cateyes - If we decline the eye ointment and/or vitamin K shot, the hospital policy is to call DCFS. You might want to check on your hospital policy just so you're aware.
That's a state by state policy. We are good here I work for DCFS
Great list, cateyes! Out of curiosity, is your doctor/midwife OK with you not doing eye ointment at all? Ours are only comfortable delaying it.
A little bit of a funny story about the bag of waters - with my son, the on call doctor said "I'm going to break your water now" and I said "no thank you - it states in our birth preferences that we want it to break on its own" and she seriously rolled her eyes at me. About two minutes later, right before crowning, my water breaks on its own and literally shoots like a flood of water across the room, such that the nurses jumped a bit With both of my kids, it broke right before they popped out.
Also, on the drinks/snacks front - my plan with my first labor was also to eat and drink in case it was a long haul. But my body decided that it needs to completely clean itself out during labor. Like, on both ends So I wasn't able to keep anything down - even sips of water - while laboring. I'm glad I made it clear that I wanted to option, though, in case my body reacted differently or in case it was a long labor and I needed some sustenance. But I guess everything coming out first means that maybe I didn't poop on the table (not that anyone brought it up either time)!
They try to "help us lean towards getting it" but respect our wishes. There really is no point in getting it unless you are at risk with certain STDs. It isn't proven to actually be effective against general bacteria
I didn't have a birth plan with DD and don't plan to write one this time either. But I am very lucky in that a lot of things that you guys have included in your plans are standard policies with my group of doctors and the hospital they deliver at. My plan is to have a baby in whatever way my doctor recommends is safest and healthiest for me and baby! I plan on getting an epidural, but other than that I do not have any plans.
Our hospital standards include: delayed cord clamping, delayed newborn testing, immediate skin to skin, in room with mother 24/7 (unless medically emergency), only breastmilk (unless medically necessary), no pacifiers, meeting with a lactation consultant before discharge. This is what I can think of off the top of my head.
My doctors are also very minimal on interventions. They asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I pushed for 3 hours before they offered to intervene (we went with episiotomy and forceps). DD had some complications as soon as she was born and the special care staff rushed into our room during the final push. They stabilized her in the room and then I still got to do skin to skin and breastfeed while they stitched me up.
Oh, and our preference is that no one is in the waiting room. This didn't happen with DD....both sets of grandparents were there. But we didn't invite them back until 2+ hours after she was born.
I totally agree with you about the people in the waiting room. We also tried this with #1, but because of how long I pushed, we had both sets of grandparents there. My mother and MIL were literally awful - trying to sneak in the room, asking the nurses to get an update from me. I can remember mid-push a nurse walked in and said "We have some very anxious grandmothers out there who would like an update?" I about threw my phone at her head. So, after DD was born, we enjoyed that hour with her and didn't call down for them until DD was brought down the nursery for some tests.
cateyes - If we decline the eye ointment and/or vitamin K shot, the hospital policy is to call DCFS. You might want to check on your hospital policy just so you're aware.
That's a state by state policy. We are good here I work for DCFS
I figured it varied by state or hospital even. You've got it down since you work for them!
Oh, and our preference is that no one is in the waiting room. This didn't happen with DD....both sets of grandparents were there. But we didn't invite them back until 2+ hours after she was born.
Same here. Both our families are out of state so less worry about them randomly showing up. I flat out told mine they weren't welcome to come visit until after the first week. H gets only one week off and that was the one thing he asked for.
lulu783 - I can't believe the nurse asked you that! Not important! We're going to have to set expectations with my family about updates. Right now I'm thinking they'll get texted when I'm sure I'm in labor, when we head to the hospital, and when baby is here. I told H his job is to help me, not update people.
yeah definitely no one in the waiting room. i'll ask my doula to make sure they're getting an update if labor is longer than 12 hours (like hey everyone is fine, still at it!) bc they were all super worried last time, but that's all they get. haha.
