D & C Question, * TW Loss mentioned* everyone welcome

[mrstommyshelby]

** TW This is thread will discuss D & C "stuff" **




I want to ask a few questions to post D & C moms whether it just happened or was a thing of the past.  I'm not going to tag anyone in case they aren't feeling this today.  This is going to be long.  Sorry!

My D & C was Tuesday 3/28 so I'm 9 days past.  I think I may be turning a corner here but I'd like to run a couple things by you guys because my follow up appt isn't until next week and I'm looking for more real world answers anyway.

Did you experience what I can only guess is hormonal changes post D & C?  This sounds silly as I'm typing it but I didn't anticipate having some feelings (or lack there of) that felt a bit out of my control and wasn't like me in normal day to day.  I was in the minority and wanted to have my mc happen at home so I knew my fate for almost two weeks and had time to process.  I got very sad at the hospital but otherwise I had gone through my emotions and was ready to get the physical stuff over with so we could get this show on the road again. 

Immediately after the procedure I was tired and a bit blank etc and rested for three days but 5 days after I was otherwise fine and then I just started crying out of nowhere.  I wasn't even thinking about what happened or how I wasn't pg any longer,  I was just walking down my stairs.  That night I couldn't fall asleep, having night sweats weird dreams, etc.  On 6 days past I was so not myself.  It's not like I'm always coping so wonderfully with everything in my life but I didn't want to get out of bed, I was really tired, very hungry, poor concentration etc and more unexplained crying.  That was probably the worst day.  I felt like a ton of bricks.  This is what was really off.  7 days and 8 days past I was extremely tired and oddly really hungry which is pissing me off because I'm immaturely angry about being up a couple pounds.  (I know this is superficial but whatever I'm being honest.  This is my safe space!)

I woke up today feeling better.  This isn't an SOS post or anything. 
At face value it probably seems like oh you are eating because you are sad, your tired from your emotions, you are crying because you just had a m/c but it's seems different than that.   I had a m/c at 5 weeks between my two boys and while that wasn't a highlight of my life, I don't remember anything like this. 

I'm just wondering if anyone else experienced this type of aftermath?  If so, when did you start feeling like yourself (well your "new normal" self after this life event is a part of your story)?  Extra credit if you remember when your period came back.  I'm wishfully thinking maybe this hormone shift is my body trying to get back to normal.

TL; DR - were you hormonal post D & C? 

[shytimes]

Oh man, did I have hormonal swings. And it sounds like you have the same issue I did, which was that nobody warned me to expect them. I had my d&c on a Tuesday, rested, thought I was fine, and then we went to a wedding the following weekend and all of a sudden (3-4 days after), I was just not ok - crying, angry, I was a mess. I think it has to do with the massive drop in your HCG levels triggered by the d&c and you don't have the leveling of the postpartum prolactin. I'm by no means a hormonal expert, nor have I researched this, but it made sense to me.

And yes, I completely agree it wasn't just crying or sadness because of the MC... it was an out of control type of thing. Oh and I gained 5 pounds from eating the feels.

Sending you a very large hug..... I started feeling better at the 2 week mark I think, but it took awhile before I was myself. My period never came back because I wasn't really getting periods - I went back to the RE for monitoring of my HCG levels and once it went to zero we did an FET.

[bootsorhearts]

I had a D&C for a blighted ovum last spring. I mostly just felt very tired after and kind of 'deflated' if that makes sense. It's definitely a huge hormone crash and it takes time to adjust. When AF showed that was a relief in a way that things were back to 'normal' at least physically. I think AF showed about 4-5 weeks after but if your HCG levels are higher it might take longer. Usually your body will ramp up to O as soon as your HCG gets to zero or almost zero.

Hope you start feeling better soon. If you don't, talk to your doctor and see if some meds would help. There's nothing wrong with taking something to get you over the hump. I did after my first m/c and it really helped me bounce back. I only took them for a few months and then I didn't need them anymore.

[blackmamba]

First, {{{BIG HUGS}}}.

