WTF tattoo! I am assured that this is normal, but it peeled and now it's splotchy and the wrong color. I'm freaking out a little bit. I'd like it to look like it did the first day again.
It's completely normal. You can get it touched up but it's never going to look the same as it did the day you got it. When your tattoo is fresh you're looking at it on the top layer of your skin. As it peels, you have new skin that grows over it so you're essentially looking at your tattoo through a layer of skin. MH describes it as looking at your tattoo through a window. When it's fresh, you're seeing the tattoo in front of the window but when it's healed, it's more like looking at it through the window. Hope that makes sense.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
{Spoiler}Thank god I was in the private bathroom - I am bleeding so bad that I had blood going down my thighs just from the little bit of time when I had my tampon out to change it. I had to go to the sink and use wet paper towels to clean myself up. I just want to go home.
I was told to use unscented luriderm (sp) 3 times a day. I feel like washing it that much would dry it out, and I was told to avoid polysporin?? squeakyduck I would call and double check to be sure. Mine didn't peel at all or scab because I kept adding the lotion.
I did call, and sent a picture. I've googled some and I think every artist has different aftercare instructions. Right now, there's really nothing I can do except wait. I think if I need a touch-up I will probably look into different aftercare, since I'm not sure this is working best for me.
Catching up. Your artist gave you good aftercare instructions. I just asked my husband (he's a tattoo artist) about the polysporin and he said that's "old school" but it won't hurt. Aquaphor is okay for the first few days but lotion is fine once its peeled. I personally like to use coconut oil and then switch to lubriderm once it's peeled. But it sounds like it's healing normally so I wouldn't worry. Your artist should have explained all that to you.
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Ugh. That's ridiculous. I'd be genuinely concerned about electing people like this to office -- North Korea makes their own special version of history, too, in case they were wondering.
Post by easilyunamused on Feb 18, 2015 13:00:47 GMT -5
wtf realtor. What is the point in using you? I've emailed you all of the homes we'd like to look at next week and you say only two are available but you don't even say which two. I'm so nervous that we won't even have places to look at when we are there. I wish I had made my own appts. She hasn't even sent us any homes. And she never answers when I call. Only text and email. Ugh!
Edited to add these are rental homes. We aren't looking to buy just yet.
Ugh. That's ridiculous. I'd be genuinely concerned about electing people like this to office -- North Korea makes their own special version of history, too, in case they were wondering.
That's a good point. I'm doubtful that it will actually pass, but just knowing they want to take this opportunity away from the students makes me so mad.
Post by JulietRose on Feb 18, 2015 13:04:35 GMT -5
WTF DH and Parents in Law. His parents are great and live in a different country. But they like to visit his sister and us for a bit. They stayed with his sister for about a year (common in their culture) and stayed with us for 5 weeks, which to me seemed like a nice long visit because I'm not used to it. We decided to establish some ground rules, which include a max 2 month visit a year. That is a compromise between my "a few weeks" and his "4-6 months". When we married it was understood that they wouldn't be visiting often at all, but suddenly they want to be here as long as possible every year. So I wake up to my husband saying....Since my parents are back in the states at my sister's house, we should ask them to visit and they will probably stay longer than the agreed time...WHAT! I mean, seriously? I love his parents, but when they come, they take over and I mean TAKE OVER! Their food, their way, their values, their customs. And after a while I'm like, okay, but this is my house and some things should remain how I like it. Sorry for the long rant. There is such a history to this and its crazy and it pisses me off!
wtf realtor. What is the point in using you? I've emailed you all of the homes we'd like to look at next week and you say only two are available but you don't even say which two. I'm so nervous that we won't even have places to look at when we are there. I wish I had made my own appts. She hasn't even sent us any homes. And she never answers when I call. Only text and email. Ugh!
Edited to add these are rental homes. We aren't looking to buy just yet.
That is super frustrating! Have you thought about switching realtors? If I really wanted to look at a home, I would just make the appointment myself.
wtf realtor. What is the point in using you? I've emailed you all of the homes we'd like to look at next week and you say only two are available but you don't even say which two. I'm so nervous that we won't even have places to look at when we are there. I wish I had made my own appts. She hasn't even sent us any homes. And she never answers when I call. Only text and email. Ugh!
Edited to add these are rental homes. We aren't looking to buy just yet.