Post by lotsoflotts on Apr 27, 2017 8:43:35 GMT -5
With DS, I didn't want to be getting loads of text messages or requests for updates, so DH put together a private Facebook group and basically did real time updates for any of our friends/family who wanted to know what was happening. The doctor thought it was pretty ridiculous, but I love being able to look back at the progression of things! Plus, my phone wasn't going off the whole time and DH was able to read me notes of encouragement from everyone when things weren't going as I had hoped. He even put up occasional pictures and had a poll running on the birth weight I didn't feel like it a distraction at all, DH was still there when I needed him. The plan is to do this again, although I'm sure it will look different since I'm using midwives at a birth center instead of a hospital. So no continuous monitoring or frequent cervical checks.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on Apr 27, 2017 9:05:09 GMT -5
lulu783 that makes me think of how movies are so absurd when they do birth scenes. Like in knocked up when the friend just busts into the delivery room as the baby is coming out.
I know that it's for entertainment but there's no way that would happen in real life, at least not in my hospital. If my mom could have done that, she would have!
lulu783 that makes me think of how movies are so absurd when they do birth scenes. Like in knocked up when the friend just busts into the delivery room as the baby is coming out.
I know that it's for entertainment but there's no way that would happen in real life, at least not in my hospital. If my mom could have done that, she would have!
The hospital we're at has multiple levels of security, so I cannot see that happening. I told H I'm more open to my family hanging out in the waiting room if we're local to them for the next kid (assuming we have more than one). But then the rules are still similar: No updates from us, you cannot come back until we say so, which will be after we've had as long as we want on our own. And they have to get out after a short time. I have a feeling all that will be easier for them to swallow since we've kept them away for this one's birth.
lulu783 that makes me think of how movies are so absurd when they do birth scenes. Like in knocked up when the friend just busts into the delivery room as the baby is coming out.
I know that it's for entertainment but there's no way that would happen in real life, at least not in my hospital. If my mom could have done that, she would have!
Right?! My MIL is friends with a nurse who works at the hospital I deliver at so she was trying to use her name to get back to the L&D rooms! She's over the top in every aspect of her life though, so it was no surprise.
I didn't have a birth plan with DD and don't plan to write one this time either. But I am very lucky in that a lot of things that you guys have included in your plans are standard policies with my group of doctors and the hospital they deliver at. My plan is to have a baby in whatever way my doctor recommends is safest and healthiest for me and baby! I plan on getting an epidural, but other than that I do not have any plans.
Our hospital standards include: delayed cord clamping, delayed newborn testing, immediate skin to skin, in room with mother 24/7 (unless medically emergency), only breastmilk (unless medically necessary), no pacifiers, meeting with a lactation consultant before discharge. This is what I can think of off the top of my head.
My doctors are also very minimal on interventions. They asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I pushed for 3 hours before they offered to intervene (we went with episiotomy and forceps). DD had some complications as soon as she was born and the special care staff rushed into our room during the final push. They stabilized her in the room and then I still got to do skin to skin and breastfeed while they stitched me up.
This. I've seen too many things go wrong. Get my baby out safe and do what you need to do to keep him that way. That's whats important! I'm smart enough to know when certain interventions aren't necessary during L&D but I know and trust that my OB wouldn't do anything unless it was necessary. If there is one thing I learned from DD's delivery is that things rarely go as planned...so I don't have one.
I didn't have a birth plan with DD and don't plan to write one this time either. But I am very lucky in that a lot of things that you guys have included in your plans are standard policies with my group of doctors and the hospital they deliver at. My plan is to have a baby in whatever way my doctor recommends is safest and healthiest for me and baby! I plan on getting an epidural, but other than that I do not have any plans.
Our hospital standards include: delayed cord clamping, delayed newborn testing, immediate skin to skin, in room with mother 24/7 (unless medically emergency), only breastmilk (unless medically necessary), no pacifiers, meeting with a lactation consultant before discharge. This is what I can think of off the top of my head.
My doctors are also very minimal on interventions. They asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I pushed for 3 hours before they offered to intervene (we went with episiotomy and forceps). DD had some complications as soon as she was born and the special care staff rushed into our room during the final push. They stabilized her in the room and then I still got to do skin to skin and breastfeed while they stitched me up.