Next, yes, the hormonal changes are crazy. It's okay to be emotional and to have ups and downs. I don't think I was "myself" for 2-3 months after. I was the most hormonal for the first 2-3 weeks. It was so weird. The day of the D&C, I slept most of the day and then we went out to dinner because I was feeling fine. Then, a few days later, I started feeling all the feels.

I also had a lot of body image issues. We were on vacation a few weeks after and I just felt gross. I had gained weight and I was still spotting. I felt like a horrible mother because I couldn't go swimming with DS. I was miserable and felt like I had failed at everything.

My husband was great and I have an awesome therapist. I recommend talking about how you're feeling and what you're going through. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel what you need to feel and react the way you need to react. Communicate these feelings to the people that support you.

Know that we are thinking of you and we're here.

[Rama]

I'm browsing through threads this morning on mobile, so I'll be back to reply when I'm on PC.

[mrstommyshelby]

Everyone - thank you all for responding! So much good information here. While I'm bummed others have found themselves in this same position, it's healing to know I'm not alone in my current state. I feel very supported with all this info so I hope others reading feeling the same. Group hug round # 2!

shytimes - you nailed it, I was not expecting this. I was expecting to be sad from time to time but this hormone out of my control thing wasn't on my radar. I'm going to mention that to my MW just as a reminder when they discuss options with their patients. I think this may have gotten overlooked because so much of my discussions centered around avoiding the D&C but I think if I had this on my radar I would've been more prepared for it.

[riverraine]

Big hugs, lady. I'm glad you posted, and appreciate everyone else who's sharing their experiences.

My D&C took place 4 days before the presidential election, so I was a complete mess on the one hand, but also distracted from my own experience by what was happening. I was really emotional, to the point where I cried on the phone on a conference call the day after the election, and my husband asked me, "Are you sure it's normal to be crying this much over politics?" Looking back, I think the post-D&C hormones were probably making me more emotional than I would have been otherwise. I would say that I felt relatively normal again by the time my period came back about 4 weeks later.

In a way I think it would be harder to process the experience when you're expected to just return to regular life right away. Agree with previous suggestions re: communicating your feelings (here, of course! and also with husband and doctor or therapist) and allowing yourself to feel your emotions. There's no timeline for healing.

[Rama]

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. My D&C was a day after yours (3/29) and my follow up isn't actually until 4/20(!!).

I don't know if you stalk the TTCAL check in on GKU, but I posted in there earlier this week about how I just feel nothing. That's starting to, finally, pass.

Everyone told me to take the day after D&C off, so I did, and I ended up taking the Friday off, too, at the last minute. Thinking about going back to work after everything just gave me a huuuuuge wave of anxiety, so I gave myself a pass and I'm glad I did.

Post-D&C, I was the same as before D&C -- unfeeling. That's not to say that I didn't have feels, but I couldn't feel or express them. I'd occasionally tear up, but that was almost always in response to MrRama crying or tearing up or otherwise expressing his emotions. I could not (and am still struggling with) expressing my own grief/feelings/whatever.

I also got the ravenous hunger, so I oscillated between being too exhausted/spent to make/get food and eating constantly. I forget to eat when I'm emotionally occupied, so this is pretty standard stuff for me. I'll usually make up for it with eating way too much when I do break fast, though.

Yesterday was my best day so far. Tuesday was my worst. It was...really bad. I wish our grief counselors (that we requested weeks ago now) would get the frick ahold of us because Tuesday I was in a really dangerous place. I did kind of SOS, but being unfeeling helped me not do anything stupid...on purpose. My problem on Tuesday was I was so out of it, I could have easily done something on accident/without thinking. It's seriously like an out-of-body kind of thing. Thank anything that watches over me that that didn't happen.

I still don't feel like myself, but I'm getting there. It's kind of hard for me to distinguish when I'm not doing so hot and when I'm genuinely not okay sometimes, because I respond with [morbid] humor to loss. The same day we found out, I was able to smile and laugh and I still can -- fairly easily, even -- but it's not me. It's definitely a facade. I know I'm sad or upset or something in there, but I still can't feel it. I don't know what I am, but I'm definitely not back to what my normal will be. Not yet. Probably not for a while.

