Wedding Attire Help

[mlee116]

DH and I are going to a wedding in May and I need help figuring out how to dress us.  The wedding starts at 6 and the invitation states that it is formal attire.  The ceremony will be in a church, then there will be dinner and dancing afterwards. 

Do I wear a long dress?  Can I do cocktail length?  If you have pictures or links of ideas, I would be forever grateful.  I would prefer not spend a ton, but if I have ideas, I can search for similar things if I need to.

Can DH wear a black suit?  He literally just bought a nice new suit for my brother's wedding, so it'd be nice if he could wear it, maybe with a black tie?

No one here does formal weddings (I am pretty sure that Hilbilly Elegy book was written about where I live), so I am in unfamiliar territory.

[helenahhandbasket]

Long formal dresses are kind of dated unless it's a true black or white tie affair. Cocktail length is so much fresher. I'm not sure where you live, but I'd start in your local department store's special occasion section for the most / biggest selection.

Black suit for your hubs is fine!

[somebabiesmom]

Definitely go to Rent the Runway. You can get a really cute dress for $30 rather than have to buy something for more that you may never wear again. They also have a lot of pics of real people wearing them (and you can filter the images based on height and weight). And they send you 2 sizes to make sure it fits. Oh - and they give you advice on how to accessorize.

As for males wearing tuxes for formal weddings - I get irrationally angry at this and will either not go or TH will wear a nice suit.

[mommyatty]

According to The Knot, your hubs will be good in a dark suit and tie, no tux required. And it also says you can choose between long dresses and dressy cocktail length.

I love this one.

[saraml13]

Apr 10, 2017 9:14:55 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Long formal dresses are kind of dated unless it's a true black or white tie affair. Cocktail length is so much fresher. I'm not sure where you live, but I'd start in your local department store's special occasion section for the most / biggest selection.

Black suit for your hubs is fine!

+ 1.  
Also, your husband doesn't need to wear a black tie either.  A colored tie is fine (and IMO my stylish than a black tie) as long as it doesn't have cartoon characters.

[k3am]

I'd do Rent the Runway too. I love an excuse to rent an amazing dress that I have no reason to wear again.

Unless you're a long dress fan, I'd there's no need for one. YH's suit is fine.

[billybumbler]

Cocktail length and black suit are fine, IMO. YH's tie can be other colors too.

I wore this to my sister's wedding and even fat and 3 months pregnant it was very flattering

m.asos.com/elise-ryan/elise-ryan-skater-dress-with-lace-panel-back/prd/6182220?iid=6182220&clr=Navy&SearchQuery=Elise&pgesize=50&pge=0&totalstyles=51&gridsize=2&gridrow=20&gridcolumn=1

[indyrowergirl]

Another vote for RTR!  I rented this one (link) the last time I had a black tie event, and loved it!  (DH loved it too!)  I will caution that the bust line ran a little low, but with some fashion tape I was able to wear a regular bra (bonus!)  I wore it with black strappy heels and I think it would be great for a black tie wedding as well.  I liked that it worked well in an ambiguous situation - not too formal and not too cocktail, but also not bridesmaid-y. PM me if you want a $30 off code for your first rental.

As for your DH, another vote for black suit is fine.  As long as the tie isn't too corporate (maybe a solid satin?  They have plenty of colors at places that rent tuxes, like Men's Warehouse.)  Make sure the shoes look a bit more formal than usual.

Have fun!

[Widget123]

Can I ask a general Rent the Runway question, hopefully without hijacking your thread too much? How far in advance do you have to order stuff on RTR? Like if I am attending a wedding on 4th of July weekend, do I really need to pick something soon because it seems like a fair number of dresses are only 1 or 2 left in my size?

[2chatter]

IDK if this will help you but I discovered this weekend that juniors sizes fit me like petites. Petite dresses are dowager in style much of the time, but I found a very cute dress for the wedding I am going to (outdoors, with reception inside after) they had lots of cocktail options too.

My dress (it's almost knee length on me at 5'3").
m.macys.com/shop/product/bcx-juniors-ruffled-back-necklace-shift-dress-a-macys-exclusive-?ID=2852900&CategoryID=53640

Cute style option:
Not this pattern maybe but they had some in this style that were v cute.
m.macys.com/shop/product/teeze-me-juniors-sleeveless-floral-print-high-low-dress?ID=2676700&CategoryID=42738

[helenahhandbasket]

OP, I will poof this quickly but here is my group of friends at a formal wedding last summer. This was a Saturday night affair at a local catering hall, multi course sit down dinner and dancing type of event. You can see most of the ladies in cocktail length and the men are all in different configurations of suits/ ties etc.