I'd definitely be getting a new realtor. That's complete crap.
WTF DH and Parents in Law. His parents are great and live in a different country. But they like to visit his sister and us for a bit. They stayed with his sister for about a year (common in their culture) and stayed with us for 5 weeks, which to me seemed like a nice long visit because I'm not used to it. We decided to establish some ground rules, which include a max 2 month visit a year. That is a compromise between my "a few weeks" and his "4-6 months". When we married it was understood that they wouldn't be visiting often at all, but suddenly they want to be here as long as possible every year. So I wake up to my husband saying....Since my parents are back in the states at my sister's house, we should ask them to visit and they will probably stay longer than the agreed time...WHAT! I mean, seriously? I love his parents, but when they come, they take over and I mean TAKE OVER! Their food, their way, their values, their customs. And after a while I'm like, okay, but this is my house and some things should remain how I like it. Sorry for the long rant. There is such a history to this and its crazy and it pisses me off!
Do you mind sharing what culture or area they are from. Its interesting that they would stay for so long and that is part of their culture. It must be really stressful for you and I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'd be going nuts after about a week let along 4-6 months!
wtf realtor. What is the point in using you? I've emailed you all of the homes we'd like to look at next week and you say only two are available but you don't even say which two. I'm so nervous that we won't even have places to look at when we are there. I wish I had made my own appts. She hasn't even sent us any homes. And she never answers when I call. Only text and email. Ugh!
Edited to add these are rental homes. We aren't looking to buy just yet.
That sucks. Is your area more a rent area or a buy area? I used to live in NYC, which is obviously mostly rentals, so brokers were super helpful. Now I'm in a buy area, and when I first moved and wanted to rent, it was a nightmare - realtors don't touch rentals so it was just me scouring the classifieds. She may be flaking bc it's a rental. Since she hasn't shown you anything that she has "dibs" on, you may want to just find another realtor
Post by shemarie82 on Feb 18, 2015 13:20:33 GMT -5
WTF Managers that cannot manage! My job is HR, not micro managing because you cannot do YOUR job! I don't have time for this BS, but I will sit in while you talk to your department so that I know you don't talk to them like they are idiots.
Post by easilyunamused on Feb 18, 2015 13:22:15 GMT -5
mainewifey,daisy818, JulietRose, I'm thinking it is because we are just looking to rent right now. We only have 2 days to find something. We fly in on Monday and fly out on Tuesday so I thought getting a realtor would be the easiest way. Doesn't seem to be the case. We may just have to contact the people who manage the house ourselves and set appts. Which isn't terrible, just not what I wanted to do right now. Moving out of state is too much work! Lol
WTF DH and Parents in Law. His parents are great and live in a different country. But they like to visit his sister and us for a bit. They stayed with his sister for about a year (common in their culture) and stayed with us for 5 weeks, which to me seemed like a nice long visit because I'm not used to it. We decided to establish some ground rules, which include a max 2 month visit a year. That is a compromise between my "a few weeks" and his "4-6 months". When we married it was understood that they wouldn't be visiting often at all, but suddenly they want to be here as long as possible every year. So I wake up to my husband saying....Since my parents are back in the states at my sister's house, we should ask them to visit and they will probably stay longer than the agreed time...WHAT! I mean, seriously? I love his parents, but when they come, they take over and I mean TAKE OVER! Their food, their way, their values, their customs. And after a while I'm like, okay, but this is my house and some things should remain how I like it. Sorry for the long rant. There is such a history to this and its crazy and it pisses me off!
Do you mind sharing what culture or area they are from. Its interesting that they would stay for so long and that is part of their culture. It must be really stressful for you and I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'd be going nuts after about a week let along 4-6 months!
They are Indian and their caste (which they say doesn't matter anymore, which is totally incorrect) has them extremely attached to their kids. They were very upset that their only son married me...an American. So my husband, who is very westernized and not many know he is not born here (because he has no accent and fits in so well), married me because he wasn't interested in marrying because of an arrangement, but would rather marry for love. So that caused sooooo much drama for a year and a half when we first started dating. He isn't that interested in them visiting for long, but to him not long was that 4-6 months, especially to try and repair his relationship. Now that his parents have met me they absolutely love me and want to visit more and are very accepting. But when they visit, my husband and I cannot show too much affection and I'm limited to their vegetarian diet (I'm a meat eater) and no meat is allowed in my house and I have to dress more conservatively. If we tell them they cannot visit for more than 2 months, then they get upset and say they won't visit at all because their time is then limited and they don't have the feeling of freedom to come and go whenever they want in their son's house. In his family, the son's parents stay with the son and he takes care of them. That's not happening and my husband and I are trying really hard to maintain a really good relationship, but with boundaries that I'm comfortable with. It is becoming more and more common with the new generation from his culture that the kids aren't interesting in maintaining the traditions of the parents so strictly and this causes some tension.