For some hormonal numbers, I asked my OB to put orders in for me to track my betas to negative. I was something at 52k with the first draw the day before D&C and 608 yesterday. So, yeah, we're definitely having a huuuuuge drop in hCG, which is liable to throw anyone out of whack. I've heard from some of my friends that they didn't get their cycles back for approximately 6 weeks post-D&C, so that's the number I'm looking at. Right now, I'm just waiting to STOP bleeding, so we can look forward to our next cycle. We're planning to head straight into treatment again immediately.

[mrstommyshelby]

riverraine, I'll never be over the election. what a double whammy for you!

[mrstommyshelby]

Rama , It sounds like my Monday and your Tuesday were identical days. It's very interesting that we were both 6 days past. I saw you write (here I think) that you may go back to work on Friday. I didn't want to be forward and tell you to stay home but when I saw you took it off I was relieved for you.

My bleeding just stopped on Monday and I had a lot of bleeding. Now it's light spotting and more like tinted discharge.

ETA - I'm glad you mentioned having the 6 weeks mark in your mind for first post D &C period. I need to shift my expectations.

[Rama]

Apr 6, 2017 10:50:27 GMT -5 mrstommyshelby said:

Rama , It sounds like my Monday and your Tuesday were identical days. It's very interesting that we were both 6 days past. I saw you write (here I think) that you may go back to work on Friday. I didn't want to be forward and tell you to stay home but when I saw you took it off I was relieved for you.

My bleeding just stopped on Monday and I had a lot of bleeding. Now it's light spotting and more like tinted discharge.

ETA - I'm glad you mentioned having the 6 weeks mark in your mind for first post D &C period. I need to shift my expectations.

My body's an asshole.  It tapered off to spotting after a few days, then went back to allthablood earlier this week.  I might even say I'm bleeding more now than just after the D&C.  Jerk. :/

Ah, I wish you would have told me to stay home that Friday!  I kept asking people for their opinions and kept getting the, "well, it's up to you," which is suuuuuper helpful *eyeroll*.  Eventually, I just decided I needed it as another care day, but I didn't want to use all my sick leave.  Oh well.  I'll get it back someday.

EDIT: Although, to be 100% frank, if it weren't a Friday, I probably would have pushed myself to go back to work.  It wouldn't have been a good time.

[rm2013]

I just want to give you ladies all the hugs, especially mrstommyshelby and Rama.

First, Rama please call your doctor and get seen this week. Your post-op checkup should be 1-2 weeks, not sure who the hell scheduled you almost a month out. The increased bleeding means you may have some retained tissue - they need to take a quick look via u/s. Hopefully it's nothing major and will resolve on its own, or there's a drug (pill) that they can give you to help clear things out. I had a huge hemorrhage 1 week post D&C last year and it was scary but fortunately it was just my body getting rid of the extra tissue and nothing else was needed. My HCG levels were 120,000 the day of my D&C and it took about 3 weeks or so to get a negative HPT. Then I got my period exactly 30 days after my D&C.

[rm2013]

Emotion wise the first two weeks were really shitty. With my first D&C I went back to work after one week so it was rough. I definitely felt the hormonal roller coaster.

This time around it's really hitting me hard having 2 back to back in just a few months. Physically I'm fine, this recovery from the 2nd D&C has been a breeze (I'm now 2 weeks out). But emotionally I'm a wreck. I have not been able to work and have been having anxiety attacks with the slightest bit of stress. I've been seeing a counselor/therapist and at the first visit she said she felt I needed to see a psychiatrist and possibly get on anti-depressants. So I'm going to get that evaluation and go from there.

[Rama]

Apr 6, 2017 13:55:38 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

I just want to give you ladies all the hugs, especially mrstommyshelby and Rama .

First, Rama please call your doctor and get seen this week. Your post-op checkup should be 1-2 weeks, not sure who the hell scheduled you almost a month out. The increased bleeding means you may have some retained tissue - they need to take a quick look via u/s. Hopefully it's nothing major and will resolve on its own, or there's a drug (pill) that they can give you to help clear things out. I had a huge hemorrhage 1 week post D&C last year and it was scary but fortunately it was just my body getting rid of the extra tissue and nothing else was needed. My HCG levels were 120,000 the day of my D&C and it took about 3 weeks or so to get a negative HPT. Then I got my period exactly 30 days after my D&C.