This. I've seen too many things go wrong. Get my baby out safe and do what you need to do to keep him that way. That's whats important! I'm smart enough to know when certain interventions aren't necessary during L&D but I know and trust that my OB wouldn't do anything unless it was necessary. If there is one thing I learned from DD's delivery is that things rarely go as planned...so I don't have one.
My "plan" is definitely actually *preferences* because of exactly this. The only true plan is healthy mom, healthy baby. The rest is what would be nice if things are going optimally. If I have options and choices, then I have them written down and ready. If I don't because there are medical issues, I won't be heartbroken.
RCS here. I didn't have a birth plan for C. Which is good because it would have all gone out the window anyways. That's what happens when you're told at 36+1 to head into L&D because of a medical issue. Induction failed after roughly 36 hours, but waters had started leaking so c-section it was. I was given the option to try for VBAC, I opted out. I know I will go in, have c-section. They will do all vitals and whatnot for baby right away (in OR) and then place her on my chest. (The vitals literally only took a couple of minutes. I will do skin to skin as long as I can (with C I requested for a nurse or DH to take him after 15/20 minutes because I was getting super sleepy) while they do the tubal litigation and stitch me back up. In the recovery room (in there for about 2 hours) we will nurse and she will get whatever else done that they need to do. After the 2 hours we move floors and head downstairs for the next 2 1/2 days. No family will be coming in the 1st day. I've told both moms this and they are fine with it. The second day grandparents will bring C, DH will get him from waiting room and bring him in to meet baby sister. After a while we will let grandparents come in to meet her. Only DHs parents and my mom knew when I went in for C. We didn't tell anyone else because I didn't want a million calls/texts the entire time. He was born on Sunday morning and I announced his arrival on social media and to close friends on Monday evening. (Sunday just before I went in for my c-section I let my dad know what was going on. He is 8-9 hours away and I didn't want to worry him too much.) as of right now the only people I've told my scheduled c-section date to are those who we will need to help with C. (So my mom and in-laws, and my dad incase he wanted to try and make it back for her birth.) I don't plan on saying anything on social media or telling close friends even until the day after her arrival.
I'm sure it's mostly because I got lucky, but both of my births (including the one of the baby with medical issues) went pretty ideally and I was able to use all of my birth preferences. And I think having thought them out and considered various options ahead of time, and having them written down and communicated, helped with that. I actually haven't had my doctor present at either birth because of timing/the necessity of having high risk OBs at DS's birth, so I couldn't just trust that the doctors knew my preferences and we were on the same page. I know a lot of women who felt like they were bullied into various interventions and had a negative experience because of it.
I compared it to running a marathon a bit - I did lots of prep, but had no idea what the weather was going to be like that day, or how exactly my body was going to feel, etc .
Post by trebletrouble13 on Apr 27, 2017 15:16:59 GMT -5
For the most part I had everything I wanted with DS. The things that did not go as planned/desired were using the vacuum and not having delayed cord clamping (which is hospital policy!). My delivering OB was new to the area and hospital and was not familiar with their policies. He (and I) didn't know that there was a 10-minute timer that started when he started using he vacuum. Fortunately I was able to beat the clock and deliver before the 10 minutes was up. He also clamped the cord almost immediately, which threw me for a loop. Not much I could do at that point... I am going to make sure to express my preferences clearly this time in case the doctor is a noob.
Show up for scheduled c section. Dh stays with baby at all times. He also does skin to skin with the baby until we meet up in recovery. I do skin to skin and breastfeed while in recovery. Once we're back in our room and get situated my mom will bring C in to meet her sister and I'm sure I'll bawl my eyes out.
another thing that feels relevant - i spent SO MUCH TIME thinking about the birth with DD1, and not as much time preparing myself for what life would be like with a newborn. maybe it's just that you can't really prepare? i mean i read happiest baby on the block and the womanly art of breastfeeding (i just typed breakfast), but i felt like i didn't know anything. i remember feeling particularly clueless about baby sleep...like i knew they were commonly up all night and needed to eat around the clock, but i didn't know that i was supposed to encourage sleep after really short windows of awake time when they're tiny.
sdlaura ah yes i have referenced that chart MANY times! haha. we got by with just letting her sleep when she wanted to until the 3.5ish month mark and then it was crazy town. i guess the 4 month regression. hopefully i have a better handle on that this time!
sdlaura ah yes i have referenced that chart MANY times! haha. we got by with just letting her sleep when she wanted to until the 3.5ish month mark and then it was crazy town. i guess the 4 month regression. hopefully i have a better handle on that this time!