I did call, and sent a picture. I've googled some and I think every artist has different aftercare instructions. Right now, there's really nothing I can do except wait. I think if I need a touch-up I will probably look into different aftercare, since I'm not sure this is working best for me.
Catching up. Your artist gave you good aftercare instructions. I just asked my husband (he's a tattoo artist) about the polysporin and he said that's "old school" but it won't hurt. Aquaphor is okay for the first few days but lotion is fine once its peeled. I personally like to use coconut oil and then switch to lubriderm once it's peeled. But it sounds like it's healing normally so I wouldn't worry. Your artist should have explained all that to you.
I agree. You're artist should have really explained in detail what was going to happen.
I had a different aftercare from the parlor I went to because, like you said, it seems to vary artist to artist, but she explained it very in depth about why tsge chose that route and what was going to happen to the tattoo as it healed.
WTF DH and Parents in Law. His parents are great and live in a different country. But they like to visit his sister and us for a bit. They stayed with his sister for about a year (common in their culture) and stayed with us for 5 weeks, which to me seemed like a nice long visit because I'm not used to it. We decided to establish some ground rules, which include a max 2 month visit a year. That is a compromise between my "a few weeks" and his "4-6 months". When we married it was understood that they wouldn't be visiting often at all, but suddenly they want to be here as long as possible every year. So I wake up to my husband saying....Since my parents are back in the states at my sister's house, we should ask them to visit and they will probably stay longer than the agreed time...WHAT! I mean, seriously? I love his parents, but when they come, they take over and I mean TAKE OVER! Their food, their way, their values, their customs. And after a while I'm like, okay, but this is my house and some things should remain how I like it. Sorry for the long rant. There is such a history to this and its crazy and it pisses me off!
Oh, I'd be livid. Even if I was okay with a long visit, I'd be pissed that my husband made an agreement with me and then went back on that agreement, putting me in the position of being the one saying no. Luckily I married a guy who lived here his whole life and is largely estranged from his less-than-stable family. I'm a very "Houseguests are like fish" kind of person except for exceptional circumstances for close family (eg, my mom stayed with me for almost 3 weeks once because she had come to the city where I was visiting to see a gyn oncologist to do surgery and run tests, and then she had to recover before returning home).
JulietRose, you are very understanding to accept their cultural practices into your home! I can see why your H wants to rebuild but that's a really long time to have to put up with inlaws!!
WTF DH and Parents in Law. His parents are great and live in a different country. But they like to visit his sister and us for a bit. They stayed with his sister for about a year (common in their culture) and stayed with us for 5 weeks, which to me seemed like a nice long visit because I'm not used to it. We decided to establish some ground rules, which include a max 2 month visit a year. That is a compromise between my "a few weeks" and his "4-6 months". When we married it was understood that they wouldn't be visiting often at all, but suddenly they want to be here as long as possible every year. So I wake up to my husband saying....Since my parents are back in the states at my sister's house, we should ask them to visit and they will probably stay longer than the agreed time...WHAT! I mean, seriously? I love his parents, but when they come, they take over and I mean TAKE OVER! Their food, their way, their values, their customs. And after a while I'm like, okay, but this is my house and some things should remain how I like it. Sorry for the long rant. There is such a history to this and its crazy and it pisses me off!
Oh, I'd be livid. Even if I was okay with a long visit, I'd be pissed that my husband made an agreement with me and then went back on that agreement, putting me in the position of being the one saying no. Luckily I married a guy who lived here his whole life and is largely estranged from his less-than-stable family. I'm a very "Houseguests are like fish" kind of person except for exceptional circumstances for close family (eg, my mom stayed with me for almost 3 weeks once because she had come to the city where I was visiting to see a gyn oncologist to do surgery and run tests, and then she had to recover before returning home).
