I start the bedtime routine with the baby around 6:45, he's down for the count by 7:10ish. Bedtime routine with the big starts about 7:30 and he's down by 8-8:15.
Post by Martinis&Medicine on May 4, 2017 9:28:19 GMT -5
The subject of sleep makes me bitter and sad. C goes to bed around 9. Then he's up every 30-60 minutes. Sometimes I'm lucky and I get a night with 2-3 hours in between wakeups. He isn't waking because he's hungry. He just wakes up angry and needs help going back to sleep and I don't know WTF to do anymore. He also won't sleep alone. For naps or nighttime.
The subject of sleep makes me bitter and sad. C goes to bed around 9. Then he's up every 30-60 minutes. Sometimes I'm lucky and I get a night with 2-3 hours in between wakeups. He isn't waking because he's hungry. He just wakes up angry and needs help going back to sleep and I don't know WTF to do anymore. He also won't sleep alone. For naps or nighttime.
Hey there! Sorry to hear of the sleep struggles. My situation was not this bad and I was losing my mind. I know it's not for everyone, but we did finally consistently go through with sleep training and it has helped immensely. If you need any help with that, let us know. But I hope it resolved somehow for you soon. Terrible sleep is the absolute worst.
The subject of sleep makes me bitter and sad. C goes to bed around 9. Then he's up every 30-60 minutes. Sometimes I'm lucky and I get a night with 2-3 hours in between wakeups. He isn't waking because he's hungry. He just wakes up angry and needs help going back to sleep and I don't know WTF to do anymore. He also won't sleep alone. For naps or nighttime.
Hey there! Sorry to hear of the sleep struggles. My situation was not this bad and I was losing my mind. I know it's not for everyone, but we did finally consistently go through with sleep training and it has helped immensely. If you need any help with that, let us know. But I hope it resolved somehow for you soon. Terrible sleep is the absolute worst.
I want to do something but i don't want to do CIO (maybe I could try letting him cry/fuss while I'm next to him, but not holding him?). I don't know. I just know that I haven't slept longer than 3 hours in 6 months and I can't keep going like this. I'm open to advice.
Hey there! Sorry to hear of the sleep struggles. My situation was not this bad and I was losing my mind. I know it's not for everyone, but we did finally consistently go through with sleep training and it has helped immensely. If you need any help with that, let us know. But I hope it resolved somehow for you soon. Terrible sleep is the absolute worst.
I want to do something but i don't want to do CIO (maybe I could try letting him cry/fuss while I'm next to him, but not holding him?). I don't know. I just know that I haven't slept longer than 3 hours in 6 months and I can't keep going like this. I'm open to advice.
That situation sounds exhausting and unsustainable. I posted some info on Ferber- that's the method I prefer and I also think his thoughts on sleep explain very well that the "crying" is a means to an end goal. That end goal is what is important so that might mean different methods for different situations. Are you nursing or rocking to sleep each time? What is your goal? Do you want baby to sleep in his own bed, in your bed with you? Do you want to still wake to feed or drop night feeds altogether. What happens with naps? Is it the same- rocking, etc? When you lay him down is he awake or asleep? Does he ever put himself to sleep? These questions are all important to think about before picking a strategy and beginning.
Martinis&Medicine - To answer your question - Yes, you should let the baby fuss with you nearby, but not holding him. He needs to get used to not having your physical intervention to get to sleep. I do recommend the Ferber method, but it does typically involve crying. And two of my kids got even more pissed if DH or I entered the room, so those kids ended up CIO and within a couple of days were STTN.
Hey there! Sorry to hear of the sleep struggles. My situation was not this bad and I was losing my mind. I know it's not for everyone, but we did finally consistently go through with sleep training and it has helped immensely. If you need any help with that, let us know. But I hope it resolved somehow for you soon. Terrible sleep is the absolute worst.
I want to do something but i don't want to do CIO (maybe I could try letting him cry/fuss while I'm next to him, but not holding him?). I don't know. I just know that I haven't slept longer than 3 hours in 6 months and I can't keep going like this. I'm open to advice.
We did ferber for the first few nights which is letting them cry in the crib, but you get to go in every minutes and console for a few seconds without picking them up. It still sucks. I've heard of one where you let them cry while you are in the room each night increasing your distance from them (sleep lady shuffle maybe?). There's so many options out there. I think the main thing is figure out what the sleep crutches are and work on removing them however slow or fast you can tolerate. So nursing, rocking, binky, anything that's happening when they fall asleep that won't be there when they wake any time later. becole did post super helpful ferber stuff.
Post by Martinis&Medicine on May 4, 2017 14:18:13 GMT -5
becolesanibel21jwinct Thanks for your replies, guys! I will look into/try some of those suggestions. Right now we nurse to sleep, unless he doesn't want to nurse and then he usually cries until he wants to nurse then we go to sleep. Once in a great while he will roll around and put himself to sleep while I'm right there with him, but it's not very often. Naps usually involve me nursing him to sleep and then trying to lay him down and ninja away. Sometimes he'll stay asleep but even then he'll only stay asleep for 10 minutes. Our goal is for him to be in his own room by 1 year.
becolesanibel21jwinct Thanks for your replies, guys! I will look into/try some of those suggestions. Right now we nurse to sleep, unless he doesn't want to nurse and then he usually cries until he wants to nurse then we go to sleep. Once in a great while he will roll around and put himself to sleep while I'm right there with him, but it's not very often. Naps usually involve me nursing him to sleep and then trying to lay him down and ninja away. Sometimes he'll stay asleep but even then he'll only stay asleep for 10 minutes. Our goal is for him to be in his own room by 1 year.
I would imagine that he has gotten used to nursing to sleep and touching you. If he wakes up and you're not there- that's scary- because you were there when he fell asleep. He's also angry you left and he didn't know. The goal is to nurse but instead of ninja out of the room, put him in his bed and let him learn how to fall to sleep. That might mean you pat him, or talk to him across the room, or play music and leave the room. He probably will protest. He would much prefer to nurse and hold you, which is not working for either of you. Ferber explains that everyone goes in and out of sleep cycles but if your body perceives everything is "safe" and the same, you will go into the next sleep cycle without actually waking. What's happening with your son is that something has changed from when he fell asleep. So his body is perceiving that change and waking up fully, when he normally should just stay asleep. His sleep cycles are also probably shorter because he is not getting a lot of rest during the day or night- over tired messes with our natural sleep cycles, which is why his are so short. You may not be comfortable with crying and checks, but honestly- that's just a super quick fix. Babies are fast learners. Once he's learning to put himself to sleep, his daytime sleep will improve and his sleep cycles will be longer. So he might still wake once to eat, but no more of this every 30 minutes thing. He's exhausted. You're exhausted. You both need better rest. I hope you find something works for you.
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