Goals for the week

[emmygirl]

Make a dent in my laundry mountain

Get some miles in

Drink more water

[Deleted]

I'm letting MIL deal with dying eggs with J.

[niko8083]

DH is gone for work until Thursday evening. So, it's just DD and I here.

Get counter and laundry basket shelf painted in laundry room.

Boil eggs for decorating.

Get ingredients/make 7 layer salad and chocolate cake for family Easter dinner on Saturday.

[emmagk]

Imma let daycare deal with egg decorating

[footloose]

Apr 10, 2017 18:28:04 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Imma let daycare deal with egg decorating

I bought a cute kit last year at Dollarama and bought the plastic eggs. The kit was so easy since it gave you little sponges to dip and then just sponge on the egg. Minimal mess.

I just don't have any time this year. I work every day and Good Friday is my actual day off of course and have to drive up north for 3 hours, eat and drive home 3 hours again and then work on Saturday. Woo hoo. So looking forward to it 😑

[emmagk]

Apr 10, 2017 18:55:11 GMT -5 footloose said:

Apr 10, 2017 18:28:04 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Imma let daycare deal with egg decorating

I bought a cute kit last year at Dollarama and bought the plastic eggs. The kit was so easy since it gave you little sponges to dip and then just sponge on the egg. Minimal mess.

I just don't have any time this year. I work every day and Good Friday is my actual day off of course and have to drive up north for 3 hours, eat and drive home 3 hours again and then work on Saturday. Woo hoo. So looking forward to it 😑

Yeah I just know he won't care about dying eggs and will maybe spend 2 minutes doing it. I might do an egg hunt around the house

[emmygirl]

I told MIL I wanted to do eggs with DD this year... DD and DH went over there yesterday while I was helping my mom with stuff and she sent me a picture of DD dying eggs... DH felt bad after I told him I had wanted to do it and told her.

[activebaby]

Apr 10, 2017 21:42:08 GMT -5 emmygirl said:

I told MIL I wanted to do eggs with DD this year... DD and DH went over there yesterday while I was helping my mom with stuff and she sent me a picture of DD dying eggs... DH felt bad after I told him I had wanted to do it and told her.

My mom does that stuff too. She bought ds his birthday shirt again this year. I told her to stop and he was my kid. She told me she wishes that her parents had cared about her kids. I've heard this so many times that it doesn't really affect me anymore. She told me there would be a lot of time when she was dead so to let her enjoy this. Ugggg

[athn64]

Apr 11, 2017 8:52:09 GMT -5 mary97 said:

Apr 11, 2017 8:43:02 GMT -5 activebaby said:

My mom does that stuff too. She bought ds his birthday shirt again this year. I told her to stop and he was my kid. She told me she wishes that her parents had cared about her kids. I've heard this so many times that it doesn't really affect me anymore. She told me there would be a lot of time when she was dead so to let her enjoy this. Ugggg

I bet you she'd be pissed if her mom did this stuff to her when you were little.  She just wants to relive the fun moments she had with her kids.  We have this with SIL.  I think she looks at DD as her chance to relive the moments she had with her kids who are now grown.  

My mom bought DD a dress to wear to a recent event, she was not happy when DD showed up in something else.  She never asked if I bought something, if I care if she'd buy it, nothing just assumed.  My kid, already had something planned for her to wear.

My mom buys stuff for my kids to wear to things all the time but she at least asks if I have something first. She bought the girls easter dresses. But I am ok with it.

I can't imagine how it would feel if she just bought stuff for birthday and holidays etc. Without asking. How presumptuous!

[comicSans]

Apr 11, 2017 9:05:42 GMT -5 athn64 said:

Apr 11, 2017 8:52:09 GMT -5 mary97 said:

I bet you she'd be pissed if her mom did this stuff to her when you were little.  She just wants to relive the fun moments she had with her kids.  We have this with SIL.  I think she looks at DD as her chance to relive the moments she had with her kids who are now grown.  

My mom bought DD a dress to wear to a recent event, she was not happy when DD showed up in something else.  She never asked if I bought something, if I care if she'd buy it, nothing just assumed.  My kid, already had something planned for her to wear.

My mom buys stuff for my kids to wear to things all the time but she at least asks if I have something first. She bought the girls easter dresses. But I am ok with it.

I can't imagine how it would feel if she just bought stuff for birthday and holidays etc. Without asking. How presumptuous!

Mil bought a very Easter appropriate dress for dd last year, but kept saying she just thought it was cute and didn't mean for it to be her Easter dress. I'm not one to dress my kid up on a regular basis so she wore it for Easter. This year she does not have an Easter dress, oops.