I use that same line of the Houseguests are like fish! Yep, that's why we had an argument this morning and he totally retracted and is going to re-negotiate the terms with them. lol I feel bad for him sometimes because he is stuck between two very different viewpoints and has to navigate his way through them without upsetting either party. He knew what he was getting into when he married me, but we both didn't expect it to happen this much and this soon. He does a very good job, but this morning was a blip. Is your husband from a different culture/family background too?
Do you mind ]They are Indian and their caste (which they say doesn't matter anymore, which is totally incorrect) has them extremely attached to their kids. They were very upset that their only son married me...an American. So my husband, who is very westernized and not many know he is not born here (because he has no accent and fits in so well), married me because he wasn't interested in marrying because of an arrangement, but would rather marry for love. So that caused sooooo much drama for a year and a half when we first started dating. He isn't that interested in them visiting for long, but to him not long was that 4-6 months, especially to try and repair his relationship. Now that his parents have met me they absolutely love me and want to visit more and are very accepting. But when they visit, my husband and I cannot show too much affection and I'm limited to their vegetarian diet (I'm a meat eater) and no meat is allowed in my house and I have to dress more conservatively. If we tell them they cannot visit for more than 2 months, then they get upset and say they won't visit at all because their time is then limited and they don't have the feeling of freedom to come and go whenever they want in their son's house. In his family, the son's parents stay with the son and he takes care of them. That's not happening and my husband and I are trying really hard to maintain a really good relationship, but with boundaries that I'm comfortable with. It is becoming more and more common with the new generation from his culture that the kids aren't interesting in maintaining the traditions of the parents so strictly and this causes some tension.
Ahhhh that explains everything. One of best friends growing up was Indian. It was an interesting mix of modern meets traditional. Her grandparents lived with the family and were very involved in the day to day operation of the household. I also had an ex colleague who was married but lived with his parents. He handed over his entire paycheck every week to his father who would decide how to distribute the money. He wasn't a young irresponsible kid but a man in his mid thirties with children of his own. I dont know your living situation but is there anyway you could make up an in law suite for them? That way they could maintain their feeling of independence without over taking your home.
JulietRose, you are very understanding to accept their cultural practices into your home! I can see why your H wants to rebuild but that's a really long time to have to put up with inlaws!!
I agree. I think it's fantastic that you have a good enough relationship to have them stay for so long. It would not go over well if either of our parents had to stay with us that long!
In saying that, maybe both you and your husband just need to stand up more and make it known that it is your house and your rules? They (parents) are used to being in charge right? So it's probably a tough adjustment for them too.
That sucks. Is your area more a rent area or a buy area? I used to live in NYC, which is obviously mostly rentals, so brokers were super helpful. Now I'm in a buy area, and when I first moved and wanted to rent, it was a nightmare - realtors don't touch rentals so it was just me scouring the classifieds. She may be flaking bc it's a rental. Since she hasn't shown you anything that she has "dibs" on, you may want to just find another realtor
Seconding daisy818 on this. If you're not in Boston/NY/SF, it might be best for you to scour the rental market yourself. I am currently looking for a new rental and it's a ton of work, but I also find that most rentals are posted online (albeit on many different websites) and why pay a realtor if they aren't going to hustle for you?
You could always do the thing where you look at listings yourself, and if there's something that looks really good and the landlord/manager won't call you back, you could then hire a realtor for half a day or something to try to get them to call or make the contact for you.
ETA: Just saw that you only have a couple days to find a place! Can you find a sublet or an Airbnb for a month or so while you look for a more permanent place?
Unfortunately we can't sublet. We are driving there with a full u haul. This area is mostly rentals I think. It's a pretty transient place.
Ahhhh that explains everything. One of best friends growing up was Indian. It was an interesting mix of modern meets traditional. Her grandparents lived with the family and were very involved in the day to day operation of the household. I also had an ex colleague who was married but lived with his parents. He handed over his entire paycheck every week to his father who would decide how to distribute the money. He wasn't a young irresponsible kid but a man in his mid thirties with children of his own. I dont know your living situation but is there anyway you could make up an in law suite for them? That way they could maintain their feeling of independence without over taking your home.
We would if we had enough room. It's a great idea though!