Yeah I got lucky with DD that she was a fabulous sleeper and just put herself to sleep when she got tired most of the time (in fact, she still does , but I was glad to have her sleep as an example for DS, who was much more of a mess at the beginning when it came to sleep.
sdlaura well that's amazing. DD is a fantastic sleeper given her preferred environment (pitch black room, sound machine, cool, her own pillow, and almost zero noise other than sound machine). so when we're at home, it's great. otherwise...we have problems. ha. i'll take the trade (good sleeper for complicated setup) all day, but we definitely had to jump through hoops to get her sleeping.
agm04 both kids have had to nap at daycare/preschool since 3.5 months old, so I think that helped with them sleeping in other environments. But I am a sleep nut at home. We never do anything during naptime on weekends - we have to be home by 1 pm so that they can sleep in their own dark rooms with sound machines, and it only happens like once or twice a year on a special occasion that we'll stay out much past their normal bedtime. I'm more lax on vacations but still spend a lot of time thinking about sleeping environment I need that weekend nap when we're at home to relax myself!
I was also blessed with a good sleeper (again, I think birth weight really helped us out in that department), but I did try to loosely follow the Babywise schedule. I don't agree with their reasoning or methods, but I did find the schedule of wake, play, eat, sleep and the timetable they suggested really helpful and we followed it for the most part in those early days. DD STTN (with a dream feed) from 8 weeks-6 months. It was awesome.
lulu783 I know Babywise gets a bad reputation because some idiots were sticking to it so religiously they weren't feeding their babies enough, but the general concepts make tons of sense.
I didn't have a birth plan with DD and don't plan to write one this time either. But I am very lucky in that a lot of things that you guys have included in your plans are standard policies with my group of doctors and the hospital they deliver at. My plan is to have a baby in whatever way my doctor recommends is safest and healthiest for me and baby! I plan on getting an epidural, but other than that I do not have any plans.
Our hospital standards include: delayed cord clamping, delayed newborn testing, immediate skin to skin, in room with mother 24/7 (unless medically emergency), only breastmilk (unless medically necessary), no pacifiers, meeting with a lactation consultant before discharge. This is what I can think of off the top of my head.
My doctors are also very minimal on interventions. They asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation. I pushed for 3 hours before they offered to intervene (we went with episiotomy and forceps). DD had some complications as soon as she was born and the special care staff rushed into our room during the final push. They stabilized her in the room and then I still got to do skin to skin and breastfeed while they stitched me up.
My hospital has similar policies because they have the baby friendly certification. I didn't write a birth plan with my first, just healthy mom and baby and it went well. I chose to get an epidural at 8 cm, had a single vacuum assisted push at the end and got her out safely. We got immediate skin to skin for an hour "the golden hour with only parents allowed " before they weighed her and then we moved to the mom and baby room. She roomed in with us, they don't have a nursery anymore. I did choose to have the hep B, vitamin k, and eye ointment as recommended because science. It was a great experience.
This time, I am doing hypnobabies so there will be a difference with that if it goes well! So hopefully no epidural this time because I had months of complications after although it was just what I needed at the time and I will get one again if I need to!
Remember to be flexible because it will never go exactly as you planned.
Post by applemuffins on Apr 29, 2017 7:46:32 GMT -5
The doctor who delivers me will be somebody I never met, so I'd like to have some birth preferences types out just incase. My obgyn office actuslly gave me a packet of papers that includes a birth prefernces checklist sheet, so I will probably just use that. Some of my birth preferences weren't able to be realized the first time, but I would rather have it just incase. I haven't toured the hospital yet so some of their policies might be what I want anyway
Delayed ointment Delayed hep b (will get it with the pediatrician) No formula unless I request No bath right away for baby Intermittent monitoring And for the love of god and all things holy, do NOT try to force me to push for 10 seconds. Count all you want but if I can't make it to 10, pat my back and say I did great and let it go.
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