Of course I'm the one in the bright orange, ha

[erinshelley21]

My H would die if he had to attend a wedding in anything more than slacks and a polo. He used to wear jeans and I put the end to that when we were dating.

[helenahhandbasket]

Poof fail

[mlee116]

www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/ml_monique_lhuillier/never_let_you_go_sheath

www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/ml_monique_lhuillier/back_down_dress

www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/likely/navy_lace_avenell_dress

www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/erin_erin_fetherston/black_devon_dress

Ok, I did a quick search based on my size and the dates needed...am I on the right track? As you can see, I naturally go for dark colors.  

You guys are so helpful!!

[mlee116]

Apr 10, 2017 12:24:19 GMT -5 erinshelley21 said:

My H would die if he had to attend a wedding in anything more than slacks and a polo. He used to wear jeans and I put the end to that when we were dating.

Exactly! DH will wear a suit, but more often he wears an oxford shirt, tie and slacks.  He did say that he will 100% not wear a tux as a guest, so thank goodness his suit will work!

[mustardseed2007]

Do ya'll normally just rent one or do you rent more so that you find one that fits. (Sorry another hijack)

[helenahhandbasket]

mlee116 I love the Monique Lhuillier!

[Widget123]

mlee116 I think I like the first one you listed the best.

[2chatter]

I loooove the second one! I am admittedly a little bit over the whole lace thing. It's doesn't seem as fun as you can be for cocktail any more - it's just a worn out look for me right now.

[k3am]

I agree with 2chatter on both counts. I'd rent #2 in a heartbeat.

[somebabiesmom]

One vote for the black devon!

[indyrowergirl]

Another vote for #2!  One word of caution (and this might not be an issue for you).  I've rented several ML dresses and found that they have a very defined waist.  I'm more of a rectangle shape, not at all hourglass, so I have to be careful with ML and order my regular size, and a size up.  If you google Monique Lhullier Bridesmaid dresses you can find her size chart to help sort out what size might work for you.


Widget123, if it's a dress you really want, order it now so they don't go out of stock.  If you cancel 30 days out, you get a full refund.  Here's the details on their policy.


mustardseed2007, RTR gives you a back up size of the same dress as part of the rental.  So if mlee116, orders #2 in her regular size, she can also choose a size larger or smaller to have shipped.  (The stylist notes in the description will give you a good idea of whether to size up or down.)  They also offer a second dress rental (but this one is in only one size) for $35.  Finally, let's say you took advantage and got your two sizes in your preferred dress, and one size in a back up dress, and had issues with all 3 of them (didn't fit/look good, bad zipper, etc.) - you can always call the 800 # and have them overnight you a 4th dress.  (You'll get credits for the others.)  For that reason, I always use their "hearts" feature to make a shortlist of dresses that I like for a particular event, so if I can't get one (or it has an issue) I can easily choose another one without having to dig through their entire inventory all over again.

[k3am]

Apr 11, 2017 11:08:20 GMT -5 indyrowergirl said:

Finally, let's say you took advantage and got your two sizes in your preferred dress, and one size in a back up dress, and had issues with all 3 of them (didn't fit/look good, bad zipper, etc.) - you can always call the 800 # and have them overnight you a 4th dress.  (You'll get credits for the others.)  For that reason, I always use their "hearts" feature to make a shortlist of dresses that I like for a particular event, so if I can't get one (or it has an issue) I can easily choose another one without having to dig through their entire inventory all over again.

I do the same with shortlists. I try to always have a few backups. BOTH times I've had issues, none of my backups were available. Their stylists are also pretty good about helping out. I let them know what I was looking for (DH's stupid, stupid themes) and they'd compile a list of 5-10 dresses available in my size and that met the criteria. They had some good picks I hadn't seen myself. 

Also, there is the slim chance that you order a dress in advance and it gets returned in a condition that's not good enough to be sent to you. This happened to me once and I was able to wear a dress I never would have rented (who RENTS a dress for $235?) since they'll offer you up ANY dress at ANY price point in return, so now I always have a shortlist of dresses I'd rent if my budget were unlimited. 

[Widget123]

awesome thank you indyrowergirl. Im so nervous about renting something without trying it on first, a second completely different dress for $35 sounds good.