Oh, I'd be livid. Even if I was okay with a long visit, I'd be pissed that my husband made an agreement with me and then went back on that agreement, putting me in the position of being the one saying no. Luckily I married a guy who lived here his whole life and is largely estranged from his less-than-stable family. I'm a very "Houseguests are like fish" kind of person except for exceptional circumstances for close family (eg, my mom stayed with me for almost 3 weeks once because she had come to the city where I was visiting to see a gyn oncologist to do surgery and run tests, and then she had to recover before returning home).
I use that same line of the Houseguests are like fish! Yep, that's why we had an argument this morning and he totally retracted and is going to re-negotiate the terms with them. lol I feel bad for him sometimes because he is stuck between two very different viewpoints and has to navigate his way through them without upsetting either party. He knew what he was getting into when he married me, but we both didn't expect it to happen this much and this soon. He does a very good job, but this morning was a blip. Is your husband from a different culture/family background too?
My DH is not, but a fairly serious BF of mine way back when was Sri Lankan. I think that his parents were kind of okay with me being white, but really hated that I was Catholic. His mom always talked about my "child molester" church. I once (unintentionally) gave her a nasty look when she was going on and on about this, and my name was not allowed to be said in their house for about a year. Very happy that relationship didn't work out - dodged a crazy train MIL and got to marry the best guy in the world instead! When I was reading your original post I was guessing he was South Asian. Glad he's coming around - I can sympathize with him being torn, but in my opinion at this stage in life spouse has to trump parents.
Post by easilyunamused on Feb 18, 2015 13:40:13 GMT -5
That's frustrating JulietRose. I don't think I'd like my in laws living with me for that long either. And we get along great. It isn't fair for you to have to succumb to their rules in your house. Good luck!
JulietRose, you are very understanding to accept their cultural practices into your home! I can see why your H wants to rebuild but that's a really long time to have to put up with inlaws!!
I agree. I think it's fantastic that you have a good enough relationship to have them stay for so long. It would not go over well if either of our parents had to stay with us that long!
In saying that, maybe both you and your husband just need to stand up more and make it known that it is your house and your rules? They (parents) are used to being in charge right? So it's probably a tough adjustment for them too.
I really agree with you saying we should stand up more. The problem is, when we do, they get really offended and have threatened to not communicate or visit, which is super hard on my husband. I don't want him to lose his parents, so we try work our way around it in a way where they think they're making the decision, when it is in fact us. It gets hard because they are such nice, sweet people and they don't do this to be rude. They are just so entrenched in their belief of family that it is hard for them to become accustomed to an entirely new way.
I agree. I think it's fantastic that you have a good enough relationship to have them stay for so long. It would not go over well if either of our parents had to stay with us that long!
In saying that, maybe both you and your husband just need to stand up more and make it known that it is your house and your rules? They (parents) are used to being in charge right? So it's probably a tough adjustment for them too.
I really agree with you saying we should stand up more. The problem is, when we do, they get really offended and have threatened to not communicate or visit, which is super hard on my husband. I don't want him to lose his parents, so we try work our way around it in a way where they think they're making the decision, when it is in fact us. It gets hard because they are such nice, sweet people and they don't do this to be rude. They are just so entrenched in their belief of family that it is hard for them to become accustomed to an entirely new way.
That has to be incredibly difficult. My husbands parents have done the same thing- but his are just assholes (Whoops!)
Cultures and beliefs are completely understandable. There has to be a happy medium? I really hope it all works out for you.
I agree. I think it's fantastic that you have a good enough relationship to have them stay for so long. It would not go over well if either of our parents had to stay with us that long!
In saying that, maybe both you and your husband just need to stand up more and make it known that it is your house and your rules? They (parents) are used to being in charge right? So it's probably a tough adjustment for them too.
I really agree with you saying we should stand up more. The problem is, when we do, they get really offended and have threatened to not communicate or visit, which is super hard on my husband. I don't want him to lose his parents, so we try work our way around it in a way where they think they're making the decision, when it is in fact us. It gets hard because they are such nice, sweet people and they don't do this to be rude. They are just so entrenched in their belief of family that it is hard for them to become accustomed to an entirely new way.
My MIL threatend that at one point and my husband called her on her shit. Until he stopped talking to her at all for various other reasons,she never followed through with those threats. It's manipulative bullshit, and you shouldn't have to put up with that.
Eta: It's also odd that they are so gung ho about family that if they don't get their way, they will cut you out? Fuck that noise.
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