We don't really do special shirts for holidays and stuff so that wouldn't bother me, but stealing experiences would piss me off. If emmygirl says she's excited to do eggs, her mil is way out of line jumping in and doing it first. There's a girl in my mom group who's inlaws took her kids to see Santa the day before they were going to a whole Santa village thing. Her oldest is almost too old for Santa so it may have been their last year for it, and then the kids weren't excited for it after seeing Santa already. I can't believe people actually do stuff like that.

[becole]

Apr 11, 2017 9:29:55 GMT -5 comicSans said:

Apr 11, 2017 9:05:42 GMT -5 athn64 said:

My mom buys stuff for my kids to wear to things all the time but she at least asks if I have something first. She bought the girls easter dresses. But I am ok with it.

I can't imagine how it would feel if she just bought stuff for birthday and holidays etc. Without asking. How presumptuous!

Mil bought a very Easter appropriate dress for dd last year, but kept saying she just thought it was cute and didn't mean for it to be her Easter dress. I'm not one to dress my kid up on a regular basis so she wore it for Easter. This year she does not have an Easter dress, oops.

We don't really do special shirts for holidays and stuff so that wouldn't bother me, but stealing experiences would piss me off. If emmygirl says she's excited to do eggs, her mil is way out of line jumping in and doing it first. There's a girl in my mom group who's inlaws took her kids to see Santa the day before they were going to a whole Santa village thing. Her oldest is almost too old for Santa so it may have been their last year for it, and then the kids weren't excited for it after seeing Santa already. I can't believe people actually do stuff like that.

I honestly think they just think it will be so fun to do with the kids, they don't realize it's stealing joy from someone else.

[activebaby]

Or they don't care and think I'm ridiculous. I have to remind myself this is a silly thing to be frustrated over. Someone loves my kids so much.... I still get pissy and tell her, but it could be a worse problem. Also my kid loves my parents - the givers of all the crap in my house.

[emmygirl]

It honestly wouldn't have bothered me if she had said 'oh I got stuff for eggs is that ok?' Or something like that but she's constantly under cutting me and does things out of spite. I asked DD if she wanted to help me with eggs this week and she said she already did it. So I'm not going to. It hurts because MIL would be upset about it too if it happened to her but she's more important i. Her eyes. I'll never win with my MIL and it gets so old. She had her time for those experiences and now it's mine.

[becole]

Have y'all ever tried to be specific about the ways they can help/ things they can buy before an event?
Like I tell my mom, "the kids need swim trunks if you want to buy those, they don't need shoes or I'm buying Easter, etc."
Or for Easter eggs, I took empty eggs to her last weekend, she's going to fill them and bring them back next week and then my H will hide them and they will get to watch the hunt.
Or with Christmas my sister will say I'm getting x Christmas outfits- do you want one or what size- sometimes I don't like what she picks so I'll just say no or coordinate.
My MIL right now is crying because she can't come to Easter. She has shingles and is contagious for 5 weeks and fuck no to giving the baby chicken pox. H was like "cry all you want, but it's still a no."

[Susan0utLoud]

Experience stealing is wrong and I stand up for that with my parents and inlaws. Clothes, though? I just accept them graciously and then do what I want. Mil buys the kids extremely useless clothes (read: dressy, formal) and they generally don't match the season. Most of the time I put it on them, take a picture, send it to her and then change them into what I bought or want them to wear.

My parents are super respectful, inlaws not so much. I'm sure you're shocked. I just roll with it and don't let it ruin things or hurt my feelings.

[bliz1712]

I still harbor feelings about MIL giving Eliza her 1st birthday cake. And what's worse is H was part of it or knew about it. The only reason I was told or informed was because I walked in on them just getting done with it. I was pissed. Mainly for the whole hiding it with the full intention of never telling me. But this is also the MIL that still fed DD1 foods after we specifically told her not to as we were waiting on allergy testing. She just doesn't care.

[bliz1712]

Give me all the free clothes!!! I take full advantage of my SIL being uber picky and not wanting my Mom to buy clothes for my niece. MORE CLOTHES FOR ME!!!!! I've gotten my Mom to a point where she knows my style or things that I like at least which is nice.

[activebaby]

I've given my mother some limits. She ignores them, but I'll be stern if it's something really important. Ex: she thought I should travel for holidays - I said absolutely not. I said don't bring the kids a tent full of balls, she did. I said don't bring that crib you bought second hand that no longer meets safety requirements or I will put it on the road for trash pick up - so she told me I wasn't being very grateful and she would give it to someone who would appreciate it.
So if it's a big deal I will set boundaries. But she does take over some stuff I'd rather her not do sometimes. But she is a great mom.

[lrmrtn]

Luckily my parents don't overstep their bounds. Neither one buys DS clothes unless I specifically say he needs something or if it is something special, like a Thomas t-shirt. They also don't buy big gifts without asking us first (like the tablet for DS's birthday). They also don't live close enough to "steal" experiences and I don't think it would even occur to them to try. I have the opposite problem with my ILs. They give DS the standard check for holidays and his birthday. I'm not ungrateful, but they do it because it requires no effort on their part. And they rarely see DS anyway even though they're not that far away.

