whatever he said resulted in a screening for manic depression. I don't think that's it but he was mad about it which kind of amused me (I know that is awful). I guess he talked a lot about me and our marriage because he triumphantly came home and said the Dr. Asked what I am going to do and who I am seeing to work on me. That was one of his main take aways. So I asked him how I have changed and what I need to do differently and of course his only answer was "don't ever be mean" which then resulted in the rabbit hole of saying "hey honey, could you please grab your socks from the living room floor" isn't being mean and "that isn't what happened, here is what we said" when he is gaslighting me isn't mean either.
He doesn't have another appointment until mid April. And I remain pissed that his main take away was that I need to work on me. He's effing crazy to the point one of my friends won't come over if he is here and another won't sit with us at sports (he says random Trump stuff and random aggressive things and it makes her uncomfortable) ... But yeah let me work on me.
2chatter, Not trying to excuse his behavior in anyway, but...
From what you have posted here you seem very disinterested in your DH. ( I know he has gone crazy and the only way you can deal with him is by disengaging.) However, if you want to fix your marriage or be happy in your marriage you probably will want to talk to someone to help fall back into at least like with your DH (if he gets the help he needs)
Plus, also you know he is lying right? I mean when he is telling the stories he is a) giving only his side of things and he is delusional right now, b) when you do get angry at him I am sure he is leaving out a lot of why you got there. c) His therapist probably saw through all that and said something like "she needs to see someone too, in order to deal with this" and then I refer back to a) he is delusional and he heard "she needs help to work on her"
2chatter - if he's looking at a diagnosis for a serious mental illness, yes his therapist is going to strongly advise that you have someone to help you deal with being married to someone who is seriously mentally ill. It's not that you need to work on you (though I'm sure that's what H heard), it's "holy shit, your poor wife needs help dealing with your insanity".
Post by billybumbler on Mar 23, 2017 12:24:14 GMT -5
2chatter I have a friend who is bipolar and before her diagnosis the first clue that something was wrong was that she started behaving very strangely and erratically. Then a couple of months later she had a full blown manic/psychotic episode. For some reason whenever she had an episode the person she would be most aggressive towards was her husband.
I hope this is not what's happening to your H because it's so, so hard to deal with. But if it is, I hope he can get help soon.
2chatter, I think the therapist is right. It would probably be helpful for you to (somehow in your crazy, hectic life) find some time to meet with a therapist as well. Coping with a husband who's going off the rails is hard enough. If he does end up with any kind of diagnosis, that's a lot to work through.
And you have a LOT going on without him piling on it.
Either way, it may take some pressure off YH if you're able to see someone too, so he doesn't feel like he's 100% of the problem. Even if he is. At least he'll see that you're both putting in the work to make it work.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 23, 2017 13:54:47 GMT -5
I would agree that you may also want to see someone. The fact is, you have an H with mental issues of some kind. Even if it doesn't work out between the two of you in the long run, it would probably be helpful to see a third party who you can share everything with and who can help you navigate this whole thing. And help you step away or step back in, whatever the situation ends up calling for.
Oh in job news I am likely to hear something next week about the job in Seattle. I hope it's good news because I've pretty much already moved there in my head, as has DH. He applied for a job with his federal agency there this week, hoping I'm getting a job there too.
My buddy who has been pushing them to bring me on said that after this, there would be "a process" which I think translates to "partnership vote" but could also just mean my waiving in to the Bar up there and taking the state specific test. So everybody think good thoughts for me.
ETA- Obviously we decided moving there means DH goes back to work. MIL would move with us, which we have mixed feelings about. It needs to happen for a variety of reasons, but I feel nervous about major differences in how we see the world. We will absolutely have to find somewhere that has an apartment or enough land to put a Granny Flat.
Anyone in the PNW know much about Bainbridge Island? That's where we would like to move if this works out. My office is less than 10 minutes by foot from the ferry.
Post by somebabiesmom on Mar 23, 2017 14:18:55 GMT -5
I have an update. Talked the MH last night about how we need to stop planning our lives around this loan forgiveness stuff if he's not actually planning on finishing the program. I mean, 6 years is a long time. If it was 3 years, I'd feel like he was in a better position to gauge whether he's staying or going; but at 6 years, there's just no way to gauge. Thus, my solution is commit, commit, commit to the bird in the hand and forget about the two in the bush.
I'm open to seeing someone - just waiting until we hit our deductible to defray the additional ongoing monthly expense. The spin was just plain annoying.
If he ends up with a diagnosis beyond general anxiety level stuff, insurance pretty much stops covering, so I hope that doesn't happen. It sucks.
Post by oldbaylover1024 on Mar 23, 2017 14:54:12 GMT -5
2chatter - You have all my good vibes coming to you. I mentioned previously that my FIL went through some similar issues and is now medicated. It made all the difference. I hope YH is getting good help.
And you deserve wellness, too. Talking to someone may be a good outlet for you.
AFM, C has officially been home a month on Saturday, and being a family of 4 is great! MH is scheduled for the big snip, so that's great! Adios birth control!
Martha has started texting me again. I'm slowly responding... Time will tell how this plays out.