I highly doubt I'd get an appointment this week, since tomorrow will likely already be booked up.

We decided to just keep my 2nd OB appointment as my follow up.  I'm okay with this choice, but wouldn't mind being seen earlier.  I'm not concerned about the bleeding because it's a normal amount, nothing worth worrying over.  I basically went from a light period to heavy spotting to a light/occasionally medium period kind of flow.  That doesn't set off any flags in my head, but I will definitely speak up if that changes. :)

I'm getting weekly betas, so I'm hoping in the next week or two will hit <5 and we can look forward to a new cycle.  Assuming my body gets there.  My cycles have, historically, been absent because of my PCOS and oglio-/anovulation dx, so that's why I'm giving it 6 weeks before starting to look at alternatives.

[rm2013]

Sounds good Rama! I was thinking it was a lot of bleeding for some reason

[blackmamba]

Apr 6, 2017 10:44:26 GMT -5 mrstommyshelby said:

riverraine , I'll never be over the election. what a double whammy for you!

This. I spent the day in tears. Ugly crying. I can't imagine what I would have been like right after my D&C.

[smores]

mrstommyshelby - Big hugs. Yes, I was hormonal after my D&C. I'm a bit further out than you and I would say I started to feel myself on an upswing around the 2 week mark. After the initial shock of finding out, I too felt blank. I think I had to detach to protect myself from feeling too much at once. The sadness, blankness, okay-ness, anger, and acceptance kind of came in waves after that, and still do but not as intensely or frequently. I'm three weeks post D&C now and mostly feel like I've accepted it, although of course, I'll always wish things could have been different. Even still, though, there are things that will trigger me out of nowhere and the first time it really caught me off guard since I thought I was getting "better". I got a really good reminder from mflowers929 that grief is not linear (not tagging since idk if she would want to be tagged to a BMB). To echo her, you are allowed to have relapses.

Hormonal changes are a part of the process as levels change so quickly. I didn't experience it the same way you have, mine presented more as "unexplained" anger and frustration. I definitely didn't feel like myself for a couple days there.

I haven't got my period back yet, but my doctor said to expect it 4-6 weeks post D&C.

I'm always around if you need someone.

[littleowl913]

All the hugs mrstommyshelby, and Rama. I don't remember any hormonal swings but I just wanted to add my hugs and also I got my period 6 weeks after my D&C.

[mrstommyshelby]

Apr 6, 2017 14:02:57 GMT -5 rm2013 said:

Emotion wise the first two weeks were really shitty. With my first D&C I went back to work after one week so it was rough. I definitely felt the hormonal roller coaster.

This time around it's really hitting me hard having 2 back to back in just a few months. Physically I'm fine, this recovery from the 2nd D&C has been a breeze (I'm now 2 weeks out). But emotionally I'm a wreck. I have not been able to work and have been having anxiety attacks with the slightest bit of stress. I've been seeing a counselor/therapist and at the first visit she said she felt I needed to see a psychiatrist and possibly get on anti-depressants. So I'm going to get that evaluation and go from there.

Aw, such big hugs RM.  This double dose for you is beyond awful.

[mrstommyshelby]

Apr 6, 2017 14:02:03 GMT -5 mkrupar said:

So I haven't had to have a D&C, but it sounds like everything you're feeling is normal given the hormone shift your body is going through.

I'm always thinking about you and our other loss moms. I just want to wrap you all up in my arms for a big hug.

I wish could do the blow kiss emoji to you from desktop

All of these responses have been really helpful.  At first I wasn't sure if participating still would bum me out but its been the opposite.  It's so encouraging to see posts in this thread from people that have been in this aftermath of a  D&C position but are now on the other side.  shytimes,bootsorhearts,blackmamba,riverraine,littleowl913,

Hugs again rm2013 and of course Rama and Smores too!

[Rama]

AW update on my bleeding status for no reason: It's back to spotting. Wtf, body.