[emmagk]

Apr 11, 2017 13:22:05 GMT -5 Susan0utLoud said:

Experience stealing is wrong and I stand up for that with my parents and inlaws. Clothes, though? I just accept them graciously and then do what I want. Mil buys the kids extremely useless clothes (read: dressy, formal) and they generally don't match the season. Most of the time I put it on them, take a picture, send it to her and then change them into what I bought or want them to wear.

My parents are super respectful, inlaws not so much. I'm sure you're shocked. I just roll with it and don't let it ruin things or hurt my feelings.

These are my thought too. I'd be pissed if any of the grandparents took him to see santa or took him on his first train ride or something without asking first but clothes, meh, don't care. But also don't buy special outfits for holidays, so if they do then great we'll put it on. 

[comicSans]

Apr 11, 2017 14:37:06 GMT -5 emmagk said:

Apr 11, 2017 13:22:05 GMT -5 Susan0utLoud said:

Experience stealing is wrong and I stand up for that with my parents and inlaws. Clothes, though? I just accept them graciously and then do what I want. Mil buys the kids extremely useless clothes (read: dressy, formal) and they generally don't match the season. Most of the time I put it on them, take a picture, send it to her and then change them into what I bought or want them to wear.

My parents are super respectful, inlaws not so much. I'm sure you're shocked. I just roll with it and don't let it ruin things or hurt my feelings.

These are my thought too. I'd be pissed if any of the grandparents took him to see santa or took him on his first train ride or something without asking first but clothes, meh, don't care. But also don't buy special outfits for holidays, so if they do then great we'll put it on. 

I think the kicker in both emmygirl's case and the girl I know, is that the mil knew there was a desire or plan in place with the parents and did it anyway. Sending a picture to emmygirl of an activity she was hoping to do with her daughter seems like a super bitch, in your face move. In the other girl's case there is a complicated history of passive aggressive and flat out mean behavior from the inlaws. I really don't get how people can be like that though.

[lrmrtn]

My new goal for the week is to not kill DH or just pack up and leave.

[emmygirl]

Apr 11, 2017 15:33:00 GMT -5 comicSans said:

Apr 11, 2017 14:37:06 GMT -5 emmagk said:

These are my thought too. I'd be pissed if any of the grandparents took him to see santa or took him on his first train ride or something without asking first but clothes, meh, don't care. But also don't buy special outfits for holidays, so if they do then great we'll put it on. 

I think the kicker in both emmygirl's case and the girl I know, is that the mil knew there was a desire or plan in place with the parents and did it anyway. Sending a picture to emmygirl of an activity she was hoping to do with her daughter seems like a super bitch, in your face move. In the other girl's case there is a complicated history of passive aggressive and flat out mean behavior from the inlaws. I really don't get how people can be like that though.

Yeah had I not just got done telling her I wanted to do this I wouldn't have taken it as such a slap to the face but she knew I wanted to do that and went out of her way to do it and make sure I knew they did it. Seems to be her track record lately and does nothing to help her position with me or feelings towards her. I really do try to not let stuff get to me but then will pull stuff like this.

[Doll15]

Apr 11, 2017 16:45:48 GMT -5 lrmrtn said:

My new goal for the week is to not kill DH or just pack up and leave.

I think you need a real break girlfriend. Can you look into a weekend away? Maybe get some perspective or time to reflect, think and decompress?

[emmagk]

Apr 11, 2017 16:53:18 GMT -5 emmygirl said:

Apr 11, 2017 15:33:00 GMT -5 comicSans said:

I think the kicker in both emmygirl's case and the girl I know, is that the mil knew there was a desire or plan in place with the parents and did it anyway. Sending a picture to emmygirl of an activity she was hoping to do with her daughter seems like a super bitch, in your face move. In the other girl's case there is a complicated history of passive aggressive and flat out mean behavior from the inlaws. I really don't get how people can be like that though.

Yeah had I not just got done telling her I wanted to do this I wouldn't have taken it as such a slap to the face but she knew I wanted to do that and went out of her way to do it and make sure I knew they did it. Seems to be her track record lately and does nothing to help her position with me or feelings towards her. I really do try to not let stuff get to me but then will pull stuff like this.

I would definitely be pissed if my MIL did that

[lrmrtn]

Apr 11, 2017 16:55:37 GMT -5 Doll15 said:

Apr 11, 2017 16:45:48 GMT -5 lrmrtn said:

My new goal for the week is to not kill DH or just pack up and leave.

I think you need a real break girlfriend. Can you look into a weekend away? Maybe get some perspective or time to reflect, think and decompress?

I think that's what I need and DH said I could if I wanted. I just have to find time to do it. Work is going to pick up soon and I don't want to spend too much money.