PAL May '17 Siggy Challenge: Picnics - Feminist Picnic
Two MM/C 1/09/12 & MM/C 4/26/12 BFP#3 - Rainbow #1 born 5/11/13 via unplanned C-section Two CP 11/23/15 & 5/13/16 BFP#6 - Rainbow #2 born 2/10/17 via planned C-section
Post by CoverGirl82 on Mar 23, 2017 15:03:59 GMT -5
mommyatty, good luck!! It sounds like that would be a nice change for you and your whole family.
2chatter, I just want to say I would feel frustrated too. My sister went to a therapist when we were teenagers, and the deal was that she went alone and then my parents and me went to a session. I felt like the whole session was "stop being mean to your daughter/sister." Would you be able to see the same therapist so they can get to know you, and not just hear the one-sided story from your H?
Something you may also want to keep in the back of your mind... I got my Bachelor's in Psychology, and one thing I do remember is that some personality disorders can be misdiagnosed as bipolar (Borderline Personality Disorder comes to mind). So hopefully over time, the therapist can determine if bipolar is the correct diagnosis or if it might be something else.
2chatter all good vibes to you. We have dealt with many mental health issues in my family, and it is a constant battle.
One more update. 2 more negotiations on bills and we can wrap up my dad's estate. I will be so glad to get this thing closed. As soon as I get the ok, I am going to burn all of these mounds of dusty papers in a bonfire you can see from the space station.
Post by supertrooper1 on Mar 23, 2017 15:26:38 GMT -5
mommyatty, Bainbridge Island is very nice, but relying on the ferry all of the time would be annoying to me. Walking on isn't too expensive ($8.20 round trip) but the car fares add up fast. Currently, round trip on the ferry with a car is $23 plus passenger fees, and they go up quite often. During the summer you would probably have to plan ahead if and make reservations for your car. The other option to drive around is 1.5 to 2 hours to Seattle. Also, that 10 minute walk from the ferry dock might be up hill. Seattle is all hills and the ferry dock is at the bottom. In the rain/drizzle everyday wouldn't be fun to me. I'm not trying to talk you out of it, just things to consider.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Mar 23, 2017 16:01:48 GMT -5
updates: I tour the local elementary school next week. Apparently an acquaintance of mine is on the PTA and her job is to give school tours to new families. I find that really interesting but I guess it's normal?
For our current daycare, I just received a more detailed progress report for DS and have a follow up PTC next week to find out in which areas he is behind his peers.
According to them he knows numbers 1-20 and letters a,t,m,s,g,r,i,f,c,n,b,o,e,h,j,p,u and he's working on dictation of the movable alphabet (I don't know what that means but I'll google it).
On the number front though, I know that he actually gets the concept of thirties and up to 100, but you have to help him with remembering it's thirty..then from there he knows thirty one, thirty two etc. until he gets to forty. Once you remind him of the word forty he knows forty one, forty two etc.
I dunno it seems like this report isn't giving him all the points he should be getting. Or maybe he knows it but they haven't introduced the concept to him so they aren't counting it.
supertrooper1, If I remember right they cancel/ground ferries during storms and we can get a lot of storms during the winter. I would agree walking in rain/misty weather 9 months out of the year would get old. mommyatty, I would look at the trams and bus system my girlfriend raves about them. Does your MIL want to move with you?
2chatter, My DH took the same thing away from his therapist. That "I need to fix things not him" and I've meet with her once and got thrown under the bus so I don't have very high regards for her. The therapist only see one side so shouldn't say anything about the other half needs in my opinion.
oldbaylover1024, I totally understand you aren't ready for ML to be over. Has work left you alone lately?
mustardseed2007, your son and my daughter are the same age (12/2011 babies), and I don't think he sounds that far behind their age group academically. My older daughter had kids in her K class that were way more behind. Kids who didn't know any letters or even colors. All of them made it through K and moved on to 1st grade. I really think he'd do fine in public K.
Od.in Wil.liam was born this past Saturday via C-Section. He was 8lbs 2oz and 20in long. He is a pretty laid baby baby and goes about 3 or 4 hours between bottles. I have forgotten how much it sucks to recover from a c-section, even though this was my third. I'm feeling pretty good now though. Also, the hormone swings are killing me too. I just keep telling myself that the moods are temporary and try to keep myself occupied. My DD is thrilled to have a baby in the house. DS is still a little unsure about his new baby brother, but he is starting to come around.
Post by librarychica on Mar 23, 2017 18:22:05 GMT -5
I got permission to trial part time hours for 8 weeks. My boss thinks she can get it approved permanently but her boss' boss is giving some pushback. We will see. Fingers crossed! I am so happy.
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 23, 2017 19:16:19 GMT -5
DD is 2 weeks old today! She had a pedi appt today and she has surpassed her birth weight by 2 oz! This didn't happen with ds until he was like 5 weeks old. Ds is handling it well. He's still in love with her. Dh is finally going back to work Saturday for half of a shift then back for real next Thursday. We are all ready for our new normal and some time apart lol.
Even though dd is giving me 3-4 hour stretches I'm exhausted. I also think I'm getting a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone. This is about when it happened with ds so I'm hoping and praying it doesn't get worse.
Anyone in the PNW know much about Bainbridge Island? That's where we would like to move if this works out. My office is less than 10 minutes by foot from the ferry.
[ Br]
I grew up in south Seattle and can say that Bainbridge is great!! The ferry adds some time to the commute, but it is probably more predictable than dealing with long traffic backups if you were commuting from south Seattle.
I hope it works out for you! We are hoping to move back out there "some day."
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