[mrstommyshelby]

Apr 6, 2017 16:38:26 GMT -5 Rama said:

AW update on my bleeding status for no reason: It's back to spotting. Wtf, body.

Bravo body. Bravo!

[danvers]

1st - I'm again so sorry for your loss.

2nd - what you described about the hormone crash sounds normal to me. I was pretty emotional for probably two weeks after mine last summer (crying a lot is odd for me normally but post-baby and post-d&c I've been a hormonal mess each time). It took a long while for me to feel "normal" again, emotional. The physical part less so.

My levels were 50k when I had my loss last summer at 10 weeks and it took for.ev.er for them to drop. I went in for 10 weeks of follow up draws before they finally got to below 5. My period came back 6 weeks after the d&c but since my levels were still up I had to continue to go in for blood work. I had super regular cycles after that initial period too.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. It ust sucks and there are no other words. ((Big Hugs))

[mrstommyshelby]

Not like everyone needs a play by play but since we have so much experience in this thread I'm going to ask another question.

As mentioned above I haven't bled for four days. I wasn't even wearing a pad anymore and then I got out of bed this morning and big gush. I'm going to call my MW today but anyone else bounce back and forth? I know Rama mentioned starting and stopping too so maybe I don't even need to ask. I'm just disappointed it's lingering.

I'm so glad a male co worker is picking up for a long drive to a meeting today. Great.

[Cythe]

Apr 7, 2017 6:48:02 GMT -5 mrstommyshelby said:

Not like everyone needs a play by play but since we have so much experience in this thread I'm going to ask another question.

As mentioned above I haven't bled for four days. I wasn't even wearing a pad anymore and then I got out of bed this morning and big gush. I'm going to call my MW today but anyone else bounce back and forth? I know Rama mentioned starting and stopping too so maybe I don't even need to ask. I'm just disappointed it's lingering.

I'm so glad a male co worker is picking up for a long drive to a meeting today. Great.

I didn't have a D&C mine was medication assisted at home, but this happened to me. I never really passed any tissue, just low key bled for 5 or 6 days. It had reduced to spotting and I had the OK from my RE to use my menstrual cup instead of pads.

H and I went out for Chinese and right as I walked into the restaurant I had a huge gush and I felt all sorts of clots come out. In that instant, I passed so much it filled my cup, underwear and was on my pants. It was traumatic as fuck.

Then it was over. Just spotting. As I type this up, I realize it's not really the same thing as you're experiencing but I'm leaving it. Bodies are assholes and I hope yours stops jerking you around.

[rm2013]

mrstommyshelby that's sounds normal. Hopefully after your first period everything will go back to normal.

[mrstommyshelby]

This again! So I did an AW post already about my period coming back which was pretty normal. The day before it came and then intermittently since I've been having what I can only describe as brain fog. It's similar to the couple weeks after my D&C when I couldn't concentrate. I can't focus on things it's very weird. This could have nothing to do with my mc but I can't help but think they are related.

Anyone else have this feeling this long post mc? I googled brain fog (I know I know) and hormonal imbalance came up. I'm going to call my MW tomorrow but I have myself in a ridiculous tizzy over here.

[NariaDreaming]

May 1, 2017 17:53:31 GMT -5 mrstommyshelby said:

This again! So I did an AW post already about my period coming back which was pretty normal. The day before it came and then intermittently since I've been having what I can only describe as brain fog. It's similar to the couple weeks after my D&C when I couldn't concentrate. I can't focus on things it's very weird. This could have nothing to do with my mc but I can't help but think they are related.

Anyone else have this feeling this long post mc? I googled brain fog (I know I know) and hormonal imbalance came up. I'm going to call my MW tomorrow but I have myself in a ridiculous tizzy over here.

Honest to god i don't remember much of 2016. I blame the 4 miscarriages

[riverraine]

Just here to offer ghost hugs and support. I hope your MW can help with an explanation and advice.

[Cythe]

Yeah I was in a similar boat last fall, but I know mine was more of a depression fog. I recognized that I just wasn't myself. I have no idea how long I felt like that, but I'm sure this falls under the "let yourself feel however you feel" category.

So much love and hugs!